The Alcoholic Sickness Discussed at Length in Chapter Three – Kip C.

Hello and welcome to SoberCast, where we provide AA speaker meetings and workshops in podcast format. We're an ad-free podcast, and if you enjoy listening, please help us be self-supporting by visiting Sobercast.com, look for the donate link, and drop a dollar or two into our virtual basket. We hope you enjoy the podcast. Have a great day. I'm a recovered alcoholic called Bigfoot Tim. And this week we are on the Chapter 2 Employers, probably after the Chapter 2 Wives, probably one of the most forgotten chapters in the book. Because most people, unless they are employers, you know, just kind of gloss it over and say, well, you don't have to do that. You know, I run my business the way I want to, and I'm an alcoholic or a recovered alcoholic, so I understand. However, for... Oh, battery's low, huh? Well, you may not get this one. I'm going to have to send it to you. Ha ha ha! And so, yes, so it becomes this thing of you run the business a particular way. I've been in meetings where people who are business owners completely poo-poo this chapter and say, oh, you know, I wouldn't do this. This affects my business. And for me, the importance of this chapter is that if you are sponsoring people, to me this is one of the best supplements to the chapter working with others because in essence that relationship is sort of an employer-employee type of relationship you know, the person who is yes, batteries I have this one, I can send it up to so what ends up happening is that as a sponsee they sort of sometimes look at their sponsor as their boss in a roundabout way. Sometimes sponsors demand to be treated as a boss. I've seen people who are loose, who are just loose and tight in the same regard as employers may be. Another important aspect of this chapter, this is the only chapter in the first part of the book prior to the stories that was not written by Bill. This was written by Hank Parkhurst, who was Bill's partner in Works Publishing, which is the company that actually had the rights and the royalties to the original publishing of the big book. And part of that is that they sold stock options to people in order to help defray the cost of publishing the big books. And, you know, Bill and Hank were going to get rich on it and all that fun stuff. And what ended up ultimately happening was that into the deal, Bill restructured Works Publishing and moved it from Newark, which is where it was, into New York and cut Hank out is what happened. So as the result of that, Hank had a resentment, and he drank based on his resentment. So the interesting part of it is that we have wonderful information given by a man who did not stay sober. Hank Parkhurst did not say sober. He died a drinker, according to historical records. But nevertheless, he was instrumental in this book being published. a lot of the work that he did enabled us to have the kind of public information which is what this was originally to happen. So it's important to note that because when you read it, the style is a little bit different than the rest of the book obviously because it's a different author penning the actual words whereas the ideas suggested in this chapter are not off with the rest of the program and the rest of the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous. So it starts at 136, and there's an introduction to it where he says he has hired and fired hundreds of men. He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him. His present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to businessmen everywhere. so what's interesting here he starts with for lack of a better word the ego he starts with the ego within the story and he says I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing 6,600 men you know so it kind of immediately kind of makes you go wow that's a lot of people to be boss over so it kind of sets that up You know, so within that structure, you know, there's a story in that first page where one of his employees jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday, left us a note saying you were the best boss he ever had and that you were not to blame in any way. So it's interesting that it's almost sort of an amends within the story there, too. That perhaps he didn't do enough for this employee named Paul and had to kind of, oh, well, I have a note saying I'm off the hook, sort of. So there's little nuances there within the different stories, within the book that I always try to point out because it jumps out to me. And on page 137, he tells another story. A woman's voice came faintly over long distance from Virginia. She wanted to know if her husband's company insurance was still in force four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. I had been obliged to discharge him for drinking, though he was brilliant, alert, and one of the best organizers I've ever known. And there's one other story in there as well of a salesman that he had. And he says, here were three exceptional men lost to this world because I did not understand alcoholism as I do now. What irony, I became an alcoholic myself. So once again, there it is, Hank saying, wow, you know, I didn't know. Maybe I could have helped these people. And as the result of his own losing his company and getting back on his feet, saying, well, I need to do something here to help these people, you see. he goes on to talk about the money that's involved in employing alcoholics you know at the bottom of page 137 because he says because of the employee's special ability or of his own strong personal attachment to him the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period some employers have tried every known remedy in only a few instances has there been a lack of patience and tolerance, and we who have imposed