Physical Allergy and Mental Obsession – 164 Group 12 Step Study – Part 1 of 2 – Local AA Speakers

Good morning. My name is Lee, and I'm an alcoholic. So my sponsor always told me if I was nervous before I speak to go pray. So I prayed before I came up here. So if it doesn't go so well, you can take it up with my higher power after. So I'm going to talk a little bit about the doctor's opinion and step one. So in the doctor's opinion, Dr. Silkworth talks about the idea of an allergy And it's the allergy to alcohol And for me, when I was going through the steps and first coming into this program This was a very profound idea I didn't know what was going on in my body I didn' t know why I couldn' t quit drinking I didn''t know why every morning my first thought was drinking And in the doctor's opinion, it talks about the idea that alcohol is an allergy. An allergy just like someone has food allergies. An allergy, just like, someone has allergies to dust. And for me, this was important because it kind of gave me back some of my self-worth because it wasn't something that I created. It wasn't that, you know, it was all my fault because people can't help allergies. You know, allergies I'm born with. Allergies are things that I have to take medicine for. And fortunately for us, there is medicine for this allergy that we have. So the thing about the allergy that is important is the idea of craving that's really talked about in the doctor's opinion. The idea that drinking ceases to become a luxury, as it talks about in Bill's story, becomes a necessity. I begin to crave every drink I take. I don't have any more control, right? It's been taken from me. Because again, when I started drinking, it was great, right, I had some good times, it wasn't a problem. It was a luxury, something I enjoyed. And by the time I was done, I had no choice, right. Even if I said to myself, I'm not drinking today, it was a false promise, right because I couldn't control the craving my body created. So I think for me, again, it It was being able to relate to the idea of this allergy, right? Because again, I didn't know when I first came in here that I couldn't stop. I just knew I had a problem. Probably had to just be the alcohol, right. I'll try the daily drinking. I'll just drink beer and not liquor. We tried all these things, and now I know why it didn't work. It wasn't me, right, it wasn't because I didn' t have self-will. It wasn' t because I'm not that strong of a person. It's because I have an allergy. My body reacts to alcohol, and it's not good. It's never positive at the end. So another idea that's mentioned in the doctor's opinion is the idea of obsession as well. And my sponsor told me this one's a little more difficult to define or to describe. So I kind of defined it how I felt it and how I see it. So there were days and times when I could go to work. But every day when I was at work, my only thought was to work harder and faster so I could get done. Get done to do what? Get my fix, right? So no matter what I was doing, even if I was, you know, I could have been helping someone at the time. I wasn't doing it for them. I wasdoing it to get done so Icould get somewhere by myself to be able to drink. Eventually, I started taking those drinks with me into my place of work. When I was teaching class, I was obsessing and craving so much that I couldn't wait until afterward. It had to be during. I didn't have a choice because the craving became that much. And so to kind of sum up this idea, the allergy idea allows us to see the connection we have and to be able to relate to this idea of why can't I stop, right? What is wrong with me? There's nothing. You have an allergy just like you have a food allergy and someone that's allergic to strawberries doesn't eat them, right. It's a very simple concept. So why would someone who's allergic to alcohol keep drinking, right, because it will kill us. It's the deadly disease and I could relate to that idea and that opened my mind to the rest of this book and I think that was one of the key things that I took out of the doctor's opinion was, I see it. I see now where I stand and what alcohol did to me. And it was an allergy. So a little further in the doctor'S opinion, it then begins to talk about, we have all of these futile attempts to quit. That I can do this. I'm just not going to drink today. I got it. And the key thing that it talks about is the idea that it's I. I can quit. I can't quit. I tried. I tried the, I only drink beer. I tried to, I don't drink beer anymore. I only drank on weekends. I can do it. And so it talks about the idea that when I rely on I or self, I can quit. We have to do it with a power greater than ourselves. And Dr. Silkworth recognized this back in the 1930s. This was a base idea of AA is that you can't quite on your own. and I don't want to get in too much on step two but what the doctor's opinion offers is hope it offers us hope that there is a solution to my problem that has been never ending for years I saw no way out and the doctor'S opinion allows me to see that I have an allergy to alcohol so I can't drink because every time I take a drink I don' t know what' s going to happen I don''t know if I'm going to have two Yeah, right. It's not going to happen. Right? Or where I'm going to end up tomorrow