I Married My Husband Because He Was Sober — Turns Out I Wasn’t 🤣 – Mary S.

Amen. Good afternoon everyone. My name is Brooks Scroggs and I've been elected to
chair this meeting for you this afternoon. This is the monthly area
meeting sponsored this month by the Paramount Group of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I will read the purpose of AA. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and
women who share their experience, strengths, and hope with each other that
they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no
dues or fees for AA membership. We are self-supporting through our own
contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization,
or institution. It does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor
opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other
alcoholics to achieve sobriety. We have a few announcements
today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few
announcements today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few
announcements today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few
announcements today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few
announcements today. We have a few announcements today. We have a few
Well, the Spaghetti Supper, Saturday, October the 24th, 4 p.m. to 6.30 p.m., Little Flower
Catholic Church Cafeteria, 1066 Jackson Avenue, $1 for adults, $0.50 for children.
Proceeds to be used to send Alateen members to Southeastern Alateen Roundup, December
4th, 5th, and 6th, and for Al-Anon World Service Treasury.
The Spaghetti Supper, Little Flower Catholic Church.
I was asked to let someone make an announcement from the floor, so I think the young gentleman
here from Alateen wanted to give us an announcement.
Stand up, young man.
Let's hear from him.
Well, I'm a member of that council, and as you said, we're having a Spaghetti Supper
October 24th to raise money.
And it's going to be of our Alateen members, and the commission is $0.07, and the prices
are down for adults and 6-7 children.
We're going to be having a pretty big show, because we're putting a lot into it, and
we're going to put a lot out.
And hopefully, we're all going to be down for about a year.
Thank you.
There was another person, gentleman, who wanted to make an announcement.
Who was that?
From West Memphis, wasn't it?
If you got...
Yeah, there you are.
Please remain.
Oh, it's one of us.
Please remain.
On Saturday, I'll go again.
We want to invite all y'all over to West Memphis, and we'd like to tell you, we're going to
start off by 7 o'clock, and we're going to have some meetings at 8 o'clock at West Memphis
Hotel, on East Cook Street.
That's called the Great Black Country.
It's just off of 7 o'clock.
And our speakers are going to be Donna and Neal L., from up in Mount Garth.
So, I don't know if they're going to be Donna.
Neal is the alcholic president.
He's all supposed to be invited.
Thank you.
Another announcement, and it contained the program.
I don't know how many of you saw the program or not, but after this area meeting, we're
having open house meetings.
We're having open house at the Paramount Clubroom over at 1484 Madison.
The girls have worked hard, putting the place up, and preparing food, snacks, and whatnot.
So, you're all invited to come over for some additional fellowship at the Paramount Clubroom
after this meeting is over.
Without going any farther on announcements and whatnot, I...
I'm going to take this opportunity to introduce a fellow member, who, in turn, is going to
introduce our speaker.
I'd like to ask Kitty Lou to step up and have with it.
Come up, Kitty Lou, please.
Hello, everybody.
My name is Kitty Lou Abernathy, and I am an alcoholic, and I still know how to con, because
here I am.
And when I got the opportunity...
And I've been waiting for and hoping for an opportunity to be able to ask Mary over
here to talk for our area meeting sometime, and so I got this chance now, and I said,
now, I'm going to call her, and I'm going to ask her, and I know she's going to come,
and I'm going to do it under one condition, that I get to introduce her.
And so that's how I conned myself up here, because I wanted to introduce Mary, because
I love her dearly.
And as my sponsor told me one other time...
When I was asked to chair, and he said, remember, honey, you asked to chair, not to talk, so
get it over with quick.
And that's what I intend to do.
But the one thing that I want to say in introducing Mary that was so important in my AA life is
because, as a lot of you have heard me say, I hated men, and I sure didn't know anything
about women, and I didn't trust them when I came in here, and so I'm in this twilight
twinkie zone, and I'm sitting over at the Southeastern.
Conference in Atlanta, and this blonde bombshell bounces in over there, and I'm still surveying
with suspicion, and I see her bounce around, and she runs, and she kisses this one, and
she embraces that one, and they go to her, and they talk, and she's just having a ball.
And she gave me more hope than anybody at that time could have possibly given me just
by watching her, because I found out...
that we see a lot more in AA when we first come in than we ever hear, but I could watch
Mary, and I knew she was having a good time, and I knew it was coming from the heart, and
I wanted to find out what kind of heart Mary had, and so over the last couple years while
I've gotten to know Mary, and I got to know her an awful lot better last night from the
time I picked up to the plane until 5 o'clock in the morning when we finally cut off this
morning, and back up about 8 o'clock, and we'd still be there.
And I knew she was having a good time, and I knew it was coming from the heart, and I
wanted to find out what kind of heart Mary had, and so over the last couple years while I've
been going strong, and somebody said when they came in here that she didn't look like
she was shaking very much, but I know that Mary talks from the heart, and she talks from
way inside of her, and you all will know what I mean when she gets through, and I want you
to hear my love, Mary.
Thank you.
That gal can flat tear you up, don't you?
It's awful nervous up here.
In fact, I'm shaking so bad I just heard the water on my left knee splash.
I want to thank you, dear people, for giving me the privilege of coming here today and
sharing with you.
And first, I want to ask you a question.
Has anyone told you today that they loved you?
If they have...
Well, I'm happy for you.
If they haven't, then let me be the first, because you see, without you, I wouldn't be
here, and I have learned through the years that either we as alcoholics love or we perish.
Now I asked myself a question a few years ago, and that question was, who am I?
Do you love me?
Do I love you?
Do you love me?
Well, people in AA had looked at me if they'd seen me last night, and they could have said,
What is it?
Because I flat loved Dad, and I was flat hanging in there with him last night.
We are all different, and we're all different.
But I came up with these answers.
Now, first, I am a child of God.
I'm one of His kids, and oh, my dear, it took me so long to realize this.
And secondly, I'm a member of the Greatest Church of the world, which I'm very proud
of.
And I know that I'm not just members of this system.
I'm not just members of God.
