The Original Manuscript Said Directions, Not Suggestions – Rob M.

Everybody, my name is Rob Mason. I'm an alcoholic. By the grace of God, the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Program of Recovery I found in this book. I've not found it necessary to take a drink since the 7th of July, 1988. For that, I am extremely grateful. It is wonderful to be here again at Central Group. We are in our sixth week of a ten-week big book workshop. And today, we're going to have some fun because we're going to get into the meat of the Program of Recovery in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Hand me something to prop this up with, would you? See, my book's falling apart. See, this is what happens if you study the book a lot. It looks like this. And so, because this is so sloped, if I don't hold on to it like this or find something to prop this up, it's all going to go onto the floor. So, what's up? Anyway, let's start with another moment of silence and a prayer I like to use for these workshops. So, if you'll all join me in a moment of silence. Lord, help me to set aside everything I think I know about you, everything I think I know about myself, everything I think I know about my own recovery, everything I think I know about my fellows. All for a new experience in you, Lord. A new experience in myself, a new experience in my fellows, and a much needed new experience in my own recovery. Amen. All right. Thank you. That'll work. Thank you, Kathy. Look at that. See, you can use the big book for other things other than just reading. All right. And I know that from experience. Mine held up the end of my sofa for many years before I actually opened it and looked into it. All right. We're on page 58 today. That's where we're going to start. And I want to say a few words here for those of you who've sat through the first, I bored through the first five weeks of this workshop. It's important for the new people, and maybe those of you who've been around here for a while, say, yeah, yeah, yeah, the first 60 pages, the first two steps. Yeah, yeah, we get all that. But I try to remember what it was like when I was new, you know, when I was brand new, and I didn't understand the nature of my illness, and I didn't understand the nature of my spiritual malady. I didn't understand the solution that's found in the book. And it was very important to me. When I finally got around here and got a good sponsor who led me through this book to understand the foundation that we were building in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's going to talk about that here on page 58, which we're going to get to in a minute. Why the first four chapters and the doctor's opinion are so important. Why that information in there is so vital, especially for the new people. So, so far, you'll remember back to the first week, those of you who've been here consecutively, we talked about the first four chapters. We talked about the first four chapters. We talked about the first four chapters. We talked about the first four chapters. We talked about some goals of the big book. And the first goal of the big book, on the handout I gave out, was to understand what is the problem. What is our problem in alcoholism? We've already talked about that. We've talked about that for the last five weeks. What our problem is. The idea that we have a lack of power because we have an allergy and an obsession. And we began talking last week about the third part of our illness, which is this idea that we have this spiritual malady. We suffer from a physical illness. Craving for alcohol. We suffer from an obsession of the mind. And we suffer from a spiritual malady. We also talked about, especially in chapter two and last week, the idea that if lack of power is our problem, then our solution is power. Right? Our solution is finding a power greater than ourselves, which through a spiritual experience is going to remove my obsession to drink and enable me to become happily and usefully whole. Okay? So, Bill Wilson has spent, 58 pages so far, to convince us of those two ideas. And now we come to the main purpose of the book. Okay? Which is to show us the precise directions on how to remove those things that are blocking us off from the sunlight of the spirit so we can have a spiritual experience and be restored to sanity or to have that obsession removed. Now, I will tell you that, Bill, a little bit of history on this chapter. For those of you who are not familiar with the history of the writing of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill was very apprehensive about writing chapter five of our book. Remember that up until this time, our book through the first four chapters was written by what we would call group conscience. Okay? He would recite to our first general service secretary. Her name was Ruth Hawk at a place called Honors Dealers in New Jersey, which was a business owned by his right-hand man in New York, a guy by the name of Hank Parkhurst. Okay? And he would recite, and Ruth would type, and when they got done, they would take the copies, and they would send one to the group in New York, and they would send one to the group in Akron, and they would make red marks and highlights and changes, and then they'd send them back, and they would rewrite it. And up through chapter four, that's how the book was being written. Okay? And the reason Bill was very apprehensive is because he knew that he'd done enough window dressing. Okay? He'd done enough pre-work. He'd done enough ground laying that the time had now come, to actually write the program of recovery, exactly how to work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that a hundred of them had followed successfully up to this point. And they had had so much trouble through the first four chapters. Okay? Writing the book. I mean, just imagine trying to get a hundred self-will run riot alcoholics to agree on anything. Okay? I mean, I'll just throw out one idea one of these days and see if I can get all of us to agree on it. Okay? So he'd had