because I won't remember the night. And I could relate to that. And I think a big part of the doctor's opinion and why it's the very front of the book is it creates this identification. I can identify with what this book offers. I can identity with the problems that I have. And this also gets now into step one. And I think one of the first things that we have to kind of realize in step one is identification. So, in order for me, or sorry, I'm going to say we. So, step one was we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable. In order to do this, I have to identify with everyone else in this room. Right? I have an identification that I can relate to what you went through because I don't know about you guys. When I came in, I was different. I was unique. You may have done that, but I did this, and that makes me different because we all like to be different. We do, and so part of this identification is the first couple chapters in the big book, specifically Bill's story, and as my sponsor told me, when I read Bill's story, it's twofold. One, yeah, I'm kind of learning about Bill, given, but read it in terms of how it relates to me. When he has these issues that come up, when he says I'm swearing off alcohol again and he goes out and drinks. Have you done that? Check. Have you gotten drunk at the worst possible time when everything was riding on it? Check. And so I begin to see again, I can begin to relate and identify with the problems this book presents because I've been there, right? Through Bill's story, I may not relate to it all. You know, I haven't been married, so I can't relate to lying to the wife and staying, but I can relate to lying, right, so I can put that in my life. Absolutely, I lied to get what I wanted. And so by reading these first couple chapters and specifically Bill's story, it allows us to relate to the alcoholic lifestyle. The lying, the cheating, the empty promises that we've made to ourselves. Every morning I promised myself I wasn't going to drink. For three years, couldn't do it. No matter how intent I was, I was done. I was at that turning point. I didn't want to drink anymore. I couldn't stop. right liquor had since ceased to be a luxury and it'd become a necessity i had i no longer had the power of choice and this leads to the idea uh and i'm going to talk about the first step kind of in two parts because you know in the first part of the first step it's that we were powerless over alcohol and this powerlessness relates to the allergy right when it comes into my body, I have no idea what's going to happen. None. And there may be some days when I have two or eight drinks and I'm okay and nothing bad happens. I don't know. That was luck. It's like the lottery. Right? And more often than not, I got something bad did happen. Right. I don't remember the night. I Don't know where I woke up. And so I was powerless. And this concept to me, after reading about the allergy and the craving and the obsession and being able to relate to that, absolutely I was powerless over alcohol. Because I had no choice. And it goes back to the idea of liquor was no longer a luxury. It became a necessity. I didn't have the power of choice. I drank because I had to. I drank because my body told me I had to. And if I made it through one day, which I couldn't usually, it was awful. It was the most miserable day I've ever had because my body was telling me I had to drink. I didn't have a choice. And so I think that's a very important part. And in Chapter 3, more about alcoholism, when it talks about this powerlessness, it talks abut the idea how we're all delusional. Yeah, I said it. We were delusinal. And why? Why were we delusitional? because we believe that someday we could be like everyone else. Someday I could have one beer and it not be a problem. And I wanted to believe that so bad. I did. I was delusional that, you know, the last 15 years of my drinking weren't a problem, I could fix it, and then I'll be okay. Give me a year to dry out, the allergy will go away, I'll do better. I'll get better. Right, and this is what I think one of the most important parts of step one is that this idea has to be smashed. Not, you know, I'll do it for a year and I'll be okay, right? Because what we're doing with step one, and well, up to step five, but through step one is we're creating a foundation, right, and there's a number of things that help us get through these steps. One is willingness. and in this part we're really trying to identify with the issue so the allergy and then admitting not suggesting this might be a problem I'm admitting wholeheartedly I'm an alcoholic I cannot drink and know what happens I have lost the power of choice and so that's that's the first half of step one we believe we were powerless over alcohol the second half for me personally was harder my life had become unmanageable because even though I was drinking every day for three years I still had a job my family had no idea I hadn't lost many friends so yeah I just drank every day but I could manage everything in my life, right? Keyword being I, again. I could manage it the best I could. And so my sponsor pointed out something to me I want to read in Two Wives that kind of, I think, summarizes this idea of unmanageable. Just because I have tangible assets in life, that