Page 75 Has Ten Promises Nobody Talks About — Including the One Where the Obsession Gets Removed Right There – Ted H.

It's my pleasure now to introduce our speaker for this afternoon, Ted H. from Palos Verdes, California. My name is Ted Harbach and I'm an alcoholic. And I'm alive and sober today by the very special grace of a loving God and the loving program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And it isn't too good for my ego to be a substitute speaker. I think they waited until the last minute to see if they could find somebody else with a southern accent. But then if I wasn't a substitute speaker, I might not be a speaker at all. You know, there's a lot of places that I could be on a beautiful Sunday in Southern California, other than here. But I would rather be here at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous than be here at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. with my family than any place in this whole entire world. And I'd like to just start out by saying that I love every one of you from the bottom of my heart. You see, anything I am today or ever will be, I owe completely to the magic program of Alcoholics Anonymous and you people of the fellowship. And it wasn't always that way. Today, my life is different. It wasn't always as Alcoholics Anonymous-oriented as it was alcohol-oriented all of those years. And I belong to you. The reason I couldn't come up earlier was because I had a prior commitment that I could not break. Because of this fellowship and the program, a number of years ago, I was able to say, I'm going to start skiing with my little daughter. My daughter's been sober on the program of Alcoholics Anonymous 13 and a half years. That's no big deal. She's only 13. And she has a great deal of trouble with the program of Alateen, you see, because she's never seen her mom or her daddy take a drink of alcohol or any mind-altering chemical. And we got her into a little ski club this year. And yesterday was family day. And we'd made a commitment to go on that deal because she likes to show off her daddy. And I just love to watch that little gal ski. And so we'd made that commitment. And that's why I look like an owl this morning because that's what happens when you ski in the bright sunshine. And I'd like to thank you all for coming out here. And I'd like to thank you all for coming out here. And I'd like to thank you all for coming out here. And I'd like to thank you all for coming out here. And my life is just involved with Alcoholics Anonymous. A few weeks back, we went to Chuck Chamberlain's memorial down Long Beach. And he was terribly, terribly important in my sobriety. And those of you who were unfortunate and not being able to be at that memorial, why, I suggest you get that tape. It's just beautiful. And then a few weeks back, why, we did the Southern California Convention. And after that was over, why, on Sunday we went to one of my baby's houses and helped him celebrate his 12th year on the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And that Sunday evening, we went to the Hilton Hotel to the Valentine's annual dance in support of the Vesper House, which is an alcoholic recovery home for women in the San Francisco area. And we went to the Hilton Hotel in San Fernando Valley. My wife and I support some half dozen recovery homes for women. And the reason that we do that is it seems to me that there are a lot of places for the men, but there are still very few places for the suffering alcoholic woman to go. And I'm involved in Alcoholics Anonymous. Two weekends ago, I don't know why we went to them, but I went to one of the most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous and most famous in Southern California. And Bea was the first person that got the program of Alcoholics Anonymous into the institutions, the first one that got the program into the L.A. County jails. And she's pushed over 3,000 grateful hearts through Friendly House in Los Angeles. It was a beautiful memorial. And after that, why, we went over to Friendly House, to an open house. And while we were there, I saw a little girl. And she was sitting on the couch. And her left leg was in a cast clear to the hip. And her little battered face was healing up from all of the surgery and the scar tissue. And that little girl, I used to hold her in my arms when she was five years old, when I was just a newcomer to the program. And I remember, but on last New Year's Eve, because of the drug alcohol and other mind-altering chemicals, it was necessary for her to steal her father's brand-new Cadillac. And she spent New Year's Eve and the weeks following that in the L.A. County prison ward, the L.A. County hospital, because that night she told her father, in the father's car, and killed two people. She's now being indicted for murder. And I was able to sit down next to her and put my arms around her one more time and tell her it was going to be all right by the grace of God and the loving program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And there she was in Friendly House because of you loving people, able to get a brand-new start one more time. And I pray to God this