I Always Got a Room with Twin Beds One to Sleep in and One to Throw Up In – Bill G.

For you who have this second edition of the big book, Bill\'s story is in that book. His story is, there\'s nothing the matter with me as he sold his pair of shoes for two bottles of wine. And without any further ado, I\'m looking forward to hearing Bill. Bill, please. And now we come to Bill Green. Boys and girls, this is a healthy looking bunch, I\'ll tell you that right now. And for a Friday night, we have a very fine representative gathering. I\'m sure the building is what attracted you here. I\'m sure. Christ, this is better than the Rome Coliseum, isn\'t it? You know, as I stand in front of you tonight, I\'m deeply grateful for Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob. And at the 20th anniversary of AA in St. Louis, I was privileged to be on the program. And I\'ve never forgotten it. That out of all of these tens of thousands, they would ask me to speak at an international convention. It\'s quite an honor, as it is to be here tonight. This is truly a fine representative gathering of AA at work. And in the years that have passed, I\'ve continued to go to meetings and be associated with AA in all of its ramifications. In the duties that one learns to perform, in the tasks that are allotted to you, and the chores that you do, and the 12-step work that is so important. I\'d like to paint you a few word pictures of Bill Green, the alcoholic, if I may. Hmm. It\'s so good. I think that was Jackie Gleason\'s line. I don\'t know. And you can judge from what I say whether it has any meaning to you or not. This is just my opinion. This isn\'t AA\'s opinion. I only tell you of myself and what I did and how I drank. Why I drank, God in his wisdom only knows. I don\'t. Because as a young man, we were privileged in the Green household to have a pitcher of beer on the table at every dinner. And as a young boy, I never cared a hell of a lot for the flavor, but I sure enjoyed the effect it produced. And as time passed, it seems that I just gravitated to it a little more and more. And as a... a 15-year-old kid, I was at the stage to where my parents thought I was in cards. I was stealing bicycles. We were opening letters out of mailboxes. And all of that kid stuff, which I thought was very thrilling because the money came out of those envelopes in those days. They didn\'t have... they didn\'t write money orders or checks or anything. Everybody mailed cash. And I thought it was great when we could open a letter and see a $5 bill flowed out of there. So they shipped me off to a military academy, a fine Catholic school. And I was privileged... No, I wasn\'t privileged. I was forced to stay there laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter glad printed laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter ever created in the retail furniture business. And it seems everybody drinks that sells. Most all-selling men are two-fisted drinkers, and I liked that. I didn\'t care a hell of a lot for the flavor, but I did enjoy the effect it produced. Oh, when I was half in the tank, I was a veritable tiger. I\'d look at myself in the mirror and I\'d say, oh, Bill, you\'re magnificent. Now, isn\'t that a terrible way to start out life as a young man? But I was fortunate to meet a lady that I married, and we were very close. We were very happy. And we had two lovely children. It didn\'t interfere with my drinking, but it seemed somehow or another it interfered with my working. At this early age, I realized that working for someone else, I would never have any money, because he got it all. I remained a proposed mar aisme, that I had. As a young man I had to face difficult treatment made up for, and I think it was something I would have said, if you were not happy with life, we should stop doing any more of this crap. And I did. I started drinking. I opened a bar. There was another café that opened on the street as soon as it closed, and we drank. When we lefthee with Bill and I, we drank. We came back to a bar and I was a bit drunk and I was a bit worried about my caner. I got to a bar and had a job on us and we got off and it had been more wine than I had ever drunk. So a friend of mine, a little Jewish fellow he and I got together and opened up a little store. And I\'m not drinking too much at this particular time because I was able to carry it and hold it and oh man, business was good, and we made money, We made money. And I used to stand out in front of the store on Saturday night. See, in those days we were open seven days a week, just like you are here. And there\'s a fellow by the name of Charlie. He