I Became an Intelligentsia Which I Can’t Even Spell but It Means a Da*n Know-It-All 🤣 – Wes P.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, my privilege and a great honor to present to you, Wes Peay. Reverend Mr. Mayor, honored guest, and my fellow AA members, hi. Now, you can do better than that. I'm 2,000 miles away from home. I'm to tell you my life story, how horrible it is, and pour my soul out to you. I got to have a better high than that. Hi, everybody. Now, that's better. Gee, you make me feel at home. Get everybody here. I don't know what you're going to hear, but I hope you can. It's just nice to be in Ely, and I want to get this little formality out of the way. I want to thank the committee for inviting me to Ely. You know, when I was invited, I didn't even know why I was coming. But I was awful happy. I got here. And the reason I'm here is because I'm not all there. And this makes us wonderful. And, you know, since I've been in Ely, I feel like I became part of Ely. When I got in town, well, Helen certainly fed me a steak that was fit for a king. I don't think that I've ever had a steak like that on earth. It was so tender and so mammoth. And I've been trying to lose this little pouch I got in front, and I haven't been able to do much about it since I've been in Ely. And then we, Thursday night, we cut a lovely tape for the radio, and we became part of the community and told them about Alcoholics Anonymous. And then Friday at noon, I had the wonderful opportunity of going over to the restaurant and talking to some of the leading citizens in Ely and telling them about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, along with Dave and Ray. This is a terrific thing. That, Ed, as you remember, you read off the roll tonight, Vern, and I can see that alcoholism is kind of a tradition or something in Minnesota because I don't think it's a town in northern Minnesota that's not represented here. So it must be a program that everybody enjoys, Mayor. You're not the only one. But it's wonderful to come and know that it is working because I am a product of Alcoholics Anonymous. What I... I am today, or what I will ever be, I owe to this wonderful program. The best word that I can use to describe me prior to Alcoholics Anonymous is the word nil, N-I-L. I was nothing. And what I am today, or what I ever will be, I owe to this wonderful program. And you know, I'll see a lot of young people here tonight, and I want to emphasize this because I think, be very emphatic about it, because this is very important to me. I stand in front of you as a young man, as an example of what this program will do. I've had the wonderful opportunity of living this program since November the 13th, 1947. In other words, I have lived the prime of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous. And when the big book tells you that this program will give you things beyond your fondest dreams if you apply it every day to the best of your ability, you believe it. Because I am a living example. I founded the program of Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of 34. I was a bankrupt individual, morally, physically, financially, and spiritually. I had nothing. And since that time, I have been applying the AA program to the best of my ability. A lot of people say that's not good enough, but it's the best of my ability. And trying to live this program. And God has been good to me. And this is what I want to talk to you about tonight. About the program of AA. I've been a drunken son. I've been a drunken father. I've been a drunken citizen. I've been a drunk sailor. I've been a drunk period. And the devastation that goes along with it, everybody knows what the devastation is. And I've suffered it all. And the humiliation. And everything that goes along with alcoholism, I paid the debt. And when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was qualified for membership. And so, therefore, I'm not going into it. That type of story. Because it's not necessary. What I want to talk to you about is the day that AA was introduced to me. And what has happened to me along the way. What the little extra ingredients that my sponsors taught me. That I survived these 25 years one day at a time. Did you ever think about this? This little extra ingredient. What is it? I talked to this and asked men all over the country. What is this little extra ingredient? To these old-timers, I'll say, why have you been sober 25 years? What has kept you sober? Your life has been like a sine wave, up and down, like mine. But whatever has confronted us, we have met and stayed sober. We have faced reality. What is it that causes us to do this? And not one of them has failed to not say this. It is my faith in God. This is it. He has gone. He has come along with us all the way. And that is why the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is a spiritual program. It sustains you in life. And it gives you the things in life that we are all searching for. And that is a way to live and be happy. I would assume that's why you are here. That's why I'm here. It's still finding a way, searching for a way that I can be just a little bit more happier. Just a little bit more comfortable. Day by day. They tell me that the more I get of this AA, the more I'll give away. And the more I give away, the more I'll get. And this is true, because I came to get, but I hope that I can stay and give. I hope that I can pay the price, some way or another. The debt that I owe to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't know how I'll ever do it, but I'm going to try to pay it, because it's my responsibility. One Sunday afternoon, about November the 10th, 1947, I was sitting in my front yard, half drunk, with my wife, which is a non-alcoholic, trying to carry on a conversation with her. She wanted to talk about my drinking, and I wanted to carry on a bunch of damn foolishness, you know, trying to get her attention away from my drinking, because that was the last thing I wanted to talk about. Did any Minnesotan ever sit in his front yard on Sunday afternoon, half drunk, and try to talk to his wife? It ain't much you can say, is it? After you've been drunk all week. Uh-uh. Because all she wants to talk about is your drinking, and here you sit, poor little old me with the plum disease. She won't let you get off of your back. You've worked hard all week. You put a roof over her head. You put food on the table and clothes on her back, and here she is on Sunday afternoon. The few moments you have in a week that you're not out there slaving for her and your children. And she wants to raise hell about it. Ha! How about that? Is that awful? Well, my wife and I was in this position when I was introduced to AA. And as I sit there, and as I sit there, I started hurting, because I'd been there about 30 minutes, and that glow was wearing off, and I had to get another drink, because, you see, I was living to drink and drinking to live. You know what I'm talking about. I started hurting. I started getting this gnawing feeling inside of me. And I had to go upstairs and get that drink. Because I knew it was there, and I wanted it. But I knew what I was going to get if I raised myself from that chair. Exactly what she was going to say. And I was trying to make up my mind whether it was worth it or not. Now, I was not an alcoholic here. I don't know what I did. I finally made the decision it was worth it. Because I was hurting. I was hurting all over. And I rose out of the chair to go, and I looked over ahead. And there was a man knocking on the door. And the man looked over and saw me. The man that he came to see was not home. And he saw me, and he started walking toward me, and I sat back down. Because I knew Jim drank. And I knew if Jim came over to see me, that I would say, Jim, would you like to have a drink? And he would say, sure would, Wesley. Then I'd run upstairs and get me a double hooker, and then fix Jim and I a nice rum and coke, and we would sit there on Sunday afternoon in the sunshine and just have a big time. And Rena couldn't say a word about it because she had to be sociable. I had a trap. Now, this is just common sense. Trying to work out a way to get a drink. Well, Jim kept walking toward me. It was only a short