“One Drink Fixed My Fear of People, So I Had a Thousand More” – Barb C.

About This Speaker Tape

Barb C. from the West Portland Group shares at Cabana Speakers in Portland, Oregon about her journey from terminal shyness and alcoholic family disease to recovery. She describes growing up with an alcoholic father whose extramarital research destroyed the family, her paralyzing fear of people, and how her first drink at a wedding reception instantly freed her from that fear. Barb traces her progressive alcoholism through college, an abusive relationship in Hollywood, and the slow erosion of her values.

Her turning point came when her ex-boyfriend Chris got sober in AA and eventually brought her into the rooms. She shares honestly about upping her program after her husband's infidelity nearly drove her out, discovering Steps 10, 11, and 12 through crisis. Barb speaks powerfully about the family disease — her aunt dragged to death, her grandfather killed in an alcohol-related accident, her cousin drowned while drinking on medication.

Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in sobriety, she found her manifestation of Higher Power through her dog Bob. She emphasizes that staying in the middle of AA, not on the periphery, is what keeps her alive.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction — West Portland Group and sponsorship lineage
• 1:43 Being a woman in early AA — the man who wasted no time
• 3:00 Alcoholic father — three meetings then decided he was different
• 4:20 Terminally shy — fear of people from earliest memory
• 5:30 Parents divorce — father leaves for mothers best friend
• 7:17 First drink at the wedding reception — Dennis and the beer
• 10:00 Mental obsession — not a waking moment without thinking about drinking
• 13:00 College as a geographic — party school with no intention of attending class
• 16:00 Abusive relationship in Hollywood — a girl that hits back
• 20:00 Chris gets sober — the vampire who started appearing in daylight
• 25:00 Southern California — going downhill while he goes up
• 30:00 Getting sober — two meetings a week on the periphery
• 33:00 Husbands infidelity — the fork in the road — hitting knees for Steps 10-11-12
• 37:00 The giant bosom hug in the bathroom — sponsor envelops her
• 39:00 Family disease — aunt dragged to death, grandfather crushed, cousin drowned
• 43:00 MS diagnosis in sobriety — nothing I have had to drink over
• 44:30 Losing dog Bob — manifestation of Higher Power
• 47:00 Staying in the middle of AA — this disease is terminal progressive and patient