came along one Saturday night and said to me, Bill, I\'m glad you\'re here. You\'re just the fellow I want to see. I said, oh, yes. I looked at him with a rather jaundiced eye because I knew a little bit about him. He said, you and Wilma are coming over tonight for a rubber bridge. Oh, God, what an insane suggestion. Well, I said, Charlie, I don\'t think I\'m going to be able to make it. And, oh, yes, he says, it\'s all set. The girls got together this afternoon. That was auction bridge in those years. A more insidious, insipid game was never created to the mind of man. And, you know, we always managed to get to Charlie\'s nine-ish, you know. And there on the table, next to the card table, said, oh, my God, I\'m going to be able to make it. It\'s a moldy martini. Oh, it had been sitting there since seven o\'clock. But be very kind to it because it\'s the only one you\'re going to get that night. So I learned to stay away from Charlie at an early age. My drinking continued to increase. And I... I discovered I was married to a miserable woman. Isn\'t that so? Why don\'t you be a man and drink like Charlie? What the hell, if I drank like Charlie, I\'d never be where I am tonight. Thank you. Thank you. She hid this stuff in all sorts of spots that you think you all know about. And I decided that the only way that I could do anything about this, I wouldn\'t drink at night. I\'d get loaded and come home and have dinner and then go to bed. But I had a bartender friend of mine. And I stopped in this particular morning and I had a burning urge. Oh, in the morning I needed a drink so bad I couldn\'t taste it. And he made me a concoction. You poor kid, he said. I know just how you feel. And I know he did. And he said, I\'ll fix you something that\'ll relieve you. Where do you hurt? Oh. I said, Jack, I hurt all over. Honest to God, I do. I\'m so sick. Yes, he says, I know. And he went behind the bar and he fussed around in there. And he had a white of an egg, a jigger of gin, and a dash of orange bitters. It is now 1030 in the morning. Of course, my partner, I guess, is wondering what the hell happened to me. and I drank it. Oh, my God, was it good. Oh, my Jack, make me another. He says, I will. And I said, you better make me another. He says, I\'m glad to, my boy. Now, he says, you\'re set for the day. Well, I was sure set for the day, all right. I weaved in. Oh, buddy, how are you? He says, what the hell? What\'s the matter with you? Oh, I said I had to get a little medication. I have a terrible throat. Yeah, she says, I guess so. So from then on, I was a morning drinker. I had to have that booze in the morning. It got to the point to where I was drinking old overhaul, I\'ll tell you. I\'ll tell you that as a young man. That was a hundred-proof rye and mighty powerful. And I got so I would bring a pint into the store with me. You know, those little pints fit in your jacket. And we had two desks there. Bernie\'s was there and there was mine. Of course, the bankroll was in our pockets. And he looked over at me. He sees me slipping. He sees me slipping this pint in the desk. He says, what the hell are you bringing booze in here? I said, Bill, you don\'t understand. I mean, if a customer falls down or is taken. I mean, I\'ve got to have something to revive them. Well, he became very suspicious of me. And I said to him, what is this you\'ve got on your desk there? There was something called a scratch sheet. And he played the horses. I see there\'s a few horse players here. And I looked at all of these figures. It didn\'t make any sense to me. Oh, he said, I only bet a couple of bucks now and then. I became very suspicious of him. Well, time passes rapidly when you\'re young and having fun. And me being thoroughly disgusted of my environment at home. I thought I ought to leave. I didn\'t plan on telling anybody that I was going, but I thought I was going to leave. And so I went to Dee and I said, Bernie, I think we ought to dissolve this partnership. I have a feeling that I want to go farther west. Oh, yeah, well, he says, that\'s fine with me. I was thinking, well, I\'m going to go to the West. I\'m going to go to the West. The guy was glad I wanted to break it up. So we dissolved our partnership. And I decided not to tell the late Mrs. Green the situation. I loaded the car up and away I went. Well, you know, I developed a nasty little habit over the years. When I\'d get too much to drink, I\'d have to throw up. God, what a waste of booze. So on the way west, I always managed to get, well, they didn\'t call them motels then, they called them cabins. Cabins, a buck a night with one bed, two seats. I was a little