She Said Snort This and You Can Feel My Boobs — That Decision Cost Me 25 Years 🤣 – Robert B.

Everybody, my name is Tinsley. I'm an alcoholic. Somebody would come in. You know, we never knew what his story was, so that's kind of cool that the reveal is there because he's my sponsor, but also because this is a guy that helps others that get the help. My name's Robert. I'm an alcoholic. And thank you, Tinsley. That was a kind introduction. It's great to be here at the Blue Chip Speaker Meeting. I love that reading where we talk about the reason that we talk about our stories, stories show that we develop a relationship with God with a higher power. That's one of the key things I intend to do. I do want to tell you, it'll be a bit about what I was like, what happened to me, and what I'm like now. I'm going to follow sort of a general guideline, but in a very general way. I'd like to start off and say that I believe I'm a member of a good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it's for a couple reasons. One, I have a sobriety date, April 10, 2001. I was glad to pick up a chip last week or last month at my home group. And having a home group, I think, is a key thing to being a good member, a member of a good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous. My home group is the How It Works group of Alcoholics Anonymous. It meets here at 545. Glad to be a member of that group. My wife is a member of that group. I'm glad she's here. Other reasons why I believe I'm a member of a good standing is I have a sponsor, and I stay in touch with my sponsor. It's not like I call them every day like I used to. I don't have to take my pulse every day, but I do stay in touch with them, and I sponsor a number of guys. I do service work in Alcoholics Anonymous like this right here, and I do service work outside of Alcoholics Anonymous. I may even bring some of that stuff up. I'm not certain they'll have time to really tell all the things that I'd like to tell, but I'm not certain they'll have time to really tell all the things that I'd like to tell. I think when you put all of these things together, it means you are a member of a good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous, but it doesn't mean I'm a spokesman for it. I'm not an expert. I'm not an authority. I'm just a guy that could not stop drinking and finally sobered up. And so probably a key thing, and I think it's really important at a day meeting when you're telling your story, I need to figure out exactly how did I figure out I was an alcoholic. Let's do a step one. And there's two main reasons. I want to make sure that I'm clear on that. There's two reasons. One is something. What happens to me when I start drinking? It seems like when I start drinking, I get thirstier. I start drinking. People are shaking their heads. They know. I start drinking. I drink until I get drunk, and I keep on drinking. And that's when some of the best time happens. You know, you get drunk, and, man, you're on that run. You never know when you're really going to pull out of it. And sometimes it's just the next morning. Sometimes it's after the weekend. And sometimes it goes longer than that, and we'll see what happens to that. So that's one thing. And the book describes it. It says that I'm bodily different from my fellows. I'm different. You know, I thought other people were just like lightweights, that they could not keep up. You know, and there was other terms that might apply, but I'll not get into all that. But they just could not seem to keep up, and I could just seem to keep going. But there's this other phenomenon, and I would have never put it, described it the way that I describe it now. But somehow, I had this mental problem, and I didn't like that idea. Consequences that had fallen upon me, and I could be looking at prison time. I could be looking at problems at home. I could be looking at problems at work. I could be getting out of the hospital or detox, and have every reason in the world to stay sober. And time after time after time, I'd go back to the bar and take that first drink. Something would happen. I'd be a little bit anxious to just take the edge off. And I'd see people shaking their heads. They don't know exactly why they take that first drink. Now, I couldn't have told you this prior to me getting to alcoholics and all. So I've got this. I'm drinking. I cannot seem to drink safely. I lose control. Never know exactly what's going to happen. And bad things don't always happen. But sometimes they do. I can't seem to live safely. I cannot seem to be okay. My mind starts telling myself stories. I get anxious, and I get irritable. The book says restless, irritable, and discontented. The book says I'm a prey to misery. And all that stuff puts me in a position that gets me to take that first drink. So I can't live while I'm drinking. I can't live when I'm not drinking until I get this program recovered here at Alcoholics Anonymous. And so if you're in that place, you need to ask yourself that question. Am I really an alcoholic? And if you are, we have a solution. We have a solution for you. So I've got a great question. How many people here in their first 90 days? Raise your hand. I've got a similar question. How many people here in their last 90 days? Raise your hand. A couple people. Oops. I can answer that question, because for a long time I was in my first 90 days and my last 90 days at the same time. And I didn't even know it. You know, I was sort of floundering in and out, in and out, in and out. And thank goodness it got to that point where I got that sobriety date. And I'll get to that in April 10th, 2001. But I was born right then. I was born right here in Atlanta. I was born at Georgia Baptist Hospital, which turned into Atlanta Medical. And that's not even a hospital anymore. So I was born there, and I was born to parents. They took me home. I had parents that loved me. They gave me good educational opportunities. They gave me good religious training. They taught me right from wrong. And I did well in school. I was probably the little kid you see that seemed to be doing okay. My dad would have been described, or he was described in business. And I heard people that he worked with. He was described as honest. He was described as the day is long. He was a person that could be counted on. And that was the type of things that I was taught. Those were the type of principles I was taught. And I went to church and learned those things right from wrong. And my mother was probably the greater disciplinarian. They followed back in the 60s. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Yeah, people have heard of that. And my mom did not use the rod. She used the bolo paddle. And so that sort of kept me on the straight and narrow as a little kid until, you know, you grow a little older and something happens. You start, you know, getting off the straight and narrow. And I could tell stories about that. But I'm going to get right on to that first drink. Because if I don't get to my drinking and getting sober, I could be telling stories here all night. I want to get through such that we have time to give out chips and all the great things at the end of a meeting. So I was 15 years old at the time. I'll never forget. This Volkswagen van pulls up. And in that Volkswagen van, I knew who it was. It was the McClellan brothers. These were a couple of guys that we looked up to. John and Jim. They played in the van. They drove around in the van. One was 17. One was 16. They had long hair. They talked about going out with women. They talked about having sex with women. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I might have talked about having sex with women. But if I was doing any talking, the truth was probably Minaj Aouno. You know, or that one. And so they pulled up. And that van door slid open. And John stuck up. He stuck his head out the door. And he says, hey, Rex. Hey, Robert. You want to come and have a couple of beers? And so what we did is we said, yeah, you bet. We jumped in that van. And when I thought about drinking, I think about my dad. He'd come home from work. He'd have a couple of drinks. He'd have a couple of beers. He'd read the newspaper. Have dinner. Go to bed. Get up. Go to work the next day. I jumped in that van. That morning, I wasn't thinking about drinking necessarily. As a teenager, I'm not certain what I was thinking about. But anyway, we jumped in. I was thinking I was going to have a couple of beers. But I had one beer. Two beers. Four beers. And you know, we're in that old Volkswagen van. Four cylinder. It runs sort of raggedly. It had a stereo in it. And we were listening to Who and this and that. And the speakers would flicker some and all this kind of stuff. But you have four beers. You have eight beers. The next thing I know, that van is like a limousine. That music is like quadraphonic. You know, it was the best. And any anxieties I had, they went away. I mean, it was just like whatever was going on, it was gone. And I can tell you, I don't know if I was born an alcoholic. I can tell you that day an alcoholic was drinking was on. It wasn't like I was drinking all the time. But the drinking age back then in Georgia was 18. And that made it easier access. And so I started drinking. It was sort of a weekend kind of thing. Every now and then I'd get out during the week. And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it with my friends. It made it easier to talk to my friends, guys, women, whoever. And so pretty soon thereafter, I can remember it. I don't know how many people were around, you know, back in the 70s anyway. But there was this event going on one May. Yeah, people were mentioned. And so it was put on by Budweiser and a big radio station, WQXI. People would float down the river. And it's really just a big orgy and party going on down the channel. And I would have liked to have been out there. But I was with my buddy Drew. And we were driving around town in his Trump. And he was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat. And he says, Robert, reach in the glove compartment. And I did. And I opened it up and this bag of weed fell out. He says, open it up. And there was some joints rolled up in there. And when I opened it up, it wasn't these Ziploc bags like we have now. It's that old sandwich bag. Did you lick? And lots of people had licked, you know. And we pulled that joint out and started smoking and passing it back and forth. And, you know, it's popping. It's burning holes in your shirt and stuff like that. And, you know, I don't know that I fell in love with smoking weed. But it certainly enhanced the effect of alcohol. And, you know, you could do it during school. You could take a break. You could go out to the baseball field or whatever. And so I started drinking. I smoked a little weed. And next thing I know, I've abstained this girl. And she invited me over to her house to meet the parents. And I don't know that I was all excited about meeting the parents. But Cheryl invited me over. And so we met her parents in the front of the house. And she told her parents we were going to go back to her bedroom. I thought, well, this sounds good. So we head back to the bedroom. We go in. She locks the door. And I'm thinking, this is getting better. And then this thing happened that maybe I'd seen on TV or read about in a book. But she pulls out this mirror and dumps this white powder on it. And she chops it all up. And she has this trough. She had cut in half. And she looks at me. If you snort this with me, I'll let you feel my boobs. You can imagine what happened. I ended up drinking and doing drugs for the next 25 years. And often, this is the place where people, when they're telling their stories, they apologize for their drug use. But what I found is the founders talk about tapering off of morphine. They talk