distance, but it seemed like eternity, you know, coming toward me. Finally, he got in shouting distance. And I said, Jim, would you like to have a drink? And he yelled back, I don't drink anymore. I belong to Alcoholics Anonymous. Oh. And, you know, I didn't know what he was talking about. Because I had never heard of the word alcoholic. I had never heard of the word anonymous. And this was brand new to me, and I said, you are, so what? And he had been so before much. And, of course, he was, you know, he was ready. He had never talked to anybody about AA. And it was a Sunday afternoon and no place to go. And he was loaded for bear. He was riding on that pink cloud. And he just wanted to tell me and Rena exactly what this program had done for him. And he was a tile setter, and I was an electrician. And so he sat down. And he sat in my front yard for three hours. Telling Rena and I about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I'd run upstairs and get a drink and come back downstairs and he'd still be talking. And Rena would lead him in, you know, to leading questions. And he'd answer them so I'd hear. And so this went on and on and on. Well, that was all right with me because I was getting my drink. And I was keeping comfortable so he could talk as long as he wanted to. I was getting my way, so what? I was the type of drunk that got drunk every day of my life. I'd wake up in the morning with the dry heaves, hooping and hollering. And look in the mirror and I'd say, Wesley, if you take a drink today, I hope God strikes you dead. And what would happen? I was living to drink and drinking to live. I couldn't survive. I couldn't go out and face that day without using alcohol. There was no way for me to face that day. Now, I'm not an alcoholic, couldn't understand a thing like that. But I had to have it to survive. To live, I had to have alcohol. And so I would say this. I'd say, God, if I take a drink today, I hope you strike me dead. And what happened? I'd go right downstairs, get out that half a pint that I'd hid the night before, and start my day. And then I would drink all day long. By 4 o'clock, I'd really get down to serious drinking. And by 7 o'clock, I was in oblivion. But somebody would take me home and get me upstairs, pass my family, my wife and my children, and I'd pass out on the bed. And that was my day. That was my day. This is the way I lived. I didn't know any other way to live. I had never heard of any other way to live. I thought everybody lived that way. I didn't know. I didn't care if you want to know the truth about it. So I got drunk Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. You see, Jim planted a seed. Jim planted a seed. And I want to illustrate. I want to give you the importance of this planting the seed. Plant the seed of Alcoholics Anonymous and then walk away. Don't ever feel discouraged. Plant the seed. If you tell an alcoholic about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, he will never forget it. Plant the seed of AA in his mind. Because someday he'll use it. Now, I was what you call a zinnia seed. You know, have you ever planted zinnias? You plant them one day in the morning, and the next day they're up, ready to go. Well, Jim caught me just right. And so I was drunk Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night. I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I went to see Jim, and I said, Jim, can I go to an AA meeting with you? And he says, Wesley, you can go tomorrow night if you're sober. He said, now, if you're not sober, Wesley, if you're going to drink, I'm not going to take you. And he had great big blue eyes. And when he looked at me, they just penetrated. And I knew Jim knew what he was talking about, and I knew Jim would not. He would not take me if I had one drink that day. He was emphatic about this, and I believed him. Well, I went home, went to bed, as usual. I got up the next morning with the dry heaves, hooping and hollering. And I looked in the mirror this morning, and I must have said something a little different. I must have said, God, help me not to take that drink this day. I must have said this. I didn't say nothing about striking me dead. I must have just said this simple little prayer, because that day I didn't take a drink. I just didn't take a drink. Now, this was November 13, 1947. This coming November will be 25 years. I have made every mistake that a human being can make in the last 25 years, being rehabilitated and put back in society through the application of the AA program. It's not a mistake I know of that I haven't made, but I'm going to make some more that I haven't heard of. But that's just being a human being. I have never seen a time, though, I've never seen a time that if a stumbling block was in my way, I could always make a stepping stone out of it. It was just according to my mental attitude. My mental attitude, right up here. This program works that way. Now, I have been re-educated back into living, the art of living, one day at a time. And the only mistake that I have made is that I just haven't taken a drink. A lot of times I've been right close to it, but I just didn't take it, through the grace of God. And I want to emphasize that word, grace, because it means an unearned favor. Nothing that I ever did in my life, that I ever deserved, this program handed to me on a silver platter. Nothing that I ever deserved for that. Because I was just no good when I came to Alcoholics & Alcoholics. I don't know enough words in the English language, a diction, that I could really describe how sorry I really was, and the type of individual that I was. So, I went to my first AA meeting this night, and of course, back in November, back in those days, they sent newcomers on the front seat, and they took whoever was in charge of the program that night in the back room, and they instructed him what to say. And he got up there, and he talked to you, because pigeons back in them days were few and far between, especially at 34 years of age, because back in those days, they said, well, you ain't been drunk, you haven't been drunk enough long enough, you just can't make it, you haven't got what it takes, you're too young. You couldn't have drank enough alcohol to be an alcoholic and be qualified to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is the way these old boys thought. They were 55, 60. They had certificates. They had showing that they wasn't insane. They had graduated from all kinds of rest homes, killer cures and everything else, jails and everything else you could think of. And here I was. I had never been jailed. The only reason I wasn't, they just didn't have a place in Pompano Beach fit enough to put me in. That's the only reason I wasn't. If they'd have charged the taxpayers and built a jail, I'd have been in there. I'd had to be. They couldn't have left me drive my car and run loose in society the way I conducted myself. But I went to this first meeting. Now I want to talk to the newcomers for a minute. I want to tell you a story. I know in this many people, there's always bound to be one or two that's pessimistic about this program. If one or two in this size crowd has always been pressured into Alcoholics Anonymous, it's been pressured. You're here because you don't want to be, but because somebody pressured you to come. You're very pessimistic about the program. Well, there was a man once that had two sons. One was a very pessimistic young man. The other one was a very optimistic young man. And he became extremely worried about these two young men, and he decided he'd carry them to the psychiatrist and have them analyzed. So the doctor, he went to the doctor, and the doctor put them together in a room and talked to them, and he could get nowhere with them. And finally he decided he would separate them. So he took the pessimistic one in a room with a lot of beautiful toys and said, Now son, I'm going to leave you with these toys for about an hour and I'll be back. I want to talk to you. He took the little optimistic one in another room, and in this room he had just a great big box of horse manure. And he said, Son, I'm going to leave you in this room for about an hour and I'll be back to talk to you. So now he went back to the doctor. He went to see the pessimistic