Rewrote ‘To the Wives’ as ‘To the Husbands’ Before Step 1 Finally Landed – Leslie R.

About This Speaker Tape

Leslie R. shares her story at the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers Meeting at the NABBA Club. She first encountered AA in her thirties when her husband gave her an ultimatum after her drinking escalated while raising two young children, ages three and five. She attended meetings for six months but left, convinced she was different. At a women's retreat, Father Tom warned her the disease was progressive and nearly always fatal, but it took her another ten years of escalating drinking to make it back.

During those ten years, Leslie progressed from schnapps to brandy to vodka, drinking daily, throwing up daily, and passing out on the floor by 7:30 every night. Her daughters tried to stay out of the house as much as possible. Her younger daughter left a note under her vodka bottle that read "bad idea" with arrows and "we love you." She drove drunk to her daughter's water polo practice, was stopped by police on a Sunday morning, and routinely blacked out walking to the liquor store at the foot of her hill.

At 46, Leslie entered a 28-day rehab program in a run-down motel on North State Street in Santa Barbara. She was furious at her husband and rewrote the "To the Wives" chapter as "To the Husbands," convinced he was the problem. Slowly she began to listen. After rehab she threw herself into early morning meetings and found people with decades of sobriety and sharp senses of humor. A man with 35 years told her crying was good because "you don't have to pee as much," and she started to believe she might actually enjoy this life.

Sober, Leslie faced her father's death in Chicago, her younger sister's death from alcoholism, her older daughter's alcoholism and eventual recovery, an internet predator case involving her youngest daughter, and a ruptured appendix. Through each crisis, AA people appeared. She now lives in Georgia, travels to meetings across the country, visited Dr. Bob's house in Akron, and plans to attend the International Convention in Detroit. She reads the acceptance passage from page 417 and the Keys to the Kingdom story, closing with gratitude for the fellowship that replaced aloneness with belonging.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Meeting chair Sarah opens the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers Meeting at the NABBA Club and reads from the Big Book
• 3:00 Leslie describes entering the 28-day rehab on North State Street in Santa Barbara and rewriting the To the Wives chapter as To the Husbands
• 7:00 First attempt at AA in her thirties — attended six months, saw differences not similarities, left after failing to pick up her six-month chip at a women's retreat
• 12:00 Ten-year progression from schnapps to brandy to vodka — passing out by 7:30 PM, daughter's note under the vodka bottle, the cat balancing on her unconscious body
• 18:00 Getting sober at 46, early morning meetings, the old-timer who said crying is good because you don't have to pee as much
• 24:00 Younger sister's death from alcoholism — Jack and Coke, seizure, ten days in the hospital, playing Al Green and Barry White when she passed
• 30:00 Father's death in Chicago — the nun with 35 years who gave Leslie her house key and car key after meeting her three times
• 38:00 Traveling to meetings across the country — Dr. Bob's house in Akron, the giant pink elephant in Indiana, finding meetings via Pink Cloud app
• 45:00 Sober crises — husband's stroke, daughter's predator case, ruptured appendix, AA people appearing from the woodwork each time
• 50:00 Reads the acceptance passage from page 417 and the Keys to the Kingdom story — closes with gratitude for fellowship replacing aloneness