10th Step Spot Check Inventory – S. and Charlie P. – Springtime in the Ozarks Big Book Study – Eureka Springs, AR – Part 4 of 5 – Chris S. and Erika – Chris Schroeder and Erika

I need you on this one right now. You know, it says, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately, make amends quickly if we have harmed anybody, then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. It doesn't always mean, if I get a little resentment at work or a little bit of thoughts here, a little fear, it doesn't mean that I'm going to hop up from my desk and run down to the 24-hour club or run down the detox center, but it says we turn our thoughts to someone we can help. It re-centers my spirit, gets me out of myself, and sometimes I can help somebody. Sometimes I can just think about, and Katie and I will get a prayer list going, and it's like when you come to something where you need to turn your thoughts to somebody to help, think about that. We ran into a guy whose daughter just had a cleft palate repaired the day before, and it was like, put her into my thoughts. And really, I used to tell people I was going to pray for them. It was BS. I wasn't praying for them, you know what I mean? Well, now I'll put it in there. But it says we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone where we can help. And it says love and tolerance is our code. And a code means a way of living, a rule for a living. So my code now is love and tolerence of other people. It's part of growing an understanding and effectiveness. You know, I mean, if I walk into a group and go, you knuckleheads are killing our newcomers. You know? Well, that may not always be the most effective way to present that message. You know. So I have to think sometimes about what is, if i'm going to grow in understanding and effectiveness. How can I be more understanding of how this guy would want to be approached if the tables were turned? And how can I being more effective? I'm constantly trying to look at this work. I love getting in conversations with Larry, Katie, Chris. You know, I've got a lot of people that I – Danny B., you know, Bob D., we talk all the time about, you know. What do you do when a guy says this? What if you run up against this? And it's all about growing and understanding and effectiveness. In the 10th step. But I remember in my little crew of guys, I don't want to give the impression that we're just awesome all the Time. I mean, I had to jump on them the other day. I said, my God, guys, I must be the most amazing sponsor that ever hit the ground. And they said, why is it? And I said well because apparently none of you guys are experiencing selfishness, resentment, dishonesty or fear ever. Or you're not talking to me about it. When it says we talk to somebody about it immediately, who are you talking to about it? You know, you got somebody else you're calling to talk about when stuff isn't there. like i'm not running around on you charlie uh you know they're like i i'm not talking to anybody about it you know and i say well i didn't think so you know but i mean that's what you know when it's talking about when so now you know and uh there's one my best one has got loved ones here in the room you know because he really is the best about calling me like going got a little 10 step issue you know had a little dishonesty at work today or Or I had a little resentment at work today. Or I did something in that fear, that sort of thing. And talking about it. And then making amends if you need to. First, it's ask God to remove. You go to God with it first. You goto somebody else with it. Then you make the amendsif you need too. And then turn my attention to somebody. It's a formula for getting through the day. It's called a spot check inventory. It's going through theday like that. There are some 10-step promises here that I think are absolutely fantastic, but I really don't have time to do the thing because I'm really looking forward to Chris's step 12. But I'm willing to believe in it. Bill said one time in a writing that meditation, self-examination, and prayer are all tremendous spiritual tools, but when done together, they form an unshakable foundation for life. Meditation, self-examination, and prayer. Carrying that through my spiritual life forms an unshakable foundation for life. Well, there's a lot to be said in these 10-step promises, but I really want to move further with this because it's important for me to tell you that Chris and I are drunks. And if I'm sitting up here talking about this stuff, I don't want to give the impression that I'm always nailing this deal perfectly. I want to tell you a quick story about the Sprint store. One day, I do a lot of work in this treatment center. One day on a Monday morning, Katie and I had been to give somebody a chip the night before. And at the SprINT, well, it's on my resentment list today because this turd will not make a phone call. You know, ever since I've been here, I can't make a call. call. Well, so anyway, I'm in the Sprint store and at one point it wasn't going that great. Then this guy, little manager comes out of the back and, and at 1. I look up and I am rolled up on my knuckles on the counter of the Sprit store, like a gorilla, you know? And I'm saying we don't need some Nimrod from a cubicle in the back coming out here and screwing the whole deal up. It's good, huh? And, uh, and he goes off and I'm standing there and I just, and I look over and And this guy's kind of grinning at me, kind of funny, you know. And I go, man, they're getting me a little worked up in here. And he goes, did you see me get my 90-day chip last night? And I'm just like, okay, pal, what you just saw was not exactly the principles of our program and action. Now, if you stick around here for a minute, you're going to get to see the 10th step in action. You know, because we're going to make amends quickly, you know. Oh my God. Well, these 10th Step Promises are fantastic and if you read them, they are a long way from being the guy on page 24 that is without defense against the first rank. If I follow this bit of work, Now I'm in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. It's a long way away. And I always like to point out to the guys that from the third step prayer