Three DUIs in Cobb County and the Ultimatum That Finally Stuck – David H.

and tonight's speaker is david h he comes to us from the 12 step titans group he just celebrated six years he brings so much laughter to my life but i have also been able to show up to situations as a better person because of his presence in my life because the principles of the program have really seeped into who he is so here is david and he's wow um thanks a phenomenal introduction i wasn't sure you were talking about i'm david hubbard and i am an alcoholic those four words today mean so much to me because i take pride in being an alcoholic today my sobriety date january 15 2020 just kind of how it was you know i'm talking about my sobriety date january 15 2020 just kind of how it was you know i'm talking about i'm talking about my sobriety date january 15 2020 just kind of how it was you know i'm talking about only child and i feel i think i was an alcoholic before i took my first drink black sheep if anything got took and broken whatever i did it never been comfortable in my own skin just always been an artist and they're you know everybody else went home had a pretty nothing really out of the ordinary in my childhood to complain about you know my father wasn't there i've probably met him nine times in 42 years uh that would play out later on in my life because um i had my first drink at 14 started out with another extracurricular activity that throw your body warm feeling that i ate natty natty like that combined it with mom had gotten married there was my where you know i didn't get along with him and because like i said i was an alcoholic before my first drink um and everything was about me like it was a lot of work and it was a lot of work and it was a lot of work and it was a lot of if it didn't satisfy david then it didn't work and you know during 14 and just taking off to me getting my license now i'm like looking i look 21 so in the small town stuff this gas station that was my drink at that you know that point like i was 16 wasn't legally able to buy it but that quickly you know you give me an inch i would take a mile so it got to the point where you know the guy knew me when i walked out of the gas station and i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna walk in like i can drink i know where to buy it and going to my grandmother's house she's not an alcoholic she had a bottle you know snuck it out emptied a night quill bottle gonna feel good but that was the longest you know there's nothing worse than knowing you can get your fix but you can't get your fix you know what i mean you know freshman high school i'm having this so needless to say that was the longest ride i got my spike bottle with my absolute my freshman year was um i'll never forget my son and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife and my wife we i don't know if i had my head down i don't know and with that it still didn't hit like i had to go to summer school whatever um that happened but i graduated it's like you're like you're not a dummy you know i didn't raise no i didn't raise them you might be lazy but you're gonna get a diploma anything above and beyond that by the skin of my teeth and you know now i don't have anything now all you know my mom do you know i have anything now all you know my mom she wasn't a gentleman and the other students She works in Marietta, so she leaves before day in the morning, you know, to myself. I turned 21. Now I can buy it legally. Hard jobs. My mom was just like me. They drunk. You know, like I did some wild things. Indication that I was an alcoholic. I got a job at a fucking, getting a job in the warehouse. And PlayStation 2s that just came out. And I get it. You know, at that time, you know, money had got tight. So I played a brand new PlayStation 2, right? PlayStation 2 translated into a 12-pack of Heineken. The only thing I remember was looking in the car. I didn't think about, like, the blood clot that I had in my brain. So I got life flown, flighted, flown. I had to stay for three days to let the blood clot. And I remember three commercials. It was two Army commercials. And the day that I got out, got back to my mom's house, there were two visitors. The first one was the Newton County Chair. Y'all know the story. So, you know. The Newton County Chair brings me my citations. One being a DUI. And the next one was, you know, wasting my life away. So I'm not smart. I wasn't smart enough to join the Navy. You know, that was my way out. Like, it was going to be a geographical change. And I got stationed in California. Needless to say, you know, my life was going. You know, wherever I went, I did. I didn't get any. And. You know, first DUI was in Cobb County. All my legal trouble was in Cobb County. That's how smart I am. You know, count on being blessed that lowly people in Cobb County. It had taken off. Like, I'm really bouncing off of life. I was smart enough to find a couple of nice things. Needless to say, like, by the third DUI, I got the inevitable ultimatum. The one who's always here. You're dependable. You know, you take my crap. You know. You don't make me try to do better than I'm doing, you know. And that's my first meeting, which was at Triangle. Here has been the Triangle. Favorite place. You got to pass it before. But. Yeah, man. I don't care what y'all been talking about in there. I ain't got no more. I'm in here. Like, I sat down, you know, did the preliminary stuff. Because my folks got my vodka. Went back in the meeting. I still don't care what I need. And. And. And. And. And. And. So. I'm finna go home and get it right. And. And. You know. Y'all can't drink. Wham. Boo-hoo. You know, that, that pattern continues. But. The deal, the compromise was, you know, you go in this thing. You, you, you learn how to. I thought I was just going to learn how to drink. And not have any consequences. Spun through with 19. And I'm looking at, I'm looking at this young man, like, bro. How you going to tell me? So needless to say, the group that. Well, my first home group. You know, I did a 30, 60, 90-day dance until I heard, oh, David, you're doing great. I think you can start back drinking again. The compromise was I could drink a six-pack of Heineken a weekend. I'm still at it. More than drinking than to maintain, you know, I didn't have to go to a bar to be drunk. I didn't have to go to a celebration to be drunk. I didn't even go to, at this point, I didn't even go to family functions because I was smart enough to know that when I started drinking, I didn't know which one of my personalities was going to show, how many more shots she was going to take, you know. And that, when I came