Ali H. at the FOTS Step 11 Speaker Series – 2024

About This Speaker Tape

A newborn baby, a lack of sleep, and a brain not quite working. Ali H. stands before the room as a "blank slate," recalling a time when he was unlovable, unemployed, and unable to draw a sober breath. For seven years, he knocked on every door to prove he didn't need a Higher Power, chasing accolades and romance like putting an ice cube on a third-degree burn of the soul. He describes the fraud of professing a spiritual life while his feet told a different story—giving his Higher Power the same time he gave his wife would have resulted in a divorce.

Now, he speaks of the "scientific process" of gathering evidence through action. He describes the shift from being a "scrap people life" to becoming a channel for a loving power. By washing the world's feet, his hands stopped trembling. He views his life as a deal: he manages the service, and the Higher Power handles the details.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Ali H. opens with transparency about his exhaustion and the presence of a newborn baby.
• 2:15 Description of the 'scrap people life' and the depths of suicidal ideation before recovery.
• 4:40 The 'ice cube on a third-degree burn' metaphor regarding the void inside.
• 7:20 Discussion of the 'scientific process' of gathering evidence for a Higher Power through action.
• 10:15 Laughter: The story of the old-timer comparing his spiritual life to his marriage to Afsi.
• 13:40 The practice of silence and the 'darkness to see and the silence to hear'.
• 15:10 A story of intuitive guidance leading him to comfort his wife during a business-deal panic attack.
• 18:30 The 'stinking swamp' metaphor for when spiritual energy doesn't flow through to others.
• 21:00 Account of volunteering at a 12-step based treatment center and the 'walls coming down'.
• 24:30 Discussion of exploring other religious texts and the 'treasure map' of the Big Book.
• 26:10 A profound spiritual experience in 2012 described as feeling like 'five hits of ecstasy'.
• 28:00 Closing thoughts on keeping feet on the earth among fellow travelers.