to this person here on 84 and 85 that's in a condition of neutrility, we're talking about this much work. That many pages out of the big book right there. From the third-step prayer to being this person in a situation of neutrity, 21 pages of work. We'll run from that. We'll do anything but that. If you're an alcoholic like I am, give it a try and see if it works. Because if it doesn't work, they're not closing down the liquor stores. But if somebody has been to treatment 15 times, what they always do is they get out, the obsession returns, they drink again, and they want to go back to treatment. It's like why do you keep going back to the thing that has proven not to do it long term but you won't involve yourself in the thing we're telling you works every time. Try working at all 12 steps of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It says here, It's easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels, our previous achievements. We're headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We're not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. What? Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. There's that God consciousness we're talking about. Is God really a piece of the decision-making process? You know, I had one of my sponsees call me the other day and he goes, Do you have a vision of G-d's will today, Charlie? And I was like, I'm carrying it into all my activities, Jamie. But it says, How can I best serve thee? Thy will not mine be done. these are thoughts which must go with us constantly that's another place in the book where it restates the deal we made in step three you know we're back to i'm out of the god business i'm not a management i'm just going to do my little piece of work and god's going to take care of you guys in charge of management now he says how can i best serve thee thou will not mind be done these are thought which must come with this constantly we can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish it's the proper use of the will so just think about it we turned our will in our lives over to care of god in the third step and here in at the beginning of step 11 he's given he's cleaned it up and giving it back to us you know now he's saying that if i carry a vision of god's will into these things it'sthe proper useofthewill and i can use my will along these lines all i want but i gotta be continue to stay on that line he says we can use our our willpower along this line what 10 and 11 does is it allows me to keep moving back to the line i get a little bit off and i move back tothe line i got a little resentful i'll move backto the line i geta little fearful i'llmovebacktotheline you know and it's given me tools to do that because otherwise if i'm not doing this stuff by the end of the day i'm kind of pointed over this way i go to bed the next morning i'm going that way and i don't even know it you know so we're constantly trying to move backtothesline this line of god's will and And it says, much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration and direction. Three things from him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of his spirit into us. How's that for a promise? If we've carefully followed direction, we begin to sense the flow Of God's spirit into Us. To some extent, we become God conscious. There's that God consciousness again. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. Vital means critical to life, crucial, you know, this sixth sense of God's will. I've got to go further and that means more action. Step 11 suggests prayer and meditation. I'm going to move through this real fast. But the first time we were ever around my late sponsor, Mark Houston, I'll never forget it. Katie and I went into this workshop and he kept talking about the disciplines of 10, 11, and 12. And in the disciplines, anybody ever heard Mark talk? In the disciplines of 10.11 and 12, and living in the disciplines of10.11and12, when I'm in the disciplines of 11.11.12, practicing the disciplines of 1011.1112, and the disciplines of 10... I mean, just shut up because I was not hanging out in the discipline of 10 11 and 12 You know, and he was serious about it. Well, when we get into 11, it says, it talks about this, much as argument said, now listen to these instructions. It says it would be easy to be vague about this matter, but we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. Now what did it say on the page before? Step 11 suggests prayer. So we're clearly in step 11. Next thing, when We Retire at Night, We constructively review our day. So try to figure out a nice way to tell people that the evening review is not in the 10th step. It's right here in the 11th step, and it's the evening reviewing. It says, was I resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? And here's something interesting about the evening preview. It's the same four things that I'm supposed to be watching for in the spot check inventory. So the evening review is basically, at the end of the day, going, how good a job did you do on your tenth step today? Right? It says, were you resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? Do you owe an apology? Have you kept something? Remember it says talk to somebody else about it? Have you keep something to yourself which should be discussed with another person at once? Were you kind and loving towards all? If that's our code, like it said, were You doing it? And then you might ask yourself, if it's the same thing, why did they put it in here twice? But on this last piece here, it says, it brings God into it. It says, what could I have done better? Was I thinking of others, of ourselves most of the time? Or was I thinking about what I could do for others, what I would do for myself? What I could pack into the stream of life. But I've got to be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review, we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. That's the evening review. It doesn't have to be written. My boys do it written, but sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'll just run through this stuff in my head. Sometimes I do it... For a while I thought I was going to have to change it to the morning review because I'd fall into bed and I'd get up