The Sponsor Who Never Graduated High School Dismissed My Doctorate With a Thermometer Joke – To G.

Hi guys, my name is Russell Spatz. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a member of the Carl Gables Group. I haven't found necessary to have a drink since January 17th. That's what it was. I wasn't doing so well at the time. January 17th, 1981, and I'm grateful to God and to AA and to a lot of great sponsors and to people like you. It's a privilege to be here. I absolutely enjoy coming up to this group. It's a very enthusiastic group. And, you know, I was thinking the other day, I think this is like the oldest, they say it's the oldest group. Is it the oldest group? Oldest step group in Broward County. I'm thinking it's close to 62 years old. It's got to be up there with the oldest group, you know, possibly in South Florida. It's not Florida. Step group, of course. I don't want to get some guy in Jacksonville all pissed off at me. Some guy with 60 years might have a drink because I said that or something. We're going to talk about step six. I like talking about step six and seven. My problem is I always want to jump ahead to seven because seven is my favorite step because it has to do with suffering. And I like telling. And I actually like explaining to. How they're going to suffer terribly. I had to go through it. I just like to see their faces when I tell them about it. You know, but we're going to sort of try to stick on step six. Now, I'm going to try to stick to my standard script. I'll talk about step three for the first 50 minutes. That's what somebody told me. Then I do the step the last five minutes. We'll try to figure out how that's all about. We'll try to. But it's just an aiming. It's not like we're invading Iraq or something like that. It's everybody will probably be OK at the end of it. I got an email. You know, it's great about these meetings. You don't really have to. The truth is, I tried to actually prepare today. I wrote something on the computer and everything. But then when I went to get it, I accidentally erased everything. So obviously, God was looking out for you guys. I hate when guys come up. You know, don't you hate that when a guy wants to tell his story? Have you ever seen this? When a guy says, I want to tell my story and he gets up there and he's got it all written out. You know, he's going to read it to you or something like that and snatch those notes away. So I much prefer to do it this way. That way, I don't have to get involved in it. We can just see what the Holy Spirit does in this deal. And I just want. But, you know, the great thing about Alcoholics Anonymous is if you become transparent. Somebody once told me the only thing you need to do to give a good talk is be sincere. And once you learn how to fake that, you got it made. I was coming over here. I got an email. You know, I'm all plugged into all the stuff. Facebook and I got an email. You can't make you can't make this. You can't make this stuff. You cannot make this stuff up. You don't have to prepare. Just talk about your life. You know what I mean? I mean, I just tell you. That's what I like to tell our stories. Disclosing the general way. It's our stories. We all have unique stories. The problem is most of us don't even know what our stories are. I mean, I've spent 30 years trying to figure out my story is that I'm I'm close. You know what I mean? But I still got some more time. What happens is we come in here and slowly but surely we start understanding what our story is and who we are and what we are and what our deal is. And it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good thing. We're kind of confused when we come in here. But I got an email. Five minutes. We're driving over here and I get an email from somebody I barely remember. I sort of recognize the last name. It is the only thing the email says. It says you were right. It's from a gal. She says you were right. You were right. I am codependent. And I read. I recognize that this is a gal. I think I met one time or something like that. I spoke to her about her husband seven years ago. Seven years ago. Haven't spoken to her since. And she sent me an email and I said you were right. I am codependent. That's for Ben who's in the audience now. That's for all those guys who keep on telling me I don't understand. You just hang around long enough. You know what I mean? And don't get drunk. And they all come back and they say something like well you know something? You were right. It's all about getting perspective. Is it? You know you're told something. Somebody tells you years ago you got a drinking problem. You say go screw yourself. You know what I mean? And next thing you know you're in Outbox and I'm just picking up medallions. You know? And they were right. I mean we're the last ones to know. Right? The Outbox is an extreme example of self-will run right. Though he usually doesn't think so. So you know watch out when you hear people talk from the podium and they say stuff. And you say well now that guy is pretty much full of crap. You know what I mean? Because you know hey maybe I'm right. Maybe that's the deal. Maybe the fact that you're not seeing that is the one thing that's holding you back from the real deal. You know maybe you won't get the real deal. The treasure. Until you get past that deal. Maybe I'm not right. Maybe I'm not wrong. Maybe I do understand. You know? Because you know what? You know one of the things about having almost 30 years is that you have the experience. And with a man you know. I hate to say that. Well I don't hate to say it because it's the truth. You know I was a scholar. I was a guy with. You've heard the story. I told my sponsor about all my. I've got a doctorate. I told my sponsor about all my degrees on the wall. My sponsor who never graduated high school. He looked at me and said you know Russ rectal thermometers have degrees. You know what they do with those. You know? You know I'm so convinced. I've lived so much of my life on managing others and trying to control things. And trying to see ahead. And protect myself. The one thing they say we can't do in AA. Manage our own lives. You know I spent years before coming to AA trying to manage things and control things. And sort of like. You know cut the edges