time she can make it. It seems to me that the more I try to give away, the more it comes back. And it wasn't always that way. It wasn't always that way. See, I was born an alcoholic and the reason I know that was the first word my mother said was, my God, did you see how much he drank? And I was only an hour old. And that's all I heard for the next 39 years. My God, did you see how much he drank? And then people would say, the trouble with you, Ted, is you just can't handle your alcohol. If they'd had any idea how much I was handling, they'd have had a spiritual awakening. See, because I was a pig. And I'd not go anywhere, do anything, and I'd be like, I'd be with anybody unless alcohol was involved. If I had the slightest suspicion there wouldn't be enough, I brought my own supply. You can tell an alcoholic from a social drinker, an alcoholic's glass is either full or empty. They have just come back from or they are on their way to. In fact, I don't really believe that social drinkers should be allowed to drink. They don't know anything about it. And they waste so much. And then they say things that to me are just intolerable and just are beyond all understanding. You know, things like, what did I do with my drink? Or, no, I don't think I'll have another one. And I'm beginning to feel it. Or completely foreign terms like, no, thank you. Eighty percent of the booze that's manufactured is consumed by twenty percent of the population. Guess who knows how to drink? The other people I can't stand are the ones that stand up at podiums like this and say things like, I didn't like the taste of it and I didn't like the smell. And they'll love it. And I loved everything about it. I even loved the smell of those bars the next morning at six. That's the dedication of a real professional. And you can become a professional if you just hang in there. Lie a lot. I got into alcohol real early because my mother was of the old school that thought if you were weak, puny, and sickly, a little fortified wine would build up your blood. So I spent the first sixteen years of my life becoming weak, puny, and sickly. And right from the beginning it all tasted the same. It all tasted like more. And I got into real booze when I was sixteen. I went over to a friend's house for his sixteenth birthday and his mother served martinis that day. And I don't know what happened. I just sat down to have a couple of quatsies. I had martinis with a few intimate friends and when I got up from the table twenty-three years had gone by. And I'd never planned on having that happen. And finally when I ended up my life was all over and I was thirty-nine years old. And I came out of my last alcoholic blackout and I was in St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica and I was looking up at my doctor and he was saying, I was trying, I could tell. He was getting me all wet. And their doctors are some dramatic, you know, they're almost as dramatic as police officers. When a policeman looks down at you with that little vein jumping in and out on his head and says something real articulate like, You've been drinking, haven't you? I don't know why they even bother to ask. They already know the answer. Two beers. And they give them the answer so they can pass the police test. I mean, do they honestly think we're going to tell them the truth? You know, oh, sure, officer. I just polished off a six-pack of Cutty Stark and me and my friend are splitting a quart of beer on the way home here and nobody else is in the car. So I looked up at my doctor and I said, why are you crying? He said, because, damn you, you've killed yourself. Ha ha, finally. I said, oh, really? What killed me this time? I mean, they honestly think that death can scare an alcoholic of my caliber. Are you kidding? I'd have welcomed it. Besides that, death holds no fear for me. I've sat down across the table six times in my life and talked to him just like I'm talking to you. Death holds no fear for me and I can tell you why. Today, I can tell you. All my life, I was taught that everything was the end of something. The end of a pregnancy, the end of a birth, the end of childhood, the end of a marriage, the end of a job, the end of this, the end of that, and life was just the end. However, through this program, I've been taught that no matter what I'm looking at, all I have to do is turn the coin over and look at the other side. And on the other side, I see that everything is the beginning of something else, the beginning of a life, the beginning of a relationship, the beginning of a relationship. beginning of sobriety. And when I carry that out to the end, why, death, therefore, can only be the beginning of something else. But being inquisitive, I said, oh, really? What killed me this time? Same old thing. He said, booze. I said, oh, come on, you've been telling me that for ten years. He said, no, seriously, you've gone too far. I said, really? How far is too far? He said, well, you have alcohol, gastritis, cirrhosis of the liver, hemorrhagic pancreatitis, you have two ulcers that are hemorrhaging, you're bleeding out of every aperture of your body, we push seven pints of your blood type and we're