No, I'm a member of God.
disorganized organization in the world called Alcoholics Anonymous and thirdly
my name is Mary Sutton and I am an alcoholic hot dog I'm delighted that I'm
an alcoholic because you see I've been called everything else and some of it
wasn't very pretty and this house sounding word to me was just beautiful
it's sort of like a story I heard an old alcoholic tell the other night he
said this old drunk had a parrot and said this parrot was wicked
and said it used the most vulgar pharmacine language you've ever heard in your life
and and you know how preachers get after alcoholics
and every day this preacher would come to see this old drunks and he would
tell him he said now I have a parrot too but I have a little girl parrot you've
got a little boy parrot and he said my little parrot prays all the time my little
girl parrot said why don't we put them together and maybe some of the goodness of this little
girl parrot will rub off on your little bad boy there so they did and the old drunk took
his little boy parrot over to the little girl parrot and they opened the cage and put them
together and the little girl parrot looked up and said oh thank god my prayers are answered
well thank god today my prayers are answered and I'm back in Tennessee
because one of the greatest experiences of my life I had a few years ago over in Knoxville
and I got to meet and know some of you people and today before you leave here
I want to thank you for joining me and I'll see you in the next video.
want to meet and know every one of you because you see again I must stress how much I love you
because you see I have not found it necessary to take a drink since December the 28th
1951. Now for the benefit of those of you all that ain't that haven't got around to
where you can count yet that's almost 19 years and I'm proud of this a friend of mine out in
Texas says now Mary don't you ever come to Texas and not give your sobriety date because if you
don't it's a pretty good indication you don't have one so I don't ever fail to give my sobriety date
in 1960 in Long Beach California I had the privilege
of being one of the
speakers at the International Convention and wouldn't you know they put me on at 2 a.m because
you know my heart doesn't even start beating until about midnight and I make a fist about 1 a.m
and when they I was so nervous then I tried to jump in the Pacific Ocean but some of them
caught me and brought me back and there was an old wino standing there that was going to be on
the program with me I won't break his anonymity but his initials are Joe Leaf and old Joe says
what are we going to do I said I'm just nervous I'm just going to die because you see this old
dude was standing up there talking and I won't break his anonymity either but his initials were
Chuck Chamberlain now nobody even the good lord ain't going to follow Chuck Chamberlain
but who's going to do it Tookie Turnips and so they had to drag me with my feet dragging up to
the stage and in the meantime this old dude is there and he is receiving about a 10 minute
standing ovation and then somebody got the wild idea of introducing this to the and I threw up all
over the stage and old Joe the wino was standing and he looked at me and I'm just throwing up in
that 18 000 pairs of white eyeballs are cracking up and Joe said doll some of us are just sicker
than others
now if this continues you first three rows better move back because you just might get sprayed
on December the 28th 1951 on my floor in my nice clean bedroom
lay another victim of the most cunning baffling and powerful disease known to mankind
alcohol had pushed out of my life everything that was near and dear to me
alcohol had robbed me of everything in this world that I loved and cherished
but the mercy of my illness was that it had brought me to this point of misery thank God and
most of all alcohol had robbed me of my freedom the freedom of choice and you see my days without
freedom there is no peace you see my days without freedom there is no peace there is no peace you see my days without freedom there is no peace
Now, the Big Book tells me that we disclose in a general way what we were like, what happened,
and what we're like now.
And I sure do thank the old dude that put that general way in there, because some of
it I'm going to tell you and some of it I ain't ever going to tell.
There is no way, and I do hope the good Lord's forgotten it.
The greatest gift, I think, that God has given me through this program is the power to choose,
the power to make a decision.
And that day, as I lay on that floor, reduced to nothing but a tongue-chewing, babbling
idiot, thank God I knew what to do.
Now I wish I could stand here this afternoon and tell you people that I came from a family
down in Charlotte, North Carolina, that was well-fixed.
Well-fixed.
Well, I guess I did, in a way.
We were in one hell of a fix.
Oh, excuse me.
I'm trying to do something about that defect of character, but it just slips out.
Y'all just have to bear with me.
Yeah, we were in awful fix.
You see, I am part Cherokee Indian, and they're kind of lovers, you know.
If you don't get a man, if you get a man, they'll scalp you.
But the Apaches, now I'm part Apache, and they're the meanest thing in the world.
They're the meanest thing in the world.
They'll snipe you and walk around you and laugh at you, you know, and scalp you while
you're looking at them.
And then wouldn't you know, I'm a shanty Irishman, too.
So I didn't have a chance.
There was no other way.
An Irishman of the hardest two-fisted drinkers in the world.
And here I was, dropped into this family where there were already six, five, six-foot-four,
200-pounders, alcoholic brothers.
And I was a little bit scared.
I was a little scared.
I was a little scared.
I was a little scared.
I was a little scared.
I was a little scared.
And I knew what alcohol could do.
I had seen alcohol literally destroy these five fine boys.
And I loathed and despised it.
And my father, who, by the way, was my God, I loved him more than anything in this world.
Because you see, he was pure love and he loved me.
And my father thought a means of escape for me from all this, and you know we alcoholics
are the world's greatest escapists.
And when I was very, very young, he sent me to New York to study dancing and to become
a professional dancer.
And I loved it.
But we have an old saying in show business that no matter how your heart hurts or your
feet hurt, the show must go on.
And one day I became very ill.
And they called in a doctor.
And the doctor says, I can't give this girl any sedatives.
If I do, she won't make the show.
He said, I suggest you give her a drink of whiskey.
And I said, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just want her a drink of whiskey.
So my friends poured out a great big glass full, and not knowing how to drink, I just
turned up that juice and I drank every drop of it.
And the only way I know to describe it is like old Joe the wino says, he says it's like
you swallow an umbrella, and when it hits bottom it just opens up.
And I opened up.
Now you all may find this hard to believe.
But I was a very...
introverted little girl. Ain't that weird? AA really changes things, doesn't it?
I was a very withdrawn little girl. I had a mother that, God bless her,
she didn't know any better. She was totally incapable of showing me any love or affection
because she didn't like me. Nobody likes a menopause baby and I was one.