and figure out how to do things right. So I would get where I want to go. And probably for 20 or 25 years. And maybe still now. Trying to do the same thing. To sort of like control things and do everything by my wits. Only to wind up in the dumper. And only to finally come to the final conclusion. And I still didn't understand why. Is if I just give up and take my hands off of it. And let God control the whole deal. And submit myself to other people that are smarter than me. And just listen and follow directions. And that's what we talked about last time. Become submissive. And obedient. Words that you. You know alcoholics just love to talk about. You know right. Because our chief characteristic is defiance. We talked about that last week. If I just do that. Everything works out great. And it's not a matter of brain power. It's not about being smart. It's not a matter of being. Just knowing what to do. It's just a matter of letting go. Which is so hard for alcoholics. We're so scared and everything like that. So I want to talk. You know I am going to talk a little bit. A little bit. There's a reason why I talk. About the third step. There's a reason why I talk about God. And I'm going to. I'm going to do. Since we're on step six. I'm going to do a little bit of a review. And. But I mean. So I'm going to ask this question. It's a little question. You know. Maybe that's true. It's probably true. I'm sure it's true. Maybe every meeting. Every step meeting I do. Maybe what ends up happening. Is I spend. 50 minutes. 40 minutes. Whatever it is. I think they run in this group. About 45 minutes. Maybe that's true. Maybe I spend. 30, 40 minutes. Talking about the third step. In every meeting I do. And five minutes talking about the actual step. Maybe that's true. So. Well. The good news is. Is if that's what I do. I mean. You know. Maybe you hear me. Once a year. One time. You know like. So if I'm the only one who does that. It ain't going to kill you. Ain't no big deal. How's it going to harm you. You know. But. But. Here's my. My suggestion. I'm thinking. That. Maybe there's a reason for that. You know. Maybe. The third step. Really has to do with every single step. Maybe to the extent you do the third step. Understand the third step. And turn your life and will over to God. Has everything to do with the first step. The second step. The third step. The fourth step. The fifth step. The sixth step. Maybe every step. In the deal. Has to do. With the quality. Of your life. Of your decision. And your action. And turning yourself over. Maybe that's scriptural. Maybe that's even. Not only my opinion. Maybe that's in the big book. Somewhere. Buried somewhere in there. In the big book. Or in the twelve and twelve. Maybe this entire thing. With all the psychology about it. Everything. Maybe the whole deal. When it comes to the very end. Of the deal. When you get to the guy with the sixty. Seventy years. Who has this sobriety. You wish you had. Or some guy. Whoever. Maybe it all comes down to the fact. That. He's just. The guy who was somehow able. To turn his. Life and will. Over to the care of God. And grow in the image. And likeness. Of his creator. And want that stuff. Maybe that's what the whole. Entire thing is about. Maybe. That we so much. Don't want to go there. That we sort of have to. Sashay up to it. Vector in on it. As every step. You know. Puts us more and more. To that place. Where we don't want to go. You know. In chapter. The agnostics. It says. What is it? What is it? We have a chapter. To the agnostics. It's a check. I hear. New York might be doing. A pamphlet. For atheists. You know what I mean? Or something. Well. We already have a pamphlet. It's called. Chapter of the agnostics. You know what it says? It says. You need to get over it. You know. That kind of thinking. You need to get over it. Okay. You know. It sort of. Gently sort of. Guides us. But maybe. All these steps. Push us to that. To a greater. Real understanding. Of this third step. And what it means to us. In our life. Maybe that's what the sixth step. Is all about. Maybe that's what the third. The seventh step. Is all about. Maybe that's the. You know. I sit down. You know. I'm a Jewish kid from New York. And you know. You all know the story. I go to church. I read the Bible. I'm deacon. I'm president of the church. I mean. I've gone through a lot of changes. Since coming to AA. You can expect stuff like that. That's going to happen. If you're going to grow spiritually. You're not necessarily going my direction. You know. But you go in whatever your direction. But you know. I met my current sponsor now. He's got 55 years. He's in the audience. And. We would go out. And. We would go out. And. Eat dinner. And. Wherever we are. It doesn't matter where we are. It doesn't matter what restaurant we are. Restaurant tonight. We always pray before dinner. Now. I've got to tell you. I'm like one of these guys. I like food. You can tell by looking at me. I'm like going to dive into that food. You know what I mean. And. And many times I'll start eating. And some just say. We got. I say. Oh. That's right. And I have to be reminded. And sometimes I don't have to be reminded. But my sponsor never has to be reminded. And he always has this cute thing he says. He says. This is what he says. He says. He says. After we pray. He's like 83 years old. After we pray. He says. Okay. Now you can eat. He says. The food will taste better. Because it has that secret ingredient. Because he has that secret. You see. College graduates don't know about the secret ingredient. See. They don't teach you about the secret ingredient. In grad school. You know. Your guy's over where you work. And they're not going to teach you about the secret ingredient. A guy I met in Bible study. Who's got 55 years of age. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. He told me. I'll pay you back next Tuesday whatever we say stuff and the truth of the matter is you can talk all about God you can talk all about the 6th step, the 7th but how do you know you're really about that deal you can tell in the fruits you can see how a person acts and how he talks and what he believes you can tell by who he hangs out with you can tell by what his whole life is about you can tell basically by what you're doing how you're living, where you spend your time you can tell by that deal so what I want to do is I want to read a few things I'm saying it's about the 3rd step maybe it's about the 3rd step or God or something like that I told you the story about the guy who walked out of the meeting young kid, newcomer and he said, you're Russell and I said, yeah, and he says, you know, my sponsor says you're a good speaker, I'm listening but you talk too much about God so that happened today that happened even with Bill Wilson Bill Wilson, as you know back if you read Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers then you know how we are you know, if you're an alcoholic it says, what does it say in the 12 and 12 right here, it says we start learning about ourselves yet we come in here and you know, our real problems and it says in the 12 and 12 we know that little good can come and you know why I like reading the material you know, you may argue with my opinion and I may be wrong but these these are the things that I like to read these are the things that I like to read these are basic texts I read from the books I have a lot of people that come up and they say they disagree with me about something I say, well, you're not disagreeing with me you're disagreeing with the book Alcoholics Anonymous because what I just read you came right out of the book that's not my statement, you just don't like me because I'm reading it don't kill the messenger just be honest with yourself you don't want to do AA you don't have to do AA you don't have to do AA at all but when you drink or when you drug or when you sleep or when you even stay sober but you're miserable please don't tell somebody that AA doesn't work because you've been doing it and it doesn't work because you're miserable tell them that AA probably works fine but you've never actually done it because you didn't want to do it because you weren't willing to do it because you were defiant at least be honest with yourself about what's going on we know that little good can come to any alcoholic who joins AA unless he has first accepted his devastating weakness and all its consequences until he so humbles himself his sobriety, if any will be gone will be precarious of true happiness he will find none at all and what I understand about my devastating weakness because I understand that the drinking is but a symptom of my disease men and women drinking is unlikely to be reduced by alcohol we're restless, irritable and discontent unless we can again experience a sense of ease and comfort which comes every once by taking a few drinks I understand that we call it alcoholism but we really name it after the cure our best cure for alcoholism was I need a drink you know I didn't really I experienced drunkness a lot drunk and an alcoholic is the same as drunk and anybody else but I experienced drunk a lot because I used booze to cure what was really ailing me which was an inability to live life for any appreciable time without drinking and the problem is is when you really start experiencing alcoholism is when you stop drinking and it's three o'clock in the morning and your life is caving in and everybody looks like a worthless piece of shit and why call it in fact because nobody understands and you're lonely and all that crap that happens at three years five years ten years fifteen years whatever the hell it is and you say what's wrong with me I don't understand because I'm not drinking because you don't you're not drinking it's not the alcohol it's something called alcoholism that's why we continue to go to meetings that's why after 30 years I still go to meetings and do what I have to do because I have a chronic progressive disease that centers in my mind not my body you know and my thoughts just sort of produce toxic waste and that's just the way it is so let's so one of the problems that I learned I had and you know the problem is it's like everything else in denial I don't want to admit this stuff it's like embarrassing I don't want to admit this stuff one of the problems I have is if you're an alcoholic you're probably an acceptaholic which means you can't stand being rejected you want everybody to love you all the time it's all this this unhealthy dependency on other people places and things to make you okay because you're not okay by yourself no self-esteem whatsoever what do they say alcoholics an egomaniac an inferiority I was talking today at the dinner about how I used to drive a I used to have a new car all the time I used to have a new car all the time I said I am so excited about the fact that I drive a 2001 I mean it's a Mercedes it's a nice car it probably looks nice but I'm so excited about the fact that I drive a nine-year-old car I want to keep it until it's 20 years old okay I'm sorry because there was a time I couldn't drive a car that was more than a year old worse than that if I had a car and it had a ding in it and it cost a thousand dollars to get the ding fixed I had to get it fixed I couldn't stand driving a car that didn't look good I couldn't stand because I was all about it was for me who I was what I was and how I feel was all about how I looked and what you thought about me whatever that thing is a human being has inside them so that he can feel okay all right by himself I did not have with me it was all about superficial stuff it was all about what you thought about me and therefore I'm always worried about what you're thinking about me you imagine living in the world where you're always worried about what other people think about you and how you look and you know how people are perceiving you I mean I spend more money you know spending I spend more money than I didn't have buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't like you can possibly imagine and let me tell you something let me tell you something when you spend more money than you make you go into something called debt I learned that when I had nine years with the doctorate and all you know and you learn that stuff so so but I want to read some things about Fox and Honor and and and it may sound like I'm talking and so since everybody has this rejectaholism this acceptaholism we want to be liked sort of thing Bill Wilson had it when he first started the program the program that saved his life