Step 4, Fear and Sex at the Woodstock of AA, Cocoa Beach – Bob D.

About This Speaker Tape

Bob D. recounts his journey from being owned by fear—a 'great trickster'—to finding freedom through the 12 Steps. He details how early attempts at personal inventory failed until he worked through the Big Book's material, specifically tackling resentment and fear.

A pivotal moment came when a friend challenged his supposed lack of fear, forcing him to confront deep anxieties about rejection, abandonment, and his own perceived inadequacies. He concludes that true recovery isn't about eliminating fear, but about accepting that one must be 'crushed by self-imposed crisis' to finally get 'in the wheelbarrow' of total surrender to a Higher Power, realizing that service is the only way to break the 'bondage of self.'

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction: Bob D. states he owes his life and freedom to the 12 Steps and commitment to the primary purpose.
• 0:55 Discussion of AA fellowship and speakers; notes the spontaneity of the program.
• 2:10 Speaker discusses how alcoholism makes 'our alcoholic life seem the only normal one,' pointing to the ego's justification.
• 4:30 Details the failure of his first two inventories, noting that nothing changed within him.
• 10:00 The pivotal story where a friend questioned his lack of fear, listing fears like rejection and being alone.
• 16:00 The speaker describes the 'wheelbarrow' concept, noting that while he understands it intellectually, he cannot emotionally commit to it.
• 21:00 Narrative of his crisis in Pennsylvania, where he was forced to confront his past by his sponsor, leading to a breakthrough.
• 28:00 Final thoughts on self-centeredness, concluding that service is the only way to relieve the 'bondage of self.'