one, and this little kid had not changed positions. And the doctor says, What's the matter, son? Why haven't you played with the toys? The little boy looked up at him and said, I know why you got me in here. He said, You want to analyze me. And he said, I just don't like to be analyzed. He said, You haven't got anything I need. He said, You're not going to help me. He said, I didn't want to come here anyway. My daddy forced me to come here. So I'm just not going to play with these toys anyway because I'll start to like them and then you'll take them away from me. The heck with you. The doctor said, Okay, son. He went next door to this little kid, the optimistic one, and this little kid was down on his knees just throwing this horse manure all over the room. And the doctor says, Son, what are you doing? And the little boy looked up at him and said, Well, doc, with this much horse manure around, there's got to be a pony somewhere in this box. There's got to be. So you're that pessimistic one. I'll tell you something. Of this many people from as many towns as we heard tonight, from all over your state, all over the land, have come and gathered here in Ely this day to talk about alcoholism because they have a disease that they can arrest, but they can never cure. It certainly should mean something to you. We say this. You stay with us 30 days and apply this program to the best of your ability. And we'll guarantee you that things will happen to you beyond your fondest dreams. If we don't have what you like, well, then you can go back to your misery. That's all right with us. But give us a chance. We want you. We need you. And the hand of AA is extended to you at this moment because it is here. These people are your friends, and they want to help you because they love you. Maybe you don't understand this today, but one day you will. There's nothing like the love of one alcoholic for another. Nothing like it. Well, I went to my first AA meeting, and this man was instructed to tell me that coming into AA was just like coming up to a railroad crossing. It says three things. It says, stop, look, and listen. He told me, he says, the first thing you've got to do is stop drinking. He said, now, if you've got any more of this stuff in you that you want to go out and have a few more, he said, just go on out and do it and get it over with. He says, well, that string of AA hangs on both sides of the door. It comes and goes. But he says, if you're going to make this program, you can't partake of alcohol. And he also mentioned something about mood-changing materials, which I didn't know nothing about. But he says, if you're taking any of those mood-changing materials, well, I say, you better get rid of them, too. Because he says, this is absence. This program is absence from alcohol. That's the only way it'll work. And then after you do that, he says, you've got to look around at these people and look at them good, because you can see what this AA program's doing for them. You can see it in their face. You can see the radiation in their face. You can see the happiness just coming out of them. And he says, you can listen to them like I'll sit here tonight and listen to you chatter here in this room. To me, this is music to my ear. When you get a bunch of alcoholics together chattering and talking and enjoying the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is nothing like it. It's not a sound in the world. It's more joyful than that to me. Listen at it. Listen at it. And he says, listen to this, too. He says, the men that you see here at this Alcoholics Anonymous meeting are successful in this program. And they are willing to give you exactly what they've got. They want you to have it. They want you to have it. It's up to you as an individual whether you get it or not. But he says, you can't beat success. You just cannot beat success. And so, it would pay you to listen to success. Just sit there and listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. And today, you show me an alcoholic that'll sit and listen. I'll show you an alcoholic that'll stay sober. My sponsor told me very early in AA, he told me, he says, Wesley, it's an amazing thing. He says, God give us two ears and one mouth. And he says, there must be a reason. There must be a reason. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen to success if you want to be successful. Don't listen to failures. Listen to success. And you'll find these only in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. What you hear in an AA meeting is the same to the brain as food is for the body. Your brain needs nursing and your body needs nursing. You see, I have found out that it is not my drinking that's stinking, it's my thinking. All of my trouble lies right up here and no other place. And this is the only place that I can find where I can keep my attitude in the right perspective. There is no other place that I can find it except to the member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank God I listen to this man. Stop looking and listen. And 25 years later, it's the best thing that I can tell a newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous. It's go to meetings and look at the people and listen to them. And stop drinking. So important. My first sponsor, Jim, after a few months, a year or so, he graduated. I'm going to get him out of the way because I want to tell you this. He graduated and I'm my sponsor's sponsor today. You know, he had to come back. He had no other place to go. You know? So today I'm my sponsor's sponsor. Jim is still, today he's sober and doing a wonderful job in Alcoholics Anonymous. But about two weeks after coming to AA, I found another sponsor. And this man has been steadfast. Today, he has been 30 years in AA. He's getting very, he's about 85 years old and he is one of the finest gentlemen that God ever put on the face of the earth. And this man took a tremendous interest in me because he had sons my same age at this time. And he wanted to teach me this AA program. And he stood me out on the corner of Los Solos and Andrews and Broward Boulevard and Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where I was going to meetings then. And he would tell me about this AA program. And it's one thing that he pounded in my head. And this was this. And I think this is one of the little ingredients that's kept me sober all these years. He says, You're an alcoholic. You've got to make staying sober your biggest business. It's your biggest business on earth. It's got to come before your family. It's got to come before your job or business. And it's got to come before society. Because what are you if you're not sober? And I ask an alcoholic that today. What are you if you're not sober? We are nothing. And so therefore, we are only kidding ourselves and being completely dishonest with myself. When we don't make staying sober, the Alcoholics Anonymous program, the number one thing in our lives. Nothing else can come ahead of it. Because if anything gets in, if we put it in the second slot, we are jeopardizing what we've already got. And we are losing what we have. We have become dishonest with ourselves again. Today, it's the same thing. My biggest business today is staying sober. It's number one thing in my life. When I get up in the morning, I say this to myself. I say, Wesley, if you can count to one today, you can make it. If I can just count to one. Don't take one drink for one day and keep one person sober. That's the opposite of the exercise every day. Because you see, I'm an alcoholic. I've got an incurable disease called alcoholism. And the only way that I can arrest it is through positive thinking. There is no other way. There is no other way. Because I've tried other ways and I was a complete failure. This way, I have been a success at it. And so why should I gamble? Why should I gamble? So it's got to be my number one objective every day. It's staying sober. And it may, I say this now, it may surprise you. You know, I need the program of Alcoholics Anonymous more today than I needed 25 years ago. You see, 25 years ago, I didn't have nothing to lose. What did I have to lose? I was qualified to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was completely depleted. I had no