I have a job and I have a family, doesn't mean my life is not unmanable. For me, it was the realization that if I pushed enough people away, I could manage my life. So eventually it became very lonely, right? That became unmanageable for me because I want to give love and I want to feel love towards people and I wasn't capable. But on page 105 of Two Wives at the very bottom says there was never financial security. Positions were always in jeopardy or gone. An armored car could not have brought the pay envelopes home. The checking account melted like snow in June. And this gets to the idea that I may have had a job, but I could have lost it tomorrow. Because like I said, I was drinking on the job. So the delusion that I was managing my life is unreal. And it baffles me now, you know, from when I came in to how this change has happened. and one of the things it also mentions in step 1 is the idea, and I want to kind of close with this in the doctor's opinion it talks about the empty promises we make we make all these empty promises to ourselves that we're going to quit I'm not going to do it today and more about alcoholism, it talks abut the idea of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization and those are the result of broken promises to ourselves right i don't know what's going to happen but when i drink and i wake up for breaking that promise to myself i feel lost i feel pitiful and i am demoralized because that's another promise that i've now broken to myself um so i hope uh you guys got a lot out of that i think it's 9 40 am i right toby I got three minutes? Oh, man. Uh-oh. I got five minutes? What if I don't want five minutes?" All right. I'm good? No. Let's see. What else can we talk about? Oh, all right. So funny enough, one of the things I love about going back into the book is all the new things I find every time I read it. And so in reading The Doctor's Opinion, I read a line that I had never read or I've probably read and never really related to. And it's on page, well, not page 30, but Roman numeral 30. Because in this book, right, I talked about the idea that we have to relate and that I am not unique from anyone else. And it says, all these and many others have one symptom in common. They cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. And that's the one symptom, in all of us, that brings us here. Because there are people I'm so jealous of, the people that can drink like I did on Friday and Saturday, and then Sunday they don't have to. or they don't think about it. That was my delusion, right? You partied with me all weekend. Why don't you need the 7 a.m. shot on Sunday? How do you get through a week without drinking and wait until Friday? And so I thought this was interesting because, again, one, we're not unique, and two, we have to be able to relate. And I can relate to the idea of craving. I can related to the obsession. And overall, I can relate to the idea of the allergy. And so, you know, I'm so glad that the first chapter of this book, Outside of the Forewords, gave me that relationship. Gave me that idea that I'm not different. And then it kind of, you Know, I am a guy that needs explanations. And in one paragraph, my entire drinking career was summarized. Right? I have an allergy. And if I have an allergy, like most people, I shouldn't do what causes that allergy to react. And so now, thank God, because of this book, I don't have to. Thank you. Lee Kay on Step 1. You know, he mentioned something while he was talking that one of the things he couldn't relate to in Bill's story was he wasn't married. Well, he won't have to relate to it by drinking, but I just want to announce that he just got engaged to a wonderful woman. And to Kirstie, I wish them all the best of luck and may she never have to worry about identifying with Bill with that portion. All right. To let you know, all the proceeds from this workshop are helped to benefit the central office, Tri-County. So if you have tickets or didn't have tickets and got past the door or whatever, you donated to a good cause. So let's keep that up. Next one is Step 2. And it's a pleasure to introduce, speaking on Step 2, Mr. Dominic B. Hi, everybody. Dominic, recovered alcoholic. Came to believe in a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. Sorry. Better? You know, coming to believe, you know, if you don't believe in the power greater to yourself, the rest of these steps just will not work. And that was my experience. I first came into the fellowship back in 97 and kind of half-stepped this. And the experience that I had was not freedom, I can tell you that. What I had was fear and fellowship. I lived in the rooms, you know sometimes two three meetings a day and that's how i stayed sober and i gotta tell you that was hell it wasn't it wasn'T freedom today because i have come to believe in a power greater myself i have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything so long as i'm spiritually fit and what a what a wonderful ally i have you know i came in powerless and today i have more power that I know what to do with. The thing is, it's not my power. It's on loan. And with that, like I said, I came in 97 and really wasn't sure if I wanted to be here. Knew I had a problem. Had no problem with admitting. But, you know, Bill talks a lot