bit scared. I was a little bit scared. Two dollars a night for two beds. And I always got one with twin beds. One to sleep in and one to throw up in. See, I was a high-type fellow. And I just kept on going. And I went all the way out to the West Coast. And we\'re having our convention there next week. We\'re sweets here in Seattle and that\'s where I stopped. And I opened up a beautiful store. Oh, I forgot to tell you, before I left, my late father passed away and left me the wherewithal to do these things that I\'d planned on doing. So I had Berni\'s money and my money and the old man\'s money, and by God, I was ready to try. But it seems at this point my working is interfering with my drinking, or my drinking was interfering with my working. I was selling invoices that hadn\'t been paid for, and all of this stupid stuff that a drunk does, you know. And, well, what happened? In 20 months I was a bankrupt. And as soon as I went broke, I thought of my dear wife. This is some two years after I left the court. And I knew this kid needed me. I must hurry home. So after the bankruptcy was cleared, I had $60,000 in accounts receivables that I had managed to keep out of the court. And an old and dear friend says, Bill, I don\'t know what you\'re going to do with that paper. He says, I\'d take it off your hands for ten cents on the dollar. I\'d give me the money, Otto. Give me the money. And so I did. And so I did. And so I did. And so I did. And so I began my way back to New Jersey, where we were living at the time in Richfield Park. And it took me nine months to get back home. I came a long way, but the way of San Diego, you know. And I arrived back in a place charitably called Lincoln Park. And I arrived back in a place charitably called Lincoln Park. I had this thin Oldsmobile. Seems I\'d had a little discussion with a couple of greyhounds on the way home. And I sold that for 50 bucks. And promptly drank it up. I peddled everything else, the spare tire, took the radio out and all that before I peddled it. And I felt so sorry for old Bill. Oh, God, what have they done to this fine Irish Catholic boy? What have they done? Oh, I felt terrible. I called my residence. No, this phone has been disconnected. Oh, my God. Now what am I going to do? I\'m reduced to a pair of... what today you call jeans, with very little fanny in them, an old faded blue shirt, and an excellent pair of Stacey Adams shoes. And you know, Lincoln Park... I\'ll tell you a little bit about Lincoln Park. Lincoln Park is really, and this is true, is the southbound of a northbound horse, is what it is. I discovered there\'s more bums there than anything else. And I\'m sitting on this bench, and this is in November, colder than a well-digger\'s fanny in a Klondike, wondering what\'s going to become of old Bill when along comes another bum. And what\'s it like to be a pussy to have some shade on your shirt? And this sir, is just the man excited to look me in the eye, because I could pick up at any date to try to get someone to pull me home. The interview has been fantastic. And I don\'t even realize the count of bums. I have another guy in here today in a hurry. Don\'t worry, you\'re eh. And you should be too. I can tell you right away how much I love bums. And Mr. Kond effective on my OWN horse, thousands of bucks on the deck. I\'ve had so many times. Newark, New Jersey, to a place called Cheap Charles, aptly named. In we go, and it\'s starting to snow. And he looked down at us and said, well, I said, well, he says, take them off and let me look at them. I said, these were Stacy, I don\'t care who made the damn shoes, take them off and I\'ll look at them. Well, he says, they\'re a little damp, but all right, I\'ll go for it. And he gave me 75 cents and a pair of canvas relievers. Well, now, right next door to Cheap Charlie\'s, what do you think was there? A gin mill. And what did they have on sale that day? Two bottles of muscatel that had never seen a grape. A grape for 75 cents. Right next door to the gin mill, there\'s a convenient alley. Me being the host, I ushered my new founder. We uncorked the first jug. I handed it to him. He took a big drink and he put his arms around me. And I took a big drink and I put my arms around him. I want to tell you there\'s no love like one drunken bum for another. Back to the park we go. He\'s telling me of his vast conquest in the field of chemistry. I was amazed at this story. In turn, I had to tell him about my chain of furniture stores. When I saw aà you know 바로 dé raiguèz meu cake. You see the first liar didn\'t have a chance. And we\'re setting there on this bench, surrounded by all this