all out, we can't push any more, and besides. I said, oh, is there more? I was really getting interested. He said, yes, if you don't promise me you'll never drink again as long as you live, I won't even treat you. I said, I promise. Not a moment's hesitation. Ten days and a thousand dollars later, I was back out on the street and I was drunk again and he told me I'd not do that anymore. Then I got another attack of pancreatitis. By this time I was drinking two-fifths a day. And that was just to keep my blood alcohol content at that comfort level. For all fear, people, places and things were gone and the world was round and smooth and it was my pineapple and all rough edges and the sharp corners had fallen off. That point where my insides matched your outsides and no longer did I feel like an alien on a foreign planet and nobody had given me the brochure. Just that amount of blood alcohol level that made me able to do the one thing I wanted to do all my life, just step out easy. When I got that blood alcohol level, I was in a state of shock. I was in a state of shock. After that attack of pancreatitis, I knew that I couldn't drink for three days. I've experienced some exotic pain in my life. I've bent and broken almost every bone in my body and I blew up my head deep sea diving. And I have never experienced pain like pancreatitis. I hurt so bad I had to get out of bed to turn over and I knew I couldn't drink for three days. By this time I was living in the skid row of my very own design, the unfinished concrete basement of an old beat-up house. This old place, I was in a Chicago barn. It was DO a long time ago. I've compromised so many things over days that my si vidity has been so thick. I've now been stucke r wipe by the same gang that turned me straight. Iниеjuing 66 years at the date, I want was simply today. I know the fu remember, and I remembered. You see, I'd admitted ten years before I got to this deal that I was an alcoholic, and I'd read the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous while drinking, and I don't advise that because my book looks like an old coaster. And I'd read the Jack Alexander article, and I used to go to your dumb meetings. I used to go once every two years. Well, you told me to come back. I guess I went to the wrong meetings. In fact, the first meeting I went to, we never got there. One of these people that was busy trying to rescue me called me one night. I tell you, if I'd had one more friend, one more dime, and one more free Al-Anon trying to rescue me, I'd have died. The thicker I got, the more they were lined up at the front door. It's just incredible. Are there any Al-Anons here tonight? Might you raise their hands? I have a lot of nerve. Oh, there's a few. Ladies of perpetual revenge. I heard a very interesting statistic at the San Fernando Valley Convention I'd like to pass on. It might be interesting to you. They have finally discovered that there is absolute irrefutable proof now that alcoholics have at least two distinct personalities or more, and Al-Anons have one or less. Now, I'm going to come back in my next reincarnation as an Al-Anon now. It's really the ideal program. You can work the steps and drink. So this snaggly-toothed barracuda called me this one night and said, let's go out and have some fun. I said, I can't. I've got to do something about my drinking. I've got to go to A&A or something. And she said, oh, well, there's a great meeting at Malibu tonight, and they are our kind of people, whatever that is. And she said, you know, a lot of them still drink anyway. They know how. And that appealed to me. And I knew that we'd made a disastrous error when we slid into a four-foot, I mean, a four-wheeler. Drift going out of the first turn out of Beverly Hills. And she was already steamed to the eyeballs. And when we hit that first signal at Beverly Glen, there was about a 60-mile-an-hour four-wheel slider there. I ended up at the signal broadside. But you see, my higher power has never abandoned me. And right then, a half-gallon of vodka rolled out from under the front seat. And I tell you about that. By the time we got to Malibu, we were all right. I was back in the days when it was held at the sheriff's station, and they said, no, the meeting is tomorrow night. But they were so excited to see us, they wanted to keep us. But the next meeting I went to, I guess, was the wrong meeting, too. I think it was in the old French Foreign Legion Hall or somewhere in Beverly Hills. And nobody paid the light bill, and you people looked just exactly like I knew you would. The room was dim and dismal, and you were all lined up around the perimeter walls with your heads in your hands. And you were old. I mean, some of you were 40. You had some skinny little outfit standing up there at the micro. I didn't know she was standing there for a long time. She was turned sideways. And finally, she turned around, and I thought, my Lord, that's a good girl. And I said, well, I'm not going to be a good girl. I'm going to be a good girl. I don't know if she'll be a good girl. I don't know. I'll stop here, and I'll figure out what we're doing. I thought, my God, honey, if you got