and do it the next morning. But it's talking about doing it. You know, looking back over the day, And so that's worth giving some attention. And then the next one says, on awakening. And these are some very clear directions about what to do. It says, when I get up in the morning, I think about the 24 hours ahead. Before I begin, I ask God to direct my thinking. Then it says, I asked God to take it away from three things. What are those three things? we ask god to direct our thinking especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity dishonest or self-seeking motives funny itself pity would come first under these conditions what conditions the idea of having self-pitty dishonest and self-Seeking motors out of the way under those conditions i can employ my mental faculties with assurance for after all god gave us brains to use here's an interesting little two-word got a dash in it it says our thought life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives i don't know about any of y'all but when i got here my thought life was all there is i mean i thought it and it became truth and it was my entire reality was what goes on in my head and just being able to step out of myself enough to watch the way I think is another state of consciousness that I didn't have when I get here. I mean, sometimes it's interesting to go, well, look what happens when Charlie gets afraid or look what happened when Charlie feels shame, you know, or look, what happens, you know, being able to observe my thought life was not something I showed up here with, but it's saying our thought life will be on a much higher plane when our thinking is clear to wrong motives and thinking about our day. We may face indecision, may not be able to determine which course to take here we ask god for inspiration an intuitive thought or a decision guess what this falls right after this period of work that's unblocking me because if i'm blocked that intuitive thought is not coming you know it's a promise this is straight out of katie i'm ripping this off from katie big time but if i am blocked the intuitive thought is not coming even if god was sitting right here with a bullhorn you know going don't date that one you know or you know are you know well that's a bad example because i'm married but but but you know what i'm saying i mean that intuitive thought or decision is not common if i'm all wrapped up in fear and and resentment and self-seeking and that sort of thing so that's While we're trying to stay unblocked, and it says we relax and take it easy. We're often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. Practice, practice, practice. Somebody asked Mark right before the end of his life, they said, what's the secret to staying sober, Mark? And he said, repetition. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it's not probable we're going to be inspired at all times. It goes on further to say, Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. And then it says, we usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that I'll be shown all through the day what my next step is to be, that I'd be given whatever I need to take care of such problems. I ask especially for freedom from self-will and I'm careful to make no requests for myself only. You know, it's kind of restating the deal again there. It's unbelievable though you know one of the things in uh in using that 1936 dictionary primary purpose group meditation means something different then than it did now if you look up meditation in that 1936 webster's dictionary it says deep thought thinking abstractedly a contemplation with the beatles and robbie shankar and and you know all the stuff that came in in the 60s we began to think that meditation means, you know, alms and cross-legged. Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that stuff, but I don't think it's what Bob and Ann and Bill were doing over on Ardmore Street in Akron there. You know, at first they were thinking about the day. They were bringing God into it. They were trying to have God consciousness. They're asking Him to take it away from self-pity, dishonest, self-seeking motives, trying to carry this vision of God's will into the day, you know? And that sort of thing. Now, I like to do three minutes or five minutes or seven minutes of quiet time. Katie doesn't like it at all. That's up to you. But it's interesting how quickly we'll shelf this process and try to go to something else or try to go to nothing. For most of us, after a while, it's just kind of get up and grab the reflections book off the back of the toilet. If I do that, I'm having a pretty good day. You know, it's amazing how just going to these clear-cut directions in the book will change the direction of my day. Our buddy Bob talked about he'd sat at the feet of the Dalai Lama and he'd been to ashrams and he's been to all this stuff and he had a sponsor come up and go, I want to meditate. And he didn't have time to talk to the guy and he goes, why don't you just do what the book says? And he said he noticed after a couple of weeks that this guy was doing better than he was. You know? Maybe I better give that a try myself, you know? It's great stuff, and it's really interesting, you know, to try just doing that. Then down there at the bottom, it says as I go through the day, I pause. I use an, what do you call it when you use the first letter of several, anagram? Acronym? Pars. Like in pars on a golf course? It says, as I go through the day, I pause when agitated or doubtful, ask for the right thought or action, constantly remind myself I'm no longer running the show, saying to myself many times each day, thy will not mine be done. You always hear people saying, pause when agitated or doubtful. But you don't always hear them saying, ask for the right thought or action. Remind myself I'm no longer running the show and saying to myself, many times each day? What? How about a few times each Day? A couple of times each way, thy will not mind be done. This is amazing stuff and it gives me some 11-step promises here. Now back on page 62, when it told me I was going to quit playing God, it gave me a good reason for it it said it didn't work right here on page 88 it says it works it really does go ahead Chris you