Young People Who Think Their Story Isn’t Bad Enough for AA Yet – Jacob B.

What's up everyone? My name is Jacob. I am a recovered alcoholic. It's always weird
to hear a lot of nice words about yourself. I'm still getting used to that
and I was trying not to look at the amount of people, you know. So it's like
so cool though seeing all the newcomers. Like that is awesome. Like if this is
your first meeting or you're in your first day, hour, week, like welcome. Like
so glad you guys can make it on and I really hope I can shed, you know, give you
guys some encouragement, some hope, some strength. Now you might have noticed that
I introduced myself as a recovered alcoholic. That means that I have
recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. It doesn't mean
that I can drink successfully whatsoever. My experience shows me that time and
time again. And a little qualification here. My sobriety dates November 24th,
2020. I have a sponsor that knows I'm his sponsor and I'm, you know, still a
couple years in. I still check in with him regularly. I've been through the 12
steps as it's outlined through the big book about Alcoholics Anonymous and have
the honor and privilege of sponsoring other men in this program. I'm also a
part of the Treasure Coast Host Committee for FICEPAW. That's the Florida
Conference of Young People of Alcoholics Anonymous. We have our conference here
in the Treasure Coast on the September 19th, 2025. It's gonna be really cool. I
can give you guys any more information about that after the meeting. But
without further ado, I'll go over a little bit of what it was like, what it's
like, or what happened, what it's like today, right? And that's what the book
tells us what to do when we share our experience. So something I always start
with, and it's like funny, like I grew up in a painstakingly average middle
class household. And the reason why I say that is like there wasn't really any
great trauma that I can go to a therapist or I can go to someone at the
bar and say, you know, when I drink and I use because this, that, and the third
happened, no, like I drink and I use because I like the effect that was
produced by alcohol and other substances, like straight up and simple, you know?
And it's like once any of those substances were introduced to my body,
like I had this physical allergy that like once I have one, like I need more. So
like even in the beginning, like like the first time that I was like drinking, like
I drank alcoholically, like I was a kid, you know, I remember it very clearly,
like going to, it was like the homecoming game with my brother, like
freshman year of high school, hitting the bottle, going to the keg afterwards
and just like going to the keg party afterwards and like thinking that I
could do this for the rest of my life. And, you know, like I ended up passed
out the ditch. That was my first couple of experiences with drinking and my
first introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was like 15 years old.
Granted, like my parents, you know, I grew up with silver parents going to meetings
and such. So I was like one of those kids, if you go to an in-person meeting,
I was probably one of those little kids like running around, right?
But I never really knew what it meant to be an alcoholic or like what
Alcoholics Anonymous was in my first introduction. I looked around and I know
it's like very easy to secure the consequences, right? Like I just heard
like, oh, they're on their third DUI or they lost the house, they lost the kids.
I was like, I'm not like them because none of that stuff happened.
I'm a 15 year old kid. Like I don't have, you know, I was never married,
no girlfriend. Like I didn't have a car to get a DUI with or a driver's license,
you know, so I didn't really like identify with how they drink.
And I was already drinking alcoholically, like from the jump, right?
And then throughout high school, like self-knowledge told me that I could
not drink successfully. Like I knew I could not drink like other people drink
because I ended up throwing up everywhere and passing out in a ditch.
So I just kind of went to other goods, you know, like other stuff, other
favorite or party favors that had the same effects, but I could still end up
passed out in a ditch, but I wasn't in my own grow up.