self-respect. I had my family didn't love me. I was an outcast of society. I was a bankrupt individual. I had no God. I had not a friend on earth. I had nothing. I'm an alcoholic. See, I had nothing to lose. Today, I have my self-respect. I have the love of my family. I live in a home today. I don't live in no house. How about that? I'm a successful businessman. And above all, the greatest asset I have is a God of my understanding. God is my friend. Through the application of the AA program, they've taught me how to be a friend to God. It's only through the application. So today, I am still an alcoholic. I still have two choices. I can have a drink of alcohol or I can have what I've got today. And so, therefore, that's why in AA, you've got to grow or you've got to go. There's no such thing as standing still. This is a continuous program one day at a time. Well, Chris taught me that this was my biggest business. Thank God he did because I started running up and down the highways in South Florida going to AA meetings. And my wife, of course, was staying home with my children. And, of course, being it was my biggest business and I was staying sober for Wesley Parish, I wasn't carrying much of this AA home because I was something like Ray last night. I didn't want nobody to know much about it because I wasn't exactly sure whether I was an alcoholic or not. You know? I had reservations. Maybe I'm not as sick as them other people. You know? Well, maybe I'm just not as sick as they are. This is new. This is a human thought to have. There's nothing wrong with it. Well, I was going up and down the highway not saying, coming home at night, going to bed, not saying a word to Rena. Well, if I was sober, that's all she wanted because Chris had talked to her. I knew over the telephone and she had called him and I knew they had conversed back and forth and he was telling her how I was getting along on the quiet side. And she was treating me just fine. I was living the life of Riley at home while she treated me better than she did her kids. And if she was a little out of line, I would always say to her, I said, now, Rena, I'm a sick man. Don't aggravate my disease. You know? Just don't aggravate me. Don't aggravate me. You know? I'd keep that taut line on her all the time just like you do on these walleye fish out here. That taut line, you know, not to get that hook out of her. I would say nothing to her about AA. Nothing. Because none of her business. So one day I came home. And about four months in AA, I came home and she says, Wesley, I'm awful proud of you. And I said, what are you proud of me about? She says, you've been sober for months. I said, let me tell you one thing. That's my damn business and you keep your nose out of it. That ain't a thing in the world to do with you. And I meant that. I'm staying sober for me. And that was all it was to it. Well, you know, we alcoholics are cunning and baffling. You know? She triggered something in me. I become alive. I found that she was present and I started looking at her. And I started analyzing her. And I said, my God, if I'm going to stay sober, there's got to be some changes in that department in my life. Here I've been sober for months and she hasn't done anything for her self-improvement. I got smart. I took some smartening pills. And I says, the thing for me to do is start teaching her this AA program. And so what did I do? I started 12-stepping my wife, which is a non-alcoholic. And that's an impossible situation. Now, this was before Al-Anon. This was before Al-Anon. So I started riding her up and down the east coast of Florida. And on our way back home, I would interpret what the AA mama had to say that night in his talk like she didn't know. But I explained it to her, you know? So she would be sure to get the point. And I always told her about her weakest points. Well, you know, I kept the pressure on this girl. Now, I'm going to go ahead and finish my family because, you see, this is a family disease. I didn't know this. See, I didn't know this. I was stupid, you see. I was a drunk. I was a derelict. I didn't know this. And so I kept this pressure on this girl for a year and a half, two years. And I would run her up a wall. But, you know, she didn't break. She stood steadfast and she took everything I throwed at her. She wouldn't raise her voice at me because she didn't want to rock the boat. She didn't want to aggravate my disease. And I was the most arrogant, egotistical individual that ever lived. So one day I came home about a year and a half after NAA and there she laid crying. And I said, what are you crying about? Because I gave her everything, you know? The necessities of life and I'd given her a little loving and everything else she's entitled to, you know? I said, what are you crying about? You should be a happy individual. She says, I've got palpitations of the heart. I says, Rena Parrish, it ain't but one thing in the world wrong with you. You don't live the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you'd live these 12 steps to the best of your ability every day, you wouldn't have palpitations of the heart. So this went on for three weeks. And finally, I had to carry her to the hospital and they put her through medical tests and physical examinations and so forth and they couldn't find anything wrong with her. So this doctor said, I want to talk with you. So he carried her underneath the palm trees out on the grass and said, now, Rena, I want you to tell me something. What's wrong with you? This is a mental situation. What's wrong with you? And for the first time, this girl broke down and told this doctor about me, what I had done to her. And he says, well, you know, he says, I want you to go home this afternoon. He says, I want to give you a prescription. He says, I'm going to give it to you verbally. It's no use writing it down, but don't you ever forget it. He says, I want you to go home and when you feel like giving that old man hell, I want you to give him hell. And she has fulfilled that prescription a zillion times, that's it. This doctor just tore up my nest. I'm not a Kenyan. He tore it up because, boy, today you hear Rena and I, we're in business together, and you hear Rena and I talking and you think we're going to kill each other. But then it's love and kisses. You know, we haven't pouted in our home for a long, long time. We don't pout no more. We just come out with it, bam. And I want to tell you what it's done. This is a beautiful part of it. You see, all of this time I lived in a house. You see, my kids would have nothing to do with me. But when Rena started forcing her opinions on me, whether I took them or not, that didn't make any difference, but forcing her opinions on me, and after a while, I had to give her the right to her opinions because she was going to tell me anyway, so for me to be more comfortable, I just will accept them anyway. So I had to give in to her opinions. I didn't have to believe them, no. But then I could give her my opinions, and so what happened? Here we were up to this time. We were strangers under our own roof. We had nothing to communicate about because I wouldn't allow her to express herself. And after this doctor told her this, and she started to expressing herself, well, what happened? I started expressing myself, and she started expressing herself, and then we come to an understanding. Because you see, I have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that communication is the start of all understanding. Did you know that? Did you know that? If you don't believe it, try it. Communicate. The people today that are getting divorces and people that live in houses and homes, houses is for the simple reason, I believe, is that they've lost the art of communication. And therefore, they don't understand each other. Reel and I talked this thing out. And we fought and we, and finally, after a period of time, you know, our love was born again. We started loving each other again. And when we started communicating and starting to understand each other, and this love started pouring back into us for each other, well, you know, our kids joined us. And because prior to this time, my son detested me. He would sit at a dinner table and he would ask his mother a question so she would