know the 11th step, the 10th and 11th step have grown in meaning and depth in my life I find a lot of comfort in spiritual study, spiritual contemplation And, you know, Charlie's right. Really what Bill was talking about when he was talking about meditation was really deep contemplation, contemplation techniques that people had. They would read religious books and then sit and think very, very deeply about what they had read. And a lot of times in the silence, they would come up with guided thoughts. They would come to certain conclusions or figure out what they were going to do next. And in the early Oxford Group days, they'd actually write down those guided thoughts. And then they'd take those guided thought and share them with somebody who was also a guided individual to see whether or not they were God-directed. These early AAs really believed that they could listen to God. And they could come to some serious conclusions about what God would want them to do, what God Would Want Them to Be, how God Would want them to act, the next actions in their lives. And they were very, very concerned about that. In Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers, there's a section where it says that meetings were desirable, prayer and meditation were essential. So they took this stuff very, very seriously. And I find myself when I'm meditating. I find a lot of healing in that silence. I find the peace and I find a lot of comfort in reading and studying the spiritual work that I study but I also find a lot of healing in the silence when I just check out and just kind of quiet myself down and think about things. So it's all very important. Now what I wanted to talk about closing up What I wanted to share with you about is about the chapter, Chapter 7, Working With Others. I believe it's a chapter that is largely ignored today in Alcoholics Anonymous. And and I think I think our success has has been impacted by the ignoring of this chapter. I think that many, many people have gotten lazy in Alcoholics Anonymous. And they're passing the buck off to detoxes and treatment centers and psychologists and psychiatrists and alcoholism counselors and everything else. And they are mistaking our public relations policy for how they should work their 12-step. You will hear people say, well it is attraction not promotion. If somebody wants something from me, they'll ask for it. Well, that's not necessarily the case. And besides, that is our public relations policy. It is not how we are supposed to operate on the 12th step. I will tell a story that will kind of lead into what I want to talk about in this chapter. I started a riot in the 1998 New Jersey State Convention. it wasn't my fault but here's what happened I was asked to share my experience, strength and hope on the 12th step in the Alcathon so at 11 o'clock at night on Saturday it was the last meeting of the Alacathon I got up these were the instructions share your experience, faith and hope for 20 minutes then open it up for sharing so that's what I did Now, I thought, okay, how am I going to do this? How am I gonna do this. I know, I will share for 10 minutes on how I went from step one to step 12. And then 10 minutes on how I take other people through those steps or how I help to guide other people through those 12 steps. Because if you read the chapter, working with others, that's really what the instructions are. It's really What We're Fitting Ourselves For as sober, recovered members of Alcoholics Anonymous. We're fitting ourselves to be of maximum service to God and our fellow man. And we're preparing ourselves to take other people through the steps. Now, what I did was I shared this for 20 minutes and then it was open to questions. And there's a phenomenon of character that is in the North Jersey area. They're the cranky old-timer, okay? Anybody ever met one of those? All right. You know, the... Shut up! You know? They're like the cranking old-timers. Now, what happened was I guess this individual took exception to my experience, strength, and hope. And he was very insulting. My wife had shared after me. and he insulted her in a big way, which didn't, you know, endear him to me. And then he went off on me. And basically he did something like this. You know, all that crap that you were sharing. You're talking about all this crap and all these steps and all this other stuff. You sound like some crazy counselor. You talk about all these stuff. That's not how you do it. I don't know where you get that stuff. You know? This is how we do it! We take the newcomer, we throw them in the car, and we take them to a meeting. and then we love them until they can love themselves and I don't know about all this other crap that you're sharing and this is basically how he shared in this meeting and he went on for like 10 minutes now I bided my time a little bit and I'm leading the meeting so I get rebuttal rights ok now basically what I said was I forget the guy's name Harry or whatever and he had his little brain dead sponsees that followed him around like little geese you know what I mean it was just pathetic but I judged no man just like Charlie anyway anyway I got him almost to the end You know, anyway, you know, the guy finally shuts up. And this is how the riot started. I said, Harry, you don't really. Thanks a lot for sharing that opinion you have on the 12th step. Very, very interesting. You know what? What it brings to mind to me is that there is an actual basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's an actual textbook, you know, on proper procedures and protocol in Alcoholics Anonymous. And strangely enough, there's a chapter working with others, which is basically on the 12th step. And you know what? I'm pretty familiar with that chapter. And I can't remember anywhere in that chapter where it says throw somebody into a car, take them to a meeting, and love them until they love themselves. And he freaks out. He absolutely freaks up. And he's throwing chairs and kicking over tables. I've never seen this before, but everybody is blowing for the exits. You know, the chairperson is going, meeting's over, meeting'S over. I'm like, you know, the reason I basically tell this story is because there's differences of opinion in alcoholics. But I