on the best of employers can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us, right? Now he tells another story, right, a typical one. Now at the end of that paragraph he says something very interesting as most of you know how I come to this, and it actually starts there. He says his comment was very interesting, but I'm sure this man is done drinking. He has returned from a three months three months leave of absence has taken a cure looks fine and to clinch the matter the board of directors told him this was his last chance right i mean how many times have we all heard that within our own things you know okay i forgive you but this is the last time only to know it's not really the last high you know um and then in within our own stories, when it actually is the last time, how shocked we are. What do you mean? You said this is the Last Time like 60 times already. How could this really be the last time? So it's important to note that alcoholics, not unlike a lot of people, are really looking for that loophole. They're looking for the yeah but or the chink in the armor, the way to get over the easier, softer way as we like to call it, right? And then he continues. He says, The only answer I could make was that if the man followed the usual pattern, he would go on a bigger bust than ever. I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice. Why not bring him into contact with some of our alcoholic crowd? He might have a chance. I pointed out that I had had nothing to drink whatever for three years and in the face of difficulties that would have made nine out of ten men drink their heads off, why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story? Right? Now that's pretty poignant. Three years, right? I haven't had a drink in three years. Why don't you let me talk? And here's his answer. Oh no, said my friend. This chap is either through with liquor or he is minus a job. If he has your willpower and guts, he will make the grade. I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand. He simply could not believe that his brother executive suffered from a serious illness. There was nothing to do but wait. So you've heard me talk about this. Now, this was 1939, right? Because Hank got sober in 36. 39, right, so he was already... This was like one of the last chapters to go in the book before printing. So he was sober three years. He had this going on. He was talking about an illness, waiting for it to happen, right. And his frustration was that he could not make this obviously intelligent employer understand that you're not dealing with behavioral problems. You're dealing with an illness, right? And how many times have you heard me say that over and over and overheard? And here we are. Now, okay, so that's the beginning of this movement of alcoholics and non-alcoholics, right. But here we are in almost the 15th year of the 21st century, and we're still treating it the same way that that banker is treating it. So we, as members of Alcoholics Anonymous, need to make sure that we get out there and start educating the public and educating the people who are closest to us to let them know. Now, you also know how I feel about the victim mentality. It's like, okay, yes, we have an illness, but it can be overcome. You can recover from it. You can be cured of it if you do things. You don't just go and sit in a chair for an hour and now, hey, how long have you been doing that? Oh, I've been doing it like five years. Nothing's got better. That's like saying, okay, well, how Long have you Been a Member of the Gym? Five years. Do you actually work out? You know? Okay. So it's important to put that, right? Okay. So then he goes and the prediction comes true. Presently, the man did slip was fired and was fired. Following his discharge, we contacted him. Without much ado, he accepted the principles and procedure that had helped us. So he got into this process of the steps. Excellent. He is undoubtedly on the road to recovery. To me, this incident illustrates lack of understanding as to what really ails the alcoholic, the lack of knowledge as to which part employers might profitably take in salvaging their sick employees. That's huge. Huge, because what happens? He's going to go on to tell a little more of that. That when an alcoholic gets well, right, and that problem is removed and it's solved, and they go to work, they're amazing employees because now they're no longer spending all that energy that they were before trying to cover their alcoholism, trying to covered their drinking, trying to do this, all that. Now they can focus on work, and you're getting a better work day out of them. You know, you're not getting like four and a half hours of work. You're getting a full seven to eight hours from it. You know? And that's really key to do that. Okay. So he says if you desire to help, it might be well to disregard your own drinking or lack of it. Right? Whether you are a hard drinker, a moderate drinker or a teetotaler, you may have some pretty strong opinions, perhaps prejudices. Right? Those who drink moderately may be more annoyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would be. Drinking occasionally and understanding your own reactions, it is possible for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned, are not always so. As a moderate drinker, you can take your liquor or leave it alone. Whenever you want to, you control your drinking. Of an evening, you could go on a mild bender, get up in the morning, shake your head, and go to business. To you, liquor is no real problem. You cannot see why it should be to anyone else save the spineless and stupid, right? Because most alcoholics are spineless in stupid, yeah. I think some of the most brilliant people I've met in my life are alcoholics, and we are certainly not spineless. We