Moved Five Times Before Realizing the Only Thing That Changed Was the Zip Code – John C.

Hey, it's 8 p.m. Let's have an AA meeting. My name's Tim and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to the Monday Night Bleach Up Speakers meeting at the NAVA Club where a member of Alcoholics Anonymous with one year or more of sobriety tells his or her story. My name's Robert. I'm an alcoholic. Hello, Robert. This reading is based on a passage from page 29 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Each individual in our personal stories describes in their own language or from their own point of view the way they establish their relationship with God. These give a fair cross-section of our membership and clear-cut ideas of what has happened in their lives. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts a bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women in our room tonight and listening later on ableuchipspeaker.org, desperately in need, will hear our speaker. And we believe it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that any of us shall be surprised. We are persuaded to say, yes, I'm one of them too. I must have this thing. And so I get to introduce our speaker. I've known John really since essentially he came to Atlanta. And, you know, I could tell you so many stories about him, but the fact that he gets to speak after me, I think I'm not going to do that. But I will comment on a couple of things. Over the last couple of years, I've been there to have him experience the birth of a child and the joy that brings and also deal with the family difficulties, the death of a parent, things like that. And with all these things, he's done it with style and with grace. And I'm going to tell you a story. I'm going to let him tell his story. So, John, come on up. All right. Thanks, Robert. My name's John. I'm an alcoholic. And I've got at least one year of sobriety, and I'm going to tell his or her story. Actually, my sobriety date is October 5, 2009. So that means that this year, we're just talking about it. It's kind of hard to believe, actually. It just reached 10 years. It's insane. When I first came in, you know, just 30 months, I mean 30 months, 30 days was just unbelievable. You know, just thinking I could get something like that was just, you know, unfathomable. I'd never gone that long since I started drinking, not drinking. But just to kind of start from where it all began, I grew up in Columbus, Georgia. So, you know, it's a couple hours south of here. And if you're familiar with Columbus or unfamiliar, there's just not much to do down there. It's just a small town, and it's pretty boring. And, you know, it's fairly transient. There's a military. There's a military base down there. So, you know, a lot of people came and went. I didn't even grow up in a military family, but that's just kind of how it is down there. But, you know, you hear a lot of people say on their stories, and it's true of mine, too, I just never felt like I belonged. You know, there's something wrong with this town. There's something wrong with my family. There's something wrong with my friends. You know, obviously, it was never me. You know, there's something wrong with all these people, the places and the things. I just never felt like I was, you know, dropped in the right location. In the world, in the right time or whatever. I just did not belong. And, you know, I spent most of my childhood just miserable, you know. A general theme that I hear a lot from just other people when they speak and just, you know, from talking to sponsors and things is, you know, I always just desperately wanted people to like me, but I did not want to be like them, if that makes any sense. I didn't like the people I were around, but I still wanted them to like me. And I grew up. I grew up my whole life by that, you know, especially with my parents. I didn't feel like I belonged to this family. You know, they were just totally different than I was. But, you know, I still desperately wanted them to, you know, approve of everything I did. And, you know, I was constantly changing groups of friends, you know, wanting to be with this group and then changing everything about me so I'd be in this group. You know, I was a chameleon. I just, like I said, my skin just never fit. And, you know, I just kind of, you know, made it through, you know, school, growing up, everything like that, you know, just, you know, small group of friends and, you know, never really drank, though. I mean, my grandmother, she always said that there were alcoholics in our family, you know, that alcoholism runs in our family. And, you know, again, that people-pleasing self of mine, you know, is like, you know, I'll do what she says because I want her to be happy with me, you know. And I never really messed with alcohol because, you know, we just heard it so much that there was alcoholism in the family. I didn't experience it directly. My mom and dad, they never really drank at all. They'd have, you know, you'd see it, drink like a glass of wine every once in a while. And actually, it's kind of funny. My mom and dad, I guess, but my mom mainly, she liked her glass of wine, like, after we went to bed. And she always hid it in the bathroom cabinet, like, underneath the bathroom cabinet, underneath the sink. And I was over there helping her clean out the house. I'll get to this later about cleaning out the house. And sure enough, when we were going through the bathroom, there was this box of wine underneath the sink. It's still there. And, you know, you know, she's not an alcoholic, so that box of wine probably lasted a year. For me, that box of