Until You Have This Experience, Higher Power Is Just a Three-Letter Word That Rhymes with Odd — Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

In this second session of a spiritual retreat, a long-sober Marine veteran and well-known AA speaker picks up where he left off, weaving together personal war stories, encounters with legendary AA figures, and a deepening exploration of how the stories we tell ourselves create most of our suffering. He opens with a hilarious account of how he first met Chuck C. — through Chuck's wife Elsa, who threatened Chuck with sleeping alone if he didn't invite the speaker to the Palm Springs Roundup — and describes sitting in Chuck's living room in Laguna Beach, overwhelmed by the spirituality but unable to understand a word of it until years of experience caught up.

The heart of the talk is Chuck C.'s premise that conscious separation — the perception that we are fundamentally separate from everything and everyone — is the single root of all human problems, and that conscious contact with a higher power would make it impossible to have any problems at all. He illustrates this with a stunning personal story: for 42 years he carried deep shame about losing his ability to fly during the Cuban Missile Crisis, believing his fellow pilots despised him. Then a former squadmate appeared at a meeting and told him the entire squadron had loved him and the colonel had fought to keep him. He had to go back and change his story about the past — which, he realized, was the same as changing the past itself.

From there he explores how we live almost entirely in stories about the past and future because we have no concept of how to live in the present moment. He discusses the moral law that C.S. Lewis described — an internal code we didn't put there and can never fully live up to — as evidence of something spiritual already inside us, connecting it to Bill W.'s statement that the fundamental idea of Higher Power is deep down inside of us. He closes with a candid admission about quitting smoking through sheer Marine willpower and how the resulting pride actually set him back spiritually, illustrating why Steps Six and Seven insist that Higher Power — not self-will — is the agent of change.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opens second session; mentions Chuck C. DVD and the weekend schedule
• 1:30 Story of first out-of-town speaking gig in Baltimore and meeting Wino Joe from Tyler, Texas — 'a puking marine'
• 4:00 How Chuck C.'s wife Elsa threatened Chuck into inviting the speaker to the Palm Springs Roundup; first encounter with Drop the Rock
• 6:30 Sitting in Chuck's living room at 13-14 years sober, overwhelmed but unable to understand — experience had to catch up
• 8:00 Describing Higher Power to newcomers: until you have the spiritual experience, Higher Power is just a three-letter word that rhymes with odd
• 12:00 Chuck C.'s core teaching: conscious separation is the one problem that includes all problems
• 18:00 The Cherry Point story: 42 years of false shame shattered when a squadmate revealed the speaker was beloved by the squadron
• 26:00 Living in stories about the past and future because we cannot live in the present; sponsor showing a newcomer they are already happy
• 35:00 Francis Collins, C.S. Lewis, and the moral law — an internal code no one put there that points to something spiritual already inside us
• 45:00 Quitting smoking through Marine willpower and how the resulting pride actually set him back spiritually; Bill W. on perfection vs. settling for good