Towns Hospital the creator appeared to him in the hospital he's the one who said you know my lord has been so so wonderful to me you know curing me of this terrible disease that I got to keep on talking about it and telling other people he's talking about the lord he's talking about the bible he's talking about everything that's all they use he's going crazy until one guy or two guys said we don't want to hear that crap and then the only thing that ever worked for him in his entire life the thing that got him sober the only thing that worked for him as soon as two guys in AA said I don't want to hear that crap he was throwing God under the bus he was ready to throw God under the bus you think this kid is the first guy who ever said in AA you talk too much about God you're going to hear that all over AA and so Bill Wilson in Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timer goes up to Henrietta Sibling on page 159 this is right after the spiritual experience and he says the following in the early days she recalled Bill said to me Henrietta I don't think we should talk so much about religion or God now why do you think he said that this is the guy who was bragging about how God had saved him this is the guy who every came to him talking about a simple religious idea this is the guy who saw a white light and a red light and a red light and the room and the doc said hold on to it why do you think he said I don't think we should talk too much about religion or God you know why he said it somebody laughed at him somebody laughed at him you know how it is because you know how you feel when somebody criticizes you you just fold up like a wet newspaper in the rain you know you can't handle it in the early days she recalled Bill said to me Henrietta I don't think we should talk so much about religion or God I said to him I don't think we should well we're not out to please alcoholics listen if you're going to be worried about what alcoholics think about you you're going to have a lot of problems and I understand because of the nature of this disease for the first 15 years you're going to worry about what they think about you maybe the first 20 years if you're worried after 30 years you've got a real problem well we're not I mean I figured out they can't kick me out well we're not out to please the alcoholics they have been pleasing themselves all these years we are out to please God and if you don't talk about what God does in your faith in your guidance then you might as well be the rotary club or something like that because God is your only source of power finally he'd agree he agreed and that's why we have this book that's why we have God written all over the steps that's why we have chapters of the agnostics that's why we said if a mere code of morals or a better philosophy would have saved us we would have gotten better a long ago that's why we have this whole book that's what the whole book is based upon that's what the arch of freedom is based upon it's all based upon the third step so let me read some things from the book leading up to step six and you tell me you tell me whether you see a pattern here you tell me whether step six because you know something I don't know how to talk to you about any of these steps in my life in your life without talking seriously about your relationship with God and I understand we got guys here on the first step and second step they don't don't worry about it don't worry about it don't worry about it you know just throw this in the back burner I don't know what just say I don't understand this will be the I don't understand crowd you'll be the guys if you're still around seven years from now you'll send me an email Joe who's that guy Joe you were right you know okay but for you guys that are sort of like on around five or six you're sort of toying with this idea trying to figure out how important this deal is let me read a few things to you okay so you're in here for the rocket ride I hope you're just not in here because you want to get 14 years sobriety so you can be hanging in there how you doing I'm hanging in there I'm hanging in there one day at a time how many people you sponsored none they just don't want what I have you know I don't understand why nobody you know I can't find anybody to sponsor we have found much of heaven and we've been rocketing into a fourth dimension of existence of which we have not even dreamed the great fact is just this and nothing less the great fact is just this and nothing less meaning the great fact which is not only a fact but it's great now later on they talk about the tremendous fact did you know that and I've got a clue for you the tremendous fact the tremendous fact is the same as the great fact so if you're into facts and you're into AA you may want to know what the great fact is this is the great fact okay the great fact is just this and nothing less which means by the way it's nothing less it's not sort of kind of it's nothing less than this fact that we have had deep and effective spiritual experience which abruptly starts our whole attitude towards life towards our fellows and towards God's universe doesn't say higher powers universe they knew alcoholics got pissed at high it doesn't say the great great great great fruits universe it says God's universe it uses the word a lot the central fact of our lives today what fact central central not like it's off to the side somewhere you know what's the central fact of your life you want a date you want to get laid you want a new car you want money what do you think about all the time what's the central fact of your life that wasn't the central fact of their life you want what they had you got to start thinking the way they were thinking you know you want to think about cars and broads and guys and things and stuff and stuff like that you're just not thinking the way they were thinking if you think they were like you they weren't in that respect you got to read the book and understand who you're talking about the central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty they weren't sure we're sort of guessing we don't know the absolute certainty I mean they went over this stuff over and over you don't think you understood the words they were saying the absolute certainty that our creator