stand with tons of gumption in the face of death constantly, right. when dealing with an alcoholic there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak stupid and irresponsible even when you understand the malady better you may feel this rising now we've been dealing with this for like the past four weeks right the same day even though this entire room basically understands the mal but we still fall into that category we get so annoyed at the alcoholic who's being irresponsible, stupid, and weak. Right? That's what we're doing. Okay? And that's been my experience. You know, you said... And I was thinking about that, you know, and it's tough, you Know. It takes courage to come back and announce yourself as coming back. For me, I've been very blessed that I haven't had to do that. Right? Nor will I because we all know what I do. I have God in my life and that's it God doesn't want me drinking, end of story I have no reservations about that period so to that end, I annoy people with that the crazy thing about that is that throughout my years of recovery there are people who are just like waiting for me to relapse which I think is just disgusting you know they can't wait and they sit around in their sick circles and talk about I just can't wait until Big Book Tim relapses. So then we'd know. It's like, really? Like how about, why don't we get to doing this? And you know, I don't want anybody ever who gets the gift of Alcoholics Anonymous to ever relapse. Ever. I may not be able to stand you, but if you say, listen, I need help and I'm having a hard time, you know what? I'm going to help you because you're coming to me and you're saying, hey. Because to me, I look at it like, all right, well, God's sending this person to me. And we're like oil and water, and they're asking me for help. I got to help. So it's so important for us as recovered alcoholics, as recovering alcoholics to have that patience, tolerance, understanding, and love. And it's such a difficult force when we are recovering and recovered and dare I say cured, when we're in that state because we forget we were that person. We were that person that they're talking about, right? And we even hear that with other outside issues in our life. That's been my experience. You know, I talk about this often, that I have outside issues that I do. And at almost nine years of sobriety, had those outside issues crop up and had no idea what was going on. I had no education about it at all, and the people in my life had even less education. So now, as the result of being recovered from alcoholism, well, now I'm just termed as lazy and stupid and you're just and you are not doing this. Okay? Because they had no education about it. They were in that prejudice. They were within that I think I know because, you know, everybody thinks they know something about mental illness. And they just don't. So it becomes our responsibility, once we become well, to educate people within our immediate circle and then people out in the world what to really know. Like, what do you – listen, other organizations have no problem annoying the rest of the public with their cause, okay? And I don't say that in any realm of disrespect to those causes. My point is that they're doing the right thing. They're advocating for those illnesses. You hear about autistic spectrum, you hear about breast cancer all the time, you hear About tons of illnesses that are out there. I mean, I've been watching football my whole life. You have, you know, those people who are dealing with the football players and they support a particular organization. Okay, so that's all going on, but yet we're staying quiet. And we're keeping quiet because we're still dealing with a behavioral issue that carries with it guilt and shame. As opposed to an illness that can be overcome, that affects everybody in this country. Everybody in this county. You've heard me do those numbers before, right? 20%, 60 million. For every one person who's afflicted, it affects at least four people. Well, that's 240 million people. There's 300 million in America. That sounds like close to everyone to me, okay? So why are we ignoring it? Why aren't we being more annoying to the rest of the population? Why? Because we have to deal with people like this employer who has these prejudices. Well, I drink and I have no problem living alone. You have a problem. And them not understanding that, well, as the result of me having a problem, you have a problem because they're powerful. over alcohol too, right? So that's why these chapters are so important to be able to utilize to educate the people within our fellowship, the people in the general public, and make people understand that us anonymous people are not secret. Okay, that we have probably a larger voice than any one of those other groups that I previously mentioned, okay? But because people can't see it and the stuff that they do see is annoying and dirty and imposing and disgusting and misunderstanding. You know, it's all that stuff, okay. You know people who are afflicted with stage three, stage four cancer who are going through chemotherapy are not looked at as annoyances. They're looked at a sick people who are dying But it's not like that for us. We're looked at as annoyances. You're a nuisance, right? And that's unfortunate. So this is why I do the things that I do because I want people to know that what they think about alcoholism and addiction and possibly other mental illnesses is wrong. It's absolutely wrong. This is what we have to present to the world, right, because if you look in your own history, right where you were when you were in your pit or where you may have been when you got out of it and may have slid back is so much more productive than when you're in your illness. That's the whole point. So we're