Somehow made it through high school and I found like I found myself a drug
court again, like a year after high school this time as a felon and as an
adult. So like much more serious consequences. And it was, it was there
that I started to identify a little bit, right? Like my ears, like I was a little
bit older, a little bit wiser, but I still was like, I'm not ready for this,
you know, but I had like, I was thinking back on it earlier. I was in a meeting
where like at 20 years old, I was like, man, I like, I should go to these
meetings, but like my story's not good enough yet, right? Like how much ego,
like, I was like, thing is like, if anything's a telltale sign of being an
alcoholic, it's that like trying to one up somebody, right? And over the next
couple of years at, it's just like a rinse wash repeat cycle of partying,
finding some sort of get rich, quick scheme, making, you know, quick money,
spending it just as quick. It wasn't until my later years, like that I
started drinking daily, you know, God gave me the story that I wanted the
better story. And as most stories start, I met this girl, you know, I thought I
met the love of my life. She thought she met an easy rebound. We were both wrong.
And that just started a whole whirlwind of craziness. You know, she came down to
Florida, like a lot of people do for treatment. She got over her DOC, but then
kind of just like replace it with drinking. And I'm really good at that too.
If I can't get what I want, I'll just replace it. You know, if I can't find the
booze, if I can't find whatever party favor I want, like I'll find something
because I'm restless, irritable, and discontent, unless I find some sort of
like ease and comfort, right? And so I met, you know, I started seeing this
girl and like one day she was supposed to come over, but then she bailed on me
and I had a 12-pack Eagle Ring. And I was like, well, if this solves all her
problems, maybe it'll solve all my problems. And that's when daily drinking
starts. Because like leading up to this, it was just like a weekend warrior type
deal. Now it's just like, first it starts off with one tall boy, you know, it was a
long day at work. And then it was a four rack because it was a Thursday and it's
Friday Eve, you know? And then it's two four racks because it's Tuesday and it
was, you know, a good day at work or whatever, you know? And then I'm at this
point where I'm drinking like two to three four racks of like Natty, Ice,
Bush, like, you know, like the cheap stuff, you know, because I'm balling on a
budget. And I'm like, man, only an alcoholic would drink like this. So I
started drinking Twisted Tea because I like the taste of Arnold Palmer. And I'll
let you guys in on a little secret here. Never bought Arnold Palmer a day in my
life to just sip at a, you know, sip on at home, right? And that, but that's just
the insanity of it, right? Like, I'm sure, like, if you can relate to justifying
your drinking or whatever it is that you do, you know, well, you know, I'm right
there with you. I couldn't do, I'm guilty of that. So that goes on for the better
part of a year, year and a half. And then I never had my own prescription for
medications. I didn't know you were supposed to read the bottle and, you know,
not drink. I thought the prescription you're supposed to drink on it. Well,
this combination landed me in the hospital. And it was in that experience
that I knew the next girl that I was dating or at the time, we were like, all
right, we got to quit, you know, like, you should quit drinking. I was like,
yeah, yeah, this is bad. So I started replacing it with XYZ. The problem is
that's not giving me the ease and comfort that I once found by taking a
couple of drinks, you know? Now I'm getting a really dark place. Like, you
know, it really, it was like a two or three month period. And it just like, it
was like my, just everything just started deteriorating so quick. My
relationships, you know, I'm on edge all the time, starting our even starting
fights, going out with my brothers and, you know, like, they're having a sip and
I'm just like hounding down their drinks, right? Like, I'm looking at
perspiration of the drinks and just like not able to enjoy myself. Like, I'm
crawling out of my skin and it's just unbearable. And I've experienced this a
few times where, like, if I'm not drinking or doing whatever, like, it's
still all I can think about. And that's a miserable existence. And then it was
also starting to get to a point, it's like, well, what is my life with drinking?
I'm working a dead end call center job, no prospects for the future. I'm
blacking out every night watching the same Netflix show. I'm not even having
fun. And without drinking, I'm a miserable prick. And it's just not, you
know, it was just not a good experience, you know, good existence. It wasn't even
really a life. It was like, I call it, you know, just merely existing. And it
drove me to a very dark place. And it all kind of came to one day, I, my ex like
wasn't responding, my girlfriend at the time didn't respond to a text, like, I
just had this procedure done. The doctor gave me certain medications that I was
supposed to take as needed. And I saw that I needed to take the whole
prescription in like a day, day and a half. I lied about it. I revealed the lie.