anything, hang on to her. And I thought, besides, what's a stepper like me doing in a dead-end outfit like this? But on my knees in that concrete basement of that house in Silver Lake, a different picture came to my mind. And I remembered a meeting that I'd been to, and one of the old-timers had come up to me, and he said, you know, Ted, I don't think you're going to make this deal. I don't think you've hit a bottom. He says, I think you're going to have to go out and get beat up some more because you're just chippying around with this program. He said, this is a program for people that want it, not people that need it. But he said, you know, I pray to God you'll remember something. And what he next says is my image of what Alcoholics Anonymous really is. He said, I pray to God that one day you'll reach a bottom beneath which you cannot go, and it's different for everybody. A bottom either physical. Or mentally. Or morally. Or emotionally. Or financially. Or socially. Or spiritually. Beneath which you cannot go. And he said, when you reach this bottom, he said, I pray to God that you'll remember there's a magic place where you can come. A magic place, he said, where I can guarantee you, you can find a way of living your life comfortably with unsolved problems without ever having to drink again as long as you live. And where you will meet people that will end up meaning more to you than the members of your very own family. Because when you need these people, they'll be there just for you. No matter how dark the day, they'll be there for only one reason. And one reason alone. Because they care. And they call this magic place Alcoholics Anonymous. He said, in this magic place, I guarantee you, I guarantee you, I guarantee you, you will be able to find a God of your very own that you can take with you wherever you go so you need never be alone again as long as you live. And they call it Alcoholics Anonymous. So I came back to a little park on Roxbury in Beverly Hills where I grew up and used to play as a kid. And that's where I found those old-timers with 20 and 30 years of sobriety that walked the walk and talked the talk of Alcoholics Anonymous. And it seemed to me they wore their sobriety like a crown. And they were doing the one thing I'd wanted to do all my life. They were just stepping out easy, but they were doing it. Without taking any mind-altering chemicals or drinking any alcohol of any kind. And somehow, in the madness of insanity that was to be mine for a long time, I wanted what they had. And I came back. That night, when I walked out of that first real meeting, of Alcoholics Anonymous, it was April Fool's Day, which is a good day for me, of 1968. And when I walked out of that meeting that night, my God looked down on me and he removed the obsession to drink from me forever, never to be returned. And I believe today I know just a little, in part, why that happened. It happens to about half of us, my book says, the rest of you will have to wait until that time in the program where it's promised. And my prayer for each one of you is that you can reach that point before it's too late. Before the test comes. And the test will come. You see, my only authority is the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I find I need no other. Because embodied within this book, this volume of the magic book, reps are how you keep it turned over for the rest of your life and that's all there is to it. And it's as simple as that. In fact, you don't even have to take the first two steps. Because that's what it says in my book. Right after that part is chapter five that you heard read this afternoon. It says, made clear, three pertinent ideas. A, that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. B, that no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. And C, that God couldn't do it if he were sought. The next sentence in my book says, being convinced of the truth, we were at step three. That's it. And if you're not convinced, I'm afraid you're going to have to go out and get beat up again by whatever it is you do out there in the street until you're convinced. You might read the doctor's opinion in the first part of the book a hundred times. That might convince you. Ninety-nine times will not do it. I pray to God you don't have to go back out. But until you can satisfy that admonition in chapter three which says we learned, do not ever come back out. And confuse learning with what goes on between your ears. This is nothing but a computer up here. And you get the same thing out of it you get out of any computer. Garbage in, garbage out. And that's why we call newcomers crapheads. Now you do not have to be embarrassed with what's in here because the book says, first of all, we learned we had to give up all of our old ideas. And that's pretty much most of them. I do not understand big book discussion groups. How can you discuss terms like all? Oh, well, I guess what they meant here was that what they meant here was that unless you realize all is all you're going to get drunk. We learned experientially is what it means by getting beat up. To concede. That's total. And absolute surrender to our innermost self. That's