Anna B. – Step 4 Inventory – Step 4 And The First Resentment – 2018

About This Speaker Tape

Anna traces her path from a childhood marked by hyper-insecurity and a father's addiction to a volatile early adulthood. She describes a descent into hard drugs and alcohol that left her stealing from roommates, peeing in cups and throwing them out the window of a house with a broken toilet, and neglecting children she was paid to nanny. After totaling her car while high on Xanax and getting arrested for possession, she entered a treatment center in North C.

. Anna dismantles the illusion of her own 'good girl' image, working through the steps to confront the wreckage of her relationships, including a difficult amends process with former employers and a strained bond with her sister. She eventually finds her footing in an Atlanta home group, moving from a 'dry drunk' state of suicidal ideation to a life as a business owner who can finally show up for her family.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Anna discusses her childhood and the shifting perspective on her parents' marriage.
• 4:10 The first drink and smoking pot out of a Coke can.
• 7:30 Dating a drug dealer in high school to ensure access to 'medicine'.
• 11:15 Laughter: The story of the broken toilet and peeing out the window.
• 14:20 The totaling of her car and the subsequent arrest for possession.
• 18:40 Entering treatment in North Carolina and the introduction to the Big Book and Steps.
• 22:10 The struggle of being a 'dry drunk' and experiencing suicidal ideation.
• 26:30 Working the Fourth and Fifth Steps; the fear of making amends to former employers.
• 29:15 The process of making amends to her sister and the concept of a 'living amends'.
• 32:00 Reflections on sponsorship and the ongoing practice of Steps 10, 11, and 12.