the great light bulb you know the prune tree our creator that comes right out of the bible which is all they were reading before this our creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous he has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could not which we could never do for ourselves by the way you know what the sixth step is about it's about removing crap in us that keeps us from him and a better relation with him which we cannot do for ourselves they're talking about the sixth step stuff even before you get to the first step they're talking about it let's keep on going we in turn set the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men which seemed at first a flimsy read has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of god a new life has been given us or if you prefer a design for living that really works if what we have learned and felt seen means anything at all it means that all of us whatever our race creed or color are children of a living creator children of a creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms further on clear cut directions are given showing how we recover these are followed by 43 personal experiences each individual in the personal stories describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with god that's what this whole book is about that's what all the stories are about they're not about drunk logs the drunk log is there so you identify but in the final analysis what happens is how they established or started to establish their relationship with god that's what the whole book is about turning on now keep on going to we'll get up to how it works our description and the outcome of the book we read this at every meeting the chapter of the agnostic in our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas here's the three pertinent ideas one we're alcohol our description of the by the way our description of the alcoholic what our problem was the chapter of the agnostic which says basically what you got to get over that agnostic thing and our personal adventures before and after make clear here's the ideas one that we're alcohol we cannot manage our own lives that we're alcohol we cannot manage our own lives D that problem we probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism C that God couldn't would if he was sought being convinced we're now at step three being convinced of that that God couldn't would if he was sought later on it says selfishness then it goes on to what the real problem is selfishness self-centeredness that we think is the root of our troubles driven by a hundred forms of self-illusion self-seeking self-pity we step on the toes of fellows that retaliate so our troubles we think are basically of our own making they arise out of ourselves and the alcohol is an extreme example of self-over and right that we usually doesn't think so above everything we alcoholics must get rid of self we must or it kills us we must or it kills us we must get rid of self or it kills us next line God makes that possible these guys apparently didn't get the memo nobody gave them the memo that we shouldn't talk so much about God they didn't get the memo we must or it kills us then it says this this is the the hell and why of it first of all we had to quit quit playing God now I want you to listen to what I want you to remember this because in about a few minutes from now when I talk about step six I want you to remember what they're saying here in step three it says this is how first of all we had to quit it didn't work we had to quit playing God step six tells you how you're playing God and how not to play God how do you know let me ask them we say words we had to quit playing God right you hear those words now here I'm not asking answers I want you to think about this first of all here's the first of it you have to quit playing God now here's the question don't answer it just think about it what does that mean because if you don't know what it means you can't do it or not do it if you don't know what that means as a matter of fact you may be playing God right now in your life and not even know it did you know that you may be playing God right you may be thinking you're doing a good AA program thinking you're doing this and playing God right now in your life and not even knowing it you may see that in the sixth step later on you may say holy crap I do that all the time I'm playing God I'm playing God this is the how and why but first of all we had to quit playing God it didn't work next we decide here and after drama life God was going to be our director who's the director God so God's the director the director okay next okay we decide here and after he's the director God was going to be our director he is the principal we are his children he is the father he is the father we are his children this is the children father children thing again most good ideas are simple and this is the concept and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we pass the freedom you don't get this you don't pass the freedom you don't get that new freedom and that new happiness that they talk about in the promises that stuff doesn't happen if you don't get this deal when we sincerely took such a position all sorts of remarkable things followed we had a new employer being all powerful he provided what we needed if we kept close to him and did his work well not your work his work well something his work is when he agrees with your work his work well he will have you I'm going to give you this hint what I've learned in my life he will have you reading books and hanging out with people and doing things that you don't want to do he doesn't think like you he will have you doing crap you don't want to do don't be surprised if somebody comes into your life that suggests that you do something and you think they're stupid don't be surprised if God's plan for you looks listen as a matter of fact more than likely you'll be able to tell God's plan for you because it'll look stupid you'll say that's stupid I will never do that because you want to do what you want to do I think that has something to do with playing God because that you're directing yourself he provided what we needed if we kept close to him and performed his work well