as foreign as you can go. That we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery. And until you can do that, you can't do that. And it's just as simple as that. And I don't see any debate or discussion about it. I hear people kind of confused. Step two. I have a definition that may help you. Sin. It's the maximum amount of honesty that any single human being can bring to bear at any given point in their life. That is, notwithstanding physiological brain damage, which is a whole different kind of insanity, than the alcoholic insanity which forces us to live in a life of rationalization, lies, fantasy, and acting so that we can live in a life of rationalization. We do not have to face reality. Dishonesty of that type is a retreat from reality where the ego is attempting to heal itself. Therefore, 100% honesty equals 100% sanity. And that is where we're going. That is where we're going. You don't have to get those things down to the dirty side, at all. You don't have to be honest. You don't have to be honest. It's all basic. It's all basic. It's all basic. It's all basic. Besides that, right on the next page it says an interesting thing right after step three. It says that you experience power of grace but can't Experiences we feel at this point will be short-lived, and that's not very long. And let's follow it immediately, and that's rather soon. How can you debate with the word immediately? When a cop points a gun in your face and says, get out of the car immediately, you understand completely what that means. But when it says it in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, why, your sponsor says, oh, well, I think that means three years. I don't think you've been around long enough. Experiences we feel at this point will be short-lived, and that's followed immediately by searching and feeling this moral inventory. So get on with it, lest the test come before you're ready. And the test will come, because it says so in my book, and I've never found anything in that book that has not been true. And I asked my sponsor, how do you do that? And he says, well, you need some implements. He says, get a dull crayon so you won't stab yourself to death. And a nice new roll of toilet paper, because this is important. I said, well, what do I put down? He says, well, I'll start out easy with you. You're an academic giant. He says, put down you have no character defects. And I thought, that was nice. I credited him with great character insight at that point. I said, well, I've got that written down. What's next, coach? And he said, well, now put down you're the world's greatest, greatest liar, and you'll be on your way. And get it done, and I don't make a big deal out of it. Just do it, whatever it is, and start to commence to begin. And then find somebody to share it with and go share it. And then after that, come home and turn to what I believe is the most magic page in the God-given book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Page 75. I don't hear much about that. You know, there's a premise on almost every page of the big book. Of Alcoholics Anonymous. And they've all come true for me. On page 83 and 84, there's 12 promises, and they've come true. But on page 75, there are 10 promises. If you want to know what we have, so that you might become willing to go to Henny Lake together, I implore you, go home and read page 75. It will give you a goal. It will give you the definition of sobriety. It will show you where the beginning, really and truly is. You can't get there, though, by opening the book. Because it says, after sharing our inventory, we come home and turn to this page. And we go over the first five propositions, making sure the work is right, because we are preparing an arch through which we will walk a free person. See, I'm free today, by the definition, in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am free to do the things that I have to do, because I want to do them. And there is nothing in this world that I have to do if I don't want to do it. I don't even have to go to the bathroom if I don't want to. I can just kind of stand here and let it happen. Of course, along the way, we realize we have to become 100% responsible for all of our actions. It goes on to say on that page, if the obsession to drink alcohol has not been a problem, if the obsession to drink alcohol has not been a problem, if the obsession to drink alcohol has not been removed prior to this point, it will most certainly be removed now. On page 75 is a gift from God. It's not underlined. It's not italicized. It just sits there like exactly what it is, a gift from God. You can accept it or throw it away. It's up to you. It goes on to say on that page, all fears will fall away. Can you believe that? Now, you won't know that until sometime later on. You screw up enough courage to take the risk of doing the one thing that absolutely terrified you and realize that that fear had been removed. In around six or seven years on this deal, I found myself looking straight down over the parapet of a 27-story building, something I'd never been able to do before in my entire life, and realized in one glorious instant