about the prejudice. And, you know, I had all those same prejudices when I came in over organized religion you know i i looked at certain things about uh certain faiths and it's like well you know yeah that works for them but it doesn't work for me and what a relief when i finally uh you know went over from the bridge of reason to the shores of faith what an exciting experience that was. I mean, you really can't explain it in words. And with that, I'll just talk to you a little bit about my process of coming to believe. Like I said, when I first came in in 97, you know, I kind of half-stepped this. And for some miracle i have to say you know i was able to stay sober for three and a half years but it wasn't recovery and it definitely wasn't i mean it was just dry so i relapsed and i relapse right after a meeting so i guess the whole you know fear and fellowship thing really doesn't work it might work for a time but in the end you will drink again and that was my experience so when i came back i got with these big book thumpers you know the people i used to avoid the people that actually had what I was looking for, I just didn't know it. They started taking me through this book and when Bill started talking about his prejudice it just really hit me like a ton of bricks because I had the same prejudice against organized religions, against the God concept. I could relate to Bill when he said the spirit of the universe, the father of light, creative intelligence. I could buy into all that, but when it came to a God in heaven presiding over all who was going to damn me if I do the wrong thing, that's where I parted ways with that. We agnostics really changed me going through. Finally, I was faced with that question, either God is or God isn't. What was the question? I could no longer evade what was that going to be for me. You know, and I was beat. When I came back in, I was beaten. You know? I was willing to do whatever it takes, even if it meant God. And what a great decision I made. Because today, I have freedom. I'm free to go anywhere I want. I can do whatever I want, so long as I take God with me. You know. I get up in the morning, he's the first person I talk to. As I go through the day, I continue to talk to him. I stay in contact. You know, I used to believe that the second step was about, oh, doing the same thing over and over, expecting, you know, different results. And it's not about the insanity. It's about being returned to sanity. You know? It's a matter of time. It's not God doing this for me. It's all I had to do was seek. I looked for him and he showed himself to me. And it was really that simple. It was so simple that it amazed me. I remember sitting with my sponsor when we were going through this and when we hit our knees and did that third step prayer, it was just like it's described in the big book. I felt that wave come through me.I felt that peace. And that was the presence of God. And it has been tremendous. And there's other people, oh, that's a pink cloud. You're going to lose that. You don't have to. I haven't lost it yet. All I do is I continue to pray and ask for help. And he just continues to grow. Maybe it's me that's growing. But I haven'T lost it Yet. You know, I know people in this fellowship that have been sober for a long time and they haven't lost it yet either. So if you're on that pink cloud, welcome to your spiritual awakening and you can ride that as long as you want, so long as você estiver bem-aventurado. You're spiritually fit. Boy. The process of coming to believe. Now that was a real hard one, you know, because it was a process. I had to start with just the very basic idea of what God was, however inadequate it was. My first thought was just, okay, you know what? I exist. Life itself. And that's where I started. Just that simple. I was able to believe in just the fact that I live and breathe. That's got to be a miracle in itself. So I used that as small as that was. Of course it's changed since, but the more I just let go of what I thought, because that's really what had to change. What had to changes was my thinking. I relied too much upon my own reasoning, my own thinking, and I had to just start believing in faith, living by spiritual means. Because I was the only thing blocking myself from God. It wasn't, you know, the outside world. It was my own calamities inside of me that kept me blocked because, you Know, Bill talks about the great reality found deep within us. And for me, that's where God was found. It was when I took a good look inside me. You know, that is where he was found, and I had a clean path, but it wasn't that hard, and he didn't make too hard of terms for me. You know all I had to do is have the willingness to believe and that was the start but the process of going through that willingness and maintaining that willingness to the point to where I was finally convinced that God was going to be everything and that's the reality for me today is God is everything and with that am I good? I can't see the clock from here that's either god is or god isn't it's you know that's the second stop you know can't reach a you know can't restore you to sanity unless you believe you know nothing really works unless you believe in it with that thank you thank you let me share I've come to believe we've made