around, like, my grandmother, it was like just a disappointing look in her eye. That hurt, but it didn't stop me from drinking. If anything, it gave me more ammunition to drink more because, hey, you already mad at me. I might as well drink at you. And that was my life. I was, you know, I played the victim role. Work at 10-15, still going to lunch at noon, leave at 3-15. I was getting written up because the manager didn't like me, you know, when I got the first phone call. I mean, you ain't going to leave the afternoon of the day. My manager's a tripper, you know, because I'm a victim. Fast forward, we can't stand each other physically there, but it was such a cold. It was over. That was like a weight. I didn't go drink how I wanted to drink without. At this point, I had entered the gates of hell. I was suicidal. The same Chapman School groundhog day. I had enough rooms that, like, I picked the phone up, I called somebody, and he was like, all right, just meet me at Napa. The pandemic hadn't really taken off, but I was coming to meetings. I was at a meeting every night of the week. Like, I was doing seven days a week. I was here. Now that it had become my second home, this chair, you know, many, many nights standing, talking after the meeting and going to AHA, you know. Fast forward to March of 2020, I'm going to meetings. There was this one particular meeting. It was a Tuesday night for dinners meeting. It was a guy. I was there for like three months. I asked him to be my sponsor, and he said yes. We exchanged numbers, and he said, call me every day. He's due. I got his number. Because he didn't give me a time to call him. He was like, call me every day. I was like, now it's too early. Now he's busy, he doesn't want to talk to me. 6.30 p.m., now it's too late. I don't want to bother him. Finally, we started calling. It was, you know, just like in the meeting. Like, he was a man of few words. You know, it was like, hey, this is David. Call and check me in. Call me tomorrow. Literally, I know, you know, he was setting me up to be comfortable calling him when life started happening. In my first year of sobriety, I was almost homeless. I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep a job. I'm just all over the place. So I'm needing, I'm needing him to guide me. And it, and it, it became more comfortable. He called me. I don't know, I really don't know. I don't know. I can never drink. Never? Like, for real? Concept. And the next, in the third, in the third step, like, another turning point for me was, I was going to hell that Saturday. And I was doing all that. So it was like, no way. No way. Yeah. I was going to bust it open by that time. But in that step, he asked me, what is your characteristics of a friend? Loving, understanding, sinful. You just redefined your God. And then we got on my knees and said the third step for it. But that was it. And I had to, was that, I had to go home for an hour or no? Okay. I'm still on it. Now, I have been a liar my whole life. I embellished to the point where, like. Telling people that I had traveled all 50 states, even though I had just been to Florida, California. And, you know, like, I would just lie just to, I didn't need a rhyme or reason. By this time, I'm working with my sponsor more than, more than ever. Like, we're, we're going to, he's, he's, my life has changed. When they say, you know, people around you will see the changes where you do, that is a thousand percent accurate. It was not going to go. Baby, I'm so proud of you. You know what they're doing in there. I don't know what they're doing in there, but whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Reservation to drink was where my grandpa, my, when she goes, that'll be my house. Because I was still looking for a house. Still, like, that'll be my one. Working the fourth step was, you know, I was, you're only, you're only as sick as you are. Some stuff that me, Paul, and God was going to talk about. I was taking it with me, you know, because, like. And, um, luckily, by the time I got to the fourth step, I was ready for that to be. Because I wanted to let. I had dealt with it. Talked to this man about it. Because I know, like, I was really digging deep to get all that extra. I sit down with, with my sponsor. One, you know, and I'm. To hear me. And, you know, needless to say, my plan didn't work. Then we got to this section. Until later on. My sponsor and I, today, are very much alike. That's my, that's my brother. You're my sponsor. Don't get. We, we are, we are friends today. You know what I mean? But. Did the fourth step, fifth step. And I didn't, I didn't know that. One of the most freeing. Um. Exes. Then it got to the, uh, making amends. Make, you know, that. The, uh, the list was all. But I wasn't. I could give it up. But I couldn't. It was. Family. You know. It was. I'm sorry I missed your 50th birthday. I'm sorry. I wasn't at Christmas at you. Like, it was. So, family was. Family was easy. You know. All right, David. Do what you. Do what you know you. You supposed to. When it came down to. My ex. That was. That was. That was. I. I didn't want to really. Had you not said this. I wouldn't have said that. Like. It's a lot of crap. What was my party? Needless to say. After praying about it. Talking to my network about it. We. We broke up. But. And. You know. I had. But. A sharp knife. And free grace. I was on chaos. As much as. I remember. You know. One day. My. My brain was just going. Like I couldn't. My. It wouldn't stop. It wouldn't shut up. I had to have him. Let me numb this. Having thought. After thought. After thought. Losing my mind. Like. Where this going? Those ain't. Those ain't. I had been numb since 14. This is what normal people deal with. On a regular basis. I don't like this. He just told me to be in it. You can't go around it. Better. Like I had. Like my. My brain. Really. Some other shit to drive. Peace had come. In my life. So. You know. And still. Really. Like my life. Had taken off. Convinced. Like. It would have been caps. A lot of things. Of course. Some things. I was. Wanza. Like that. And. Like. In my. Life. I was. In the world. You know what I'm saying. You know. When the word got through. Like David. You know. When you. Give it back. Like when I came in. And that was so foreign to me. Because. All my. Friends. Were just. Kid. If he's going to be somewhere, can help, he is going to help. I'm pouring back into people, and people, believe it or not, because just because I'm not drinking, don't mean I'm not having problems. Today, it's in the day we got 1,500. I'm just never, because January 15, 2020, 60, 90, hell, still don't believe you're at it. Thank you, David.