a lot of trouble, and Bill would later say, that he felt very inadequate to try to write down this program. He knew for alcoholics, it would have to be clear. It would have to be concise. It would have to eliminate any loopholes that might exist through which the rationalizing alcoholic might squirm out. So he was thinking of us. Okay? And he looked at the six-step program that they were working up until that time, which we're going to read a little bit later. Okay? Remember that our program, the 12 steps that we have today, came from the original six-step program of the Oxford groups. And Bill thought, as he looked at them, that perhaps they should be broken down into smaller pieces that would be easier to digest for alcoholics. But he didn't know what that would look like. And so he tried several times. He just couldn't seem to get started. And one night in November of 1938, he was lying in bed. He was actually taken ill during this time. And he was sitting at his desk trying to write, and he couldn't get started. He was sick. He wasn't feeling well. So he laid down on the bed to rest, and he fell asleep. And he fell into what he would later call a lucid sleep, where he was just sort of dreaming, but semi-conscious. And he said it was almost as if all of a sudden, all of the ideas consolidated in his mind for the first time. And it was like he just woke up suddenly. And he walked over to the desk, and he grabbed the pencil, and he began to write. And he said it was almost as if the pencil had a mind of its own as it raced across the page that night. And in about 30 minutes, he had written, what we now call page 58 through 60, what we commonly refer to as how it works, that we read at nearly every meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. And Bill said that it was as if he knew God had spoken to him somehow through that night. And when he got done, he numbered the steps. And what he found was that the six steps had now become 12 steps. And he didn't know why, but he likened it to the 12 apostles. 12 apostles, 12 steps. And he somehow thought that there was some significance behind that. And so he went downstairs to show the new 12 steps to his wife, Lois. And there was a knock at the door. And there was an early AA member back in those days in New York, a guy by the name of Howard. And Howard had come over. In those days, you've got to understand, they knew Bill was writing the book, so they would come over and check up on him. You know what I mean? They wanted to see what he was writing, make sure he was staying on track. And so this particular night, Howard happened to come by to see Bill. And Bill showed him the new how it works with the new 12, 12 steps. And Howard hated it, right? I mean, he was doing fine with six steps. He says, you know, what do we need 12 steps for? I mean, I can sort of understand. I mean, if I came in tomorrow and they had 24 steps instead of 12 steps, I'd be a little upset, you know? But so they started arguing back and forth. And finally, Lois came in and said, listen, you guys stop arguing. And Bill started to explain to him why he thought that the steps needed to be broken down into smaller pieces. And eventually, Howard began to see Bill's rationale, began to make sense to him. So they decided, that they were going to take the new 12 steps and this portion that Bill had written, and they were going to take it to the group on the next day. Now, you'll remember I said that they had had trouble through the first four chapters, right? Okay. Well, when they brought it and presented the new 12 steps in this portion of the book that we read at every meeting to the group, let me tell you something. All hell broke loose, okay? This two and a half pages that we read in the meetings not only almost destroyed the book project, it almost destroyed, destroyed the entire fellowship. A lot of people don't know that. The part that we read in every meeting was rewritten 44 times before it went into the final version for the first edition of the first printing of the book Alcoholics Anonymous. There were a lot of arguments. There were different sects that wanted different things. For example, there was a group that believed that we ought to take the must out of the book. You remember, all through the first four chapters, you must do this, and you have to do that, and this is required of you. They said, Bill, don't say that. Alcoholics don't like to be told what to do. So instead of saying you must do this, say here's what we think you ought to do. And instead of saying here are the directions you should follow, say here are some suggestions because alcoholics don't like directions, Bill. And they said, listen, some of the words you use in the steps like making complete amends to people, right? And asking God to remove all your defects of character. That sounds a little bit too much like the four, the four absolutes of the Oxford groups, okay? And some of you may not know that the Oxford groups, which our program came from, not only had a six-step program, but they also had what they called the four absolutes, okay? And in some groups in Akron, Ohio, there was a gentleman from Akron here, they still have the four absolutes on the wall in some of the meeting rooms in Akron, okay? And the four absolutes were absolute honesty, absolute purity, absolute unselfishness, and absolute love. Those were the four absolutes. And everything that they did in the Oxford groups, they would have to run through that filter of is it absolutely honest, is it absolutely unselfish, etc., etc., okay? And the reason the four absolutes did not make their way into Alcoholics Anonymous, incidentally, is because alcoholics by our nature are absolutists, right? We are all or nothing people, okay? And who can live up to absolute anything, right? Other than being absolute drunks, right? Okay? And so what Bill's experience was, what their experience in the early days was, when you propose this to an alcoholic, these four absolutes, they would soon find that they couldn't measure up, and then