That Doorknob Ain’t Going to Work — Find a Real Higher Power – Robert J.

About This Speaker Tape

Robert J. from Athens, Georgia tells a testimony-style story shaped by violence, prison, and a late-breaking surrender. Sober since November 1, 2018 and now GSR of the Athens Young People's Group, he opens at page 45 of the Big Book — the passage about needing a power greater than ourselves — and uses it as the spine of his talk. He grew up without his mother, was raised in part by an abusive stepmother figure, and by adolescence had decided his life would end in prison. His grandmother died when he was fifteen; he was an A student before that and never passed another grade.

He cycles through jails, eventually catches an attempted-murder exposure of up to 100 years, and in the holding cell makes a jailhouse bargain with his Higher Power after his mother sends him the book of Job. He bounces out, relapses, and picks up more charges. In DRC he meets a girl who is actually trying to stay sober — the first person he has met in six to eight years of mandated meetings who was not just killing time. Around the same stretch, his son's mother relapses, the kids are taken into custody, and Robert is told he has no legal standing as the unlegitimized father — he has not seen his son in over six and a half years.

The tape turns on an absolute third-step decision. Robert reads Bill's story, tells his sponsor he is giving his life to his Higher Power with no reservations, gets baptized, and quits vaping, gangster rap, and television in short order. A sponsor he thought would never make it now has six years. He reads page 25 — "the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet" — and says the desire to drink or use has been gone for over five and a half years. The back half is a mission-trip arc with Heidi Baker: Israel seven days before the war breaks out, escape into Jordan, then South Africa and four bases in Mozambique, where a boy his son's age asks through an interpreter if Robert will sign a paper to adopt him.

He closes on the promises and on a sober coworker of Gus who overdosed and died that same morning — a warning that the program is not for people who want it but for people who actually do the work.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Tim introduces Robert J., recounting how Robert officiated his ex-wife's funeral
• 2:00 Robert opens at Big Book page 45 — finding a power greater than ourselves — gives sobriety date November 1, 2018 and Athens Young People's Group as home group
• 5:30 Growing up without his mother, looking up to Lucky Luciano and Al Capone, expecting prison as his future
• 9:00 Grandmother dies when he is 15 — never passes another grade, jail cycle begins
• 13:30 Attempted-murder charge with 100-year exposure; mother sends scripture and the story of Job; jailhouse bargain with his Higher Power
• 22:00 Picks up his son and finds welt marks on his back, told he has no legal rights as unlegitimized father
• 28:00 DRC — meets a girl actually trying to stay sober, first time in 6–8 years of mandated meetings
• 35:00 Reads Bill's story and makes absolute third-step decision — baptism, quits vaping, changes music and TV
• 45:00 Reads Big Book page 25 — the simple kit of spiritual tools — says desire to drink or use has been gone over five and a half years
• 52:00 Mission trip with Heidi Baker — Israel seven days before war, escape to Jordan, Mozambique base where a boy asks to be adopted