that all fear of height had been removed forever. And once again, I could ski, get in the gondolas and the chairlifts of my childhood with no fear, without having to take any mind-altering chemicals or any alcohol of any kind. And as I said before, this time, I could take my little daughter with me. Two years ago, I began flying again. I got my pilot's license again because all fear had been removed. And this time, my little daughter asked me if she could go flying. And I said, certainly. And on the way to the airport, she started to cry one more time. And I said, you know, what the program is here. And she said, oh, yeah. It's just like riding the bicycle and learning how to ski. It's okay to be afraid, isn't it, Daddy? It's okay to cry. But it's going to be all right, isn't it? And I said, you bet it is. And I'm about 3,000 feet over Catalina. We're right off the deck while I handed her the controls. I'd gotten a pillow so she could sit up and another one pushed forward so she could reach the rudder controls. And I handed her the plane. And she flew it. There ain't anything about it, big deal about it. Landing's a big deal. She said, Daddy, can I take my seatbelt off? And I said, sure. I said, you only need it for taxiing and takeoff and landing. And she said, would you take the controls? And I said, no. And she said, sure. And there we were on a gorgeous sunlit morning with my little daughter on her knees in that co-pilot seat next to me. And she looked over at me and put her arms around me and gave me a great big kiss. And she said, Daddy, can I always be your co-pilot? And without you people in the magic program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I'd have missed it all. I'd have missed it all. Twelve years around this deal, I was given the answer to a prayer that I had made. Twelve years before it, my very first roundup in Palm Springs. And I was asked to be the opening night speaker at the Palm Springs roundup in 1980. And I stood up in front of over 3,000 of you guys and you gals and in one gorgeous instant, I realized, in here where I live, that all fear of people, places, and things had been removed from me forever, never to be returned. And I almost missed the whole deal. It goes on to say, on that, on that page, we will sense the nearness of God and we will feel as if we are walking the broad highway with our Creator. You will have brushed the face of God. You will have established a conscious contact with a power greater than yourself. All right there, on page 75. There are five more promises. Go home and read them if you want to know what we have. Get on with the inventory and when it comes to the amends, the amends, why put your name first on the list? Because it says we became willing to make amends to all for the people that we'd harmed. When I became willing to ask my God to forgive me for the first time in my life, I was able to leave that bundle of guilt behind that had never failed to make me feel less than, not a part of, never measuring up to, maybe just for a moment. And then I knew I could ask you to forgive me and I could forgive you. And now it all doesn't matter anyway. Oh, one other thing, if you want to make amends to someone that's died, sit down all by yourself with that magic pencil and paper because there's a magic that happens between the pencil and the paper that will never ever happen between the mind and the mouth. And I don't know why that is and I don't care because knowing why is the booby prize of life. I just know that it's so. Write a letter to that person that's died and the first person, just like they were there because they could be, all of the emotions you always wanted to share and somehow never could. All of the things you always wanted to say, and somehow never happened. And you never had time. In the first person, just like they were there. And when you're finished, go to some quiet place and read it out loud, just like they were there. Because maybe they are. And when you're finished, burn it. And I promise you a freedom, like everything else, that you will not know until you do it. And now it all doesn't matter anyway because you're trapped in step 10 for the rest of your life. First three steps are free. You're becoming willing to turn your will into your life over. The next six steps are how you turn it over. And the last three steps are how you keep it turned over for the rest of your life. I hear people all the time say, well, I turned it over and then I took it back and then I turned it over and blap, blap, blap. And I don't know what they're doing. A number of years ago, men did great damage to me and my family. And as I said before, I've myself left to myself. We'll run riot, drunk or sober. When someone harms me or my family, I'm fully capable of first degree premeditated murder. And I had to write about that and I had to share it. And what I found out, then and always ever since, when I write it, I have a little package. And when I share it, it's not so heavy. And now I can take it to my God and ask him to help me with it. Steps four, five, six and seven. And if you miss one, it will not work. But if you do all four in the first half of step 