ask me the question so I could answer the question to her so she could tell him. Isn't that awful? To sit at a dinner table. I had to accept this because this was the penalty of being an alcoholic. One of the penalties I had to pay. But as Reel and I communicated and started to understand each other, well, the kids started to understand him too because they got in on the conversation and they started throwing in their opinions. And the first thing, you know, the attitude of the whole house changed into a home. You know, this is what Al-Anon does. And I understand Al-Anon so well. And I want to thank you girls for the job that you do. And Alateen. And because it has changed many houses to a home. It's so vital to our society today of Alcoholics Anonymous is Al-Anon. And I want to tell the AA members to support them and help these girls because you can't find a better way to find a better partner in 12-step work than an Al-Anon. It's impossible to find a better partner because it takes two to tango. And if a man is going to stay sober, he's got to get things straightened out in his house. He's got a rough hoe to hoe. And you know what I'm talking about. And I had a rough hoe to hoe until I got mine straightened out. This is a family disease. It spreads all through them. And so, thank God. This is the day that we were married. This is the magnificent part of it. We enjoy ourselves. We can sit at home with each other night after night after night and thoroughly enjoy ourselves with each other. We're in business together and we enjoy life together and what a wonderful partnership it is. Just through learning how to communicate with each other. One forcing it on the other. See, this doctor was the greatest friend I ever had. This man in Alcoholics Anonymous, I thought I was smart and so I quit being an electrician and I went and turned over a new leaf and went in business and become an electrical contractor. Well, this brought on troubles, you know. This brought on I was a bankrupt when I started even. And so, this brought on floating wallpaper and all that kind of stuff that's naturally done by an alcoholic, you know, trying to make things meet together. And when I came into Alcoholics Anonymous, it was one heck of a mess. And I'd go down and see Chris about it. And I says, Chris, the sheriff was at my door today. He says, so what? First things first, Wesley, stay sober. I says, Chris, you don't understand. They're gonna put a padlock on my business. He says, well, that too shall come to pass. I'd say, well, Chris, I don't know what I'm gonna do. He says, well, I need you to help me and give me the right shots. And I says, you pass me that kind of stuff. And I says, you know that's not gonna work. He says, Wesley, this too shall pass. I shake my head. So finally, I went to him one more time. I wouldn't go to him no more about business. So I went to him one more time. I was having awful luck with the 12-step work I was doing. I didn't seem to be able to get a drunk to listen to me. I went down and told him, I says, Chris, I hear you say all the time, the more of this program I give away, the more I'll get. And I says, I want more of it, Chris. But I says, I go out and work with these alcoholics and I can't get none of them paying attention to me. They all, I says, they go to a meeting with me the next day they get drunk. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'd say, I'm working my heart out, I understand what you're talking about. He says, you're a two-stepper. And I says, what do you mean a two-stepper? He says, well, you've taken the first and you've gone to the 12th. And he says, what about those 10 steps in between? He says, you know, this is a program of recovery and you can't do it on the first and 12th step, Wes. He says, you have not paid one moment's your palace over alcohol and your life was unmanageable and then you start toting the message. And he says, that ain't the name of the game. He says, the trouble with you is, Wesley, you just, you can't give away nothing because you ain't got nothing to give away. Boy, ain't that awful? You know, it's an amazing thing. He says, it's an amazing thing, Wesley. He says, you know, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is numbered. He says, they number them one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. He says, there must be a reason. He says, you take these steps not cafeteria style but as they appear in number. And he said, now, if you go back and if you do that, you might get somewhere in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, this is a shock and blow for two, two and a half years to have your sponsor tell you this. Well, I went back and I read the 12 steps and I noted after a period of time that everybody that got up from the podium and talked that was successful in AA always talked about God freely. Have you ever noticed that? Anybody that's successful in AA talks about God freely, a power greater than their self. And I began noticing this when I had paid no attention to a power greater than myself. I was running around dog eat, dog fighting and bluffing my way through and having this football in my stomach and couldn't get rid of and that telephone would ring and I'd jump this high and I was just miserable. I was the most uncomfortable individual that ever lived. Fighting every day of my life. Fight, fight, fight. Staying sober. I don't know how I stayed sober but I stayed sober. Well, I said, well, you know, I have never said much about the power greater than myself. I said, my mother taught me all she should and I said, I haven't found that necessary in my life up to this point but I said, maybe it's something to it. And then I picked up the big book and I just opened it up to page 93. You know, it's one thing about the big book if you're ever in trouble, all you got to do is pick it up and open it up and the answer's on the page and you can read it. I had a friend who was working with another alcoholic introducing a program to him and he says, after a period of time he will ask you this question. He says, what did you do to stay sober? And this is in italics too. This must be very important. This is what the founders found that was very important. It says, tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God, he can choose any conception he likes provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles. Did you know that? That's the basis of Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, you can't soft-soap this God business in that age. That's what the big book says. Be emphatic about it. That ain't soft-soaping. You agree with that? Thank God they use that kind of language because, you see, I missed the boat completely for two and a half years. I had never taken the second step. I went from first to twelve and I had wondered why I hadn't been able to take that long journey between the first and second step. There is a long journey and there's a lot of changing an individual has to do. He has, he or she has to do 180 degrees in thinking between the first and second step. I found this out and this is how I found it out. I went to see my wife and when she talked about AA she just radiated a smile and you could just see the goodness coming out of her. She would stand in front of a podium and call herself a prostitute and everything else and it just seemed to make no difference. She just had the most beautiful way of life and I walked up to her house and I knocked on her door and she came to the door and she says come on in Wesley, go in the living room and sit down. She says I'm taking the cake out of the oven and I'll be right in. We'll talk. And this young man sat up at the steering wheel of this ship unafraid. He didn't have a trace of fear in his face and I had rode out three typhoons in the China seas and I knew this young man should be full of fear. I knew this but he was unafraid because you know what had happened. And I said to myself you know this young man has got a friend. He's got a friend. He's there with him. And my mind went back to the first day I came into AA. I didn't have one friend and I didn't want any friends. When I was an active sailor what happened? When I came into AA I started talking to these people and through conversation through