up some time. All right. Thank you, Dominic. That was great. All right, once again, I don't know if I mentioned, but we have a 50-50. Great deal on tickets. They're about 100 pennies each. Yeah. we'll go ahead and uh go with step three um and if you want to buy the tickets for the raffle they're right over here just to let you know we will be raffling off a basket during the morning break at approximately 10 35 depending on how this goes so uh without much further ado Mr. John C, step three. Good morning everybody I'm John C and I am an alcoholic and I have to say that it's great to see faces from different groups here all together for one cause does my heart good I don't do enough I realized this morning in fellowship in this area I kind of stick with my groups but it's great to see everybody together and yeah so step three tells me that I'm the problem and that was that was hard for me because for so long I mean I would tell you I was the problem, but really in my heart, I knew it was this guy or that guy. And, uh, you know, and, and that justified, uh, why I drank and why I did what I did. Um, but I have to say that in taking step three, it really became the cornerstone, uh, for my program. And many times throughout the day, you Know, I shortened that third step prayer to just simply your will not mine and uh in many times uh that uh that removes the fear you know because i entered into a contract with god and uh i did that because no matter how hard i tried my show never came off very well um you know i was self-will run riot personified um you know the book talks about a collision course uh that that myself will put me on with with other people and uh even if even if my intentions started out good if the uh if the motivation was was out of selfishness or fear or jealousy or any of those character defects that I had so many of even if things turned out well even if I had everything even if I had the house or the car or the job I still never felt satisfied I think that's the word I never had any peace or any serenity because it it's almost like it was attained through ill-gotten means because my motivations weren't just right And invariably, to get there, I had to step on somebody. And my selfishness makes, when I'm selfish, it makes anything possible. I'm capable of literally anything. I'm able of bad-mouthing another employee to get a job. I'm capable of stealing money from people who did nothing but work hard all their lives I'm not swinging the hammer I'm just telling the story here I'm capable of thinking it's okay to pick up my sons when I've had a few too many or attend to many. So again, I'm the problem when I'm in self-will. But the good news is that God's a solution. And when I turn it over to him, I get unaccountable amounts of blessings. Because I found that I was, all the time, would get grace or mercy. Things I really didn't deserve or earn, but just through God's grace and mercy, he saw me through to another day, even though I did nothing to earn that. But when I turned my will over and I let him take care of the big stuff and I just do the next right thing, I start seeing blessings. And I have to tell you, for this guy, the blessings have been beyond my wildest dreams. I have relationships with my family. I have relations with my sons who are out watching WWE on their cell phones in my car. I have a car. My kids have cell phones. But it's not a game show, you know what I mean? I didn't win these prizes. It's not prizes. It goes so much deeper than that because I got out of the way and I got some relief, you know, relief of the bondage that I placed myself in. And I just have to also say that until I realized I was the problem, I was an expert at pointing out everybody else's character defects. I could list them ad nauseum for everybody. But when I turned it inside and I don't want to get into the fourth step here too much but you know it was a great moment for me. I put it that way. Just give me a second, sorry. I have here the third step questions that were asked to the first 100 in this fellowship. And the great thing about doing this step for me is that I get a chance to do a third step today. And I hope that you'll all participate with me in your minds as I go through these questions and I'm going to expand a little bit on them as I know what my thoughts are as I'm answering these questions. But I hope you'll take this opportunity to do the third step today and really turn it over again and get that relief the first the first question was are you convinced about steps one and two well it didn't take a lot for me to to realize that my life was unmanageable the second part of the first step because there wasn't one thing that was manageable those of you that have heard my story before know that the post office stopped delivering mail to my house because the mailbox had become so full. I mean, that's their one sole thing in life. That's what they live for, and they said, we're just going to skip that house. And you know it killed the guy. You know it kill them. And then when I saw the unmanageability, then I realized that I really was powerless when I started looking at all the things I had done to stop. And there's a lot of things I had done, and a lot of the insane drinking before big events, the self-sabotaging, all that. So