wine, you know, that's like a day. A neighbor used to say, you know, she drank as much as we did. When I say we, I'll get to that later, too, about my wife. But she drank as much as we did. And she always called the regular bottle of wine that she got the little bottle. And the big nine of bottles was a normal bottle for her. So she'd drink a bottle a night. But when she said bottle, it was a big bottle. That's kind of my thing. So, yeah, we actually later on in life, when we ran away to Florida, we actually joined this winemaking club. And we had, like, gallons and gallons of wine in the garage. And it didn't last very long. But anyway, like I said, I didn't drink much. I didn't drink at all, really. I drank just like a sip or two of my dad's beer when he was with his friends. Until really college. I was kind of a late bloomer there. But I did experiment with outside issues. You know, drugs were a little bit of my story. My first experience with something that changed the way I thought about things was when I got my first job. Went to the grocery store. And one of my coworkers who was back in groceries with me was the neighborhood drug dealer. And he exposed me to my first, you know, experience with drugs. So, you know, I would go behind the store, would smoke weed, and then go back to work. And that was the first. That just hit me. That just hit me like a Mack truck. You know, it was just like, oh my God, this is what I've been missing. You know, it just changed the way I saw the world. You know, I was comfortable with everything. I felt good. You know, I had an immediate bond with my coworker. You know, it was like we were getting away with something. And, you know, we were kind of immediate friends over this, you know, these drugs we were doing. And, you know, I started doing that constantly. That was my drug of choice then. Because for me, you know, being the, you know, not liking anybody sort of guy and, you know, the to-myself kind of guy and just judgmental kind of guy growing up, you know, you all suck and I don't know what's right. I didn't get invited to very many parties. So, you know, alcohol was kind of, you know, that kind of, at least in high school, alcohol and parties kind of went together. But the drug scene is kind of where I ended up there. So, yeah. I'm sure my parents smelled it on me quite a bit coming home. They never said anything. We were kind of the family where nothing's ever wrong. We don't talk about anything. Everybody else is wrong. And they would just sweep all these issues under the rug. So that kind of haunted me for a long time where, you know, especially when I tried to get sober of, you know, everything's okay. I've got it. You know, these, you know, other people were probably worse off because my uncle grew up. Growing up, my uncle, he was what I thought of as an alcoholic. My aunt, she remarried and married literally the town drunk. I mean, he's, he was the guy that actually bought alcohol for my cousins in high school because they couldn't get in because he was always passed out in front of the liquor store. That's who she ended up marrying. And, I mean, he was, I've only seen him like a few times because the rest of the time he's been in jail. So, you know, when I thought of alcoholism, I thought of my uncle that my aunt remarried. You know, the. Extreme case. When my grandfather died later on in life, he was never around. He was always at the bar drinking. And we had to go find Uncle Allen, drag him back in. And, you know, that's what I thought of. So, you know, I never, you know, we always put issues under the rug. And I always thought, you know, somebody else has it worse. And, like I said earlier, my drinking really took off in college. That was the first time where I was around people that I thought that I kind of more, you know, people came from college from all over the country, all over the world, actually. And I kind of saw what life was like outside of Columbus, Georgia. You know, it was different. It was more worldly. And, you know, I kind of fit with these people a lot more in college than I did growing up. And I immediately got stuck in the fraternity scene. And alcohol is obviously, you know, big in there. And I had easy access to alcohol. And that instantly became my drug of choice. You know, basically the weed was in the back seat and the alcohol was in the front seat. And I drank as much as I could, any time I could. I would skip class to go drink with friends. I would definitely keep my fridge in my room stocked up. I started drinking when I was driving around. I went to a friend's house in the fraternity and we were studying. We thought we were studying. We ended up drinking all night just hanging out. And I ended up driving home drunk and wrecked my truck and then had to make up some excuse from my mom about how my truck was wrecked. And so I started seeing consequences early on in college from drinking. And, you know, but again, I never thought it was as bad because I could always compare somebody else's, you know, at least it's not as bad as this guy. And ironically, my uncle Al, Allen, was the one that I hated the most. the one that I compared to when I was growing up as an alcoholic and we actually had a guy in the fraternity that was the worst one that I was comparing myself to and his name was Al I mean anyway I just thought that, whatever but anyway so my name's not Al so I can't be an alcoholic but anyway so yeah that was college and just to kind of rewind a little bit I went to I didn't, middle school you know as with a lot of people, my wife was a middle school teacher, middle school was extremely tough for me, I got into fights all the