10, over and sometimes over a hundred times, always, if whatever is bothering you has not gone away right away forever, if it comes back, it won't come back as often. If it comes back, it won't have the power that it had before. And if it comes back, it will not last as long. But if you keep doing that, sooner or later, it will be replaced by the nothingness of total serenity. And a couple of years back, I met that same man at my aunt's funeral and I walked up to him and I shook his hand. And I said, how are you? And I checked in here where I live and there was nothing. Nothing. And then he started to tell me how I was and I said, you know, I really don't give a damn. And I checked inside again where I live and there was still nothing. And if it can handle something like that, it can handle anything you can manufacture. And I keep a pad and a pencil with me at all times. And if that madness of the committee starts in the middle of the night and you can't go to sleep, turn on the light and write it. And they'll all say, oh, he's written it down, we might as well sign off. But if you miss one of those steps, it will not work. Separated by the little word and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. And I don't need that step very much anymore. Because for me, love is never having to say you're sorry. And what that means is that I love every one of you from the bottom of my heart to such an extent that I would never do or say the least thing that would harm any one of you in the slightest way. But not being perfect, if I should step on your toe in error, I have step eight and nine in the last half of step ten to take care of it immediately. So that I need not carry with me, not for one instant longer than I choose, any resentment, guilt, fear, or shame. And in step ten, I have the magic God given to me, the tools that I dare not leave my home with any morning lest I need them during the day, that are absolutely guaranteed to allow me to live my life comfortably with unsolved problems without ever having to drink again as long as I live. Because my book tells me that if I just try to practice the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in my daily affairs, and if I try to keep my spiritual house in order on a daily basis, that I have a daily reprieve from the terminal progressive disease of alcoholism, and if I'm trying to do those two things, I need never fear drinking again as long as I live. You may add one day at a time if you choose. And that is where the magic is. In step eleven, one of the promises already comes true. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve the conscious contact that you made. Somewhere back there, between step five and six, when you brush the face of God. In step twelve, another promise comes true. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message, the message of our spiritual awakening, to the alcoholic, and practice these principles, the principles of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, because that's how it works, H-O-W, and humility. And again, I go to the book of Alcoholics Anonymous for the definition of humility. It's Aristotle, a great Greek philosopher's definition, simply, the willingness to become teachable. When I became willing to allow you to teach me, I found a magic way of living my life that I had never even dreamed was possible. I pray to God that each one of you can keep coming back and listening to the music, and hanging on to these people, and letting them love you, until it can happen for everyone. I pray that the music can be heard and that the music can be heard from each one of you. We're out of time, and I wish we weren't, because my life belongs to you. And I'm so grateful for having been asked to come up here and share with you for one of the most beautiful moments in my life. God, I wish you could all just be able to look out and see the beautiful faces of recovered alcoholics, like I can here this morning. And I would really rather be here than anywhere else in the world, because you are my world, and without you, I wouldn't have one. Someday, I pray to God, I'll get real lucky, and I'll be sitting out in the audience, and maybe one of you will be standing up at a podium like this. Maybe you'll be a newcomer, and maybe you'll be getting a birthday cake, and maybe if I get real lucky, I'll see a tear in your eye, and I'll hear a catch in your voice, and then I'll know that you know, because you either know or you don't know, and there's nothing in between. And I'll know that somewhere along the way, you learned how to drink, you learned how to ride that bike. Somewhere along the way, you fell in love with a deal called Alcoholics Anonymous. Somewhere along the way, you brushed the face of God. Somewhere along the way, you found your way, and the heavens became gentle forever. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And at this time, I'd like you to all stand, and we're going to do this a little bit different. We have Katrina who will sing the Lord's Prayer. I'll hold hands. Please join me in singing the Lord's Prayer. Here we go. Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Amen. Amen.