got to tell you, You know, I try to come from the book as much as I can so that it's not my own twisted, crazy opinion. You know sometimes that creeps in, you know, but I really try to check myself with the literature, you know the guiding text and in this basically there's over 60 instructions in the chapter working with others and they are largely ignored in Alcoholics Anonymous today. And I've got to tell you, it directly impacts the lives that could be saved if we pay more attention to this. Now, when I first read this chapter, I was a little bit horrified because I was thinking, wow, that's really extreme, you know? That's really weird to do all that stuff. You know, all I really want to do is get somebody to a detox. I mean, that's really what I thought the 12-step was. Get them to Happy Hills. And really what that is, is that's a taxi ride. You know what I mean? It's being very, very helpful, but it's a taxiride. It's not the 12 step work that they ask us to do in this chapter. The 12 step walk happens after they get out of Happy Hills and they come over to your house and you start to take them through the steps. if they're willing to do that. Now, a lot of people are not going to be willing to go through these steps. And what's happened in AA, at least in my area, is it's become absolutely fine for you to come in, languish in the back of the room, not being held accountable to working a 12-step process. It's all well and fine. And the suffering because of that is just unbelievable. It's immense. It has become way more important for us to not hurt anybody's feelings than it to actually offer a solution to alcoholism. Now, there are two things that you can do if you want to help an alcoholic. One of them is you can encourage them not to drink. And we do that a lot of times by patting them on the head at the meeting and tell them to keep coming back and giving them a meeting book. We do a lot of that work to help encourage somebody to not drink and to keep going. But that pales in comparison to not to drink. And we do that a lot of times by patting them on the head at the meeting and telling them to keep coming and giving them a reading book. We do a lot of that work to help encourage somebody to not drink and to keep coming. But that pales in comparison to what it tells us to do in the chapter working with others. In the chapter Working With Others, it tells them to show them how they can be free of alcoholism. How they can recover from alcoholism How they completely transform their life into something unbelievable. One of the forgotten promises is that the best years of your life are ahead of you. What is that, Charlie? You know that one better than me. The best yearsof our existence lie ahead of us. The best yearsofour existence lies ahead ofus. That's a promise, okay? Now, you get that by working the steps. You don't get that by going to meetings. Going to meetings does not treat alcoholism. Going to meeting at best creates A period of time where you can be sober. Going through the steps creates recovery. But the difference between recovery and sobriety are huge. Sobriety is just not drinking. You can get sober by punching a cop. You'll have a brief period of sobriery for sure after that. But the steps are about something really, really different. and this guy who freaked out and kicked over the chairs and kickedover the tables in the 1992 convention or whatever it was he didn't understand the difference between sobriety and recovery he was trying to help his guys stay sober because that's all he knew it wasn't in his experience recovery was not in his experience because he had never done it and he didn' t understand it because he'd never done it and he thought that I was crazy. Because it wasn't an experience that he had. Now, the thing is, no matter how far down the scale you've gone, you'll find your experience can help others. The same thing could be true as you can go down the scale pretty far. And the people that go down to scale pretty far really, really need a transformational experience, a complete personality change at death that will enable them to recover from alcoholism. And if we're not offering people that, if we are just offering the mere encouragement not to drink, it's not enough. It's not Enough for most people. Most people can't not drink and go to meetings. Charlie, just don't drink and go do meetings. Most people cannot do that. They need more power to withhold that power or to be too busy to offer that power or to not have the experience to offerthat power is near criminal. People die. 100,000 people in America every year die of alcoholism. 100,00 people. You know, that every single year. And there's about 3 or 4 million people in Alcoholics Anonymous. If we get about the business of doing what this chapter says, I know we can cut that in half. I know we can, because it tells us to seek out these still-suffering alcoholics. Don't wait for them to show up at your closed-minded discussion meeting on Tuesday night. Seek them out. Go to where they're still suffering. Yeah, they're probably suffering in the closed-mindered discussion meeting, but take a little bit more initiative. Take a little bit more initially. go to the detoxes, go to the mental hospitals. That's what these AAs did back in the day. They tried to find people who needed this then they tried by telling their story and trying to set the hook with identification tried to get these people interested in recovery and then hopefully these people would say well what did you guys do? How did you guy recover? And they didn't say, you know, I got a home group, you know, and sober softball. I mean, they didn' t say that. They said, I went through the 12 steps. I've had a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 steps. Would you like to go through the twelve steps? In the very, very early days of AA, it was more appropriate to start working the steps before you even got to the meetings, you You know, in the early days of AA, they had a recovery program, which is the 12 step process with a support fellowship. The fellowship was in support of that recovery program. There are places today on this planet where what you have is you have a recovery fellowship with maybe sometimes a support program if