time and I was constantly made fun of, everything it was miserable, I hated it and I ended up going to a private high school, leaving middle school and I was there about two years and then I decided I hated that and then I transferred two years out of that school back to the public school I was assigned to and then in college, the same thing happened so this will become a pattern later in my life too, just running away from anything that I didn't like or any problems not sticking with anything so let me just change everything the problem is the school, it's not me the problem is my job, it's not me the problem is the city, it's not me so there's a lot of just running away it's not me, it's something else something outside of myself but looking back later after being in the program I'm always I came to find that the common denominator in all of this that's going on is me and the program gives us some tools to work on with that so again I wasn't doing really well in school and after about two years I ended up leaving and transferring back to the school in my hometown so it's just that crazy thinking of me it's like, okay I hate where I'm from okay let me go here for school let me transfer back to where I'm from I'm just an idiot but whatever so anyway I transferred back there and finished up school and ended up finding a full time job while I was doing that so I was going to school at night and then working full time for this startup cable company and that didn't help my drinking whatsoever I noticed it was getting bad at the Grange College that I went to so I went back home and you know I was managing it for a while but I was working during the day with some people that were a lot older than me and they were heavy drinkers as well so we would end up drinking at lunch we would sometimes set up some systems at some bars and I would be there and they would give us free drinks to hook up extra cable outlets or something so it didn't help my drinking I was hanging out with people that were 10 years older than me and I was the youngest one and I was like I was trying to fit in with them I was always just trying to fit in and improve them and impress them all so I was doing that I did a pretty good job I was hanging with them and everything was going fine and I had barely graduated from college I was just going at night and then ended up finally graduating and towards the end I ended up moving over to the corporate office in West Point and that's where I stayed for the next few years and basically I met my wife when I was in high school when I got out of college we actually met in college we were really good friends but I was coming up to Atlanta for something and I just said hey do you want to get together and we got together and just kind of hit it off again and started dating and shortly after that I had this job for like 8 years and was doing really well I just up and quit and moved up here and moved in with her and I got a job in Atlanta it was just like you know everything was going well everything was great this was making me feel good I'm happy now this will make everything good so I just up and quit my job in like no time got a job up here moved in with her and it was not unicorns and sugar and all that and candy we were drinking buddies in college and we were drinking buddies when we moved together up here and there was a lot of people there were some crazy fights I mean it was not good at all but we did love each other a lot and we ended up getting married shortly afterwards like a year later but there were lots and lots of fights and we were in a really crazy neighborhood where there was basically a party every night so we'd be up drinking until midnight every night just about and so it was the combination of the two of us drinking the two of us fighting and we were both miserable she had a long long commute to work and I was I was working at a bar and I was working at a bar and I was working at Buckhead at the time later on and you know neither one of us wanted to come home or anything you know it was like I'd go I was at the Lindbergh area and there was that taco mac right outside and I'd stay there as long as I could because I didn't want to go home you know it was just like you know when I get home I'm just going to get yelled at something's going to happen and it's just going to be crazy and you know I ended up just drinking until I you know you know you know as long as I could and walk over to Marta and my excuse was it's like you know hey I'm taking Marta I'm not drinking and driving everything's cool but Marta oh my god so I don't know how many times I got on Marta to go home okay so I'm being responsible I'm taking the train home and I'm not drinking and driving but I could not make it more than two train stops without getting off the train station walking up to the platform throwing up over the platform and getting back on the train and then making it home it would take it would be like a 30 minute train ride it was like an hour and a half but I was playing it safe I didn't plan any of this story it's just coming to me as I go but I'm just thinking back about the Marta thing oh my god if somebody saw me doing that but anyway yeah that became I mean that was pretty much the thing and all of us at work that you know that you know water finds its level I was you know I was I found all the people I worked with that were drinking like me and I remember when that Taco Mac opened we were trying to see who could get their name on the wall first for doing a hundred unique beers and I think I was the second one on the wall so my name's still there so if you go to Taco Mac in Lindbergh my name is still