trying to present that to the world that, hey man, we... And that's a big problem that I always have with the whole meetings. It's all about meetings in our society. Whereas it's really not about that. It's about reinserting ourselves back into the world and becoming productive members of society as opposed to separating from it. There's this big push now for sober high schools, and to me that is just one of the worst ideas in the world. And I let those people know who are pushing for that, and then of course they get annoyed because that's their cause. And I'm like, don't you understand that you're perpetuating the stigma even more that people, now teenagers, who are addicts and alcoholics can't function with the rest of other children because they're abnormal so we need to put them in a special place? I mean, you know, we talk about people in special education being mainstreamed. Okay, but now because you have an addiction problem, now you're going to be the separate people in a separate building. Now you're special. Okay? So it's completely upside down. So that's my problem with that, because now we're separating ourselves from quote-unquote normal people, when we can become normal people. That says it. That's part of those promises that I read way back there. We react sanely and normally. Okay? Once we have had that spiritual experience and that miracle has happened, that's how we react. So why are we separating our children now from the rest of the children? Okay, because I have no idea why. Because somebody can make money? I don't know. So it's important to look at these prejudices as far as I'm concerned. And he says that. He says, a look at the alcoholic in your organization is many times illuminating. Is he not usually brilliant, fast-thinking, imaginative, and likable? When sober, does he not work hard and have a knack for getting things done? If he had these qualities and did not drink, would he be worth retaining? Should he have the same consideration as other ailing employees? Is he worth salvaging? If your decision is yes, whether the reason be humanitarian or business or both, then the following suggestions may be helpful. Okay, so he's presenting that argument that I just made, right? Like, why is this person different than somebody who's suffering from something else? Well, what's up, right? Okay, so here's what he says. He says, can you disregard the feeling that you are dealing only with habit, with stubbornness or a weak will? And he just said this stuff, right. If this presents difficulty, now he gives instruction. Rereading chapters two, there is a solution. And three, more about alcoholism. For what purpose? Where the alcoholic sickness is discussed at length might be worthwhile. So he's not sending them to a meeting to hear what people have to say about it. He's sending them do another part in this book because that's what we have to say about in this look. So then he said you as a businessman want to know the necessities before considering the result. If you can see that your employee is ill, can he be forgiven for what he has done in the past? Can his past absurdities be forgotten? Can it be appreciated that he has been a victim of crooked thinking directly caused by the action of alcohol on his brain? Not because he's an idiot or because he is stupid or because of any other reason, but because of the illness. He says, I well remember the shock I received when a prominent doctor in Chicago told me of cases where pressure of spinal fluid actually ruptured the brain. No wonder an alcoholic is strangely irrational. Who wouldn't be with such a fevered brain? Normal drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic. That's a point-blank declaration right there. So if we're qualifying somebody as an alcoholic, okay, then We need to treat them that way. If they're not, if they don't fall under that category, they're nicht going to understand that. It becomes that same thing of like, I don't know. My ex-wife is a diabetic, okay? I can empathize, but I don' t understand. I don''t understand. I cannot fully completely understand. I understood that when she would drink a tall glass of orange juice in the morning because she'd play games with her disease, like not eat the night before so her blood sugar could go low so she could have a big tall glass of orange use in the mornin'. I got that thinking. I understood that thinking, right? Because it becomes that denial of the illness and the sickness and I'm going to try to control it the way I want, all that stuff. So I get that. However, I'm not going to understand that you can't really have the orange juice because I can have orange juice. Okay, so the only way that I could really understand is the fact that I am an alcoholic, right. That's the only reason, because I'm like, oh, I get it. I can't have alcohol. She can't Have Sugar. Next, there doesn't need to be a reason. That is the reason. She cannot have sugar. You know, it's like, I cannot have alcohol, why not? Because I can. I can, I am allergic to it, and that's it. It does things to me that it doesn't do to other people, I can have it. Nobody ever says, like, you know, I can't have peanuts. Nobody ever said, why? I can. Well, because I'm allergic to it and it'll kill me. Oh, okay. And nobody ever says well, I don't trust anybody who can't have peanuts but yet, you know, drinker. Oh, I'm stupid. Okay. Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. They may be disgusting. You may be at a loss to understand how such a seemingly above-board chap could be so involved. These scrapes can generally be charged no matter how bad to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind. When drinking or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the motto of honesty when normal, would do incredible things. Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible. Nearly always these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions. Okay, so that's kind of reiterating what was talked about earlier in the book of the Jekyll and Hyde, right? Dr. Jekyl, when normal, take that elixir and Mr. Hyde comes out and that's that. Okay, and then he says, this is what I like. He says, this is not to say that all alcoholics are honest and upright when not drinking. Of course that isn't so and such people often may impose on you. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. If you are sure your man does not want help, he may as well be discharged the sooner the better. You are not doing him a favor by keeping him on. Firing such an individual may prove a blessing to him. It may be the jolt he needs. I know in my own particular case that nothing my company could have done would have stop me for so long as I was able to hold my position. I could not possibly realize how serious my situation was. Had they fired me first, and had they taken steps to see that I was presented with the solution contained in this book, I might have returned to them six months later a well man. A well man. The solution in this book makes him a well man How's that possible? But there are many men who want to stop and with them you can go far Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends Perhaps you have such a man in mind He wants to quit drinking and you want to help Even if it be only a matter of good business You know more about alcoholism You can see that he is mentally and physically sick You are willing to overlook his past performances. Suppose an approach is made something like this. Cola. State that you know about his drinking, that it must stop. You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink. A firm attitude at this point has helped many of us. Okay, so we're basically presenting the same situation that we're all faced with. It's the, are you done? And he's going to continue along those lines. Next, he can be assured that you do not intend to lecture, moralize, or condemn. That if this was done formerly, it was because of misunderstanding. So at least we're trying to re-educate in this process also. It's like, you know what? I didn't know before. Now I know. I get it. Okay, let's move forward from there. If possible, express a lack of hard feeling toward it. At this point, it might be well to explain alcoholism. The illness. Alcoholism, the illness. That's pretty plain, right? So why is it that we're still dealing with the outside world who's saying in its behavior? Okay, it's an illness. We express that over and over and over again, right? Say that you believe he is gravely ill. Another reiteration. A gravely evil person with this qualification being perhaps fatally ill. Does he want to get well? Right? You're dying. You have an illness that you're going to die from. Do you want to get well You ask because many alcoholics being warped and drugged do not want to quit. Isn't that amazing? That's how powerful it is, right? We talked about that before. Remember you deal with alcohol. Cunning, baffling, powerful, right. Then here it is. They do not want to quit, but does he, right, there's the first. Do you want to quit? And then will he take every necessary step, submit to anything to get well, to stop drinking forever? Not just for today. Just for today is a reservation. Okay? Because then you're clinging on to something. Well, if this doesn't quite work out, I'll go back to it. We'll see. I'll try. B.S., man. Are you done? Are you down for good? Are you going to do whatever it takes to stay down for good? Okay? If he says yes, ready for this? Does he really mean it? Or down inside, does he think he is fooling you? And that after rest and treatment, he will be able to get away with a few drinks now and then. We believe a man should be thoroughly probed on these points. Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you. Okay? So we're pounding this. We want to know, man. Not the, oh, you don't, yeah, I do, yeah. Okay? If it requires... because ultimately he's reiterating for the same reason as we talk about in the chapter working with others, are we going to spend our time trying to help this person? It's a reiteration of that. It's the same thing as sponsors, okay? If they're not done and if they're not desperate enough, if they don't want what you have, move on. You may spoil later opportunity, okay, so it's the sametime thing. That's why I say this goes with our sponsorship, right, Because it's the same type of thing. Now, here's what he says. Whether you mention this book is a matter for your discretion. If he temporizes and still thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender if an alcoholic he's almost certain to have. That's pretty direct there. If he's an alcoholic, he's most certain to having another bender. He should understand that emphatically. Either you are dealing with a man who can and will get well or you are not. No in-between. There's no in-betweens. If not, why waste time with it? This may seem severe, but it is usually the best course. And why? Because we want somebody to not have any ideas of their own. Because if you still have... It talks... It's repeated over and over and over and ever and ever. You think you can do it your way? Goodbye, good luck. You think you could drink like a gentleman, do the right about face? Our hats are off to you. Anybody who's having a problem with liquor can leave it alone for a year? Maybe we're wrong. Go try some controlled drinking. Do it more than once. Get a real... Okay, over and over and ever again. Qualify, qualify, qualify. Qualify. Why? Why are we doing that? Because we don't want people who are not alcoholics wasting our time. Because there's plenty of alcoholics