So I missed out on all this dear sweet mother love and in later years she wanted a lady
for a daughter. Have y'all ever seen a drunk lady? I ain't. And so she became more and more
frustrated. Now my highest ambition at this time, naturally, being the alcoholic was to be the
world's greatest. I got to be the world's greatest and I wanted to be the best drunk lady ever.
a Radio City Rockette and they are the world's greatest precision dancers and I worked hard
but I was hitting this juice but I still had a lot of youth behind me and I was working and I made it
and I made it to Radio City and I was the happiest girl in the world
but little did I know that this thing had its hold on me and there is no way that you can be
one of the world's greatest precision dancers and an alcoholic too and sure enough the day came
when I ended up in John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland
so very very young with alcoholic convulsions DTs and bronchopneumonia and I just had sick in this
stuff make you one of my little pigeons at home the other day asked me said have you ever had DTs
I said no I had them before they
ever came in style. I stayed in this hospital for three months and the doctors told me that
due to the powerful drugs they had had to give me to save my life, I could never dance
again because I had a nervous heart condition. Would any of y'all believe that after seeing
me last night? AA changes things, doesn't it? So I had to go back home to Mama and by
this time there was a very strained relationship between my mother and I and I don't know how
my brothers managed to do this over the years, but when I got back to Charlotte, to my home,
my brothers had married five alcoholic women.
Now, this is a part of my life, dear hearts, that I ain't gonna talk about. But I will
say this. We made Forever Amber look like the Christian Herald. Can you imagine eleven
alcoholics living under one roof? It was weird, dear hearts, weird. Here's where I learned
how to see. Here's where I learned how to lie.
I got a liberal education. Now they told me at that time there was a war going on. I thought
the Apaches and the Cherokees and the Irish had all got together at one time and we had
declared war, you know. I didn't know the world was at war. But my high school boyfriend
was a prisoner of war in Germany and I loved him dearly. And I thought, well I better do
something for the war effort besides losing it up. So I wrote him a letter. And he said
he cursed the day he got that letter. Because he had prayed and he had asked God to get
him home safely and he did and when he got home he felt like he was obligated to meet
because I took- oh, it was such an effort to write that letter. And he came to see me.
And there he stood so tall and handsome and girls, I loved uniforms. Now I'm not going
to say that I recommend it to anyone, I have had a vacation but I loved it when I was
had a hang-up on uniforms and he was so gorgeous and he didn't have any better sense than to ask me
to marry him now I love this boy as much as an alcoholic is capable of loving but he had a lot
going for him he had a lot of money you know all that back pay coming and I could just see all
those booze bottles and then at the same time to show you that the insanity part of this disease
I my husband the guy that I married never had a drink in his life and I thought some of him will
rub off on me and maybe I won't drink so bad and right here before I forget it see I still have a
lot of stripped gears up here and I ain't had much sleep either but and I'm very forgetful at times
but I want to tell you something that I heard a man in Miami Beach at the International say
and by the way he's a colored man and he was the greatest I think I've ever heard and Chuck
Chamberlain had to follow him haha I said Chuck I've waited 10 years for this revenge now buddy
follow that he said I can't make it but this colored man says when we get a hold of a pigeon
in a a and we stay up with them night after night and we lose sleep and we talk to them
and we pray for them and then the old pigeon comes into a a and in about five or six months
they're they are they got it made they gonna rewrite the big book they gonna change the whole
program and then they fire their sponsor and he says you know what I do with these little chicks
like that said I just looked at him and I said you pocats ain't carrying the message you just
spreading the disease hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha
and I said the old big daddy Chuck I said follow that honey follow it that man just shot you out of
the saddle well I married this doll and he had a lot going for him he was stationed up in Dayton
Ohio he was a fighter pilot and we moved to Dayton and shortly after we got to Dayton I found out I
was gonna have a baby and I was so happy I wanted with all my heart to be a good mother to this baby
and I had a period of nine months for sobriety because there I sat sick pregnant and barefoot and
I couldn't drink there was no way because I have one of these squeaky stomachs you know
but my first little boy was born in Dayton and we moved back to Charlotte shortly after that
and uh all of a sudden I learned how to make a formula and put on a diaper
and I didn't know what was causing all this jazz but I found out I was gonna have another baby just
and I thought well now there's no way you in North Carolina if you shoot your husband they
put you in a little thing and shoot that sign out at you you know and I thought well there's
no way for me to make another nine months of this so I crawled into the bottle
and it is not easy for me to tell you people this but when I was eight months pregnant with
this child I was dashed to the hospital in alcoholic convulsions again and they told me
my baby wouldn't live
but I know now that the God of my understanding that I have found in AA hears prayers and I'm
sure the people that love me were praying and I had another little boy
now I will tell you about this little boy later now here I am I'm a practicing alcoholic I have
two tiny babies I have no God my husband insisted that we take these little children to church we
don't send them we take them
I don't know whether you girls have ever had this experience or not but you're drunk on Saturday night
you're bleeding at the eyeballs you stink like a polecat you try to get two little babies dressed
and you're shaking so bad and you finally make it to church and you sit down on the back row
and there was only one person in this church that was ever nice to me
I don't blame them who could stand an old polecat like me because they knew I resented them and I
flat dead
but there was one person in this church that was always lovely and pleasant to me
and it was my Sunday school teacher and he would go out of the way on Sunday mornings to
pat me on the shoulder or say good morning Mary you know trying to get rid of the odor
and make me feel welcome and I tell my husband that's the only Christian in this church
and then we'd sit down on the back row and my Bishop would stand up in the pulpit
and he'd look back there and see if I made it
and he'd say something like this well I had my sermon all prepared this morning but I believe
I'm going to change it and he'd take off on alcohol and I'd nudge my old dude and I'd say
you know the Bishop's really got a hang up on that alcohol you know he must have a lot of
drugs in his congregation and I was insane I was a victim of the most cunning baffling and powerful
disease known to mankind
and I would sit there and here my dears is where I heard about AA
my Bishop would stand up there and for about 45 minutes or an hour tell me about AA
now in June July of 1951 my father who had been very ill for years with a heart condition was not
able to work and on the advice of the doctors I let him take a job as a night watchman just
for the summer to give him something to do
and he had worked one week and three days and this crime insane man went in the place apparently
to rob it and beat my father to death and then shot him right in the face
now my God was gone
and I wanted out of life oblivion you see I was at the turning point and I didn't know it I wanted
oblivion and I knew how to get it
because you see I love my babies and I love my husband as much as an alcoholic is capable of
loving but I did not want to live I wanted to die because I had nothing real to hold on to
now my husband said that he knew I was going to drink myself to death
and by this time he flat didn't care you know I was beginning to get the look when
through the door. Have any of you all ever had to look? There's no way a self-respecting practicing
alcoholic can take that look. So when he'd come in and I'd get it, I'd just, you know, bend my
head. Oh, let's go, man, you know. So he decided what he would do was to take out all this insurance
on me. Oh, a fabulous amount of money. Because he knew that the end was nigh, you know, coming right
fast. And he also went out and bought me a whole case of Canadian Klupp.