on the wall for whatever it was but anyway yeah like I said we had the neighbor that drank a lot we drank a lot and you know it was a daily thing and when my wife got home she drank a lot you know she her thing was wine and you know it was just nothing but fights and drinking and working and that was kind of our life like I said we did we did love each other but it was just like we were just both crazy and you know her mom bless her heart from the south bless her heart she was sitting on the sideline just you know she's actually in the program she's got something like 40 years sober she got sober like in the 70s when my wife was born and you know she never said anything you know like don't need to quit drinking you know and she just set the example about this is how you live you know this is how you live happily without drinking and we'd go over to her house and if we wanted to drink it would be fine and you know she was just there and you know if we needed to talk to her she was there and she just showed how to live sober and you know that's going to come up later in my story when I want to get sober but you know she was just watching you know as a spectator just like you know I'm sure she was just shaking her head just waiting for you know a 12 step opportunity to come up but yeah we I remember one night though we did go out for a dinner and I'd been drinking at the pub over in East Point we lived in East Point at the time and I don't know how many shots I had of whatever it was and I walked home from there and she wanted to go out for dinner so we went out for the sushi restaurant over on Ponce and we drank there of course and as we were leaving I was driving and we pulled out over where Austin Boulevard crossed and this car cut in front of me and I hit him and then we pulled over and I didn't you know as far as my just twisted view of the world I didn't think I was drunk you know I drink way more than that usually I didn't think I thought everything was fine you know I was level headed so and then this lady clearly was a hit and run because she pulled in front of me and kept going so like an idiot you know I was going to say something else I called the police to say hey there's a hit and run I need you to come check it out she left the scene the police showed up and the first thing he says have you been drinking I'm like yeah we just had a couple at the sushi restaurant and you know that's kind of our normal it's just a couple but yeah a couple in the last hour but anyway I was like yeah I just had a couple over at the restaurant and you know he did start doing the Phil Sabati test on me and then immediately says yeah I'm resting you free or DUI and brought me to jail then my wife had to find some way home in a taxi and you know it's just all this just not thinking about other people's safety not thinking about other people's feelings you know coming home late all the time you know just putting people's lives at risk with drinking and driving I don't know how many times I was drinking and driving and just never got caught I mean this was normal this was a normal occurrence to me you know drinking and driving or drinking and then driving you know that was just normal everybody I knew did it and even I mean you know one of my friends that I had at the time they all had DUIs and it was just like you know basically it was John when's your turn you know apparently it's my turn now you know it was just it was just it was just like not a big deal but the people I was hanging around with they all had them and it was just like don't worry about it you know she finally got me out of jail and the next day you know of course the first thing I wanted was a drink and then we went over to drunk Tracy's house and she had obviously had a DUI lawyer on call and said you know hey call this person and you know it was just you know he you know kind of got the ball rolling and immediately our thoughts were that not I need to stop drinking not that you know we need to stop arguing not anything else the first thought was is Atlanta sucks we need to move to Florida so it wasn't just a few months later that we ended up moving to Florida a guy finagled something with a boss where I could move to the office down in Tampa and we found the place down there and moved to Florida and we're thinking yeah this is going to make everything better you know we're going to be living on this canal right outside of Tampa we're going to go kayaking we're going to live the Jimmy Buffet life we're going to you know drink like normal people just sitting on the dock drinking and sitting in the hammock and we're not going to have all the stress of Atlanta and all this stuff that's happened is bad and all these fights are going to go away and we're going to go away and Florida is going to be perfect and we got down there and it wasn't and I'll find out later that there's apparently like an AA club on every block in Florida because I think everybody thinks that they you know pretty much everybody getting all these AA groups were either from like Michigan, Ohio New York, New Jersey none of them were from Florida so I think everybody says my life sucks I drink too much let's move to Florida they'll fix everything so we were one of those groups and we're going to so we moved down there and at that time I was able to work from home because the people in that office didn't do what I did so I just go in like one day a week and it quickly turned into waiting until Meg went to work to go teach as soon as she left the house the beer came out the wine came out whatever I had and just stay sober enough to make it through my conference calls get my work done and