they would quit, right? So they left the four absolutes out, and thank God they did, okay? Thank God they did, because I'm that type, right? I have a certain flair for if I can't do it perfectly, screw it, you know what I mean? That's just how I act, okay? So, they also said to Bill, instead of saying, you should do this and you must do that, why don't you say, here's what we did, right? And you'll still make your point, but you might attract more people to the program. You might not put people off. But Bill, because he's an alcoholic just like me, he stood by everything he wrote. He said, listen, he said, you don't understand. These aren't my words. These words came after prayer and meditation. These are God's words, right? And they said, Bill, we don't care whose words they are. It's our book. And you're going to change. He said, no, I'm not. And they said, yes, you are. And then the fight was on, right? So, they fought for a couple of days and eventually Bill got so mad that he actually got up and he said, you know what? Write your own damn book. I quit, right? He got up and he left. I bet that surprised him, right? So, he went home to cool off and they were cooling off and, you know, trying to do their thing. And Bill realized that if he was ever going to get the book written, he was going to have to make some compromises, right? So, he went back to the group and he said, all right. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what. I'll make the changes that you want. But if I'm going to make the changes, then you need to do something for me. They said, okay, Bill. You've been reasonable. What is it that you want? He said, look, I've been arguing with you through the first four chapters. Now, I'm arguing with you through chapter five. He said, if you want me to write the book, then you give me the authority to write the book. If you don't want to give me the authority to write the book, then you write the book, right? Now, they didn't want to give Bill the authority to write the book. But they didn't want to write the book. They didn't want to write the book either. So, they reluctantly agreed to give Bill the final say on what went in the book. So, from page 60 on through the rest of the book, Bill begins to write solo. The first 100 members still had input on what went into the book. But Bill had the final say. Now, why is that important? Because this portion that we read in the meetings, he made the changes that they had asked for. We'll read the original version here in about another 20 minutes. Okay? How he intended it to be. Okay? And you'll notice some distinct differences. Okay? But he made the changes. But what those early members didn't understand was that Bill was cunning, baffling, and powerful too. Okay? So, he made the changes in these two and a half pages. But when he gets to page 60 and he begins writing solo again, guess what he's going to do? He's going to put the must and the directions right back in the book. Right? So, that's why these two and a half pages that we read at the beginning of the meeting are a little bit different the way they sound than the rest of the book. Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? So, after laying the groundwork through the first four chapters, they begin chapter five by telling us who is going to make it and who is not going to make it. Okay? Now, how many relapses we got in here? Okay? A lot of relapses. Okay, if you're a relapser like I am, pay very close attention. And I want to say right at the outset, and Kathy knows this is one of my pet things, okay, I understand why we read how it works at the beginning of every meeting, but here's my concern. Sometimes when you read something over and over and over and over again, you stop hearing what it's saying, don't you, right? You stop listening to what the words actually mean. It just becomes this sort of, you know, and we all know it, okay, but let's really look and see what it says here because it gives us some very valuable information. It says, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Everybody underline our path, okay? Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Notice that that's singular, right? So how many paths are there to recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous? One, right? Okay, just like in Chapter 2 it says there is a solution, right? Not there are a hundred solutions. I've heard people say there are a hundred thousand paths to recovery. That may be true, but in Alcoholics Anonymous there's one path, right? And it's the path found in this book, okay? So now let me ask you this question. If I haven't read the first four chapters, do I know what path they're talking about? I have no idea. See, they've told me the path that they've taken through the first four chapters. So when we tell a news story, we don't know what path they're talking about. Open to Chapter 5 and do what it says. And he says, really, have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path? I'm going, what path? What the hell are they talking about here? I don't have any idea what path they're talking about, okay? That's what they've been describing through the first four chapters. And then he's going to reiterate that in the next sentence. He says, those who do not recover, listen closely, are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to what simple program? This simple program, right? Not a simple program. Not one simple program. Not my simple program, right? To this simple program. Again, reiterating the idea that there is one simple program. Now, let's stop right there for a second. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. They asked Bill later on, Bill, if you could change one thing in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, what would it be? He said, I'd change the word rarely to never, right? I'd change the word rarely to never. Now, I don't know about anybody else in here, okay? But I have never personally seen anybody, that did everything this book said, met every condition, followed every direction, that failed. Not once. Okay? Has anybody in here seen that? Nobody. Well, I guess that says something, doesn't it? Right? See, I'm not saying that people who don't work the program in this book won't stay sober. Some of them may. What I'm saying is if you work the program in this book, you are absolutely guaranteed to stay sober. And that has been my experience working with hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of alcoholics. Right? All right. It goes on. It goes on to say, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. First time they state it is. So if I'm not capable of being honest with myself, I cannot stay sober. Right? It goes on to say, there are such unfortunates, they are not at fault. They seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands, everybody understands, demands rigorous honesty. The only demand in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It demands rigorous honesty. Second time they've told me. If I can't be honest, I can't make it. Right? Starting to see a pattern here? They're going to tell me one more time. It goes on to say, their chances are less than average. So we do have an average. Right? Our average from the forward to the second edition is of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried. 50% got sober at once and remained. That way, another 25% sobered after some relapses. And among the remainder, those who stayed with AA showed improvement. So if I'm working the program in this book, the book tells me I have a 3 out of 4 chance of staying sober permanently. Okay? And if you work the program out of this book, and I failed to say it when we went through chapter 2, I had a sponsor named Don Brown. Maybe some of you have heard him from California. Okay? And Don used to say, if you want to see how well you got this program, try to give it away. Try to give it away to other people. And if you're working out of this book, you will get a 75% or better recovery rate. And that's not a credit to me or Kathy or anybody else. It's a credit to the program of recovery. See, I don't have the power. The program has the power. You see? And I'm here to tell you, I've sponsored enough alcoholics and more. Okay? I've heard over 150 inventories. Okay? And I'm here to tell you, the people that I've worked with, I have a 75% or better recovery rate of those that took the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Okay? I don't know. Just works that way. Okay? It goes on. It goes on to say, there are those two who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Right? Third time they've told me. I wonder how important that is. Right? They told me three times in the first paragraph of how it works that I will not make it if I do not have the ability to be honest. Right? Now, what makes me willing to be honest? What makes me willing to be honest is countless vain attempts to prove I can drink like other people. What makes me willing to be honest is pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization out there in active alcoholism. That's the only thing that makes me willing to be honest. The suffering, sober, of untreated alcoholism as I sit in the rooms and I feel empty like killing myself and I don't know why. Those are the things that force a guy like me to be honest. Because I'm not an honest guy. You know, honesty is not in my nature. You know, I came here a pathological life. I mean, I would lie about stuff. I don't know if anybody else can relate to this. Stuff that it was just as easy to tell the truth about. You know? What'd you have for breakfast? I'd lie, you know? I mean, there's no reason to lie, but I'm lying about it, you know? And let me tell you, some of those defects, it took a long time for some of that stuff to go away. It took a long time for some of that stuff to go away. All right. It goes on to say, our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like once in a while. We used to be like once in a while. We used to be like once in a while. We used to be like once in a while. What happened and what we are like now. If. Everybody circle that word. That's a conditional word. Okay? And here's the first timetable we're going to get. And I know some people will tell you there's no timetables for the steps in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Okay? That is a bunch of BS. Okay? And I'll show you why right here starting on page 58. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. Let's stop right there. So if you've decided you want what we have. Okay? Now I used to think the we was all of us. Okay? I'm sitting in a meeting there saying if you've decided you want what we have. Okay? But they're not talking about the we here. They're talking about the we, the our, the us that wrote this book, the first 100 members of this book. So what did they have? Keep your finger there and turn back to page 17. Keep your finger right there on 58 and turn back to page 17. Bottom paragraph on 17. The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out upon which we can absolutely agree and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. Page 25. Middle of the page. The great fact is just this and nothing less that we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude towards life, towards our fellows, and towards God's universe. Back on page 58. So, if I've decided because I've read the first four chapters and I understand that that's the path they're talking about and if I've decided I want that, if I want a common solution, if I want a way out of alcoholism, if I want a path that's going to lead me to a spiritual experience which is going to revolutionize my whole attitude towards life, towards my fellows, and towards God's universe, if I want that, then the book says what? Then I am ready. Not go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Not wait three months. Then I am ready to take certain steps. That's it. You don't have to wait to take these steps. Right? The book is very clear. All right. And I think it's interesting it uses the term