established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves and little plans and designs more and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life as we felt new power flow in we enjoyed peace of mind we discovered we faced life successfully became conscious of his presence we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, and the hereafter we were reborn then it says many of us said to our makers we understood him and then it talks about the third step and it says the third step prayer now get this the third step comes you ready? before the sixth step which means yes which means there's a reason for that there's a reason for this which means that it forms the basis of every step you're going to do after the third step is built upon after the third step is built upon how well you're doing and how you're evolving in the third step it's a necessary ingredient it makes the food taste better it makes the steps work better it makes your whole life work better it's all about that so then they give you the third step prayer and here's what they say right after the third step prayer now I want you to listen to this what I'm about to say to you and compare it to the six step test you know there's a test did you know that there was a test laid out in the 12 and 12 for whether you're doing the sixth step or not? you know the sixth step is the step that separates the men from the boys did you know that? you know there's a great separation going on in here? you know there's not only a separation between guys that have 20, 30, 40 years and people that keep on there's a great separation here the sixth step is now every step really separates the men from the boys but the sixth step definitely is a step that's the separation step people start separating out you know there's the boys that have 9, 10, 15 years sober and are still using this as a dating service or the girls that are doing that we're still looking for romance and all that and then there's something else going on in here there's another group of people that there's a whole other deal going on they're moving in different directions they're doing other things with their lives you can spot them if you look for them they're about as serious as a heart attack but they don't take themselves seriously but they take the program seriously a little more seriously they don't talk about idle chatter or crap or something they're just talking about they're just into a different deal you know they take this stuff seriously here's what it says it says after the third step now listen to this we're going to talk about the sixth step test you want to know who the men are the boys you want to know who the women are and the girls I'm going to give you the test but before I give you the test I'm going to read you the test right out of the book it's not my test I don't make the rules you know it's their test but before I read you the test this is on the third step this is what it says I want you to listen to this and then think about it when I talk about the test we thought well before taking this step the third step making sure we were ready that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to him like who are they talking about I don't know who he is but you better find it you know it says see to it that your relationship did you know later on in a vision for you it says see to it that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you it doesn't even say stay sober not even work the steps it doesn't even say get a sponsor it doesn't say any of that stuff which is all tools we use to get there says see to it that your relationship with him is right like you're a station doesn't say see to it that your relationship with your wife is right or your girlfriend or other people on AA is right it says see to it that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass through you and countless others he doesn't know who he is or you don't have a relationship with him or you don't care about what the relationship is right or you don't even know what right is or what wrong is You're going to have a problem with this deal. And here it says, we fought well before taking this step, making sure we're ready, ready to turn, ready to at last abandon ourselves utterly to him. And utterly to him is not even abandoning yourself to him. It's like abandoning yourself utterly to him. It's like seriously giving in. It's like serious stuff, right? So then it goes on. Chapter 6. We're now up to chapter 6. We did the fourth step now. We did the inventory. Why did we do that? So psychologically we can figure ourselves out so we can be smarter and we can understand ourselves? Well, the book tells us why we did that. Everything is about him. Everything is focused on him. He is the center of our lives. He is the center of their lives. The whole thing is about him. Here's what it says in chapter 6. Anything you might learn about yourself that might be helpful and more discerning about yourself and more transparent, it might be helpful, but it's a byproduct of what we're really going at. What we're really going for is to increase our relationship with him. Here it goes. Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been... Here's what they say. We're all the way in step 5 now. It says we have been... Now you may think you're just trying to stay sober. You may think you're just trying to do your fifth step. This is what it tells you we're trying to do. We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator. Did you know that's what you were trying to do? That's what the book is all about. That's what they've been screaming at you. We've been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator and discover the obstacles in our path. That's what it's all about. Getting rid of the obstacles that block out the sunlight of the spirit. You know they talk about the sunlight of the spirit blocking that out. Then on page 75, right before they go into step 6, it says what we do before, after we take step 5, it says we thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know him better. Taking this book down from, we thank God from the bottom. Returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God. These are like directions. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know him better. If you don't know him at all or you don't want to know him or you can't thank him or you don't have some sense of who he is and what he has to do with your life, how can you do this step? How can you even start to do this step? How can you do any of the steps? You know, listen, this is just my opinion based upon the stuff I read in the book. You do whatever you want to do. You find 15 guys that say to you, you don't need the God stuff, it's all crap. Or like Bill Wilson said, I don't think we should talk so much about God. That makes sense to you, do it. There'll be at least one guy you heard in your life in Outfall Synonymous that may sound like a zealous, crazy guy, but he's saying this stuff. So later on, if it doesn't quite work for you, maybe you'll think back on this meaning. And say, well, maybe that guy was right. I'll try it this way. I'll try it with the God thing. I'll start taking it seriously. Taking this book down from the shelf, we turn to the page which contains the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals that we ask if we have omitted anything. Omitted any of that stuff. For we are building an arch for which we will walk, for we are building an archway, remember the archway, through which we will walk a free man at last. Remember what the archway is about? It's about not playing God. It's about not playing God. It's about he's the director. We're building that. Are we building it properly? Is that solid? You know, Dr. Bob said, if you're an atheist, agnostic, or have any other intellectual pride that keeps you from getting this program, I feel sorry for you. Your heavenly father will never let you down. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skipped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand? Are we trying to do it our way? Are we trying to water this thing down? The archway is going to fall. If we can answer to our sin, to our satisfaction, then we look at step six. We can look at step six. Then we can look at step six. I mean, do you think step three has anything to do with this? Think step three, or your relationship with God, or you're wanting to have a relationship with God. Do you think it has anything to do with your ability to do step six? We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are you now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have to do? All the things which we have to do. All the things which we have to do. All the things which we have to do. All the things which we have to do. All the things which we have to do. Admitted or objectionable. Can he now take every one? This has nothing to do with you removing anything, or you doing anything. Let's go to the 12 and 12. Let's go to the test. Step six in the 12 and 12. This is the step that separates the men from the boys. This is the step. So you guys got a 12 and 12? Get one. This is conference approved material. this is the step that separates the member and the boy so declares a well loved clergyman whoa they didn't get the memo we're spiritual we're not religious we don't talk to clergymen forget all that stuff in the book that says we encourage church membership forget that stuff in the family afterwards where it says the family would do well to join a congregation they'll do well as long as they don't argue forget the stuff they talk about religion and clergymen forget the stuff where it says we lose all prejudice even against organized religion we see that these people found a purpose we used to dissect them and everything you go with your AA buddies who say I don't want to hear about that God stuff that's a bunch of crap because they got the program down forget about what they say in the 12 and 12 in the big book this ain't the program the program is what these guys who are hanging around the A room smoking and talking about chicks say the cool guys with the nice cars that don't have the dings in them this is the step that separates the men from the boys so declares a well loved clergyman who happens to be one of AA's greatest friends he goes on to explain here's the test I didn't make this test up that any person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try repeatedly step 6 on all his faults without any doubt any reservations whatsoever you ready has indeed come a long way spiritually and is therefore entitled to be called you know what you're entitled to be called well how are you supposed to turn your life over to him utterly right here's what you're entitled to be called here's the test a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own creator so you can tell me that they're not talking about a deity that they're talking about a doorknob that god can be a doorknob as long as you're willing to understand if you want to twist these words to mean anything you think it means because you're scared of them and you don't want to do the program as it's written down then just say well my god's a doorknob but follow up at least and say to be consistent that you were created by a doorknob at least be consistent you know my god is you know like the tree okay you were created by an elm you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know let's keep on going so step six we're entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character as age way of stating the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning of this lifetime job an attitude now here's the part where and i'm going to finish this up got about three minutes i can do it they talk about what our attitude should be what are we shooting for and it says there it says we're going to be shooting for and it says It says, therefore it seems plain that a few of us can quickly or easily become ready to aim at spiritual and moral perfection. It's hard to aim at spiritual and moral perfection. What does that mean? I don't even know what perfection looks like. You know what perfection does? It scares me. How about you? I don't like perfect people. I want to shoot perfect people. I hate perfect people. I hate perfect people. Who do they think they are? They think they're perfect. You know, I don't like perfect people. I don't want to hang around perfect people. Worthless slugs. That's what I like. You know what I mean? That's why I like you guys. You know what I mean? No, really. No, I love you guys. I don't