about using sedatives. So they started the whole thing, first of all. But also, about every alcoholic I know has some intermittent drug use. Either before, during, or after their big drunks. And so, I don't really see any big need to apologize. Plus, you're going to see an immense process down the way that sort of plays a part. But you know, my drinking grew from this. And I'm not going to go through an entire history of going to jail and detox and this and that. But I think there's a few highlights worth mentioning. So, my buddy David and I were heading down to Jekyll Island. We were supposed to meet some of our friends from high school. By this time, I was a senior. And we were driving down there. It's in my parents' car. And David took over the driving. We were drinking beer and having sandwiches. The radio was playing. Maybe we were listening to an 8-track. And so, we're in Camden County, which isn't the most direct route to Jekyll Island, I might add. And all of a sudden, the blue lights come on. They pull us over. And they arrest David for driving under the influence. And I used to say they threw me in jail because I was with them. But that's not true. They threw me in jail for public drunkenness. And David was in jail. And they said, you're going to have to call somebody to make bonds. David quickly pointed out his parents were out of town. So, I called my dad, who was expecting a phone call from the hotel at Jekyll Island. And he gets a phone call from the Glynn County Jail with me asking for bond money. And he was pissed off. But he didn't like yelling the phone. But he is firm. And he says, okay, I'm going to wire this money. But you're going to be through down there at noon and be here at 5 o'clock. And be prompt. Don't stop anywhere along the way. So, anyway, we came up with some story. We told our friends. We came on back. And at 5 o'clock, my parents were there sitting on the front porch waiting on us. And they read us a riot act. They talked about drinking and driving. They talked about you could have been hurt. You could have hurt someone else. This is on your permanent record. And, you know, they made the effort to get us to decide that we wouldn't drink anymore. And David promised he wouldn't drink. I promised I wouldn't drink. David drank the same way I did. If we're out drinking, David is going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. He's going to drink. If we're out drinking beers, he was knocking him off left and right. If we're going down to Jekyll Island, he was drinking just like I did. If we're doing shots, he'd be doing the shots the same rate as any of us other teenagers. He promised he'd quit. And he kept that promise. I promised I'd quit. And, within two weeks, I was drinking again. but give them a sufficient cause they can stop or moderate. David was like that, and I still see David. We had a high school reunion a couple years ago. He still doesn't drink. And, you know, he's made his way through life. And I kept drinking. And so that was one of those kind of times, one of those times where if consequences were going to make me stop, perhaps I would have stopped. But, man, I had no desire to stop. Four-year college in North Carolina, I sped through it in 60 months. I could get through school, and I hear people wondering, how can an active alcoholic get through school? Well, I got through school because I could take tests. You give me a multiple-choice test. It's like who wants to be a millionaire. You can sort of check two of them out. You're down to two. You give me a written test. If I've been to a few classes, read a little of books, I can come up with answers. But if you give me an oral test, I've got the other person outnumbered because I've got three or four people up here talking at any given time, you know. And so I was able to get out of school, and I was able to pass those tests. But once I got out of college, I found there was one test I could not pass. That was a field sobriety test. And, you know, I'm not going to go through all of them, but there's one point in my life, I was probably several years out of college, where I had three DUIs. It was within several months. It was a real problem. And I had this girl that I knew in high school whose father was an Atlanta City Traffic Court judge. He also had a law firm, so I went to his law firm and hired him to represent me in front of the other judge. And this worked out pretty well. I know I paid him a chunk of money, and we got in front of the judge. And the judge was flippant. He was flippant through these three DUIs, and there was a car accident with one and some other citations and prior citations. And he looks at me and says, Mr. Bell, do you think you have a problem? But he was right, and he had a valid point. You know, there's objective evidence. You know, these days, we could do some analytics on it. It's clear this guy has a problem with alcohol. The question to bid is maybe you should go to treatment. Maybe you should go to AA. Maybe you should get those sheets signed. You know, there's a lot of things he could have said. But the fix was in, and I don't know what happened with all that money, but I know. I had to pay a fine, and I was more or less free. But I can tell you, I did not want to get any more DUIs. When you start drinking on Tuesday, and you pull out maybe Friday or Saturday, and I need to do something about it. But I never had a family member that went to Alcoholics Anonymous. I didn't have any exposure to recovery from alcoholism. But I had grown up going to church, and I thought perhaps these people in church could help out. I thought I'd go, and, you know, I went and made a call, and this pastor guy got me in touch with this one guy who had sobered up in church, and he talked to me a bit, and he says, But, John. I thought I'd just try going to church and plug into Sunday school, do this and that. You know, when you talk to people who aren't alcoholics