Not Saints. Just Drunks Who Do the Deal – Matt G.

As long as you're praying, it's the right way.
And it doesn't matter what I told him or what he told me.
The deal is, how do you get from being a scum bucket slime ball in the world
to where a decent old man asks you if that's the right way to pray?
That's where it's more than all the money in the world.
That's where it's more than any Mercedes, any mansion, anything in the world.
That means a lot to me.
You know, and both my parents died last year, about four months apart from each other.
And because of the...
See, my dad wanted to die at home.
And there was medical things that had to be done to him for that to happen.
And I have a lot of brothers and sisters.
And they couldn't stand seeing our dad that way.
And they couldn't stand touching him because he felt yucky.
And my wife's in Al-Anon.
She's real.
Involved in service.
And I'm real involved in service in Alcox and Amos.
And we learned that we do the deal whether we like it or not.
We just show up and we do the deal.
And so we were able to take care of my dad until he died.
To almost live there at their house.
And my brothers and sisters call us saints.
And we're not saints.
We just have a program that's taught us a way to do this whether we like it or not.
You know, we knew my dad was dying.
And we ran up to the bed.
And when I got...
Passed over and made those amends to my dad.
And we started to have a beautiful relationship.
I called him shiny.
And I ran up to the bed.
And I go, dad, when you get up there, tell him I call you shiny.
And my dad hadn't opened his eyes in a couple days.
And he opened his eyes.
And I said yes.
And he closed his eyes.
And he died.
And I call those spiritual experiences that I get an experience.
Because of Alcox and Amos.
And the service here in Alcox and Amos.
You know, there's a lot of things like that that's happened.
You know, my old-timer best friend, you know, when he was dying.
He told me, Matt, climb up.
You know, I took all the guys I sponsor over there every day.
And he wouldn't let the other guys.
He'd tell me, Matt, climb up into the bed and let's talk about the good old days.
And what he meant when...
Because I'd climb up on that bed and put my arms around that old man.
And tell him I love him.
And we'd talk about the prison.
We went to all the places.
He drove me all over the country.
Me speaking.
All the service meetings we went to.
And, you know, and that was a privilege to get to lay there with that old man.
And talk about the good old days.
And now I call it Alcox and Amos.
You know, I pray to God that I never get so selfish and self-serving.
That I think that I have to step aside and let the newcomer do the service.
And now I call it Alcox and Amos.
I hope I never get that selfish and self-serving.
You know, these things.
These things that seem, you know, these people dying.
And, you know, those are spiritual experiences.
I've had the privilege of getting to hold people and do things for people.
Those things mean more than anything in the world.
I'll get rid of that crying stuff.
Let me tell you what happened to me when I was two years sober.
The state of California called me and said that I was eligible to have my driver's license back.
They didn't call.
They sent a letter.
Said I was eligible to have my driver's license back.
So I thought.
I'd go down and humor them.
And I'd take this letter down there.
And they said, yeah, you're eligible to have your driver's license back.
I said, but you don't understand.
I'm blind.
I can't see you take the test.
And they said, no, you don't understand.
You don't have to take a test.
All you've got to do is sign for it.
And I told the guy to hold my hand and I'd sign it.
He did.
And I'm a legal license driver in the state of California.
So if you're sitting there pouting in means because you haven't got your driver's license back one day at a time,
if a blind guy can get it back, so can you.
I'll close with this.
I stole it from a guy that lives here in Florida now.
Because that violent 10th step inventory that we need to do on a daily basis,
he brought it at this retreat.
All these different deals that might work for you, you know, better.
And it was a list.
And on there, you know, it was like, you know, have I been a good person today to other people?
Yeah, you know.
And, you know, have I cussed anybody out today?
No.
You know, I'm starting to look like I'm a pretty good guy that day, you know.
And it goes on.
And down at the bottom it says, am I the kind of person my dog thinks I am?
I fall short of that one, you know.
But it gives me something to work on.
And I appreciate you guys having me here.
I love you.
And God bless you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.