then hopefully be sober enough when she comes home she doesn't realize I've been drinking all day it was this crazy balancing act of just playing the chemist of basically just being stuck inside the house waking up okay she left okay then bring out the beer and then just constantly pulling it back and staying just sober enough to do meetings just sober enough to get my work done and then when she gets home yeah we can drink together and we'll go sit on the dock and talk but as if I haven't been drinking all day and that's pretty much my life then we live in this awesome neighborhood right on the water and you know I was pretty much a hermit in there drinking all day and we did do some nice things while we were down there but it got worse it didn't get better because you know that's what we say you know it does get it does get worse worse and worse and we do find we do eventually find our bottom if we are a true alcoholic so it got to the point where when I did go into work since I drank all day when I did go in on like Fridays I couldn't make it home without having like a drink you know stopping by a quickie mart and getting in like one of the tall drinks and then just you know having to drink that on the way home to make it home and then continue drinking there you know I just it was like watching the clock saying when can I start again and I realized this wasn't normal after a while and you know I was just so miserable and ended up one day I just called my mother-in-law out of the blue and I was just like hey you know I can't do this anymore you know what do I do and you know you know I know what AA is but I don't know anything about it you know how to join what to do and she just said you know look it up you know see if you can find a meeting close by at lunch or something and you know hop in there and you know it just kind of gave me the lay of the land and I did just that you know I went to this meeting that was really close to my office in Tampa and it was the 3333 club actually yeah it was it was maybe two blocks from work and they had a noon meeting and I popped in there and that was my first exposure to AA and the first time I was in AA and the first time I you know at least dipped my finger my toe into like I might have a problem you know water and I went in there and honestly I hated it it was no I mean there was this one guy that must have been 85 90 years old and all every other word out of his mouth was God this God that and you know everybody else was basically the same age and they just you know I just like I'm not going to get sober with these people and you know this isn't going to work and you know I didn't meet one guy there and I got his number and he seemed a little closer to my age you know he was only like 20 years older than I was and yeah and I don't know it's just like you know at least I you know raised my hand got a white chip and you know it was the first step of saying hey I might have a problem and you know they say a little bit of AA will just really wreck you you know you know if you you know I saw the steps and I you know got some numbers and at least said you know hey you know I might be an alcoholic but I didn't want this solution at the time and I'd never been to treatment or anything like that and you know I called her and told her I went to a meeting and you know it sucks and all that and you know how do you do this for 40 years and not kill yourself and she's like you know she's like just give it another shot try somewhere else you know when she visits she goes to this other group maybe check that out I said okay maybe I'll give it another chance and then I went home from work and wife and I promptly went to the place over nearby that had the 50 cent beers at night and because it was that that night you know we always find some kind of special or reason to drink but at least I had that in my mind and you know I continued drinking like I did but I had that in the back of my head that you know I might need to do something about this but it was it still was a daily thing but I hadn't gotten any trouble because I had this DUI looming over me still in Florida since we moved so quickly I still got to keep my driver's license because it didn't flag in the system down there and but I knew I had to be extremely careful because technically I didn't have a driver's license but if they would have looked it up but I just I guess I flipped through the cracks and got one in Florida because again I don't think it just showed up yet so I didn't get in trouble in Florida but probably a month or two after that meeting actually I do remember something that did happen I did get in trouble actually I got this part time job when I was there kind of doing this energy drink marketing thing on the side and I was supposed to show up at this park it was my first day to do this event and I didn't even show up because I was drinking the night before and then I got all angry that they didn't want me around anymore and I was like who do you think you're talking to and all this stuff and they're like yeah you didn't show up for your first day so we don't need you so yeah that that happened so yeah that was kind of a blow to the ego there and but obviously I didn't stop by drinking even though I was asked to leave a job before I even started but I remember once my wife she went up here to go see her mom and came back and before she came back she got into a really big fight with a neighbor and just had a breakdown in front of her mom that you know she needs to stop drinking and you know it's just causing her all kinds of problems and she was calling me the whole way home crying just like I think I