communication there's that word again we come to an understanding of each other and we sealed the bond of friendship. You've done this many times in AA. And I became friends and I never talked to this woman what I came to talk to her about because I found my answer sitting there. I went back to my place of business after saying a few words to her that morning and I got me a wooden box about half the size of this podium and I put in this little town delivery truck that I had. I told him about all the dirty filthy things that I had done under the influence of alcohol. I poured my heart out to him and told him about it and told him that I was ashamed of it and I wished that I could forgive myself for what I had done under the influence of alcohol. You know I lived a year one time in Puerto Rico but I lived that way under the influence of alcohol for one solid year. I denied my family the right to even a living. Alcohol cheated me out of all of my sanity that I had. I was an insane individual and I stayed insane for a long time in alcoholic alcohol. And I remember the first time I drank a glass of alcohol and I knew that I was going to die and I knew that I was going to die and I knew that I was going to die and I continued communicating. I got an understanding of what this thing was all about. What my mother had taught me on her knee began having a meaning to me and I told him all of these dirty things that I had done and then one night I heard a woman say she says you know the greatest enemy is alcohol. And I found that that was the key. I cannot hide myself from me. I know what others will never know and I can see what others will never see. But whatever happens I always got to be self-respecting and conscious free. You see until I got to the point where I could be self-respecting and conscious free. And I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was doing and I knew what I was doing. I knew this. I knew this. I knew that God loved me. I knew this. I knew that God loved me. I knew that God loved me. This is the type of friend I have in the God of my understanding. This is the spiritual part of it as far as I'm concerned. You see, I found out that the word sober means not to be under the influence of. It doesn't say whether it's alcohol, whether it's drugs or whatever it might be. But as long as I was under the influence of Wesley Parrish's stinking thinking, I wasn't sober. I was in a state of insanity. So therefore, I was trying to hold on. And the big book says on page 58, it says, We try to hold on to these old ideas and the result is nil until we let go absolutely. You see, I had to let go of all these old ideas and I had to be willing to change Wesley Parrish through the faith in God. This second step is a very important part of our sobriety. Because then, you find... You understand how important this is in your life and what it has done for you. That it has eliminated the fear from inside of you. Then, what happens? You make a decision. This is the truth. You have found the key to get inside of Alcoholics Anonymous. The key to get into Alcoholics Anonymous is the truth. And then it's no trouble to make a decision to turn your life and your will over to care of God as you understand it. And through getting rid of the fear, then you are fearless. And this is what the fourth step says you have to be. It's fearless. You see, faith is the absence of fear and fear is the absence of faith. You have to get the fear, get rid of... The faith to get rid of the fear so that you will have the courage to take the fourth step. Because courage is without fear. Courage is without fear. And then you can afford to look at yourself just the way you are, not the way you pretend to be. You can bisect yourself out, lay yourself on a table, and bisect yourself out, lay yourself on a table, and bisect yourself out. You can bisect yourself right down the middle, open up, and look without turning your head. The first time in my life I had ever faced reality. I'd always pretended to be something that I wasn't. Always pretending to be something that I wasn't. Lying and cheating and dishonesty. But you know, it's the greatest thing on earth. When I found what I was like. Because if one man in my life put it in the words of what I found that diagnosed my case, and that was Howard Benhoff of Cleveland, Ohio. Howard said that he had gangrene of the soul. That's what I had. But position, heal thyself. I became willing to remake and remold a complete new way of life. And this is what this thing is all about. In the pursuit of happiness. Is to remake and remold a complete new way of life. You can't take your old stinking self, your old drinking, and mix it in with a new self. And come up with something new. It's just impossible. You see, it ain't my drinking that's stinking, it's my thinking. So I've got to get rid of all of that stinking, drinking, thinking. Before I can come up with a new way of life. Before I'm comfortable. Before I can even start. And so I've found this is a wonderful challenge in life. Is to work upon a new personality. Remaking and remolding this new way of life. And I've worked on that for a long, long time. Because you see, the more of this new life that I get, the more freedom I have of my old self. And anybody that's a member of Alcoholics Anonymous that has found how to get rid of their old selves is a free person. I don't know a more free person on earth. You know in the church, you know what they call this? They call this to be reborn again. This is what they're talking about, but I never knew that. I heard it all my life, but I didn't know what they were talking about. But I had to let go. Let go. Since that time, you know, I have done nothing but had wonderful things happen to me. The moment that Wesley Parrish became willing to get in tune with the world, he started getting the abundance of this program. And this program has gave me the abundance of life. It has given me spiritual abundance and it has given me material abundance. It has given me everything. It has given me everything that a man could desire upon the face of the earth through the grace of God. But you see, when you are getting the abundance of this program, you're in the apex of the program. And this is where so many people, and you reach this about the 7th to the 10th year. And this is when you get to work the hardest. When you're on top, that's when you get to work the hardest. Because here's what happens, and I can talk about this because it happened to me. One night, a man called me and told me to come on my AA night. He called me and said, Wesley, I want you to come out to my house tonight. My house needs air conditioning. I was getting along fine. I didn't have to sell the man air conditioning. But you see, I put AA in the second slot. I said, why, sure. And the thing went through my mind. Well, I'll go. I've been wanting to go down to Joe Blow's meeting for a long time anyway. I like to walk in there and say hello to the boys. And so I'll go out tonight and I'll sell this man. And tomorrow night, I'll go down to this other meeting and I'll skip my meeting this week. Now, that's a little thing, isn't it? Huh? But I broke a cycle. The next night, I didn't go down to the other man's meeting because Reno wanted to go somewhere. I put this aside. So I was putting AA in the second slot. And this thing kept pyramiding. I became selfish. The weather got real hot and everybody wanted to buy air conditioning. So I was going out every night. And so, therefore, I wasn't going to AA. I was making them sales, making them money. So, therefore, I was making. I was putting the material. But the material thing is more paramount in my mind than I was the spiritual thing. See? I was looking for the pleasures of life. Well, after a month or two of this, you know, the summer's pretty long in Florida. After a time of this, I can't go through the complete detail, but I started justifying this in my mind. I would see somebody walking down the street and I'd say, one of my pigeons, and I'd say, you know, if it hadn't have been for me, he wouldn't be sober today. I'd say, you know, if it hadn't have been for me, he wouldn't be sober today. I'd say, you know, if it hadn't have been for me, he wouldn't be sober today. I'd say, you