At Fifty-Something My Sponsor Has Me Doing Tenth and Eleventh Step with Pen and Paper Every Night – Eric W.

About This Speaker Tape

Eric W., sober since July 20, 2003, tells his story at the Monday night Blue Chip Speaker Meeting at the Napa Club. Raised in Philadelphia, he moved to Atlanta at six when his psychiatrist father was invited by Jimmy Carter to head up Georgia Mental Health Institute. Smoking at seven, drinking wine at thirteen, and by ninth grade he was blacking out on a Dixie-cup mixture at a prep-school dance, throwing up in the principal's bathroom, and being beaten by his mother in the car in front of the whole school.

College in Pennsylvania became a country club he still regrets — Grateful Dead, fraternity life, graduating six weeks late. In Washington D.C. he squandered a Chrysler International connection to become a bike courier. A yellow jacket flew into his beer and stung his lip the one night heroin was on the table, and he decided out loud he wasn't doing any. Antarctica at McMurdo Station ended in a fistfight and being flown home. Back in Atlanta, after a Washington trip where he found an ex-girlfriend had been sleeping with his best friend, he asked his father to call AA — then called himself the next day and walked into the 9:30 meeting in August 1992.

That first run lasted until he decided marijuana was a loophole. He got married stoned, had a son, and lived high through a condominium, two cars, and a catering job. Around 2003 he came back thirsty and terrified of a drink, and fell in with a pack of twenty-somethings whose home group, Complete Abandon, only did Steps 1, 2, 3, and 12 — which he eventually realized was missing most of AA. Divorce came when his son was three; a second home group of mature men and long-term sobriety rebuilt him, and a remarriage brought three stepchildren, the oldest of whose wedding he attended three weeks ago alongside his first wife's family.

Now in his fifties with the job he held for decades sold out from under him, Eric runs a boutique catering company, breeds dogs, and just flew to the Hollywood Bowl with a Facebook group of Grateful Dead fans to scratch a bucket-list show. A new sponsor has him doing 10th and 11th steps with pen and paper every night — things he admits he should have been doing all along. He asks a Higher Power for help in the morning and says thank you at night, and calls it a manner of living. His closing line: wherever you come in, you get to build from there.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Blue Chip Speaker Meeting opening at the Napa Club, reading from page 29 of the Big Book
• 3:30 Sponsor introduces Eric, recalls meeting him years ago at a group called Complete Abandon
• 5:00 Eric reads powerlessness passages and admits he was under the delusion he controlled his drinking
• 10:00 Childhood in Philadelphia, move to Atlanta at six, father invited by Jimmy Carter to run Georgia Mental Health Institute
• 16:00 Ninth-grade school dance blackout, vomit in the principal's bathroom, and mother beating him in the car out front
• 23:00 Washington D.C. — squanders a Chrysler International interview, becomes a bike courier
• 26:00 Yellow jacket stings his lip the night he was about to try heroin, and he declines
• 29:00 McMurdo Station in Antarctica, fired after a fight and flown to Christchurch and Los Angeles
• 35:00 First AA meeting at the 9:30 in August 1992 after asking his father to call and then calling himself
• 44:00 Relapse on marijuana, married and fathered a son while stoned, return to AA around 2003
• 52:00 Leaves the 1-2-3-12 group for a home group of mature men with long-term sobriety
• 58:00 New sponsor has him doing 10th and 11th steps with pen and paper every night