You know, she calls me, she's crying. And I was just like, man, I did it again.
Like my whole life, it's just a repeating theme of Jacob doing what he wants to do.
Getting high, getting drunk and hurting those around him. Like, how can I say that
I love these people if my actions don't reflect it? Right. And, you know, coupled
with the thought of like, what is my life, you know, with drinking without
drinking, I was, you know, kind of just ready to end it all. I just I didn't
really see where I was going with it all. And it was in that thought and in
that argument where I decided I kind of had like this, I came to a turning point,
right, or a crossroads where it's like, I can either just go ahead and end it, or
I can get help. And I wanted to get help just a little bit more than I wanted to
end it. Right. And it was in that moment that I said my first genuine prayer in a
very long time. And it was just as simple as like, God help me out, dude, I can't
keep doing this. And I texted my dad the next morning or it was like three
o'clock in the morning and he showed up at my house bright and early seven
o'clock. And we went to a to this state facility that's in our area where I was
with the substances didn't really qualify for a detox or anything at that
point. Like I already kind of weaned myself off anything that needed to
detox. But I was like where I was at mentally, they said I could stay. But
most people that go to that facility don't choose to go to that facility. And
I took like one look around, I couldn't smoke cigarettes. So I was like, all
right, like, I'll sign up for your outpatient. So I got hooked up with their
outpatient and I kind of did like home treatment with my dad. You know, he's
still at this point years over has been in the treatment industry for a few years
as a therapist, and he starts taking me around to AA meetings, you know,
introducing me to people like I try to sit in the back and, you know, it's like
no winner sit in the front, you know, having me sit in the front, kind of like
showing me the way I got a sponsor right away. And in the beginning, part of like
the unmanageability, I didn't kind of manage a car, you know, I had like all
flat tires. And this was also during the day of COVID. So there are zoom meetings
like this, it's been a while since I've been on a zoom meeting. So it's kind of
cool to like go back to my roots. I've never gotten the honor privilege to
speak on one. So this is like really cool and brings me back. But yeah, so like in
the beginning, I just had, you know, it talks about and, and how it works, like
willing to go to any lengths, right. And I also kind of like tied that in with
like, in my recovery, in my sobriety, I have to tie everything that I would to
like drink or use or whatever the case may be, I have to put that same amount of
effort into my recovery. So like, every day, I was walking like, one to two,
there was like a mile and a half, almost two miles to the closest meeting hall,
waking up at like seven, or like, it was like 630 for a seven o'clock zoom
meeting, walking every day to the meeting hall, calling my sponsor every day, like
meeting other guys getting uncomfortable in my skin. And, you know, like learning
what it is, like what recovery actually is. And, and through all that experience,
like, yeah, I got a sponsor right away, started working the steps right away.