might be an alcoholic and you know I was talking to my mom and all this is going on and you know I got all angry with David next door and I like drank a whole bottle of wine and I couldn't stop and I was like she's like I want to go to a meeting when I get back and she's like I hope that's okay and I'm like you know actually I went to a meeting a while ago so I never told her I just figured I'd try it out and it just didn't work and I was like yeah I'll go with you you know actually I went to one a couple months ago and you know it was in Tampa and it didn't really work out but I'll go with you so I'd been drinking that whole day and actually a funny story about that is my dad and mom came down they weren't aware of how heavy I'd been drinking because they were all still in Columbus and I kind of hid it very well I kind of behaved when I was near them you know as much as I could if it was just like one day I could usually hold it on but if it was two that was usually pretty rough but they came down and I remember my dad brought me some sweet water 420 which he couldn't get in Tampa at the time they didn't sell it there so I was like hey can you bring some down when you come over and he brought it down and I put it in the fridge and I'm like I'm not touching that because you can't get it down here I'll just save it from when I want it and when Meg went out of town I drank that whole case while she was gone so I was kind of ticked off myself for like drinking all this special beer while she was gone so I was like yeah that's probably a problem if you know this stuff that I was trying to save for like a special occasion that you can't get I'd drink it all in one shot so I was like yeah I'll go with you tomorrow because I've been there before and you know I'll go there to support you and we'll see maybe this one's better than the last one I went to so we went to the one that her mom went to and recommended it was right around the corner from her house I didn't even know he was there so I went to the one that existed it was called the dry dock center which sounds like they repair boats and people actually called the clubhouse asking for boat repair or boat docking quite a bit but it was actually an AA clubhouse and we actually went there and you know they asked you know if it was anybody's first time here and we raised our hands oh crap I got sober okay I'm getting sober right now okay so yeah so we went to this meeting and um and you know it was actually totally different from where I you know where I originally went to it was you know a lot of younger people there were men there were women there was straight gay there was young old bunch of old Harley bikers it was just a huge cross-national society you know just like the book says you know we're represented by everybody and you know it felt really good you know it was it was fun people were laughing and you know I was like I can get with this you know and I I'm not I met a few people there and they talked about sponsorship and gave us phone numbers and I went home and I after the meeting I think it was an 8 o'clock meeting and I didn't know how I'd make it through the night without drinking and I called this old guy Lou on the phone in the phone list that they gave us and I was like how do I make it through until tomorrow and he's like you know the basics today are just you know just drink some horseshoe you see some chocolate you know and just call me you know call me if you need to and come tomorrow and I did what he said you know I I just went and found some orange juice I got some candy and you know it helped a little bit and I made it the next day and I was like you know okay well that's stupid and simple but it works you know and it got me to the next day and I I went to Lou and I'm like what do I do next I can't just keep eating chocolate and orange juice and he's like okay get a sponsor so I was like okay well the first thing works so let me do the second thing so I got a sponsor and it was this you know it was this guy John John that you know I I kind of latched on to that we kind of hit it off and it's kind of funny because John John couldn't drive and could barely walk so he couldn't really make it to the meeting without help so I ended up being his meeting shuttle so I was kind of forced to go to meetings so he's like he'd call me up and he's like hey come take me up to go to the meeting so I have to drive all the way up to Pasco County pick him up and bring him back to the meeting and then after the meeting ride home with him and we'd talk the whole way up there and back so he kind of tricked me into extra sponsorship every day so yeah we really hit it off and we worked through the steps as quick as we could he'd come over to our house and we did all the writing and I shared everything with him and I was really embarrassed about some of the things I've done before I obviously couldn't get to everything and he shared with me some of the things that he's done and I was like okay yeah you're a real alcoholic so I didn't doubt that I was a real alcoholic but some of the things that he's done were just like oh my god so at least it made me share everything that I had that's the power of one alcoholic talking to another we can let it all out to each other and we get each other and he was able to share some of the things that he's done I was able to share some of the things that I've done and just get it out there because all this baggage that I've had in my past some of the things that I drank over some of the things that were just mulling over my head that I just couldn't get out of my head and we were able to work on that using the steps things that I