And I thought, well maybe I've been wrong about this old dude. Now he's fine...
Now that's the way you do it. I didn't know his motives, and I thought now I don't have
to go next door and steal my neighbors booze and I don't have to stay up after he goes to
bed at night. I get tired, I don't know what's up with him. And I met him and I thought, oh,
I don't know what's up with him, but he is, not it was, he's always well. And I said. And then
I thought, well, you know, I heard another man come in. And my first mistake was a man who I was
night and rob his pockets you know to get that money there it is and I thought well now maybe
we'll make this marriage after all and my dears I grabbed that Canadian club and I went to the
bedroom but somebody asked him some lady said give her one last chance said now there's something
about buying a hat for a lady that will do something for her morale now get married out of
that bedroom and get her downtown and let her buy a new hat and she'll be all right can you
imagine you had the cure for alcoholism something else too so I could not face these earth people
out there you know without being stoned and this old boy is a pretty big character and he was
beginning to look a little different to me and I thought well I better get out of here
and I'll see you later
haul it. But I couldn't make it. I had to get drunk before I could get downtown. And by the
time I got downtown, I'm stoned. And I said, oh, heck, I don't like hats. So I staggered into a
shoe store with all the dignity that goes with being drunk. And I bought 38 pairs of shoes.
Now, I don't know what I had in mind that day. It must have been I thought all God's kids
got to have shoes, and I got to have my share. And I had the nerves to call this old boy up and
say, now, Howard, would you please come downtown and bring a truck? He said, Mary, what in the
name of God are you doing? I said, well, he said, did you buy the hat? I said, well, not a taxi.
I said, I bought a few pairs of shoes. And don't tell me to take a taxi. We've already been that
jazz. We've been that ride. And there ain't no way I can get these shoes in that taxi.
He said, you stay still. Don't move. So the shoe store people had all my money, so they just
dumped me on the sidewalk, you know. And here I am, an old, sick drunk, sitting on top of all
these shoes when Daddy-O drives up in the truck. Isn't that horrible? So Daddy gets the shoes and
the drunk, and he loads us in the truck, and he takes us home. But you can rest assured that
never again did that boy ever see me again. And I said, well, I don't know what I'm doing.
Just I buy a hat. But you know something? Thank God we can laugh. Thank God that in Alcoholics
Anonymous, we can share our joys as well as our sorrows. But my dears, let's never forget that we
cried. Let's never forget that we cried. My God, as I understand him, is also my Redeemer. And did
you know he redeemed every pair of those shoes? I never wore a single pair of them. Because after
I came into AA and could walk and got my eyes uncrossed, I was a jailhouse jessie. I'm going to
sober up. No alcoholic deserves jail now. That's my own opinion. And especially these little girls.
So I haunted the jails. And every one of them that the judges would turn over,
to me, wore my size shoe. And would you believe none of them had any shoes? And so I was able to
put shoes on these little girls' feet. Now I gave one of them 16 pairs at one time, and that little
gal hadn't quit running since. But thank God that girl, I not too long ago, gave her a 16-year chip.
You see, God redeemed.
Our goofy. All right. I'm back in the bedroom.
And I came to on that morning of December 28th. And I was all alone.
My husband had had it. And he had taken my children, and he left me.
And you Alphys know that there is no loneliness in the world like the loneliness of an alcoholic.
There was not...
one person left in this world that cared a damn whether I lived or died.
My bishop said he had not given up, but he sure had given out.
And I used to throw him out of the house religiously.
And every time he would come towards the latter days, you know, the latter-day saints,
it was always pouring down rain. And I'd see him coming, and I was beginning to be ashamed.
And my husband had hired a maid at the time, and the maid was drunk, too. And she'd say,
Lord, honey, hide the liquor. Here comes that preacher again.
And I'd hide it. I'd pick it up and run to the woods.
And after I got in AA, I said to the bishop, I said, honey, why did you have to come all the
time when it was raining? It was in December. And I could have caught pneumonia out there in
those woods. And he said, no, darling, no, no way. You were too full of antifreeze.
But I hadn't, and the point it made was Musik tasted like wine.
I felt like I was drunk. And I knew it, but I couldn't have gotten in any listen.
I mean, I didn't feel any alcohol was the right option for me.
And so I was just slogan at the measure of, you know, use of the liquor.
I didn't understand the truth, but I knew I was a good husband.
And I met this madam that had the true music it had been a little while in the mat.