With my first step, it was kind of funny. We're at this pizza place, we're eating
pizza. He starts choking on this slice of pizza, you know, he's starting to turn
purple. I'm like, Oh, my God, am I my sponsor about to die in front of me? What's
going on here? He spits out this pizza pizza, looks right up at me. And he goes
like, Well, Jacob, I haven't hit my pizza bottom yet, and he continues eating the
pizza. And it was like in that moment where it kind of like all clicked for me,
right? That for an alcoholic like he and I will go to the bitter end, like we'll
be on the brink of death, almost die, and go right back to it unless we're willing
to do something about it. And, you know, I know this is a YPOP meeting, so I'm
going to kind of tie in everything with YPOP now because I was like a hot, I
don't know, maybe 30 days. So we're when I went to my first young people's
meeting, it was for the 772 bid for a picky paw at the time, I went to a
stranger's house, I had no idea where I was going. Like some girl was talking
about it at a meeting. She was like, Yeah, it's a great way to do service. I was
like, Oh, everyone keeps saying that I need to do service if I want to stay
sober. So I guess I should go do that. So I went to this meeting, like, it was
really awkward and uncomfortable. It's like I'm showing up to this person's
house, no idea who it is, never met them, just kind of like walk in like, Hi,
guys. And, you know, and then I got to meet some cool people though. And like
that, that first bid that I was part of was so awesome. I learned so much. Being
a part of this this bid and having no idea what I'm bidding for. I've never
been to a conference, like no idea. Like I talked to my dad, he was a part of YPOP
back in like the 80s. And he was like, Oh, Jacob, you got to do it, man. Like
it's fun. Like this is where you learn how to live like, or like live a life
outside of AA and work. Because like, my biggest fear, like, because I went like
a good 10 years knowing, it's like, man, I think I'm an alcoholic and I should be
in meetings. But it's just like, how am I going to have what am I going to do for
fun? And at the end, it's like no fun, right? But, but like, I learned how to
have fun, man, like we would go out all the time, like, go across the state of
Florida to go do random events and like road trip it. Like Nins was talking
about, like, you know, over the last couple of years, you know, riding with
him, you know, up to Jacksonville, a four or five hour drive, you know, just
chatting it up, you know, going from everything from like different
spiritual experiences, you know, different life situations, then just BS
and tell more stories. And it's just like, you know, it's such a great
experience. And, you know, and I learned how to be a part of a group and a part
of a committee and like how to have a responsibility, you know, like, I never
thought I'd be the type of guy that people would trust their money with. And
I was a treasurer for a little bit for one of our previous bids, like, to be
cool to be trusted with money, because I don't think anyone would ever trust me
with money. When I was still when I before I got sober, right. And, and just
like a lot of made a lot of really great friends along the way. And like what I
really found like just like true genuine friends, right, like I had acquaintances
all my life, like people I could talk to or like, say, Hey, what are you doing
tonight? Oh, no, I think I'm taking it easy. All right, call me next week, you
know, like only if you want to go out on a weekend type deal, right. But like
having true genuine friends that like reach out and check in on me, and
especially over this last year, just a lot of trials and tribulations. I lost
my my grandmother and my aunt both passed away within a couple months of
each other. And it was a lot of my friends from WIPA that were checking in
on me and making sure that I was good. And, you know, trying to get me out of
my funk and, and also to be a part of such a big committee, like having
responsibilities where it's just like, I have something to do, right, like I have
a responsibility and God's given me the ability to be a part of a group, and to
be able to do things for others. And it's just, you know, a lot of other great
experiences, you know, I, one of my previous roommates I've met through
WIPA, and like to be able to like live in a house where like my parents could
stop by, and I wouldn't have to take a day to clean the apartment beforehand,
you know, like having like responsible roommates and such, as well as, yeah,
just being able to go do fun stuff. And that's like the biggest thing, like, I
know this is a lot of new people here. And, you know, like the fun doesn't have
to end the party's not over, it's just getting started. And now it's like true
enjoyment and a lot of like actual fun that you get to remember the next day and
a lot of great memories along the way. And, you know, it's just well worth it,
you know, to give this way of life a fair shot, you know, and it's something that I
didn't want to do for the longest time. And it's like the greatest thing that I
never wanted to do to quote one of my friends. And, you know, like the biggest
thing is to like have a purpose in my life today. And that's to be able to be a
service to others, help others along the way. And like, I never thought I'd be the
guy that's like cheering on everyone in the beginning, like seeing all the people
with like the low amount of time, like, it's just so cool to see people like
coming to this way of life and seeing that like, there's a way out that you
don't have to keep doing things that you've been doing. And that's why I also
think it's like vitally important why I introduced myself as a recovered
alcoholic, because, you know, some of you all may still be crawling in your skin,
like it's not going to be like that forever. And with all that being said, my
time's wrapping up, I'm starting to lose my train of thought. So that's all I got
to say about that. Aren't you glad?