about going to jail and stuff like that, they go, You know, they don't understand. But they care. And Paul was there, though I didn't get any better with my alcoholism. I did stop doing drugs. I sort of felt like, you know, drinking is socially acceptable. I was a salesman. I had to drink with sales managers. I had to drink with customers and other salesmen. So it's sort of like a job requirement. And, you know, no matter what field you work at, it can be made a job requirement. If you're an attorney, you have to drink with judges, other attorneys, your clients, and so on and so forth. So anyway, I just sort of stuck to the drinking. And there's a good way to kick that whole cocaine and Quaalude thing. If you buy a fifth of Old Granddad every day, you are good. But I did go to church, and interesting happened. I met my first wife. There's a key word there, first. She was a woman of faith, and we got married. And that was one of those times where I could have quit. And she didn't mind my drinking. But what she did not want is a drunk husband. And that's what she ended up getting. Here's the kind of thing that would happen. It might be this time of night. It might be 8.30, and I'd call and say, you know, I'm going to be home at 9 o'clock. I know I'm supposed to be home at 8 o'clock to have dinner. But the Braves game is on. I'm going to watch one more inning. And I didn't know about this whole phenomenon or craving thing that you guys do about it. I have a couple beers. The next thing I know, I see Tim. I have a couple shots with him. The next thing I know, I see Fred. And I'm doing some beers with him. Before I know it, the game is over. Then SportsCenter's on. Then one of the West Coast games is on. And at 2 o'clock, I'm crawling in home. And, you know, I get up the next morning. I hope there's not going to be a big fight. And the kind of things that I say when I show up at a treatment, I show up at 8. People say, Robert, are you hurting anybody? I say, you know, if I'm hurting anybody, I'm just hurting me. But if you'd asked my wife, if you'd asked my brother, if you'd asked my parents, if you'd asked people I work with, you could ask any number of people. And they could tell you. They're the trouble I was causing. And the big book says selfishness and self-centeredness is the root of our troubles. And, see, I can't see that when I'm an active alcoholic. I can barely see it as a sober alcoholic. But I certainly can't see it as an active alcoholic. So the drinking continues. And friends are having family. And we're thinking perhaps we want to, you know, have children and not having children. And we're doing the things we need to do to have children. So she goes to the doctor. And the doctor says, it takes two to tango. Your husband needs to go to the doctor. Everything seems to be okay with both of us. But I have been getting physicals. And I found out that I need to have this elective surgery. And it was an abdominal surgery. And so I scheduled it for September. It was probably March or April. And it got near September. And I had to go in for the pre-op meeting with the doctor. I said, stay in the hospital. What for? He said, well, the level of pain is going to be so severe that we can't discharge you without you just sort of like stroking out from all the pain. So we've got to have you in the hospital for that medication. Well, with that abdominal surgery, he says, it's a narcotic medication. I said, okay. And in all honesty, I'd never popped pills before. But they gave me this prescription when I got out of the hospital. And I noted that it said take two every four hours. And what I found out is if I take four every two hours, I have this ease of comfort, sort of like drinking. And I came up with this plan. And if you're new in AA and you have a plan, you should tell us. It's probably like my plan was. But here were the ideas. I traveled as a salesman. So the idea was that I'm on the road. You know, just go. Go out and hit it hard on the road. And when I'm in town, my wife didn't like the drink. And the idea would be, is that just... And you end up laying on the floor unconscious. People know something's up because they can't smell booze. So that's sort of one problem. Another problem is I found that I used the pills faster than that doctor would get them to. And so I called my primary care physician and informed him of this surgery that I'd had. And he knew the level of pain abdominal surgery can cause. And he prescribed more. And I called some other doctors. And they, too, prescribed some pills. And in the day of the opioid epidemic, I shouldn't make light of it. This was sort of at the cusp of it. You know, I'm the... And so these doctors were prescribing them. But doctors also do have great care for their patients. And so they started cutting me off. And that was the right thing to do. But I'm a keen observer of society. I poured his convenience into little waiting rooms. And so I picked several of them up. And I'm not a doctor. I'm not a pharmacist. But I do write prescriptions. And, you know, when you're standing there in front of the pharmacist and you're giving them a prescription that you have written yourself, it can create anxiety while you're waiting for those pain pills. And so I thought, maybe I should do something for my anxiety. And so I started writing prescriptions for that. Next thing you know, you can't get up in the morning. You need something for that. You can't go to sleep. So before I knew it, I was writing prescriptions for everything left and right. And if you're like me, you know the truth is, if you do something wrong long enough, sooner or later you get caught. And sure enough, that's what happened with me. I ended up getting caught. And he called the cops. And I got arrested. I could have gotten off on a first offense. What happened, though, was I was powerless over alcohol. You know, I kept drinking. I had gotten the first offense paperwork