who need this. right? Even though they don't want it. He just read that. Some of them don't want it, okay? We can't help them, but at least we can present the message to alcoholics who want this and need it, okay? Just because somebody shows up to AA doesn't mean they're an alcoholic. It doesn't. I've met tons of them, okay, and so be satisfied he's not deceiving you. You know, you get people who come into AA all the time, who learn this information and spout it at meetings and lead people off cliffs. Okay? And I can't abide that, right? Okay. After satisfying yourself, reiterates the chapter working with others, that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action. Hey, there's probably 12 steps, I think, right, right. For most alcoholics who are drinking and who are just getting over a spree, a certain amount of physical treatment is desirable, even imperative. Again, we're reiterating it. Body's got to be cleared. Body needs to be well before the brain can even understand what we're saying. We need to do that. The matter of physical training is important. Physical treatment should, of course, be referred to your own doctor. Whatever the method, its object is to thoroughly clear mind and body of the effects of alcohol. In competent hands, this seldom takes long, nor is it very expensive. Your man will fare better if placed in such physical condition that he can think straight and no longer craves liquor, which means complete detoxification. It doesn't mean replacement therapy. Someone goes to, and that's why it's great, he says incompetent hands because alcoholics and drug addicts who go to doctors and those doctors give them replacement therapy, opiate replacement or benzodiazepines or long-term opioid antagonists with which to stave off their cravings for liquor. Listen, I've been In over two decades I've never heard of anybody who was on Antabuse not relapse Never Ever I've ever I've heard of anyone on antabuse Who did not relaps They tell the stories all the time And they drank on ant abuse And got sick anyway and almost died Because ant abuse Is supposed to Reverse the effects of alcohol On the body It doesn't reverse the effects of the alcoholic thinking. And that's what we're here for. So if people are going to doctors who are saying, oh yeah, because you have a nervous condition when you're not drinking, we need to give you some Xanax or we need to give your some Ativan or we need to get you some Klonopin, please tell them the truth about what they're doing, that they're taking solid alcohol and go to a different doctor who doesn't want to kill you. Because that's the truth. It says it in our book in any form at all. Benzodiazepines are solid alcohol. Don't take my word for it. Look it up. You are the spearhead of your own recovery. Educate yourself about everything that has to do with your alcoholism. Because I'm sure for every person sitting in this room, they've heard stories of people being sober for a time, then going to their doctor because of some outside issue, and their doctor giving them a prescribed medication for that particular issue and then they relapse as the result of it. Okay? Whether it be benzodiazepines or whether it be painkillers because, you know, they have a bad back. You know, like... Because there's a story in this book called Dr. Alcoholic Addict. At least in the third edition. They renamed it in the fourth one because people were probably going, hey, hey, hay. But whatever. So the point is that we need to be, you know, it talks about it. We hear it in meetings all the time and how it works. It's a program that demands rigorous honesty. It demands it. It doesn't suggest it. It demands rigor. Rigorous meaning that it's strenuous and you have to be honest. It demandsit. Why does it demand it? Or else is really the opposite. You either do this or else. You have choices. It's about choices. And that's what we're proposing here. choices, okay? And he even says that. Look at that. He even uses that word. Isn't that great? How cool is God? If you propose such a procedure to him, it may be necessary to advance the cost of treatment, but believe it should be made plain that any expense will later be deducted from his pay. It is better for him to feel fully responsible. I just had a dinner with a friend of mine that I've known since we're kids. I haven't seen him in 17 years and we were just talking about this. We were talking about accountability and responsibility and integrity, okay? And that victim mentality of, I have a disease. Okay, well, are you going to be responsible for that or are you just going to like point at somebody else and go, it's because, because, no. You need to be accountable for it. You need to be responsible for, fully responsible. Because I won't get into the whole argument of the vernacular that we use or not use and all that kind of stuff, but ultimately, we are responsible for our own sobriety. Nobody else. Not our sponsor, not our spouse, not our network, not your home group, not any meeting. We ourselves are responsible for our own recovery with our relationship, with our own higher power. That's what this book says. Over and over and over and over again. I'm not making it up. You people know. You've heard me for half a year now. It's what it says. I'm nicht rewriting es. Es sagt, was es sagt. So if we're not going to take responsibility, who is? There's no blame. It's right here. It's within us, right? Okay, and then what he says, if your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture. Right? So why is it that we're allowing don't drink and go to meetings to be a solution? Don't drink is a small parte of the pitcher. Don't Drink is the easy part, to be honest with you. After the first month, the don't-drink part physically is done. There's no physical cravings. It's