any length. We throw that around here a lot. You know, any lengths. Right? It tells me what any lengths is right here, doesn't it? If I'm willing to go to any lengths, then I'm ready to take certain steps. That is the any lengths. Okay? That is the... It's not walking five miles in the snow uphill to a meeting. Okay? That's not any lengths. Okay? Being willing to go to any lengths means I am going to follow through with the process of the 12 steps because they knew that it was going to take all of the any lengths I had to go through this process. And that was really true for me. Okay? That was really, really true for me. Okay? Now, this is what I call right here the conditions for taking the 12 steps. And before I'll agree to take somebody through the steps, I take them right here to page 58 and I ask them these questions. Do you want what they had? And by this time, the people I sponsor have read the first four chapters. Okay? And are you willing to go to any lengths to get it? Are you willing to go to make those amends to people? Are you willing to write an inventory? Are you willing to sponsor other people when you're done with this process? If they don't say yes, we don't go on. Okay? So, I hear people all the time in meetings say, well, I'm on step one. Guess what? If you can't meet these conditions right here, you're not on step one. You're on step none. Okay? You are on step none. Don't kid yourself into thinking you're on step one. Okay? Because until I can meet these conditions, I am not actively involved in any of the steps. Right? All right. Moving on. It says... Actually, I take that back. Let's talk about timetables for the steps. Keep your finger there and if you've got a fourth edition, turn to page 263. If you've got a third edition, it's on 292. 263 in the fourth edition. And I want to hit on this idea of the timetable. I want to hit on the timetables for the steps because I just got through saying that if you want what they had and you're willing to go to your links, there's nothing left to do. You're ready to take certain steps. Okay? This guy right here, you could write right there at the top of that page. His name is Earl Treat. Okay? 263 in the fourth edition. Yes, sir. I believe so. Yes. Earl Treat. Earl T. Earl Treat actually was an early member of the Akron group. He actually wrote the... the short form of the 12 traditions. Okay? They were written in the long form which appears in the back of the book and he later condensed them into the short form of the 12 traditions. He got sober in February of 1938. Okay? So a year before the book was printed. Okay? Let's see what his experience was in working the steps in 1938. Okay? Top of the page. Wednesday, everybody with me? Wednesday? Yes? Third edition is 292. Fourth edition, I believe, is 263. Is that right? Wednesday? Everybody with me? Yeah? Wednesday? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. Yeah, that's what I want. At the top, very top of the page. Oh, they might have changed to where it started. Okay. It was Dr. Bob's afternoon off? Sorry. I got an old book here. Dr. Bob's afternoon off. He had me down to the office and we spent three or four hours. Everybody with me? Three or four hours formally going through the six-step program as it was at that time. The six steps were. And it lists the six steps that they were working up until that time. Okay? Everybody see that? Okay. So that's the original six-step program that they were working in 1938 before Bill expanded it to the 12 steps that we have today. Okay? And we'll go through why they were broken down a little bit later on when we get into the steps here. But notice that it says Wednesday and Dr. Bob's afternoon off. Okay? So Dr. Bob was this guy's sponsor and he's going to talk about that in a minute. He had me down to his office and we spent three or four hours formally going through. Not going over. So I understood it better. Okay? Going through the six steps of the Oxford groups that they had at that time. Now, I don't know about anybody else. If somebody's telling you a step a year, that's all we want, don't rush through these steps, this and that, what they're really telling you is they know better than Dr. Bob. Okay? Dr. Bob worked with over 5,000 alcoholics in the 15 years he was sober before he died in 1950. Okay? And many of them were sober until the day they died. Okay? It goes on to say, Dr. Bob led me through all of these steps at the moral inventory he brought up. Some of my bad personal, personality traits or character defects such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, ill temper, sarcasm, and resentments. Now, if that's not taking someone else's inventory, I don't know what is. Right? And let me tell you something. I am grateful to my sponsor and the sponsorship that I've had that they were willing to take my inventory. Okay? Because there is a part of me that I can't see. You know? And I'll tell you, it's been recently too. You know? You know? I'll tell my sponsor about something my wife has done. You know? Something my wife has done. She's always doing stuff. You know what I mean? Just to piss me off. You know? And I'll call up my sponsor and I'll say, you're not going to believe what she did. You know? And I'll go on this long story and he'll say, just stop being an asshole. You know? Just stop being an asshole. It's real spiritual stuff we talk about. You know? He says, I'm to practice not being an asshole in my marriage. Right? He said, that's the most spiritual thing a guy like you can do. You know? It goes on to say, and you know, really, why should I take my own inventory? I mean, it's so much more fun to take yours. Isn't it? Right? Because I can see so clearly what's wrong with you. Really. You know what I mean? And I just somehow feel like I have this moral obligation to just inform you of what it is. Right? Yeah. Okay. It goes on to say, we went over these at great length. He finally asked me if I wanted these defects removed. When I said yes, we both knelt at his desk and prayed, each of us asking to