in. It had gone past the judge. Had nothing to stop me from trying to get prescriptions again. And I found myself in a drug-stressed bed. And I said, now that sounds really bad. And it is. It wasn't like with a pistol. But it was sort of like that. And I was in real trouble. I mean, it's bad enough, the problem I was in before. Anyway, I hired this attorney. This attorney was law partner to Roy Barnes, former governor of Georgia. He is a criminal defense attorney. And he was a good attorney. And I know he was good because he charged lots of money. And my wife and I sat in front of him. He took an hour to say. I hate to tell you this, but we're going to have to plea bargain down from the four felonies down to two. And anyway, this was in April. And court date was in November. The attorney called up. We actually went and met with the district attorney. There's prison overcrowding. They looked at it. And there was no real prison overcrowding. I was able to get away with a year of intensive probation and ten years of probation. Here's the power of alcoholism. As we read, Pat works. It says, coming back. Well. When I was under the gun, facing going to prison, I kept drinking. As this was all happening, as this court case was going on during that time, it involved the adoption process. And my wife and I looked to adopt a child. We got with an attorney. He said, send out, let all your friends know. Try and do an open adoption if you possibly can. But in that process, we found out about an adoption agency that was opening in Thomasville, Georgia, which is the far southwest corner of Georgia. And we went through the process of adopting a child. And as it turned out. In April of 1987, a child was born, on April 29th, really. And so they called us up and said, would you like to come pick up this baby boy? And so on his, on day two, we said, yes. We went down there on day three. And when we went and picked him up, they had him in this laundry basket with a pillow and some towels on it. And he was, that baby, we put him in the car and we drove back to Atlanta. And this was one time, and I've mentioned times where it'd be a good time to quit. And that was a time when I thought, you know, I want to be a good father. I want to be a good husband. I want to be a good partner here. I want to raise this child right. And now's a good time to stop all this mess with popping pills and drinking and all this other kind of stuff. And yet, you know, we get back to Atlanta. We get to my house. I was there with my parents. My in-laws were there. But these were people I cared about and that I loved. And the baby's crying. There's lots of people in and out. And everyone here that's alcoholic knows just that anxiety that it can drive. And I know what'll take the edge off. I don't have any program of recovery in a couple of years. It's all it'll take. And so I'm back on. All these times that I had a chance to, you know, put that stake in the ground and say, here's where I'm going to quit. So I find myself in intensive probation. I get through that. And on probation, I could tell a story. I want to get right up to the sobriety date and things that happened after that. So it's April. It's 2001. That little boy has grown up. He's 13 or 14 now. It's spring break. We go down to Tampa. And on the Wednesday of the week that we're down in Tampa, my former wife gets a call. She needs to be back at work. So we drive back Wednesday, get back to town Wednesday night. And she's going to work the next day. But I go out to the Buckhead Saloon, which is where some of my buddies hang out and drink. And they had a head start. So they're drinking. I'm doing some kamikazes to try and catch up. And they're drinking their beers. I'm doing kamikazes. And so I catch a good buzz. She goes back to work. But I figure if she's going back to work, I'll go back to work, too. So we went back to work that Thursday morning. I'm sort of hungover. But, you know, as an alcoholic, you can go to work. You've got to make the money. You've got to do the things you need to do. But when I had hangovers, every now and then, I would take the edge off, if you will, by popping a few of those pills. So I got to work. I popped a few of those pills. And I was walking around in the common area. And all of a sudden, I'm getting this feeling. It's not the first time it's happened. But all of a sudden, you know, I'm sort of getting dizzy. I'm thinking, should I go to my office or whatever? Next thing I know, it's boom. And I'm down on the floor. And I hear people say, call 911. And I'm sort of flopping around on the floor. And I feed my hospital. They're shaking me. They're saying, breathe, Mr. Bell, breathe. They said, what? I said, I'm not breathing. So they said, you know, they don't like too much drinking or too much drug use. They want supervision. Now, see, she's picked me up from detox. She's taken me to the hospital. Is there any hope? And this became one of those tipping points in life. And I had to come to believe in the hopeless and futility in life as I've been living it. Is there any hope? I had to concede to my inner mind. I had to believe in myself. That's alcohol. I had gotten to that point of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. When she said, is there any hope, I really didn't know what to say. But she says, I'm on the way to pick you up. So she comes. And she and the doctor and the nurse are over there in the room talking. And I'm in the room with them. And they're talking about me. And I'm not in the conversation. Then the doctor walks over. He says, Mr. Bell. But I didn't say that. But he discharged. Come off one more . And you've been trying this recovery. So I found a place for you to go. And I said, well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And she said, well, I'm in the room with you. But you've been trying this recovery. So I found a place for you to go. And so she, quite literally, the next day, took