someone has even a clue or any experience at all. And that directly relates to the difference in the success rates that early AA had and what AA is experiencing today. Now, success rate statistics are ambiguous at best, but you can glean a little bit of the truth of them If this book says 75% of the people who came to AA and really tried ended up sober and recovered, you cannot tell me 75% OF THE PEOPLE THAT ARE WALKING INTO OUR GROUPS TODAY ARE RECOVERING. It's nowhere near that. In the Grapevine Magazine, about a year ago, I think it was March or April of last year, They they reinstituted the gray pages. What the gray pages are is they're basically statistics and information from the professional community on alcoholism and a group an independent group did a study on 12 step success rates on 12 step fellowship success rates not just AA but what they did was they went around and they sampled a whole bunch of different 12 step groups and And when people were coming out of the meetings, they just asked them some simple basic questions. And when I read the statistics in this magazine, I was horrified because it basically said that 45% of the people attending 12-step fellowship meetings today have been sober for less than 30 days. 45% are sober less than 40 days. is anybody else horrified with that statistic if we were doing if we were doing a really good job you would have the same amount of people celebrating 20 years that celebrate 90 days in your group every year but we know we're not that successful we know we lose people now like i said earlier i believe that you have to give to AA to get enough power back from AA to be able to stay. I totally, totally believe that. But I also believe that the chapter working with others is something that we need to start paying attention to. It says practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. What is intensive work with other alcoolics? Charlie, here's my phone number. Give me a call if you feel like drinking. That's not intensive work with other alcoholics. They go on to explain what intensive work with other alcoolics is. It's basically taking those prospects through the steps. They become protégés and then at the end of the step process they become friends. In Alcoholics Anonymous today, sometimes we tend to degrade the people that we work with or denigrate the people we work with. In the book, Bill is very non-judgmental. He says people cannot or will not give themselves to this simple program. Those are the people who don't make it. They cannot or they will not give themselves to this simple program. Well, in this chapter it basically says if somebody cannot or will now work with you, don't work with them. If they're not willing to go through the steps with you you are not supposed to be spending time with them. You can remain helpful with them, you know, you can tell them where the meetings are and everything but so often in the past I made the mistake of spending a lot of time with these guys that didn't really want to change they would find every excuse in the world to stay away from the fourth and the fifth step. They would find every excuse in the word to not go out and make direct amends or start a prayer and meditation discipline or to help other people They were absolutely uninterested in helping other people. Yet they wanted me to be their drama coach, you know? Chris! Chris! You wouldn't believe! You know, I need to talk to you. I need you to spend some time with you. I need the coverage of stuff with you! Well, you now, how about if we inventory some of that? Inventory! You know what I mean? InventORY! Hell, I've got real problems! And there was a period of time where I was sponsoring psychotics, you know? Like, I'm not... I mean real psychotics. Two of them are in prison now and, you know, I mean, it got really, really bad. These people were sociopaths. They were using me for cover. They were using me as their sponsor, you to give them legitimacy as they maneuvered around AA and raped, robbed, and pillaged. And I was allowing this to go on. If I was following the instructions in this chapter, that never would have happened to me. I would have been able to hold them accountable. I would Have been able to say, okay, well, you're not willing to work the steps with me. Look, there's only one way I know to recover from alcoholism. what you want me to do is something that you're coming up with you want to define how I help you but I only know one way of overcoming alcoholism and that's going through the steps and you're unwilling to go through the footsteps I can't help you go find somebody who you respect enough to follow their direction You know, because it's not going to help you to use me as a drama coach. I'm not that good at it. You know? You want to talk to me about relationship issues? You wantto call me up at 11 o'clock at night and ask me advice on relationship issues ? You'd be better served somewhere else probably. You know what I mean? You wanto talk tome about legal problems? I'mnot a lawyer. You know you want me to be your counselor? I don't have a counseling degree. I can't counsel you. What I can do is I can help take you through these steps that will give you a spiritual awakening at death that will enable you to be in the sunlight of the Spirit, safe and protected, where your problems are just going to start melting away from you because you're going to be living along spiritual lines. That's what I can doing. Counseling you or sitting on the phone with you every night while you update me about your drama du jour is a waste of my time. I don't have the time for that. What I can do, though, is I can block out some time and have you come over to my house and we'll sit down and we will start going through the book. Now, I've got some guys that have gone through the work with me. The ones that have made it through, every single one of them are card-carrying AA members in good standing. Their quality of life is out the roof and they're all continuing to be consistent at meetings and they all work with other people. They all take other people through the steps and do 12-step work. Every single person that I took through the step, now every single person I tried to help in AA is not still around. The people I tried the