was able to make amends I was able to just pray about it whatever needed to be done mostly amends and it was right about when we finished the 12th step I lost my job it was part of a layoff and we had to move back to Atlanta because I was in it was a layoff and I was chosen for the layoff but since I didn't really do a whole lot of work it might not have actually been a layoff I think it's just I just got really lucky there it's probably just looking for a reason and that was a good excuse but I did end up making amends to my boss for that for the fact that I really wasn't doing as much work as I should have been in the end I guess that is kind of stealing from the company stealing the salary so we did have to move back to Atlanta and this whole time actually my wife and I we had the same sobriety date and if you ask her she'll say she's October 4th because she didn't drink that day that I drank when she came home because we did go to that first same meeting we both did just pick up that one white chip that was my second one but our sobriety date is either the same or one day difference depending on who you ask so we had to move back to Atlanta and I moved back before she did because she was finishing a job teaching and I I was living in Duluth at the time and I was started getting really active in the Easy 1-2-3 group up there and that saved me because I was up here alone by myself and I met a good core group of friends and really got involved because I was here by myself and I knew how dangerous being by myself is so I got really involved with that group I went every day we went rafting and they had a lot of good things to do and we were when my wife made it up here one of her friends from Florida actually had to move up to Atlanta from Florida on the same day that she did with her husband so she actually knew about this tradition group and we ended up transferring there after her friend joined and it was closer to the house that we ended up buying close to here so I've been a member there ever since and it's been a great group and it's where I met my sponsor Robert and he's been really involved in a lot of my life and yeah great friends and great advisor and you know sponsorship's huge when I met my first sponsor he walked me through a lot of things and you know when I moved back to Georgia the first thing he said was find a good sponsor up there you know I can sponsor you for a little while remotely and you know I missed him like crazy he ended up passing away shortly after I moved to Atlanta I was actually out of town when he passed so I went to make it to his funeral for work but yeah he was a great guy and then you know sponsors just immensely valuable in his program because they you know they've walked this path before and you know as I'm walking in I always need to talk to people who have done it before and group members too you know just talking to people in the group when I'm going through something I've been going through some problems with my family and I've been talking to people who have been there you know they're in my home group they've gone through things that I've gone through and it's crazy you know life is awesome right now you know I'm I went from just you know you know my wife and I you know fighting all the time to being just like super tight well I can't recall the last real fight we've had we've had some victors and some name calling but you know it's rare but you know it's no more than anybody else but I mean it's an awesome relationship now since we both stopped drinking and you know working the program because we're working together you know we can call each other out on our crap and you know we can speak the same language so it's really amazing having both of us in the program and you know it's you know I've had you know I was basically a loner with the DUI and you know barely holding on to a job to now you know I'm doing you know pretty well and you know we bought a house and the state of Pennsylvania and the state of Georgia both agreed that we're fit to raise a child and adopt a child which is crazy you know so we adopted our first son this year last year actually and we never thought we wanted kids and you know the program and the Dirty Laundry you know when you're going through adoption you have to give you have to give up everything you know all your tax returns they do fingerprint checks they do criminal background checks they do everything I mean and you know she was like amazed like you know oh you just you know oh you had a DUI and you explained it and just move on you didn't try to cover it up I'm like well why you know that's my life or you know all this stuff and you know tax returns here take it take it you know and you know it's the program you know it's just it's just it's just it's just it's just to be honest and just move on and do the next right thing and you know we got an amazing son for that and as Robert said this year my dad passed away from ALS and it's been a tough battle the last like five years it's a hell of a disease but it's not been easy but you know working with this program you know it's taught me to you know how to handle that you know I was able to be helpful I wasn't around for my granddad's funeral when he passed and I was around for my dad and my mom you know helping him out and you know it's the tools of the program you know just being helpful and you know just doing the next right thing and you know mother-in-law's ended up moving down the street from us and you know we're able to help her out she's able to help us out and you know that's what the program's taught us you know just helping each other out and you know just you know being