me to this treatment center. I had a detox. There's a place called Penfield out east of Atlanta. And I got there. And then I came back. And I ended up in detox at Peachford. So let me ask this question real quick. How many people have ever been to the mental institute? Raise your hand. Yeah. Look at that. How many people have ever been to jail? Raise your hand. A lot of those same people. And the truth is, if you're an alcoholic, you're not a normal person. Right. of my variety and you do not take the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, that's where you end up. That's where you end up. One quick story about mental illness too. I went to an AA meeting and members of Alcoholics Anonymous that were responsible came in and they read off the title page of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous where it says the stories of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. Thousands. It's broad-based. It's millions, really. Millions. Men and women, it's inclusive, it says have recovered to regain our spiritual, mental, and physical health from alcoholism. And they talk a bit about alcoholism and really all I remember is they read off the title page because I was there with my colleagues in the Mental Institute and we were making fun of these squares coming into the AA meeting and of course when it's over, they pack up and go to Longhorn and have a steak or something like that into the Mental Institute. Those are the good old days. But that was the beginning of my recovery. So I go there and I go back to Penfield. I stay there six weeks and they say that's not long and I go back and they say that's not long enough. You need to go for more treatment and end up at this treatment center in Atlanta called MAR, Metro Atlanta Recovery Residence where they sent me to feeling school and all this kind of stuff. People are laughing but it was true. And so I went there but that's where the miracle of recovery happened. Not at the treatment center but the very first night I went to Peace Street Corners which is my first home group and I met my sponsor, Pat. He was walking around and that's the main reason I carry these books up with me is walking around with this big book and it's 12 and 12 and he is a guy that loves to read and I went to the big book study and I knew the big book was important and I didn't know why. I found out that it was the basic text a bit later but I asked him to be my sponsor and he asked one key question and he was willing to do whatever it takes to gain victory over alcoholism. And you know, in an elevator speech I found out why I need help from a higher power. After that's done I had to make a decision am I going to do anything about this so I got on that Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory and took that fourth step and as soon as I got it finished at the first available time my sponsor and I sat down and went through the fifth step. And he asked me one question did you leave anything out? Of course I did and I told him that too. And we took an hour and I did my sixth and seventh step. Things were objectionable I did the seventh step prayer and then he gave me guidance on making amends and as I was making amends he took me through step ten and continued to take a personal inventory and straightened out the wrongs I'd made. You know, in step eleven prayer and meditation I'd been starting on that from the day I met him because he told me about his prayer life that he was going to be going home that night and asking God or thanking God for letting him be sober that day and asking God for help the next day. So he got me on that process from really day one. You know, he knew that when the spiritual maladies are addressed we straighten out mentally and physically but when we got to step eleven we went through the guidance there. Then he told me the most unbelievable thing at four months sober he says, Robert, it's time for you to pray to help someone else. And right on the other side it says, working with others I said, are you saying I should sponsor people? And he says, yeah. And I said, but I'm unqualified you know, at that time they said, if you've got a year of sobriety and are willing to sponsor us I don't have a year. And he says, well, you know, if Bill had waited a year he'd have never gotten to Dr. Bob. He was working with him in May when he was six months sober. Dr. Bob sobered up June 10th when we celebrate AA's anniversary 1935. Seventeen days later he was helping Bill Donson. You've had the experience and you were fully qualified. And I thought, he's nuts. But, I did start praying to help somebody. I started sponsoring people. I've been sponsoring people ever since. And I'm fortunate to sponsor new guys as well as friends that at that time like I do. And we learn a lot from one another. If you get sober it's not just a bowl of cherries for the rest of your life. And, you know, I got back home and my dad, my mom was sick. He had gotten an infection in his pacemaker. He was in the hospital and I went to visit him. He wasn't doing very well. And I visited him on a Saturday morning and here's what he told me. He says, you know, Robert, there comes a time when every man in his life has to be prepared to meet his maker. He says, I make peace with God and I'm ready to meet my maker. I make peace with my fellow man. You know, at the time it's now, it's okay. And he is okay with that. And you know what? He passed away two days later and I was there with him. My wife was there. My son Stuart was there. He was 14 at that time. My brother was there and his sister was there. And, you know, we were able to be there and hold hands and read literature that he would like to hear from the Bible and things like that as he, as he breathed his last. And I was able to do part of the funeral that Friday. So he died on a Tuesday. We did the funeral that Friday and my wife did a little bit of talking and the preacher did some and I did the family eulogy and Stuart got up, my son, and read some of the 23rd Psalm. And many people read that at funeral and it finishes with, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Now, I couldn't imagine that inside of a year we would be reading that at my son's funeral Yeah. Stuart was 15 when he died. And it's a sad thing. 