And that I thought, oh, she's good. And I said, so what's new?
so I called AA I knew what to do now let me say right here that I firmly believe that there is
a whale of a lot of difference between 12 stepping and sponsorship because I had three 12 steppers
that came to see me and they sat there and they told me about AA and they told me how sick I was
and that that alcoholism was a disease and I thought these were the greatest people where
here the people I've been looking for all my life and I ceased to believe they even existed
so my husband said he had to come back home a few days later and back in those days my
dear I hope to god you still do it here when you got a 12-step call you didn't say no
everybody went because your sponsor beat your brains out if you didn't go because you see
these were the old daddy rabbits the first generation of AA and they meant business
and my husband
said that he had to come back to the house a few days later and pick up some clothes for the
children and said he drove up in front of the house and here were all these cars lined up in
front of the house and he threw up his hands and said praise god she's dead the old boy had been
set free and he tripped up the steps and came in the house and ran head-on into those AA
and they set that old dude down they talked to him and they then they
persuaded him to come in and take a look at Miss Rigor Mortis of 51.
and he came and he looked and he said the dirtiest trick I ever played on him I looked up at him and
said Howard I quit I had quit so many times I finally just quit quitting you know and he said
all right now if you will do what these people tell you to do I'll go get the children and we'll
come back and we'll try it again now I had partial alcoholic paralysis my dears and I couldn't walk
I know you've heard a lot of people in AA say you don't carry the drunk you carry the message well
I was I ain't never been right they carried the drunk in their arms there was a big old guy his
name was Andy may God bless him he must he had to duck to get through the window the door and I
thought oh they growing big in that organization I better behave myself I might get killed
because I had been on the receiving end of those meat flavors you know and I didn't want any more
of that and this precious man just it wasn't very hard for him I didn't weigh but 89 pounds
hundred proof and he just picked me up in his arms and took me to my first meeting
because I was desperate my dear I was desperate to do anything and I believe this
with all my heart that this is a desperate program for desperate people
and when he carried me in his arms through that door guess who the
first person was standing there with his hand out said something like this
you know
in here, hotshot. I've been waiting on you a long, long time. It was my Sunday school teacher.
Whee! I almost had a cardiac arrest right there. That old dude had been in AA before it was ever
he had been in the Oxford group, you know? And I never knew that jackass had ever had a drink.
He's the cat that ruined my drinking, because when he'd see me staggering in the church and
running school every Sunday morning, he'd start praying for me. And now I'm doing it to a lot of
others, and isn't it great to watch them just about die? You know the Lord's going to save
them, and they get sicker and sicker, and you just get happier and happier, and then all of a sudden
they come through, and they're sitting in the A meeting. I got to tell you all this. I wasn't
going to do it, but I own two nightclubs and a bar in Charlton, North Carolina.
I have built-in 12-step work, and every time I see a poor drunk coming through the door,
I start praying for him. And my manager, who stays there and steals me blind,
and I just finally said, take a little and leave a little doll. I got to go.
He called me up the front of the club the other night. He said, Mary Ann, I got to talk to you.
I said, what's your problem? He said, now you have got to stop getting the best drinkers in AA.
I said, you ruined the hell out of our business. I had just gotten my 47th one in alcoholic
phenomenon, because I prayed, and God had me right there where he wanted me. And now it's a joke in
Charlotte. Don't go to Mary's place. You'll end up in AA. But I told this manager of mine, I said,
for every one I get in AA, honey, get the door wide open. There'll be 400 more coming in, and we got work to do.
After I had been coming to AA for about a month, I went to a meeting one night,
and my three 12-steppers got up. I don't know if you all have the chip system up here or not,
but we have the chip system. And they got up, and walked up, and picked up white chips.
And I was terrified. Here were the people that told me that I never had to drink again as long
as I didn't want to. And I was terrified. Here were the people that told me that I never had to drink again as long as I didn't want to.
Here were the people that told me that I never had to drink again as long as I didn't want to.
Here were the people that told me that I did not join AA. I lived it.
And I was terrified. I said, well, there's no hope for me. There's nowhere else for me to go.
And my dear, if any of you think that you don't hurt people if you have slips in AA,
that's the biggest misnomer that's ever been said. Because I remember the terror that struck my heart
when I saw these three people pick up these white chips. And I turned to my old Sunday school
teacher, whose name is Roland. And I said, hey, doll, what do you do now? He said, you get yourself
another sponsor. Because believe me, these old heads, these old bleeding deacons in AA believed
in sponsorship. And thank God they did, because I would not be here today if I had not had
terrific sponsorship. And I said, well, OK, Roland, if nobody cleans me in the next 11 minutes, I'm all yours, doll.
And he threw up his hands. He said, honey, the world ain't ready for you, and I ain't.
I said, well, you better get ready, because I belong to you.
Well, he decided that after a lot of praying and meditating, he'd take me on sort of a group project.
And he told me right off the bat, he said, now, doll, we're not going to expect much out of you.
And I tell you what you got to do. And they told you what you got to do.
He said, your way didn't work, and you ain't going to work it your way. You're going to do it my way.
I said, all right. I've heard something about this high power. You be my high power.
OK. He said, now, you sit down, and you shut up, and you listen. Now, that's tough. That's tough.
And every time I tried to open my mouth, he'd say, Mary, sit down, shut up, and listen.
You all are not going to believe this.
They wouldn't even let me read The Purpose of the Meeting. He said, you'll screw it up.
Sit down, shut up, and listen. He said, but I tell you one thing I'm going to let you do. I'm
going to let you get in the big book. And I want you to read it, read it, and reread it.
And I'd get in the book. And you know how an old drunk's mind is. We ain't been restored to sanity.
And I'd read one paragraph, and I'd read it about 100 times, and I still don't know what it says.
And he kept close contact with me. And he called me up, and he said, what chapter did you read today?
I said, oh, The Fed. Well, now quote it to me. I said, I don't know what it says.
He said, you are a nut. But he said, if you got sober to be a nut, well, just be a nut.
But I tell you what you got to do. If you can't absorb it, you put it in your arm,
and you take it to bed with you, and maybe some other rub off on you.
Tough. You see, I could not have a woman sponsor. Because, you see,
I didn't like you girl. I just didn't like you very much. You hadn't been very nice to me.
And you see why? Because I didn't like me. And one night a little old gal about this high
was standing up making a talk in my group and when she got through,
off of me. Tough. You see, I could not have a woman sponsor. Because you see, I didn't like you
girl. I just didn't like you very much. You hadn't been very nice to me. And you see why?