have these defects taken away. This picture is still vivid. If I live to be 100, it will always stand out in my mind. I wish that every AA, it was very impressive, and I wish that every AA could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. So that's sponsorship. Right? That's what they're talking about when they talk about sponsorship. Taking somebody through the steps. Right? All right. Back on page 58. And that's really not much different than the guys that I work with. You know, I get that question a lot. Well, how do you take guys through the steps? If they follow directions, it doesn't take more than a week or two. Really. You know, I have them read the first four chapters. I ask them A, B, and C on page 60. If they say yes, we get down on our knees. We do the third step prayer. I send them home with their inventory. I give them a timeline, which we're going to talk about next week. Okay? Because if you leave it open-ended with an alcoholic, they'll never get done with it. Right? I usually tell them, you got four days. Right? Four days. Right? It shouldn't take you longer than that. Not if you're serious about it. Not if you're desperate. Right? My wife's working She's having all this trouble with her. I said, does she have the desperation of a drowning man? She said, no. I said, well, then you're wasting your time. Right? Because you've got to have the desperation, the gift of desperation around here. Right? I take them through the fourth step. They write their fourth step. We get together and do their inventory. Right? I send them home to spend an hour by themselves. They do their seven-step prayer. The next morning, they get up. They write their eight-step list. And by the time that they're done giving their inventory, the next day, they're on their ninth step. That's it. That's how I take people through the steps. And it has been successful for me. We're going to talk about why as we go through the process. Because what those early members knew that a lot of us have forgotten is if you take away that sense of ease and comfort from an alcoholic and you don't replace it with something quickly, okay, you don't replace it with a sense of ease and comfort that comes from a spiritual experience, eventually, they're going to go back to drinking. They're going to go back to the thing that gives them temporary relief from the spiritual malady that I suffer from. And you see people sitting around here taking a step a year, right, and they're just holding on to their seat and they're miserable, right? And we don't have to be miserable around here, right? And that's why these early members push these people through the steps. All right, it goes on to say, at some of these we balked, bottom of page 58, we thought we could find an easier, softer way. Let's underline that. Wow, what an important statement. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. I'm going to tell you that are new, how many people in here less than a year? Less than a year? Great. I'm going to tell you a little secret that took me a long time to find an easier, softer way. Trust me, right? And you know how I know that? Through painful experience of trying it every other way, right? Trying to do the fellowship sobriety, trying to do it out there, trying to do it on my own, trying to do it without a sponsor, trying to do it without the steps, right? And being unsuccessful. This is the easier, softer way. That's the truth, right? And it says, if you've decided you want what we have, right? Ask yourself this. Do I want what I have? Right? See, that's the question I had to ask myself. Do I want what I have? I did not want what I had, right? So I better want what they have, right? Because it's got to be better than what I have. We thought we could find an easier, softer way, but we could not. With all of the earnestness at our command, we beg of you, they beg of us, to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. It doesn't say how old those ideas are, does it? Right? They could be an idea I had last week or last month that worked for me. They could be an idea that I had about AA, right? That I see, because I'm the I know guy. Any I know people around here? I want to tell you all about what I know, right? Because I know this and I know that and I know myself, I thought, right? And I know about my experiences and I know more than you, certainly, right? I thought my sponsor was a big idiot. You know? Really? You know? He would tell me things that didn't make sense and for those of you who are new, let me tell you. Sponsors will tell you things that don't make any sense. They just don't, okay? At the time, okay? Not until much later on will they begin to make sense, right? It says, remember that we deal with alcohol cunning, baffling, powerful, without help. Wait a minute. Cunning, baffling, I flipped, this page over. Cunning, baffling, powerful, without help, it is too much for us but there is one who has all power. That one is God. Now, I'm going to stop right there for a minute, okay? Because I heard when I first got sober there was a guy at a meeting that I went to and he said, you shouldn't take these steps until you're two years sober and the reason that you shouldn't is because there's too much power in him, right? Too much power, right? Might scare you, okay? Let's read what the next line says. May you find him, when? Now. What does that mean? What does now mean? It means right now, doesn't it, right? Not in two years, not in six months, not in six weeks, not after 90 meetings, right? See, I need God and I need him now, okay? And that was my situation, okay? And thankfully for me, I got a sponsor who did not wait six months or two years but he took me through the steps. It says, half measures availed us nothing. You ever heard around here you get out of AA what you put into it? Okay, that's not what this says, is it? See, I don't get to put in half and I get half back, right? I don't, either I put it all in, either I jump all the way into AA or I get nothing, the book says, right? You see, for