if I realize I'm powerless, that takes me to step two, and if I'm powerless, then obviously something has to have power, so step two was kind of easy for me. And I realized that alcohol had really been my higher power for a long time and it served me well initially but for a very long time uh it took it just at the end of the day it took everything from me uh the second question are you convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success no matter what I got no matter what I did in self-will I never spent one second grateful for it it was always next thing what can I get next or he's got more or she said this I was never grateful you know I could have a great meal in a great restaurant and they'd say did you like it I'd go eh nothing was ever good enough for me and that's because there was a hole in my soul that I couldn't fill that nothing from outside could fill. I had to fill it myself because again, I'm the problem. The third question is are you convinced that your troubles are basically of your own making and that they arise out of you and that you are an extreme example of self-will run riot? Again, everything and my life's on fire when I try to run it. There's no peace, there's no serenity. I'm on a collision course with the entire world and it usually, and it always ends badly. Are you convinced that you must be rid of this selfishness? That's where my last day, my last drunk initially came in handy for me. Because if you'd have told me 10 years before that, that I would ever be that guy, I'd have said no way. I'll bet anything. I would never be that guys. And all of a sudden, when... I like the first two words of the second step, came to. When I came to and I got out of the fog and things started catching up with me and I started realizing it, I didn't have any way to drown out the memories or to justify what I had done. you know, that I realized that it was my own selfishness that put me where I'm at. And the fifth question is, are you convinced that your selfishness is killing you? I know I wanted to die. I know that all the years of taking and taking and taking left me with a very low opinion of myself. I made up for it in ego, though. Sixth question is, are you convinced that there is often no way of entirely getting rid of self without a higher power's aid? Now honestly, when I read this question and I think about the first time I went through the third step, I don't know that I was convinced. but I know that I was desperate. I know that I didn't have the answer anymore, and I know that I knew that I'm the problem. Clearly, of all the things that were going on in my life, and none of them were good, there was a common denominator, and that was John C. I tried everything else, and I literally came to the point where I had nothing to lose. Are you convinced, question seven, are you convinced that you have to quit playing the role of a higher power that it never worked? Let's just say as a director I wasn't Martin Scorsese. It's probably more of one of those movies that go direct-to-video that you watch it and you go, oh, well there's two hours I'll never get back. Gigli with Ben Affleck comes to mind immediately. Sorry, Ben, if you're out there. Question eight. Are you convinced that a higher power is going to be your director, father, and employer? This is where it gets good for me because I was convinced. And I love the idea. And we're going to close with the third step prayer today. But I love that prayer, the relief of bondage of self. and I had taken on so much responsibility in my life for everything, for everyone nobody asked me to I just took it because it had to be my way that I was exhausted living a double and triple and sometimes quadruple life. I was so tired of it um, that I couldn't, I mean, I hate to say it, but it's almost like I was like, yeah, you take it for a while, you know? And that's where we come to a funny point, uh, with, you know, with turning it over and, uh. Maybe not funny, maybe interesting. Um, some people are, some people differ on this. I've talked to a lot of people about it and some people take their will back when things are good. They want to, when things start going good, they want to say, all right, God, I've done all this and you were there when things are bad, but that's fine. For me, what I do is it's easy for me when things are going good to give a nod upstairs and say, really, bro? Really, you're going to give this to me, to this guy? I call my higher power bro. I don't know if that's my concept. But when things get tough, that's when I want to take him out of the bus. I said my bus one time and Bill O called me out on that. Whose bus is it? I want a ticket. I want God out of this bus and I want to start driving again because I know better and I know it works for me. And my higher power is funny. He will give me the exact amount of pain back that I want by taking my own will back. You know, if I take, if I take my will back at my job, it'll give me problems with my boss. If I takemywillbackwithmyex, I'll have problems in that area. You know? It's just amazing how quick it happens. And it just depends on how much pain I want to take for how many days I want to take it. And then eventually, inevitably because of you and because of this program I end up saying oh yeah you're right I'll