love you because you're perfect. I love you because you're crazy. Because you're nuts. Because you're imperfect. Because you're just like me. That's why I like hanging around you. I hate perfect people. I hate hanging around perfect people. Therefore, it seems plain that a few of us can quickly or readily become easy to aim at spiritual and moral perfection. Aim at it, it's impossible for me to hang out with it. I can't even look at it. Well, what kind of shot do I have on this deal? If the whole point is about trying to get trying to get morally and spiritually perfect, but to make sure that I don't hang around with anybody who is actually trying to get there. It seems that plain that a few of us can quickly or readily become ready to aim at spiritual and moral perfection. We want to settle for only as much perfection that will get us a fine life. Isn't that what we want to do? I'm a lawyer, I know about settling. Let's settle the case. We don't have to go to trial, but let's just settle the case. I'll compromise. You know what I mean? I won't drink and I won't drug, you know, but I'll gamble. I won't drink or I won't drug, I won't gamble, but I'll cheat on my wife. I won't drink, I won't drug, I won't gamble. I won't cheat on my wife, but I'll watch porn. I won't drink, I won't drug, I won't gamble, I won't cheat on my wife, I won't watch porn. But you know, I'll gossip about people beyond their back. Let's just sort of, let's settle. You know, so that I'm good enough, I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect, you know what I mean? What did you, get off my back! You know, I'm 20 years. Let's just settle. And here's how we're gonna settle. We're gonna settle for almost as much perfection as will get us fine life, according to our various and sundry ideas will get us fine. So here's the deal. Who's setting the standard? Who's setting the standard of perfection in here? If that's the way it is. Well, I am. I'm playing God. I'm playing God, because that's not God's standard. You know what's God's standard? Perfect. Perfect. So the difference between the boys and the men, I hate to clue you in on this, the difference between the boys and the men is the difference between striving for a self-determined objective, what you think perfection is, what you think is good enough, and for the perfect objective, which is of God. So if you don't think step three, or God, or relationship with God, or knowing who He, what He is, what righteousness is, and what that all means, if you don't think it has anything to do with the sixth step, you don't understand what these people are talking about. Now, how do you figure that out? I haven't figured it out yet. I just hang around with God. Where did I meet John? In a Bible study. Does that mean you have to go to a Bible study? No, that's where I met him. But I hang around guys. I hang around. What happened to you? Is the same thing that happened to you happen to me? For some of you? I got a sponsor. I hung around these people. They were nine years, ten years, fifteen years, twenty years down the road. They talked differently. They acted differently. They behaved differently. They behaved differently. Did you find that what you wanted to do is you wanted to be like them? Is that what you found? Did you find you wanted to be like them? You wanted to be like your sponsor? You wanted to be like that guy or that gal you saw? What does it say? If you want, we have, and you're willing to put in any way to get it, then you're ready to take certain steps. Did you get a we together? Do you have a group of people in your life that seem a little farther down the road? They're not God. They're not perfect. But in your mind, they're setting a standard that isn't your standard. They act differently than you. They talk differently than you. You wish you could have a little bit about what they have, even though you may not understand what they have. You're setting your sights on them. You're maybe going where they're going to the meetings where they're going, where they're speaking, where they're talking. You're asking their advice on things. You know what I mean? So all of a sudden, so all of a sudden, you're taking, your eyes are off, and maybe they have a relationship with God. Maybe they have a stronger relationship with God. Maybe you don't know what God looks like, but it probably looks something close to what they think he is and what he's going on in their lives than what's going on in your life. Aren't you then all of a sudden, not, and all of a sudden, you're not playing God anymore. It goes into the submission thing. All of a sudden, you're setting your sights on somebody else that you think is closer, has a better relationship with God, and you're trying to, you may not know what God looks like or what perfection looks like, but you know what John looks like. You know what Mary looks like. You know how she acts. You listen to what she says. All of a sudden, it's 20 years down the road, she's passed away, and you're her. And you're talking to other people. And that's how this thing works, this six step works, you know? But you have to have a desire. Isn't that about the same? So you gotta have an attitude where you see that, where you don't wanna be your own God, where you don't wanna set your own standards, where you don't wanna sit around and say, I'm gonna do it my way, where you are looking at other people, and you're looking at other stuff in this thing, and you're trying to move forward. Because you wanna, no matter where you are, I'm that way, got almost 30 years. I'm still looking at men down the road ahead of me. Thank God there are men ahead of me that I can look at them and I can change. Because I got all sorts of defects and stuff still going on. You know, I could sit there and say, well, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I'm self supporting, I could do that list of all the great things that are going on in my life and the things I'm doing. But you wanna know something, somehow, someway, when it comes right down to it, I only seem to start focusing in on things I'm not doing. On things I'm not doing. You know, and believe me, my sponsor has a way of letting me know. He has a way of letting me know, you know? So, thank you very much for your attention.