Six Rehabs and a Burn Unit Couldn’t Fix What Wasn’t Willing to Be Fixed – Cappy

About This Speaker Tape

Kathy, who goes by Cappy, shares her story for the very first time at the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting at the NAVA Club. Born in 1962 in Atlanta, she grew up in a large family she compares to the Waltons, living with her mother and grandparents — Mama Deer and Papa Deer — after her parents divorced when she was five. She started modeling in eighth grade and kept at it through high school and beyond, eventually moving to New York City and then Los Angeles, where she worked the door at an exclusive supper club called Tattoo. Her drinking escalated steadily through her twenties and thirties, and she was unfaithful to her husband of nine years, getting pregnant during an affair in the Philippines before moving back to Atlanta as a single mother.

Back home with her family, the consequences piled up fast. She cycled through rehab after rehab — Ridgeview, Anchor Hospital, Gateway in Brunswick, Black Bear in Helen, the DeKalb Crisis Center — never ready to stop. Her house burned down and she suffered third-degree burns, spending time in the Grady burn unit. Her daughter was taken away through juvenile court. She moved in with an elderly man who beat her with his cane, splitting her head open, until his daughter kicked her out. After a two-week binge alone in that house, she was so physically destroyed that doctors at Piedmont Hospital told her she would have died within the hour if her mother had not brought her in.

Her sister organized one final intervention, and this time something broke open. Cappy stood at the refrigerator, looked at a bottle of white wine she did not even like, and surrendered — doing her first step right there in the kitchen. She went willingly to Bridges of Hope, a work-based recovery program where she cleaned bathrooms, worked in the garden, attended a Jehovah's Witness Bible study that made her feel at home, and fell in love with the Big Book. She got a sponsor named Laura who told her plainly that she did not deserve to be beaten. Almost four years sober at the time of this talk, Cappy now has three caretaking jobs that came to her through sober connections, a restored relationship with her 25-year-old daughter, and a deep gratitude for the fellowship she once wanted nothing to do with.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Chairperson Ellen opens the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting at NAVA Club and introduces Cappy
• 3:00 Cappy introduces herself, mentions sober date of January 5, 2019, and talks about growing up with Mama Deer and Papa Deer
• 7:00 Modeling career through high school, first blackout drunk at a keg party, and first taste of alcohol at age four with grandmother's sherry
• 12:00 Moves to New York, marries restaurant manager, then to LA working the door at Tattoo supper club
• 18:00 Affair with Marcus, trip to Philippines, gets pregnant, leaves husband and moves back to Atlanta
• 25:00 First rehab at Ridgeview, escalating drinking, house burns down and she suffers third-degree burns in Grady burn unit
• 32:00 Daughter taken away, juvenile court, cycling through multiple rehabs — Anchor Hospital, Gateway, Black Bear, DeKalb Crisis Center
• 38:00 Living with abusive elderly man, sponsor Laura tells her she does not deserve to be beaten, two-week binge nearly kills her
• 45:00 Final intervention by sister, surrender at the refrigerator, willingly enters Bridges of Hope and starts working the steps
• 52:00 Life in sobriety — three caretaking jobs, restored relationship with daughter, gratitude for fellowship and sponsor Laura