all mental obsession after that. Physiologically speaking, the alcohol is out of our system. Our body doesn't say, hey, give me more of that. Only our insane head, right? Okay, though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, he should understand that he must undergo a change of heart. To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude. Right? Remember I talked about that on page 25 and then again on page 50? We all had to place recovery above everything. For without recovery, we would have lost both home and business. I think I said that somewhere like maybe two or three weeks ago, that whatever you put in front of your recovery, you're going to lose anyway? I know I said it. Can you have every confidence in his ability to recover? While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned, this will be a strictly personal matter that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken will never be discussed without his consent. It might be well to have a long chat with him on his return. Now, most of us know and have heard of people having EAP programs, right? Employee Assistant Programs that are supposed to follow this not just by ethics and morals but they're supposed to following it by law. Okay, there's laws. There's the HIPAA law that's supposed to protect any sort of treatment. And then there's what they call CFR 42, which is Confidential Federal Regulation 42, which states that none of this can be discussed without written consent, emergency, an order of a judge, or the fourth one ran right out of my head. But it's not really that important. It shouldn't be discussed. Okay, end of story. And how many times in your own experience it may have happened to you that you left to get your treatment for your illness and came back and everybody was whispering. I just don't mind it. Okay? You know, it's a little... You can't really say that you're on maternity leave. You know? That's, you know, you could say you're on paternity leave but you better have another kid when you come back. You know, there's all these things. Okay, so it just becomes like in a general way people know why you leave, okay? But the law says it shouldn't be discussed. Now, back then it was different. The law says It shouldn't Be Discussed. So that's important for people to know because you have your privacy rights. It is an illness that is protected by law. By law, right? Okay, here he goes. He says, to return to the subject matter of this book. Isn't that exciting? This book, right, colon, it contains full suggestions by which the employee may solve his problem. What did that just say? That he may solve His Problem. Full suggestions. Twelve steps to solve the alcoholic problem, right. To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel. Perhaps you are not quite in sympathy with the approach we suggest. By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject. But so far as we are concerned, it has worked with us. That's important because you hear the opposite in meetings all the time. This is the only thing that works for alcoholics. No, that's not Alcoholics Anonymous' opinion. That's somebody who's stating that's opinion. Alcoholics Anonymous's opinion is what I just read. By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject. It's worked for us, so we're putting it out there. If you want to follow what we're asking, we have a way. After all, are you not looking for results rather than methods? Whether your employee likes it or not, he will learn the grim truth about alcoholism. Grim truth, meaning that it's deathly. That won't hurt him a bit, even though he does not go for this remedy. Remedy? Oh, what's a remedy? A cure! There it is again. Oh, look at this. He says, We suggest you draw the book to the attention of the doctor who is to attend your patient during treatment. If the book is read, the moment the patient is able, while acutely depressed, realization of his condition may come to him. The doctor, you know, the MD, more drugs, right? Doctor. Because doctors in their training usually only get about 18 hours of addiction education. education, 18 hours in four years of medical school and four years of internship and a year of residency, nine years. They get 18 hours, 18, unless they specialize in this, okay? So really, they really don't know more than we do about it, okay, so it's up to us to educate them. That's why we have things like cooperating with the professional community committees in Alcoholics Anonymous, So we can educate the professionals about how to treat alcoholics. We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition. Then it says there, when the man is presented with this volume, the next paragraph, it says, of course, that your changed attitude plus the contents of this book will turn the trick. Later on in the paragraph, It says, meanwhile, we are sure a great deal can be accomplished by the use of the book alone. It's not really important, this book. Oh, you big book thumpers, you think it's all about that? Yeah, yeah, I do, right? Page 145, like the middle of the page, it says, The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. And he knows that perfectly well. because every single one of those things were his downfall. Every single one. They all felt, right? Wherever men are gathered together in business, there will be rivalries and arising out of these a certain amount of office politics. Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. Often this is not so at all. But sometimes our drinking will be used politically. Ironically, it was true for him, wasn't it? So the next page. page 146, the second paragraph, right? In the middle of the paragraph, he says an alcoholic who has recovered but holds a relatively unimportant job can talk to a man with a better position. Right? Why? Because on the subject of alcoholism, he knows more. Page 147, the middle of that page. He says there is another thing you might wish to do. If your organization is a large one. Your junior executives might be provided with this book, right? The next paragraph, after reading this book. A junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, and goes on, right, the book, book, talking about the book. The next page, the first paragraph there, you junior executive may not agree with the contents of our book, okay? The Next Paragraph, It says it boils right down to this, colon. No man should be fired just because he's an alcoholic. And guess what? That's the law now. People can't be just fired because they're an alcoholic, it's protected, right? If he wants to stop, he should be afforded a real chance. If he cannot or does not want to stop he should have been fired. He should be discharged. The exceptions are few. Right? The next page. Second paragraph, it says there, Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sick people, deranged men. What our friend the vice president had in mind was the habitual or whoopee drinker. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic. Okay, so we're distinguishing, right? The next paragraph. it says it is not to be expected that an alcoholic employee will receive a disproportionate amount of time and attention he should not be made a favorite wasn't I just talking about that with the high schools the right kind of man check this out the kind who recovers will not want this sort of thing he will not impose far from it He will work like the devil and thank you to his dying day, right? That's important stuff right there, okay? As a sponsor, taking that into your relationship with the people you sponsor. You know, like we can't applaud you for running out of the burning building, right ? The accomplishments within the recovery process, yes, that's wonderful. But okay, now that you're recovered, you're not special. You're a normal person. Get out there in the world and be a normal person, and lead by example. So that way people say, you know, you're different. What's with you? How come you're happy? Usually people say that kind of thing. Why are you happy? No, I'm alive, really. I'm on borrowed time. I've been living way past my expiration date. That's why I'm happy. Don't get me wrong, I am human like everyone else, but I don't walk around going, because it's not this is not life isn't awful sometimes things are awful things that go on in the world are awful but life isnít awful life is just incredible just the things that have happened in my life and I'm just like you know if I sat down and told you all the things that have happened so far you probably go oh my god that's so much and I feel like nothing has happened. Okay? Like, that's that warped sense of like not doing enough, right? Then he says this. I love this. He says, Today I own a little company. Yes. Works Publishing Company is what he owned. There are two alcoholic employees, him and Bill, who produce as much as five normal salesmen. But why not? They have a new attitude and they have been saved from a living death. I have enjoyed every moment spent in getting them straightened out. I mean, that's just amazing, right? And even Hank says it, right, they've been saved from a living death. It's so important to incorporate the chapters beyond working with others into working with others, okay? because if we're expressing this to people who are coming in, who are trying to navigate the world for the first time, being recovering alcoholic non-drinkers, going back to their job on Fridays, you know, hey, we're going to go down to the bar before we catch the train. You want to come? It shouldn't be this big long dissertation as to why I can't come or on certain days it should be, sure, I'll come on down. I know that's taboo, but we have three pages that talk about why you should be there. Because it's important to be a part of your company. It's important for you to be able to do what you want to do. It's also important to become a part-of-your-job. I've been around drinkers in jobs plenty of times. The drinking is their problem. Okay? I'm not powerless over alcohol unless I put it in my body. And being recovered a long time, I'm now powerless over the alcohol. Because I have God in my life and God has all power. And God gives me power and has removed the problem. Remove the problem. It doesn't exist for me. It doesn' t exist. It says it in the book. I've done the work that is required to do that, and I continue to do it. It's not a problem. Never. It's never a problem at all. That's what God can do. That's the power of God. And the reason that I point out over and over and over in this particular chapter that he says the book, this volume, the book, this volume because this book and this volume is all about God. That's what it says. It's about finding a power by which we can live. And it must be a power greater than ourselves, obviously. Okay? I'm not making it up. It is where it comes from. Okay, so, you know, it's one of the forgotten chapters and I don't like it to be forgotten because there's, I mean, look at how much we got in there. Look at all those beautiful things that we have that are so powerful, that areso important about recovery, our own recovery and how we help other people. So it's important to put that in our own recovery. Next week we have chapter 11, a vision for you a vision from me, a mission for everyone. Alright, so thanks. Thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed the podcast. Sobercast is ad free and we'd like your help in order to keep it that way. So if you'd like to help us be self-supporting by pledging a dollar or two a month Visit SoberCast.com and look for the donate links. Thank you very much.