Relieve Me of the Bondage of Self — Thirty Seconds Every Morning That Changed Everything – Josh H.

About This Speaker Tape

Josh shares his story of growing up in a mixed-faith household in Atlanta, where his parents' divorce at age nine ignited a lifelong feeling that something was fundamentally wrong with him. Diagnosed with ADD and a growth hormone deficiency that left him 4'7" at thirteen, he became the class clown desperate for approval — attending eleven schools along the way. His first drink at fourteen, a Tropicano rum concoction at a friend's lake house, felt like a spiritual experience that erased his loneliness and social anxiety. By the next morning he was trying to shoplift mini wine bottles from a grocery store.

The consequences escalated through his teens and early twenties: underage arrests in Athens, Georgia (where he threw up on a cop's boots), blowing an entire summer's wages on one night of partying, driving on the wrong side of the road, and waking up chained to a hospital bed at Piedmont after mixing substances at twenty-three — only to resume using the same day. He describes how alcohol shifted from solution to hostage-taker, and how his social anxiety became so crippling he believed he had permanently broken himself. Every attempt at sobriety ended with the same lie — "just one drink" — followed by an immediate return to full-blown addiction.

After being evicted, having his car keys confiscated by his mother, and being dropped off at AA meetings, Josh asked a man he had previously dismissed to be his sponsor. Daily phone calls, weekly meetings, and the Third Step Prayer — a thirty-second act of surrender each morning — became the foundation of his recovery. He dove into the steps, did a radically honest Fifth Step that included his darkest secrets, and found freedom in multiple fellowships. In sobriety he performed stand-up comedy on television, toured cruise ships, and watched Higher Power restore his relationship with his parents. His father, who had taken him to his first meeting at twenty-one, gave him his sixteen-year chip shortly before passing away — their last words to each other were "I love you." Now seventeen years sober, Josh credits the program as a template for infinite growth, closing with the 12 and 12's vision of true ambition: the desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and Third Step Prayer reading from the Big Book
• 3:00 Growing up in a mixed-faith household, parents' divorce at nine, becoming the class clown
• 7:00 First drink at fourteen at a lake house, trying to shoplift alcohol the next morning
• 11:00 Growth hormone deficiency at thirteen, escalating drinking through high school
• 16:00 Arrested in Athens, Georgia — lying to the cop and throwing up on his boots
• 21:00 ATM incident at 3 a.m., waking up chained to a hospital bed at Piedmont
• 26:00 Crippling social anxiety, flying to Florida for therapy, relapsing at the keg party
• 31:00 Eviction, mother taking car keys, asking the rock-climbing guy to be his sponsor
• 36:00 Stand-up comedy on TV in first year sober, freedom from lust addiction, radical Fifth Step
• 42:00 Father giving him his sixteen-year chip, father's passing, closing with the 12 and 12 on true ambition