Because I didn't like me. And one night a little old gal about this high was standing up making a
talk in my group and when she got through, she made a beeline right to me. And she stood up
there and looked at me and she says, Mary Sutton, I love you. And she changed my whole life.
This was the first time in my life
any woman had ever told me that they loved me. And I got so mad I went home didn't sleep all night.
Because you see, I won't love you. But with all my heart, I love you today.
I'm reminded of something an old-timer told me when I first came to AA. He said
that in the early days of when they were trying to form this program, and the Al-Anons would
come and they wouldn't let the women sit on the same side as the men. They were segregated.
They said, now you names, you sit over there. You're not going to associate with us. Just sit over there and be quiet.
You know, just go out and get out of the way. So all the men sat on one side and all the women on the other side.
He said, then Mary, one night a little old alcoholic gal walked through that door and she sat down
where she's damn well pleased and AA ain't been the same since.
Now, I might start World War IV right here, but I'm going to tell you something. My sponsor dealt pretty severely with me.
About gossip. He said, Mary, there is no room in Alcoholics Anonymous for envy or jealousy.
And if I hear you talking about your fellow man, I'll beat your brains out.
Now I have never, until my sponsor, God bless him, stepped into heaven on my birthday of
this year. And I'm sure he didn't take any crossroads getting there. But never as long as this man leaves.
Did I ever hear him say an unkind word about anyone. Anyone.
And I would sit with this alcoholic fogged up brain. And I would try to figure out some way
to find him wrong. Have any of you all ever done that to your sponsor? I said, now he just can't be right
all the time. And I figured out something that I knew was going to get him.
And I called him in one day. And I said, Roland, would you please tell me what good thing you can say about the devil?
And he looked at me.
at me he said well hot shot he sure does stay busy doesn't he
i never tried again i went out of business right there
and he says we don't sit in moral judgment against our fellow man either
and he had taken me on a 12-step call one night i was kitty lou and i were talking about this today
about this judging in aa and he taken me on a 12-step call one night and this poor little
naked gal was running around there like a wild indian drug sick and everything and it's just
you know we all cry a little and she started crying and i had heard some of these yo-yos in
aa make this remark oh they just feeling sorry for themselves you know so i thought well i was
about two years sober i'll come on strong with this remark you know see if it works
and i told this poor guy i said you just feel sorry for yourself he says in the kitchen hot shot
i thought what have i done now i went to the kitchen
and he sat down and he shook his finger in my face and he said if i ever hear you make that remark
again i'll beat your brains out he said you haven't walked in that girl's shoes
you haven't had her heartache you don't know how she feels
so you don't tell her she's feeling sorry for herself because if you do you're playing god
you're you're sitting in the judgment seat instead of the mercy seat now let's get in the mercy seat
and my dears you may not agree with me but i have never told another living soul
that they were feeling sorry for themselves because i cannot play god
and i believe this man i believed every word he told me
now you're not going to believe this either they didn't allow me to talk
because my sponsor said you don't get sober in a year or two years it takes three years
to get this old thing to thicken right three years and he wouldn't let me talk
and then one day he decided well it's about time and i stood up and this big fat mouth ain't shut up
since i'm still trying to catch up on that three years
but this this old dude knew what was eating me up because i would not accept god my dears
i wouldn't accept him and he knew what was eating me up and i almost got drunk
and i called him and and he sat in my kitchen and he looked at me and he said mary i can't help you
anymore
but i have a friend i think can and i said well go call him up i don't believe you got it any longer
anyhow i fired the sponsor you know spreading the disease i said go call him up tell him to
get over here and take a taxi i'll pay for the taxi he said all right just a minute man let me
tell you a little bit about my friend said he's the greatest friend i ever had in my life
he's always there when i need him and he'll never let you down
i said well shut your big mouth and go call him up he said mary my friend's name is jesus
and something clicked in my heart because you see i had had this longing and this yearning
in my heart for something and i didn't know what it was and i had heard people say find a god of
your understanding and i had read it in the big book and i said to roland i i know i i hear you
people say this but nobody tells me how to find a god of your understanding and i don't know
anybody how to find him
find God Roland please tell me how do you find God and bless your heart some of you may be sitting
here tonight today at the turning point with this very question and if I can help you let me share
this with you he said to me Mary find somebody that you can forgive and find someone that you
can love and you'll find God and I knew what he meant because you see the hatred that I had for
the man that murdered my father was literally destroying me and they took me to a retreat
and they told me to sit down and shut up and listen
but Roland also told me that night that I must take the eleventh step
and I said to him Roland I do not know how to pray and he was a very wise man and he said but
I know your children your little babies know how to pray why don't you get them to teach you how
and I went in there
night and I said to my two little boys I said would you teach your mommy how to
pray and this little one of mine Billy looked at me said why sure mommy all you
do is talk to him and then he said God I want you to meet my mommy and I had a
spiritual experience a spiritual experience because the Bible says a
little child shall lead them and they those two little kids took me right by
the hand that night and led me straight to God and I went to this retreat and
these if you ever had a bunch AA's prayin for you something's gonna happen
it may not happen like you want it but it'll happen and when I left that
mountaintop three days later through no effort of mine I had forgiven the man
that murdered my father murdered my father and I was feeling you know the
old our God of ego gets pretty high you know
and i feel pretty good about myself and i went to this precious spiritual man at the next retreat
they took me to and i tell him all this and he said my dear that's wonderful that's wonderful
but you know what you have to do now and i said well what he said you have to love him
and i remember screaming that this precious saintly man has sickening can this damn religion
yet but you know i knew he was right i knew he was right and when i left that retreat three days
later i loved with a god love with a reverent love with the love that our lord said was agape
i love the man that murdered my father and i wanted to see him i had this longing and this
desire to see him and let him know that i had forgiven him and that i loved
him and I tried to see him in Raleigh prison in North Carolina and he was in maximum security and
no one would let me see him and by this time I just knew I had a friend and that he loved me
and so I talked to this friend of mine and I said now if you want me to see him you do it
three days later the man that murdered my father's name is Earl his picture came up in the tv screen
and it says criminally insane man escapes from penitentiary and I stood there and said well
praise the lord I don't have to go anywhere he's gonna bring him right here to me now time today
will not permit me to go into detail to tell you this great miracle but there were two detectives
came to my home that night one came inside and one came out well stay outside and he said Mary
we have orders to shoot this man on sight I said oh no sit down have a cup of coffee and I told
him the message and he looked at me like well I better get the paddy wagon for this female she's
not gonna be with us
you
but the next morning at 3 a.m. he called me back and he said Mary I just wanted to tell you
that I just caught your man and I could not shoot him and he told me that he was not supposed to be
at the bus station that was out of his territory but he and his rider went there to get a cup of