2002. My second year of sobriety. And he was getting ready to go to soccer camp. Last thing he said to me the night before was, Dad, make sure my soccer clothes are ready. He was in a blue popsicle and he was laid out on the sofa watching TV. So I went upstairs and went to bed. He went downstairs the next morning with my wife. I was up working and getting ready for work and she was getting ready to come in from a run actually and she says go down and get Stuart up getting ready for soccer camp. And as I went downstairs and looked straight ahead I couldn't believe what I saw. And looking ahead in the closet there's a rope hanging down and my son's feet were on the ground and his knees were bent and I got the phone and I called my sponsor Pat. And Pat says, oh my God, Robert, please show up. It's a crime scene. They have to make sure it's not a homicide. They found it to be just as I found it. But Pat was there and I did. And he said open it to page 63 and John did. And we did the third step prayer. It goes like this. God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou will. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thou will. Take away my difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those I might help. The power of God asked God to help me stay sober that day and he did. And I stayed sober every day. Standing there making coffee with Pat and looking out the front window and all of a sudden I saw this friend Art S pull up on his motorcycle and Matt E pull up in his car. I said, Art and Matt are here. And Pat said, yeah, I called Matt and he's sort of pulling the gang together from the home group. Before I knew it the home group starts one of his novels that was the best of times it was the worst of times. And you can clearly understand why this is the worst of times. The child that you wanted that you had asked for that had been delivered to you miraculously through adoption is now dead. How could it possibly be the best of times? Members of Alcoholics Anonymous showed up and showed care and love and I get chills just thinking about the love and care that they showed us. They helped us plan the funeral. They took care of the food. They took care of us for the next 10 days or so. Many stayed around. I had one lady that wrote a card every week. A card every week came in the mail for two years. And that's the kind of love that we were shown by members of Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm a program guy. If I sponsor you we're going through the big book and we're going to study literature and that is key but I never overlook the importance of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. What we have here we celebrate together we deal with life together we deal with grief together and we stay sober together. A couple other things that I'll mention challenges like that my wife lived with a drinking alcoholic for a number of years and we were making headway the loss of a child can be challenging we end up getting divorced she's doing well she's remarried and I'm glad to say that and 17 years ago plus working on 18 Carrie and I got married and I'm grateful that I'm married to Carrie so many things happen you know when bad things happen you don't know what's going to happen that can come out of it that's good but I'm thankful for that. I've been able to stay employed you know you come to AA and you don't know how you're even going to ever get a job back and I've sort of been able to navigate life and that's been great. You know I mentioned that whole felony thing and I got charged with felonies and one time I spoke here and a member of this home group actually came up to me and said you know Robert have you ever thought about applying for a pardon? I thought no I really never have. It was Tim M. He says well you ought to and he sort of told me some stuff and so I applied for a pardon in 2007 and it was probably who knows what time of year. Two years later on April 9th I got a sobriety date it was April 10th and it came in on April 9th so it was the day before my sobriety date and I ran in and found Carrie and I says you aren't going to believe this is either great news or it's terrible news but it was good news that's why I bring it up and so I'm going to read one sentence from it because I showed it to her she didn't catch it I showed it around in my home group nobody caught it I went and showed this to my sponsor and he found this one sentence and he read this to me and here's what Pat read to me he says whereas having investigated the facts material to the pardon applicant the investigation has established a law abiding citizen and is fully rehabilitated he said they did not call me you know you know the thing I love about Alcoholics Anonymous is we get together we live life together we laugh together we cry together the guys I sponsor we face challenges together and that's one of the wonderful things but when I think about Alcoholics Anonymous and think about the number of people here that we're new I want to read something that's important to me and it becomes ever more important as time goes on and it's from the Ford of the 12 and 12 and it talks about we're dealing with the 12 steps of the 12 tradition but in the paragraph it talks about the 12 steps it says it's a group of principles spiritual in their nature which a practice is a way of life can enable can expel the obsession to drink and enable to suffer to come happily and usefully whole and I believe that to be true when the big book says we believe God wants to be happy, joyous, and free that is true the way I experience my