drama coach are not around. The people who would call me up when they were in a jackpot, you know, want me to help them out of the jackpot are not still round. the people who went through this work are still around. So, this book doesn't tell us not to work with the people who are unwilling because we want to be exclusionary. It basically says we have a finite amount of time. We want to help as many people as we possibly can. So, by making sure that we're taking people through the steps, we're doing the maximum amount of good we can do for somebody. it's not about being exclusionary now today people know enough about me to know not to ask me to sponsor them if they're not willing to go through the steps but that wasn't always true so usually the people that ask me to sponsor themselves stay sober I've got at least a 75% sobriety rate for the people that askme to sponsor at least 75% of them stay sober Now, that's not typical in Alcoholics Anonymous today. So, this chapter is ultra important. Now, are there people that are showing up in Alcoholic Anonymous meetings that want no part of these steps? Or no partof going around and making amends? Or no parte of praying and meditating? Or nopart of working with other people? Yes. Are they welcome in Alcoholical Anonymous? Absolutely. Am I responsible for working with them and helping them? No! No. This chapter tells me I'm supposed to work with the people who are willing to go through these steps. The other people, you know, I can pat them on the head every once in a while and encourage them to keep coming. But the big mistake I made in my first ten years was saying yes to everybody that asked me to sponsor them and then getting dragged into their drama. That was a huge mistake. I would have been better served to insist on adherence to these principles the way this chapter tells us we must do it. You know, there's wonderful information in here. I'm not going to sit here and read everything, but this is how you do the 12-step call. You tell them exactly what happened to you. stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man's atheist or agnostic make it a fact that he does not have to agree with your conception of God, he can choose any conception he likes provided it makes sense to him. But he must choose a conception of god. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. And then it talks basically about how to outline the program of action. The 12 steps. explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you did a four-step, how you straightened out your past, how you went out and made amends. This is what you're supposed to do on the 12-step call. Why you're now endeavoring to be helpful for him. It's important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. So tell him that you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken the action of the steps. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion or crusade or reform. If he is not interested in your solution, if he's not interested în going to the 12 steps, if he expects for you to act as a banker for his financial difficulties, a nurse for his sprees, He's a coach for his drama. You may have to drop him until he changes his mind. You're supposed to drop them if they're not willing to go through this step. This stuff has pretty much been forgotten in Alcoholics Anonymous. And that would be okay if it wasn't for the fact that people who are in real trouble still come into AlcoholicsAnonymous. The real alcoholic still shows up in Alcoholics Anonymous. And without a deep and vital solution to their problem, they're going to die. They're going come into AA. They're go to a couple of discussion meetings. They're gonna go to the sober softball and the sober dance. And they're gonna see that there's not enough there for them. It's not a big enough answer. There's not an enough power in something like that for them to be able to stay sober. But when you take somebody through the steps, you expose them directly to the power of God. And the people who are willing, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed the path. How can we possibly not offer the path to people if we have the possibility of doing so? and again when I first got sober in North Jersey it was all about just keep coming back you don't get it, it gets you and the problem was I was a real alcoholic and I was suffering emotionally and spiritually so much going to 13 meetings a week making coffee till the grinds came out of my ears going to the sober dances where my feet felt like lead. Going out to the diner with the alcoholics after the meeting, I still wanted to kill myself after about a year of that because I had untreated alcoholism because all that activity was not action. The action it talks about in this book is step action. You know, so if I sound passionate about this, it's because I almost died because I wasn't exposed to this. I had to expose myself to it from a bunch of tapes from people in Arkansas, if you can imagine. You know what I mean? And I thank you all for that. I truly feel like coming down here and doing a big book workshop in Arkansas would be like Einstein asking me to do a talk on physics at Princeton. And, you know, it's an unbelievable honor. And I really want to thank all of you for being here and being part of this weekend. I'm going to give the last ten minutes to Charlie. All right. Good stuff, Chris. Thank you. Thank you for that. That was really terrific. Having a real answer for yourself, for yourself, the only thing better than having a real answer for yourself is feeling like you've got a real answer for the new guy. That is where the real magic takes place in this program. And when a guy comes in, when you get into this work, all of a sudden people will be coming up to you going, can I get your phone number? Or any way you could go through the work and it's such a wonderful feeling and they go, absolutely. Absolutely. You got a big book? If you don't have a bigbook, we'll buy you one. You know, let's sit down here and let's start going through the book. Bam, bam. Have you had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps? And I can show you exactly what I did in order to get it. It's unbelievable. Because I sit there and I go, There was a