turn it over and as soon as I turn it over maybe make an amends who knew not just good not to skip ahead do an inventory making amends how quickly I get back in the in the center of the boat where was I now okay question three four five six seven eight nine question ten are you convinced that you have thought well about taking this step we didn't do nine are you convince that a higher power is going to be your director principal father and employer okay who's an accountant in the room Lee can you can you help us out here all right anyways it's okay it's it's J that's why I'm getting confused because their letter they're not numbered are Are you convinced that you have felt well about taking this step? And this is where my sponsor told me to, you know, after we did it, read the prayer again before you go to bed. Sleep on it. Wake up in the morning and do the prayer because this is, like I said, this is the cornerstone, man. You're entering a contract, and entering a contract, particularly when you're not an alcoholic, means something. It means I have responsibilities now, and that responsibility is to every day turn it over and live in his will. And God has all the rest. I really have the easy part. You know, all I have to do is the next right thing. And the next Right Thing, by the way, is two things. It's kind of what your heart says. We all know. We all knows when you can go either way. We all now what the Right Thing is. Or I always likened it to what would make my grandmother proud of me. You know? Aww. and then the last question that they asked was are you convinced that you could at last abandon yourself utterly to a higher power utterly is a strong word but I know when I do it utterly I walk through days and I have a smile on my face and people are genuinely glad to see me and I don't think about what I can take from a situation but what I an bring to a situation and it frames me in a place where I can be of maximum service to others and that is really where to me that's heaven, that's haven on earth for me and if you do the third step I'm going to read the third set promises These are the first set of promises that touched me, and when I'm living the steps and when i'm working with others and carrying the message, if you're new to this, I can honestly say and I haven't encountered anybody that has said, well that promise never came true to me if I was working or true for me if I were working the program. It's on page 63, first paragraph. When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new employer. Being all-powerful, he provided what we needed if we kept him close and performed his work well. That's my part of the contract. Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more, we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. Not what can I take, but what can I bring? As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as мы discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter. My favorite line in the book, we were reborn and out of that sense of desperateness that sense of hopeless hopelessness incomprehensible demoralization who needs to be more reborn than the alcoholic and we get it we get up we get with these steps and we turn it over and by doing that I get more peace of mind today I get out of my way and I let God take over I have acceptance today for the outcomes acceptance was a word that you might have been speaking Martian to me because I could never accept any of the outcomes and I know that when things don't it's not the end of the world. If something today doesn't go my way, and even that what does even that mean? Doesn't go my way. Maybe it didn't go me way today but maybe a year from now I realize oh that didn't go my away because of this. So you know the outcomes of things are when I'm doing the program I can accept the outcome as God's will And now, I'd like to close with the third step prayer. God, I offer myself to thee To build with me and do as thou wilt Relieve me of the bondage of self That I may better do thy will take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power thy love thy way of life may I do thy will always Amen. Thank you. Applause John C., step three. Yeah. He called for an accountant in the middle of step three, imagine that. Yeah, but legally speaking, and I can speak from that professionally, if you skip a number in one of those things, it's legally waived without recourse. All right, so, never mind. all right uh we're now scheduled if you guys have you should have uh schedules on on each table or you can get them um just a note about that there's this wonderful little group over it's not so little really over in druid hills which is near temple terrace druid Hills and then that uh called the mad dogs group and they helped out they're a great uh solution based meeting woohoo my dogs And they've helped out regularly with this workshop, and I'd like to give them recognition. They also helped make these brochures, folded them up, and made sure they were here on time. So I really give them kudos. All right. Thank you so much. They're also very good at building stone architecture from Druid Hills, you know, like Stonehenge. Just kidding. All right, well, we're running a little ahead of time, So we're going to go ahead and take our morning break just to let you know.