Acting Yourself Into a Way of Thinking – Burns B.

About This Speaker Tape

Joplin1991 - 1991

Burns B. maps out a recovery that spanned decades of chemical chaos moving from a childhood shaped by the wreckage of untreated alcoholism to a career as a physician fueled by amphetamines. He describes a life of 'plateaus of surrender,' where he spent years as a 'pseudo-therapist' in the rooms before finally hitting a wall of spiritual desperation. After a suicide attempt involving a shotgun he entered a program of rigorous honesty dismantling a history of manipulation and codependency. He traces his evolution from a man who used his medical degree to teach doctors about the disease to a student of the Big Book who learned to be of maximum service. The narrative culminates in the restoration of his relationship with his children and a fleeting lucid moment of recognition from his fading father in a nursing home.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Burns B. opens with a lighthearted exchange about his friend Dave and the 'sickness' of the alcoholic.
• 4:15 Reflection on the 'beacon of hope' represented by the AA candle.
• 12:30 Discussion on the 'plateaus of surrender' and the necessity of a Higher Power to restore sanity.
• 18:45 Childhood memories of Mayfield, KY, and the trauma of watching his grandfather sweep streets in shackles.
• 25:10 The amphetamine rage that led to him beating up a medical professor and being kicked out of school.
• 34:20 The contrast between psychiatric cognitive therapy and the spiritual solution of the 12 Steps.
• 42:15 The suicide attempt with a shotgun and the subsequent 'burning desire to live'.
• 52:10 Laughter: Discussion on 'cash register honesty' and the struggle to be honest with oneself.
• 1:02:00 The emotional breakthrough regarding his mother and the realization of her pain and shame.
• 1:15:30 The importance of the Big Book and the danger of 'forgetting' what happened the last time one drank.
• 1:28:45 The story of his daughter trying to shoot him with a shotgun while he was passed out.
• 1:42:10 A final, lucid moment with his father in a nursing home and a closing prayer for the room.