long time when I could pipe up and I could say something really funny in a meeting about how sick I was and the way I acted out in the world and the ways I acted in traffic and stuff. But at the end of the meeting, there wasn't anybody coming up wanting what I had. You know, and all of a sudden I started getting lined up with some of these guys and listening to these CDs and doing this work. And next thing you know people are coming up going, can we talk? Is there any way we could sit down after the meeting? It's good stuff. One thing I want to finish with. Studying all this stuff that we've been talking about in here is really great stuff. I'm drawn to it. I love it. But going to conferences and going to big book studies and that sort of thing will not do the job. This is a program of action. And what happens is, maybe I'm suffering a little bit. And I think, you know what? I'm going to go to a conference. And I get to a Conference, and I get around the solution. And I Get Around People That Are Talking About The Solution. And I Getting Around PeopleThatAreExperiencingTheSolution. And I even, you know, I get an uplift in feeling because I reconfirm that the solution is there. But what happened in my life for a long time was I'd go back home come Sunday afternoon and I'd fall back into my life. And next thing you know it's my wife and it's My Kids and it' s my job and this sort of thing. And what happens is getting all this knowledge about this stuff just can be so much more self-knowledge. And really, I mean, the book speaks clearly on page 39 when it says the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. See if you think this is important. This is a point we wish to emphasize and reemphasize to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. This is the program of actions. If you've been in these rooms for a while, you know, when I talk, I love the newcomer. And there's some newcomers in this room and it's the lifeblood of our fellowship and I'm always so happy that there are new people here. I think there's plenty of message of the hope of recovery out there for the new man and woman rolling into AA. The people I like to talk to are the people that have been sitting in these groups for a long time and they've been sitting in these rooms for awhile. You know, they've been sitting around here for two years, five years, 15 years, 25 years, dying of untreated alcoholism. Sitting in these rooms going, I'm not experiencing what I hear you people talking about. You know? The people that are getting up at these podiums are talking about something that is not happening to me. And you can see it in your own group. Okay, this is another line I'm stealing from Katie. But when next time, you know how we all like to laugh it up in the meetings? And we'll say stuff and everybody's just cracking up laughing. take a second, look around. Not everybody's laughing. There's people in that room that don't think a damn thing is funny. And that's the people, when you're talking about looking for somebody to work with, you go over to that guy and go, how are you doing? You know, and a lot of times the other one will go, not good, not good. You know I'm not drinking, but it ain't good. You know and getting into this work and having the experience that the book talks about, It turns out the big book is not the answer. I'm an unapologetic big book thumper. I mean, I love the big books. It cracks me up how in meetings people will go, it doesn't crack me up, it pisses me off, how people in meetings go, listen, I'm no book quoter, you know, or I hope I don't ever quote the book, and you're like, oh, no, don't do that, you know, we'd much rather hear a bunch of crap out of your head, you You know, then the big book, you know. I mean, but it turns out that the big book is not the answer to my problems today. Studying the big book is not the answer to my problems today. The big book is a description of actions that if I take them in my life on a regular basis, they will produce the solution of my problem and that's where the real magic happens and that's when a new guy comes up and you go, absolutely we need to sit down and talk because I've been right where you are and I'm on the other side of it now and I can show you how we did it it's the real magic of this program there are pockets of enthusiasm all over the country, we whine about discussion meetings and stuff and I don't know that we need a squillion of them but there are people out here into the book and I really believe that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is making a big comeback And you're seeing people all over the place that are starting to see the failure of what happens just trying to get by and just going to meetings. So, I mean, Chris is one of my favorite guys. And getting the opportunity to come in here and talk to you people, and I see plenty of nodding heads during this thing. I know there's a lot of people in here that are on this same page. It's been a real honor to get here to come with you. I was able to come here last year and talk. And then this year, Katie's going to talk tomorrow night for those of y'all. I love the program Alcoholics Anonymous. And, you know, to say that it has saved my life is such an understatement. I've got a whole new meaning for that because one day I was driving past this prison where my best friend from my using days was in there. And it was the fourth time he'd been to the penitentiary since I'd been sober. He was doing 36 years at that time. and for some reason this thought popped into my head of the period of time we get to spend on this planet. You know, that my life is the amount of time that I get to spent here between the time I was born and the time that I pass. And I was looking at what alcohol and outside issues had done to Rex's life. You know it basically robbed him of it And it gave a whole new meaning to the term Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life. Because when I look at what was in store for me and how I was plucked out of that and experienced this program, it gives a whole New Meaning to this deal saved my life. So to that, I am truly grateful. And we are so happy to be here. And I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it. Thank you.