life is happy, joyous, and free I still miss Stuart I'd give anything for him to be here but I've learned how to build a life around the challenges of life so if you're new hang out with us and I will look forward to visiting with anybody that I don't know yet and those that I do know I'm looking forward to visiting with you as well so thank you very much thank you so much for your story Robert you appreciate it I've asked Alex to come up and give out the regular chips since we have some special ones later my name is Alex and I'm an alcoholic we have a chip system to mark our time in sobriety the first we offer is the white chip the newcomer chip coming in coming back we also have 30 days and we have 38 we've got a bronze for 6 red for 90 yellow for 6 months green for 9 months do we have any years or multiples we don't know about my name is Kimberly I'm not an alcoholic I was thinking my life is really great now I have a lot of awesome materialistic things but really I would not have any of it if it were not for ARA and I want to take credit for it a lot like I want to say I did this but that's not true at all with me and a lot of people in my home group as well for putting up with me for 5 years through some of the experiences that I've had and new emotions and feelings that I've had to walk through and a whole bunch of stuff that has happened in the last 5 years I wasn't alone for any of it at all I tried to push people out of my life thank you and we offer the white chip one more time and now Gene R will be giving out some medallions I'm Gene I'm Gene I'm an alcoholic we thank Alex for handing out the regular chips I've been asked to hand out the irregular chips you guys are both it's an honor to be here Robert thank you for your experience drink of hope a truly amazing story and a pillar of Atlanta sobriety you guys have been around for a long time in my hand I hold about a combined years of collective sobriety right here each one of these these men have been a big part of my life not just in sobriety but just in other parts of it and whether they know it or not we wouldn't be here tonight with this meeting for this meeting and being a part of this group and bringing speakers up here the first speaker that I'm invited to tell a story January 1st 2009 I was so nervous I asked him like in July I responded to him every time I saw him and he was like okay but he came he did a great job and he's on the he's on your lips you're one area very oldy goldy and thank you Robert awesome story I got a call from the CODA group in Dawsonville a couple months back it was our last snow day and it snowed in Atlanta and you couldn't get out of Atlanta hardly and Gainesville Dawsonville were okay they were they were it was a misty night meeting and I had to get up at 3.30 and I said if you put me down for next month I'll get them and I'll tell my story if you want me to and they said yeah and I said I'll try to get somebody and I call Robert and even with all the snow and ice he went up there and blew them away as you can imagine one of the more guys that Robert days of his recovery is a regular guy out there so it was a big event everybody thanked me I was like oh wow thank you thank you thank you and then Tinsley he's his name's on the birthday the second speaker and he was telling his story I just couldn't get into these talks and if you're on the road you travel online I do be able to download and hear some of your friends speak it's just incredible and thank you for all the service our next you get to hear a lot about this man just recently and he doesn't know it but I'm I'm still I moved back to Peachtree Corner the first time I ever saw you I think was in yeah well I didn't know I was just, we're joking for the meeting, we're both alive. I've just returned back. Whether it's in book studies, 8111, this place. I'm going to leave the mark high for us guys to strive for. I'm such an honor to provide you and give you your chips tonight, my friend. I've been making money for a run-down college for 24 years. Come on! So I'll start where I did before. But important to me, having a sponsor, sponsoring other guys, having a whole group, being in service, and being willing to say yes when asked and I'll call you. So thanks very much. I'm grateful for my support. A little bit over, I've got to tell one story about our message to the folder. And it was some guys I sponsored a long, long time ago. I was really struggling with this one sponsor. He couldn't find any hope. He didn't think he was going to have a life getting sober. He's got to have some cash. He was young. And he was just, he was a big music fan and all this. He was going to a widespread panic concert back in the day. And they were celebrating an anniversary. I wasn't going to the show, though. I wanted to. But I knew some things were going to happen at that show that were going to be pretty special. So I had some inside information. So I said, man, why don't you go to that show? And I want you to look for something. God's going to do something. And he's going to convince you to, you know, that you can have a life sober. And lo and behold, you know, he's there. He's there. He's there. He's there. They're sending me pictures. I'm living out the garage with my sober roommate. We live behind a ship. I have a whole other store. All of a sudden, my buddy goes, you're not going to believe me. He called him up. Hi, everybody. My name is Tim. I'm still an alcoholic. And I'm a drug addict, too. I don't mind hearing or mentioning that in the room. Because this program works for me from the neck up. And the way I do it is every day, I sponsor guys. Some of them are in the room. Some of them are in and out of the room. So thanks to doing all those things, I experienced that. the miracle of recovery, and the miracle of recovery isn't that I don't drink or drug, the miracle of recovery is that I don't want to drink or drug. So thanks for my sobriety.