coffee and the bus driver ran up to him and said here is the man that you all are looking for
and Earl took off running and they took off after him and they called and
E real close to him I said well otherwise I think if I talk to him now I'm a nice little
åt
gosh
let it slide
not human it was a wild animal and I started praying and I finally said to
him Earl God has forgiven you and I have forgiven you and God loves you and I
love you and I wish you could have everyone been there I saw the greatest
miracle of my life because you see it took a miracle to get me God knew what
he was doing with it took a miracle because you see before I could ever love
you my dears I had to learn to love this man I had to learn to know what real
love was and this precious thing changed in the twinkling of an eye and his eyes
became misty and this sweet little face smile on his face and he looked at me
and he said thank you lady and when I came out of that jail that day my dears
for the first time in my life
I knew what it was to be a child of God and then I could love you now I could
sum this whole thing up in telling you that I was just born a mess and I ended
up a drunken mess and now I'm just a sober man but I got to tell you what I'm
like now they say this is an honest program and I have been on the dadgum this
is an honest program man let me check it and I gotta love this about 15 kids
beautiful hard-working man I told I took um Spartan right I said you know I say
don't not love the man the human husband laughing I said be careful reason for
your weight I tell you why when you not only got brushing your teeth when you
don't really know if it's going to hurt you you don't know if it's going to class
you don't know if there's shoes in the house all the time the instant I broke the
to something other than a human being and you all remember when I was in Knoxville that I stood up
there my son had just gone to Vietnam and I told you that I hoped and prayed that nothing would
happen to my son but if it came I was trying to prepare myself for it well you're never ready for
it my dears I don't care how prepared you get you're not ready for it and shortly after I was
in Knoxville sure enough the day came and the telegram came and my son had been shot all to
pieces in Vietnam and they were bringing him home to Fort Bragg North Carolina and by the time I
got there he was in a nut ward and I suffered my dears here is my heart and soul with a blown mind
and he's locked up in a straitjacket in a little old cubicle and he is screaming 24
hours a day
now my dears I know now that insanity can come with the sober mind again I stood at the turning
point I did not want to be sober I wanted oblivion but for me to drink is to die and I knew this boy
needed his mother worse than he ever needed him again in his whole little life and I took you by
the hand and I took God by the hand
and I held on and my young son stayed in that nut ward for seven months and they finally released
him and he's home with me now he is not in very good shape but at least thank God he's alive now
my Billy boy took his first drink when he was 14 and he was a full-blown alcoholic after the first
night in the hospital.
drink. Now this kid has been through the goonie roost, the jails, the institutions,
the straitjackets, the whole works and he's only 19 years old. You name it he's
been through it and again I was powerless over alcohol in my precious
son and I didn't know what to do about it and God bless you Al-Anons, God bless
you women in AA. I ran to you and I said girls my God help me I don't know what
to do and believe me I had done everything wrong everything and you gals
set me down and you told me what I could do and what I couldn't do and you saved
my life again. I did not find it necessary to take a drink. My son came
through the door one night and he went totally berserk.
Now he
is a precious young guy. He's a precious precious boy and I had to call in seven
of the biggest AA's I could find plus two ambulance drivers and would you
believe that it took nine big men to catch this 148 pounds and put him in a
straitjacket and on the way to our alcoholic hospital the boys had taken
me and I arrived before the ambulance did and I knew something was wrong and
I felt a little hurt I felt a little
hunched over my back and I didn't know if anything was wrong with this little
23 year old alcoholic boy standing there with his arms around me and this nurse
ran in and she said she picked up the phone and she called the doctor and she
said doctor get here quick. This young boy has swallowed his tongue and his heart has stopped beating and my dears I stood at the turning point and I suffered. That night something inside of me died too and all I remember
and I suffered. That night something inside of me died too and all I remember
and I suffered. That night something inside of me died too and all I remember
And all I remember
hearing was this precious little boy standing there whispering in my ear dear God have mercy
on her dear God have mercy on her and about that time they rolled my kid in and he was breathing
now he stayed in this alcoholic hospital for five days and he came to AA
he knew where to go thank God and he stayed sober almost a year
and may I beseech you people you know that we are getting them in so young now
and these kids are so honest and they are seeking for honesty I had the most beautiful privilege of
my life back in August of attending the international young people's convention in
Fort Worth Texas and sharing with these young people they had them there at 16 already in AA
and they have a dual problem something that you and I may be
didn't have they have a drug problem and they have an alcohol problem and
thank God my dears that I did not know about pills when I came to AA because I
am an addictive person I can get hooked on jello if I would eat jello every day
of my life for five days at 5 p.m. on the sixth day if I didn't get jello I'd
probably have DTs now this is how addictive I am
and if any of you are popping pills let me tell you what you're doing Dodge you ain't doing a thing but chewing your booze
and you ain't gonna get sober chewing booze but these young people are so they are so honest and
they're so uninhibited and they want us to be honest with them and they want us to tell it
like it is because they tell it like it is now I heard some stories that made this old blonde hair
stand straight up and I said I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that
but you see I love them and I can identify with them and let you and I get
these doors open because believe me I was vitally concerned about the kind of
AA that these young people like my son would find when they got here but you
know I don't worry anymore now because these kids are great they are beautiful
and they are sincere and they are honest
I don't know why this side of you will come out in all of this I'm telling you this to say that
people in charlotte told my son that he was too young to be an alcoholic they told him that they
had felt more trying to get it to their mouths than he ever drank they didn't know this cat
they didn't know the hell this boy had already been through in four years time
and so they convinced him that he could drink again oh my god dear hearts let's don't do this
let's don't do this
them and let's love him into sobriety because he is the future generation of Alcoholics Anonymous
and they are the dearest things in the world
now I wish I could tell you my Billy's all right but he isn't
last Tuesday night he sat me down and he told me because my Bobby on Saturday
night had tried to commit suicide and today he is still in the hospital
and my Billy said I might as well give it all to you at once mother
and let's get on with it and he told me about his drugs
and again I stood at the turning point and I reached out for you
and you took me by the hand and you put your hand in God's hand and you held on to me
you see now what you people mean to me today
you see now what this trip to Memphis Tennessee meant to me it kept me alive this week
because I knew that I would be with a bunch of people that I loved
and I hoped and prayed to God that you loved me now during some of my darkest hours
I sit in my den and I try to take the 11th step and not too long ago I was sitting there and I was
hurting I was suffering and I was dying
and I begged and I did I prayed and I asked God to
give me and answered and I did
and I replied to myself by Twitch
I was so glad for him and I prayed and I asked God to give me an answer
and he did and it was coming so fast and furious I was so afraid that I would forget it
that the basis for all human existence is to love and to be loved. I came to believe that
the simple truths, the simple, simple truths taught to me by my father and later my sponsor.
