Told My Sponsor the Big Book Needed Editing for Grammar and Gender 🤦 — Karen S.

About This Speaker Tape

Karen tells the story of a 30-year drinking career that began unusually late — at age 27, the day she walked out of a Polish Catholic convent in Atchison, Kansas, with $200, no checking account, and no driver's license. She was raised in fear: fear of her father's disapproval, fear of sin, fear of hell. The convent was her first drug — four hours a day on her knees, terrified of being bad. When she left, she decided to catch up with her classmates and learned to drink, smoke, and live without a Higher Power. She earned a bachelor's, a master's, and started a doctorate at Northwestern while drinking only on weekends.

Her drinking escalated after she married, moved to Atlanta, and had her only son at 36. She describes nursing the baby with stacks of beer cases in the nursery and dozing off while he slid off her lap. When her son was 16 he was arrested for drugs; she and her husband put him in Ridgeview twice before telling him to leave. Days after the baby — her first grandchild — was born, her husband asked for a divorce; she later learned through her son that he is gay. Her drinking exploded, a golden retriever died, and she landed in the Kennestone psych ward suicidal.

She put the bottle down a year and a half before her first meeting, spending divorce money recklessly as a "raging sober drunk." On September 21, 2001, spite drove her to an AA meeting with a woman she didn't even like. She picked up her one and only white chip. Her first sponsor Kathy M. at the 12 Step Sisters in Conyers put her to work making coffee and walked her through the steps. Karen — an academic and editor — tried to fix the grammar in the Big Book and later rewrote the entire 12 and 12 longhand in two columns to quiet her mind.

At 67 she met Bob on eHarmony and remarried; her current sponsor Lynn coached her through becoming a sober wife. This past June her 22-year-old stepson Victor, a Georgia Southern senior with a DUI and a drug felony, was found dead at the bottom of an apartment swimming pool. She and Bob channeled the grief into joining the Civil Air Patrol. Today she kayaks, does yoga, went on a mission trip to the Middle East, serves as GSR, and says sobriety is giving her everything alcohol promised.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Tim opens the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers Meeting at the NABA Club and reads from page 29 of the Big Book
• 2:00 Karen introduces herself; drank from 27 to 57, sobriety date September 21, 2001, one white chip
• 6:30 Polish Catholic childhood in Chicago; father's anger, fear of abandonment, 'be good or get dad mad'
• 12:00 Joins the convent at 20 in Atchison, Kansas — four hours of prayer a day as her first drug
• 18:00 Leaves convent at 27 with $200; buys makeup, a dress, a typewriter; learns to drink and smoke on a Greyhound to Florida
• 26:00 Marries, moves to Atlanta, has her only son at 36; nurses him with stacks of beer beside the rocker
• 33:00 Son arrested for drugs at 16, two Ridgeview admissions, told to leave; grandchild born days before husband asks for divorce
• 40:00 Kennestone psych ward, a year and a half as a 'raging sober drunk,' first meeting in Conyers out of spite
• 48:00 First sponsor Kathy M. at 12 Step Sisters; Karen tries to edit the Big Book and later rewrites the 12 and 12 in two columns
• 56:00 Remarries Bob at 67; stepson Victor's death in June; joining Civil Air Patrol to channel grief; service as GSR