me, working six steps and then stopping or working nine steps and then stopping or working three steps and then stopping is insufficient, you see? I must take the entire medication, right? The entire prescription for recovery that's in this book, right? It says, we stood at the turning point, we asked his protection and care with complete abandon. Then it says something interesting, it says, here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery. Let's stop right there for a second. Okay, everybody circle that word suggested. This is something that I hear a lot. Well, this is only a suggested program. Anybody ever heard that? It's only a suggested program? Well, I want to note two things. First of all, it says, this, these are the steps we took which are a program of recovery, okay? Not part of a program of recovery, which means if I don't have the 12 steps, then I don't have a program of recovery, do I? Okay? The second thing I would note is they don't suggest anything else, do they? Right? No, they don't suggest anything else other than these 12 steps. Like the guys I sponsor, I tell them, I got 12 silver bullets. If that doesn't work on your alcoholism, I got nothing else, right? This is it. This is the program of recovery that we have in Alcoholics Anonymous. The word suggested, you know, I thought I knew what that meant until I looked it up. See, I try to use a dictionary. The word suggested actually means a subtle command, right? Or a strong recommendation, right? Anybody here a skydiver? Any skydivers in here? One skydiver over there. If you go skydiving, and I'm not a skydiver because I'm just, that's one thing, I don't like heights, right? But if you just go up in the plane, it'll take you about 15,000 feet, right? Right? And then they're going to push you out of the plane and the last thing they're going to do before they push you out is they're going to suggest that about halfway down you pull this little cord, okay? Now, you don't have to, okay? But it works much better, doesn't it, if you do, right? See? Well, our program's the same way. You don't have to work these steps, okay? But I'm here to tell you, from many, many experiences with many, many people, it works a hell of a lot better if you do, right? All right. So, then it lists the 12 steps and we're not going to go through them. I want to kind of explain just a little bit about where these steps come from and before we do that, I want to point out the first word of the first step where it says, we, right? We admitted we were powerless and I already talked about this a little bit at one of the earlier sessions but I want to point out here, I've heard people say, well, this is a we program. I don't do it by myself. We do it, right? Let me point something out to you. We have a fellowship here and we all enjoy that camaraderie and fellowship it says in chapter 2 on page 2. page 17, okay? But we are not going to write my inventory, are we? I'm going to write my inventory, right? We are not going to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I'm going to make that decision, right? We aren't going to go make my amends. I'm going to go make those amends, okay? You see, I am not part of the we. They're simply saying this is the action that we all, the first 100, the pioneers of our program, we all took this action and when we did, this is the result we got a spiritual experience, okay? For me to become a part of the we, I have to do what they did, right? I have to do what they did. But don't be fooled into thinking that you're just going to hang around with us and therefore you're going to get this, okay? You have to do it. There are certain things you have to do on your own. So step one, we know, came from Dr. Silkworth, okay? The idea, the problem, and we know that we have a two-part illness. I can't handle my drinking. I'm powerless over my alcohol. Then there's a dash and my life is unmanageable. We're going to talk about that in the second 45-minute session here. It's a two-fold admission of defeat. I can't handle life drunk, right? If I did, I'd be out there handling my drinking and I can't handle life sober. My life is unmanageable. Separate ideas, right? My drinking and my life, okay? Step two, we know, came from Dr. Carl Jung. The idea of a spiritual experience is power greater than ourselves, restoring us to some form of sanity. Step three was the first step of the Oxford groups. It was called surrender. It was called surrender. Bill changed it because he didn't think alcoholics wanted to surrender. So he changed it to made a decision. Okay? Step four in the Oxford groups was called examining your sins and Bill changed that to a searching and fearless moral inventory. Step five in the Oxford groups was called confession. Bill changed that to admitting to God to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Step six and seven, Bill added that night in 1938. They were not apart from God. They were part of the original Oxford group program. Bill didn't feel that there was enough power for alcoholics to just admit what we had done. That we had to actually ask God to remove those things that were blocking us off and thank God that he did. Thank God he added those that night. Steps eight and nine were one step in the Oxford group program. It was called restitution. Okay? Bill decided that step needed to be broken down into becoming willing to the list first and then going out and making the direct amends to other people. So, step ten, Bill also added that night in 1938. Bill thought that it was necessary for alcoholics to have some sort of daily therapeutic in his words. Some sort of daily remedial action because he knew what was going to happen was alcoholics would work these steps, have this spiritual experience and over time they would get back out in the world. They would start to get resentments because that's how we are. Right? They'd start to bang heads with people. Right? And if we didn't have some sort of daily program of recovery, eventually, we would go back to drinking. Step eleven in the Oxford group was called guidance and quiet time. Bill later changed that to be called prayer and meditation and the twelfth step, what was the sixth step in the Oxford group was called helping others and Bill expanded that idea to not only helping others but also to practicing these principles in all of our affairs. So, over on page sixty in the book, many of us exclaimed, what an order, I can't go through with it. Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain perfect adherence to these principles. What principles? The twelve steps. Right? Those are the principles they're talking about. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles, what principles? Thank you. We have set down our guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Now, he's going to sum up everything we've learned in the first sixty pages. Right here, on page sixty. He says, our description of the alcoholic. Okay? Now, what is that? That's the doctor's opinion and more about alcoholism. That's where he describes the alcoholic. The chapter to the agnostic, that's chapter four. Okay? And our personal adventures before, that's in Bill's story. That was his personal adventure before he got sober. And after, and there is a solution. Or, the first sixty pages of this book make clear three pertinent ideas. Now, only an alcoholic would take sixty pages to make clear three pertinent ideas. Right? Only an alcoholic. Right? But he spent sixty pages to make clear these three ideas. A, that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Step one, reworded. Step one, reworded. And notice it says that we could not manage our own lives. We were alcoholic, the first part of step one. Step one, A, and could not manage our own lives. Step one, B, my life is unmanageable by me. Okay? So, if my life is unmanageable by me, then I need to be I need what? I need management. Right? I need management. B, that probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. Step two, reworded. Okay? And C, that God could and would if he were sought. Also, step two, reworded. Okay? Now, how do I know that A, B, and C are the first two steps reworded? Here's how I know. Because the next sentence says, being convinced we were at step three. Being convinced of what? Being convinced of A, B, and C, we were at step three. Okay? There is nothing else to do. Okay? You don't need to write what your higher power looks like. I mean, you can. Okay? You don't need to write 50 things you're powerless over. You don't need to write a list of things that you'd like God to be. You can. There's nothing wrong with that. But the book says, if I'm convinced of A, B, and C, there's nothing left. I am at step three. Does that make sense to everybody? I want to read you something. Actually, I want to read you two things. From the 12 steps and 12 minutes. 12 traditions book. And if you don't have one, you don't have to turn there. The first one is from page 34, which goes along with this idea that there's no other work to do in the first two steps. And it says, about 10 lines down, in the first two steps we were engaged in reflection. We saw that we were powerless over alcohol, step one. But we also perceived that faith of some kind, if only in AA itself, is possible to anyone, step two. These conclusions did not require action they required only acceptance. Right? So there's no action in the first two steps. If I can reflect and accept A, B, and C, then I am, the book says, at step three. I also want to read you something here talking about this idea of our suggested 12 steps. Okay? This is from page 174 in the 12 by 12. This is actually in the tradition section of the book. So not many people read that section, right? Yeah. And it says, unless each AA member follows to the best of his or her ability, our suggested 12 steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. I wonder how important that is. His drunkenness and disillusionment are not penalties inflicted by people in authority. They are a result of his personal disobedience to spiritual principles. Right? Like I said, you know, I strongly suggest if you want to live, that you work these 12 steps. All right. Where am I here? As I said, Bill wrote in 1938, he wrote the original copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, including this two and a half pages that we read at every meeting. Right? And I want to read you, if I can find it, how Bill originally wrote it. Okay? Because I think that it's very telling. And you can kind of follow along in your book to see where he might have made some of these changes. Then we're going to take a five minute break. Okay? It says here in the manuscript, rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates they are not at fault. They seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those two who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to follow directions. At some of these you may balk. You may think you can find an easier, softer way. We doubt if you can. With all of the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. Remember that you are dealing with alcohol. Cunning, baffling, powerful. Without help it is too much for you but there is one who has all power. That one is God. You must find him now. Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under his protection and care with complete abandon. Now we think you can take it. Here are the steps we took which are your program of recovery. Step one is the same. Step two is the same. Step three says we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care and direction of God as we understood him. Four, five, and six are exactly the same. Number seven, humbly on our knees asked him to remove our shortcomings holding nothing back. Number eight says we made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make complete amends to them all. Nine, ten, and eleven are the same. Number twelve says having had a spiritual experience as the result of this course of action we tried to carry this message to others especially alcoholics and practice these principles i