helpful to our fellow person and you know the payoff is huge you know I'm definitely a lot happier now and you know you know met some great people I used to travel to the world for my last job and I met people all over the world in AA that I still were friends with and you know it was just a crazy network you know I think I'm running out of time here but I remember it was crazy I was in China with a co-worker we were working over there and like our third day there I'm like I gotta go and it was like 8 o'clock or something I gotta go I can't hang out tonight I gotta go see some friends and he's like how do you have friends in Beijing and I was like just trust me I gotta go for a couple hours so I went to a meeting and then like the next week while we were there we were touring we were over around not the Great Wall but the Tiananmen Square area and I was I called up my friend from one of the meetings and I was like hey we're over here what should we do next and he was like tour guiding us all over the city and he was like just amazed that I had like this network already and I just wanted to get in there for a few days so yeah I mean it's just it's a wide open world now I mean we have this connection that you know normal people just don't understand you know no matter where I go I've got somebody that knows how I feel even if we speak different languages or you know even if we're on different cultures they know exactly how I feel and that's how it was in the beginning you know when I first started talking to my sponsor you know he immediately got me and I got him we know how each other feel you know that not belonging feeling different then and just you know wanting to escape and you know everybody I talked to in the program just felt that same way and you know it just feels like I'm home now and you know I don't want any other way so I guess that's it thanks congratulations Papa John living the promises okay Tinsley's back let's go hand out the chips hey everybody I'm Tinsley I'm an alcoholic thanks for that story that's great I know how it is to travel and have friends everywhere it's amazing that's what I was looking for and drinking really to have friends everywhere here at this meeting we have a chip system to mark our time away from our last drink if you'd like to try this way of life one day at a time we offer a white chip anybody like to pick up a white chip after 30 days we have a silver chip gold chip for 60 days anybody got 90 days for red chip about 6 months for a yellow chip for a green chip any birthdays one year or multiples alright thank you Tinsley and thank you John hey everybody I'm Mike I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic this is 29 29 years ago right about now I discovered that I couldn't get drunk anymore and I couldn't stay sober I couldn't I couldn't stay sober I couldn't not drink and when I drank I just couldn't it just stopped working and for a long long time alcohol was my solution and when you're your solution stops working you're in a heap of a mess and a couple days later I made it to my first AA meeting and the rest is kind of history I haven't had to pick up a white chip since grace of God and the power of this program and I was also a member of the Lillehammer group of Alcoholics Anonymous 26 years ago which for about 9 months so I know I I I didn't understand the language but I understood and that's pretty powerful stuff I do want to share one thing with you in 23 days so this is 29 for me in 23 days my wife self picks up 30 so for 30 years okay now if you do that math that's Christmas day and and let me just suggest to you that it doesn't matter whether she's got one day more than you or 342 days more than you she's got more time than you and don't you ever forget that the proper response is always yes dear I you know I I love this time of year I'll tell you I had I thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving Day spent most of blowing leaves and mowing leaves but I still just enjoyed enjoyed the day because you know the Thanksgiving 29 years ago really sucked really really sucked you know the holidays after were really kind of special for me and my I was a few days after I discovered that I stopped working I checked myself in the Petri Hospital a couple of days a couple weeks after that they wouldn't let me actually about a couple weeks after that they wouldn't let me out of the hospital to go to my daughter's second birthday and they told me that the best thing that I could do that I could do for that little girl was to give her a sober dad and so I did and now I'm a sober grandfather and Benji is six months old and he is awesome I'm just going to tell you he's awesome I'll show you the pictures at the meeting if you want to see them so I always have a special place in my heart for folks trying to get sober this time of the year this is tough on a lot of alcoholics you know a lot of people have trouble dealing with the holidays sober or drunk and for an alcoholic to go through the holidays that can be very difficult it doesn't have to be but it can be but to me I always have a special place in my heart and so Olivia I want to give you this birthday chip and you hold on to this and if you have anything comes up during the holidays just remember that somebody can stay sober one day at a time 29 years one day any other birthdays? anybody want to reconsider on a white chip? they can for the chips you hold thank you T great job thank you one and all for joining the blue chip speakers meeting tonight I'm gone away with you I'm going back the only thing I understand is someone's hand carrying me when I'm tired I can't stay here watching the