know, if it hadn't have been for me, he wouldn't be sober today. Complacency, quiet pleasure inside of me, you know, started working. What a tremendous job I had done with my fellow man and how I had served him and what good I'd been to him. Why, they don't need me around there. Hey, I haven't been there in three weeks and they still say they're getting along fine in my group. I don't see why they need me. Let the newcomers pick up the ashtrays and make the coffee and get the meetings up. They don't need me around there no more. Oh, I'll go about every six. I'll go about every six weeks or every, maybe much the month that I'll sit back on the back row and if a newcomer would like to have a few pearls of wisdom, I'll be available for about five minutes. This is being a human being. And what happened? From there, I went to dependency. I started depending upon my own self to justify the indifference, the apathy that I had about the AA. Then I started depending on my own self. I forgot about my family. I forgot about my AA group. I forgot about my friends in AA. I forgot about God. I forgot about everybody but one, the great big I. And about that time, Chris grabbed me by the collar and he started shoving me around and telling me just what I was because you know where I was headed? I was headed right back into bondage again. You see, this is why we have to live this program day by day. We're only cheating ourselves. When things start looking good. When you're on top is when you got to work the hardest. When you start getting them new automobiles and things are, notes are all paid up and the bank started talking to you and you're building a new house and you're getting good clothes on the wife's back and you're buying her diamonds and you're putting furs on her, you know. You can't have from Prosperity and Alcoholics Anonymous. See, makes you a big shot. This is when you got to work the hardest. And this happens between the 17th. It's the 10th year. I know because I've been there. It's a dangerous, most dangerous part of a man's sobriety. And we lose more people between 7 and 10 than any other place. And don't ever forget it. If I leave nothing else in Minnesota, I want to leave that. That's when you work. When you're on top, that's when something's trying to knock you off. You know, I got in this mess and I got to, you know, I got to the point where I was rationalizing and I'd come home and I'd talk to Rena about it. And I was carrying it home with her and I'd see one of my men, one of my pigeons talking to somebody else. And I never, I was very selfish with my pigeons. I was like an old hen with her biddies, you know. I didn't want nobody to confuse them. I thought I was the only one to keep them sober. So I'd go to a meeting and I'd see one of my boys talking to somebody and I'd say, when he got through, I'd call him over. I'd say, what are you talking to that guy about? And he'd tell me. And I'd say, well, now, how long has he been sober? He's been sober two years. I'd say, well, how long have I been sober? He'd say, you've been sober seven, eight. That's right. Now, who should know the answer? Who? Don't you think it's spirits counseling this thing? You better come talk to me. You better come talk to me. This is being a human being. This is the way we grow in this thing and the pitfalls that we fall in. So I went. I went home one day and I said, Rena, I think I'll go to North Carolina. She said, what do you want to go to North Carolina for? I said, well, they're having a little convention up there. I'd like to go. I said, I think it'll do me some good just to get away from me. I've been working too hard. She said, well, if it'll do you good, go. I said, something's wrong with you. And she said, if it'll help you, go. And so I went to this convention and I came back from this convention with one word. And that word was intelligentsia. I had become an intelligentsia. Intelligentsia in alcoholic synonymous. This young man kept saying this word over and over and over. Intelligentsia, intelligentsia. And it stuck in my mind. The only thing I remember about the meeting. And I brought this word home with me and I diagnosed it in my mind. And one time a man told me, he said, you don't pronounce it right. I said, hell, I can't even spell it either. But I know what it means. It means a damn know-it-all. I had become a know-it-all in alcoholic synonymous. I had stopped growing. I had stopped growing. And I knew somewhere in this program, in this little convention, triggering me into the facts of life. And I knew somewhere in this program of alcoholic synonymous, they had an answer. And I started searching for it. And I found it. One day by chance in a grapevine. I found it on the back page of a grapevine inside. That's the 12 traditions. Have you ever tried to live the 12 traditions in your everyday life along with the 12 steps? If you haven't, you've missed something. You've missed the pursuit of happiness, an avenue to happiness that goes beyond your fondest dreams. You know, I found this out by chance, by suffering in this program. And I want to pass it on to you. It takes about five minutes for me to tell you this, and I'm going to sit down. I found out that I could interpret the 12 traditions in my everyday life just like I do the 12 steps. In other words, the 12 steps is written at the we level. The 12 traditions is written at the group level. Now, what's the difference? What's the difference between we and a group? That's a good question. It takes two to make an AA group. So that's we. It takes two to make we. So we and a group's the same. Tom Lovering of Virginia says all it takes to start a new group is two resentments and a dozen donuts. So AA and AA we and a group is the same. And I have never practiced the 12 steps at the we level. I've always practiced them at the I level. And I've always talked to them at the I level. I never say, we do this. I say, I do this. And then they come to me, why shouldn't I practice the same thing with the 12 traditions? And so I started to apply the 12 traditions to my everyday life along with the 12 steps. You see, I found out that it was important not only for Wesley Parrish to live with Wesley Parrish, but I thought it was mighty important for Wesley Parrish to start living with you. And up to this time, I pay no attention to you whatsoever. You know, I thought I was a credit to you. I was an asset to you. Isn't that awful? Now, here's what happens. Now, I'm not trying to change the AA program. I'm just telling you how I apply. It says, number one, my common welfare comes first. Me staying sober is my biggest business. That's my common welfare. Without me being sober, I'm nothing. So it's got to be number one. My personal recovery depends upon AA unity. It's my responsibility to live in unity. I've got to live in unity with you. It's not your responsibility to live in unity with me. I've got to live in unity with you whether you live in unity with me or not. I've got to love you whether you love me or not. You know, the greatest teacher on earth once said, what is it to love those who love you? That's nothing. But to love those who hate you is something. Have you ever tried it? Have you ever tried it? It's a nice thing to try every day. Start loving your enemies and you'll wear them to death. And this is what the AA program tells you to do. Now, if you don't want to be happy, you don't have to do this. All you have to do is just get in a personality clash with the other fellow. Then what happens? Everybody's unhappy. You see, we are entitled to the same thing in Alcoholics Anonymous that the first drink gave us. And that's to be happy. That ain't an alcoholic in the sound of my voice that would ever have drank as much alcohol as he drank unless he drank a lot of alcohol. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. That's the first thing. He had a good effect on him. And so, therefore, we are searching for the same thing in this program that the first drink of whiskey gave us. To be happy. And so, therefore, I've got to love you whether you love me or not. That's my responsibility. I have but one ultimate authority. A loving God as he expresses himself in my conscience. A loving God. This God that's love is spontaneous, it's unlimited, and it's unmotivated. I have to practice. I have to practice. using Him as my ultimate authority. I will never perfect it. He says I don't have to. But I practice, practice, practice. And that's progress. Use God as your ultimate authority and see what happens. Things will happen to you beyond your fondest dreams. I am but a trusted servant. I do not govern. I don't govern nothing anymore. I've been a great white father. I've been a bleeding deacon. I've been everything in a group that will cause all kind of chaos. I've done it and I'm guilty and I apologize for it. But today I'm a servant. A servant is never the boss. Right? This is the way you be happy. The only requirement for AA, my requirement for AA membership is to stop drinking. That's all I have to do, just not take a drink. I join AA every morning. I'm here tonight for my medicine, for my disease. I stopped drinking this morning. Why shouldn't I give you the right to the same? How many times have I pointed my finger and I said, He'll never make it. He hasn't got what it takes. Have you ever said that? Who am I to judge whether a person is ready for the Alcoholics Anonymous or whether or not am I playing God? The AA program don't tell me that. It says the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking and every person on the face of the earth has a right to join AA tomorrow morning if he's got a desire to stop drinking. It makes no difference how low or how high his bottom is. It doesn't say anything about it in the Twelve Traditions. This is, great tolerance. It's taught me great things in tolerance and patience and understanding of my fellow alcoholics. I should always be autonomous except in matters affecting AA as a whole. The word autonomous means self-governed. I should never go along with a crowd just because at that particular time it's more convenient that I will look better in society. I know right from wrong. I've got a doctor's degree in negative thinking. I'm an alcoholic. We have one sign that's going to settle off this. We've got a sign up in little, a room in Pompano Beach that says this. Anything just about right is wrong. Get that? If you want to be happy. If you want to be happy now, anything just about right is wrong. And you know, if you're an alcoholic, you know right from wrong. I don't have to go in that with you. I'm going to, two more and then I'm going to stop. I'm going to skip five and come back to it and I'm going to seven. It says, AA is fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. They say, what has that got to be? Will you be, happy? Why should that amount to anything to you? Why, just to be happy? Well, I'm going to tell you this. There's no person on the face of the earth that can be happy unless that individual meets his responsibilities. Did you know that? You can't be happy unless you meet your responsibilities. All right. When I first came into AA, I sit on the front row. Well, that was my seat. And right next to me was a millionaire. And every time the basket passed him, after the meeting, he would reach in his pocket and pick out one of these little old bitty pinch pocket books. And when he snapped it open, you could hear it all over the meeting room. And you know what I'd say? Pardon me for this, Reverend. I'd say, that tight son of a bitch. If he can't put but a dime in there, I ain't going to put nothing. Now, who was I cheating? Who was I cheating? I ask you. I was cheating me. Because I've been guilty of this all my life. Cheating Wesley. I was cheating me because I wasn't meeting my responsibility. AA tells you, don't give till it hurts, but give till it feels good. We are fullest, self-supporting, declining all outside contributions. You know, it's no happier time in the year for me than at Christmas time. My banker, one of the bankers usually calls me in Pompano Beach and says, Wesley, we're fixing to cut up the pie. I said, well, isn't that nice? What kind of pie is it? He says, the money pie. You know, he's big shot. And I said, well, what are you calling me about? He says, well, you belong to one of our favorite charities and we certainly want to make you part of it and we want to give you part of the pie. And I said, well, what charity are you talking about? Well, don't you belong to Alcoholics Anonymous? I said, well, sure I do. He says, well, we want to give you, y'all have done such a tremendous job in our community this year, we want to give you part of the pie. You know, he's making a big pitch out of this thing. And then I throw my chest out and I tell him, I said, I'm sorry, we don't want none of your money. Ain't that something to tell a backer? We don't take no outside contribution. Ain't that something? Well, we can only say that as long as you and I meet our responsibilities. How about that? To your group and to Alcoholics Anonymous as a whole. It's just that simple. AA relies upon its membership for support. And if we're going to be happy, this is necessary. Each group has but one promise and one promise and one promise to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. I've talked to you at length about my disease of alcoholism. I still suffer from the disease of alcoholism. Now, I'm going to ask you the question. I don't care how long you've been sober. Do you still suffer from the disease of alcoholism? Are you here tonight to take your medicine for the disease? Answer this in your mind. Then listen to what the AA program says for me to do. It has but one primary purpose to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. I suffer every day in my life from the disease of alcoholism. And so, therefore, every time you see me, it's your responsibility to 12-step me. And every time I see you, it's my responsibility to 12-step you. You know, we've got to love each other. And this is what 12-step is all about. It's loving each other. I love you and you love me. This is so important in the longevity of Alcoholics Anonymous. Harm the health of alcoholics throughout the land has been pushed out and left out of Alcoholics Anonymous because they walk through that door and nobody ever says the word to them because they think they've got it made. Nobody ever has it made in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Uh-uh. The old-timer needs loving a lot of times, a lot more than the new member that just walked through the door. He's suffering more. Just because you've been in AA 25 years or 20 years or 50 years or 50 years or 15 years is no sign you don't have living problems anymore and you can get just as far down in depression as you could the day that you came in AA. Love each other. 12-step each other. This is the longevity of Alcoholics Anonymous. And this is up to each and every one of us as individuals to do this. Each and every one of us to practice this within ourselves because we have a perfect program of living if we would only live by it. Through our own interpretation. There's a legend that's often been told to the boy who searched for the windows of gold. The windows of gold he saw far away as he looked in the valley at sunrise each day. And he longed to go down in the valley below. But he lived up on the mountain all covered with snow. And this is a trip that he wanted to make. So one morning as the dawn broke through and the valley sparkled with diamonds of dew he started to climb down the mountainside with the windows of gold as it's golden in the sky. He traveled all day all weary and worn and bleeding. Feeding clothes that was torn. And finally he entered into this little peaceful valley town just as the golden sun went down. But lo! He had lost his shining light because the window was dark and had once been bright and tired and hungry and lonely. He yelled oh please, oh please won't you show me the windows of gold. And a kind hand touched him and said behold high on the mountain is a window of gold. For the sun going down on a great golden ball had vanished the windows of his cabin so small. The kingdom of God with its great shining light is like the wonders that shine so bright. There's no far distant place somewhere. It's just as close to you and I as a silent prayer. Your search and my search for God will end and begin when we look for God and find him there right in here. You've got to thank God to know God. Thank you.