Each of us should meditate and ask what kind of a life do I want for myself and my fellow man
because every human being is somehow touched by the happiness, the sorrow, the frustrations,
the accomplishments of every other human being regardless of race, color, or creed.
It is not enough for me to say that I want the same justice for you as I want for myself,
the same opportunities for your children that I want for mine
because these mean nothing if I cannot feel compassion, if I cannot learn respect,
and most of all
give to you, my fellow man, the most cherished of all human emotions, L-O-V-E, love.
AA speaks the language of a lonely, lost, brokenhearted people
who are afraid to live and afraid to die.
May God bless Alcoholics Anonymous and may he bless you extra special because God knows I love you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
There ain't much to say after that.
It's all been said and I love this girl nearly as I said before.
But if anybody was as curious about Mary as I was first time I saw her and I'd heard that...
when Mary went in where she carried a hairdresser with her but I saw Mary sleeping in my bed last
night and there wasn't a hairdresser around anyway and it looks as pretty today as it did last night
so she does her own for anybody that might be as curious as I was because I sure was I couldn't
say it I couldn't believe anybody looked that pretty all the time uh Brooks didn't you want to
take care of something thanks
Mary thank you very much I enjoyed it and I'm sure we all love you do you have a
little token of our appreciation thank you
I'm it excuse me
Mary forgot to wear her flower that we got for her
a beautiful orchid and she said she isn't well yet but we'll see that she wears it before the
day is over I'm at the age where you know when you walk from one room to the other you forgot
what you went in there for uh I had some uh notes and
Well, I know there's been no sweeper around the last five minutes.
I saw two or three of them on the floor, that's all right.
But I was supposed to mention that the following groups were not represented at the intergroup
meeting that took place before this meeting.
The following groups were not present, their representative, rather.
The Big Book Group, Bluff City, East Group, Family Group, Neely Road Group, South Memphis
Group, 12th Step Group.
Their representatives were not present.
All right.
Thank you.
It is at this time that we'll have our drawing for the three books.
We'll have three tickets drawn for the three books, the Big Book, the Red Book, and the
24-hour book.
First for the Big Book, then for the Red Book, and then for the 24-hour book.
And if we can get...
We'll just get this young man from the...
When the allottees come up and...
Let's just throw you out of there.
First one from the Big Book.
Second one from the other Red Book.
Thank you.
Third one for the 24-hour book.
For the big book, the number is 454616.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Norwood. All right, sir, for the big book.
That's a good move for the red book.
Four, five, four, seven.
Seven, six.
Four, five, four, seven, seven, six.
Amen.
For the 24-hour book,
four, five, four,
eight,
two, four.
Four, five, four,
eight, two, four.
No one have?
Supposed to.
We'll draw another one then.
I'll just draw one, okay.
Getting late.
Four, five, four, six, three, four.
Four, five, four, six, three, four.
Twenty-four-hour book.
Thank you, Jack.
Right?
Yes, sir.
Thank you.
I believe at this time we need to, or should hear from Frank S. with a message about the
intergroup activities and conditions.
Thank you, Brooks.
How y'all?
One of these thankless jobs again, but that's the one to help keep us sober.
I want to thank Paramount, by the way, for the real good program, and especially you, Mary.
I appreciate that good message.
Intergroup is $230 in a hole.
That's $230.
We tried this same thing last year and it was very effective.
You people helped us out a lot in doing this.
You know, it's customary, seems like in a lot of the groups, to, when the baskets pass, drop in a dollar.
If each one of us who plans to drop in a dollar or five or whatever it might be, just double that today, I feel sure we'd overcome our deficit.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Brooks.
Thank you, Brian.
Thank you.
Now is the time for the collection.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
To welcome all the folks that visited with us.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
of town making the trip and coming to our meeting and I'd also like to take
this opportunity to acknowledge and thank two girls in particular who have
worked very hard to make this open house possible at the Paramount this afternoon
Jean W and Marie R they have done a tremendous job and worked real hard
yesterday last night and practically all day today getting things ready for this
party for this open house and I know they did have some help maybe not as
much as they should have had but they have done a good job
yeah they're having a anniversary and
banquet deal at Fort Pillow October the 23rd they urge all of us to come if we
can
come again thanks to all of you for coming I know it helped you as well as
it helped our speaker she made it very plain that it's done worlds for her to
be here I certainly enjoyed her so if there's no further activities involved
we'll close the meeting but do try to come over by the Paramount as you leave
here drop by
we'll certainly be glad to have you I'm sure you'll enjoy it so we'd like to
close the meeting now with the Lord's Prayer Dwight would you lead us please
Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us in heaven amen
Lord give us today our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us in heaven amen