snowflakes. And I was describing my newest venture. I\'d designed a new front for the store and I turn around for his approval. And the book was gone. he took the full bottle with him. This is not a nice man. What\'s going to become of me? And I\'m crying. Oh, I cried beautifully. No, they still do. When along comes another bum. Say, kid, he said, let you and I go down to see Sally. I don\'t know the lady. I have no money. And I\'m cold. No, he says, I mean the Salvation Army. Well, now. He says, you know, they\'ll give us a flop. Is that so? Yes. Well, let\'s go. And down we go. And sure enough, the guy gave us a room. First of all, he sent us up there to take a shower. He said, I\'ll put you guys up tonight because I wouldn\'t let a dog stay out of the room. I wouldn\'t let a dog stay out of the room. I wouldn\'t let a dog stay out on a night like this. And he took us up to this dismal, cold shower. He gave us a piece of cloth that had never seen the soft soap process. And a bar of soap. As I looked through this fine group, I don\'t see anybody here old enough that remembers that old soap. Old yellow Fels naphtha. And I thought, well, I don\'t know. I don\'t know. Yes, well, I was wrong. You all look so young. Forgive me. Well, I scrubbed up very daintily, pranced out, and he ushered us into a room where there were 200 men sleeping on these World War I Helen Gould cots. He threw us a horse blanket apiece. He says, now get in there and build me up. Yes, sir. I said, yes, sir. I said, I was afraid he was going to throw us out. Well, I was at the point now where I know I\'m not going to live through the night. I know that. And I think I\'d just fallen asleep when a bell rings and the lights go on. Everybody up, this guy says, standing up at the front. I looked at his cap that said Envoy on there. Now, he says, you two new guys, do you want to work? Well, I said, I\'m really not a well man, Envoy. Well, then get out. Oh, I took a look, and I went over and looked out the window. The snow was hip deep to a tall Indian out there. I hastily reconsidered. I said, but I don\'t have any shoes. I only have these mules, these greats. I don\'t have any leavers. So they got me a pair of shoes. I wore eight and a halfs then. They got me a pair of tens. You put paper in the toes. And they ushered me into a room about this size. It\'s called the Bailey Room. And in the middle of this room stands this huge steel press surrounded by acres and acres and acres of newsprint. I never saw so darn much paper. I never saw so darn much paper in my whole lifetime. Now, he says, you don\'t have to have a college degree to operate this thing either, Green. Oh, no? I said, yeah. You have to fold the paper and straighten it up and put it in. And when it\'s full, you call, well, we say Gus. You call Gus over there, and he\'ll attach the wires to it, and you begin all over again. Well, let me tell you something about the old alcoholic. When he starts to sober up, he works at it hard. God, he made it harder than anybody. By God, I bailed more paper there and Pennington Street than there\'s ever been bailed before since. And right away, I\'m looking for a promotion. I said to the Envoy, I said, Envoy, don\'t you have a better job for a bright boy like me? Well, this was Friday. They pay you 95 cents a week your first week. Nowadays, my God, you get 15, 20 dollars a week. Of course, it doesn\'t buy any more than the 95 cents did then. So they made me a helper on the truck. We went out into the oranges. All that week as my adventure out there continues, I\'m running in and out of the yard and bringing out stuffed clothes and shoes and paper. I\'m looking at the guy driving this rig. I say, now he\'s got it made. One of the boys brought out a nice coat with a velvet collar on it. These are in the years when spats were in vogue. You wore spats with your velvet Chesterfield and a bowler hat. And, so, I went to him and he said, you show up Monday morning. So Monday morning I\'m right there. And then I\'m out there in the oranges and I\'m running in and out of the yard bringing out the stuff that the driver would say, I\'ll take that right up here, son. Oh, that\'s the way the game was played. Get a nice pair of shoes. I\'ll take those up here. So the driver was the guiding genius of the safari. So I worked hard that week. And Friday night, I got my three bucks. I buddied up to the driver. I took him out and got him drunk. Monday I got his job. Laughter Applause Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter such as the progression of alcoholism. How far is low? What is the bottom of the barrel? I became a penny bum. I learned to like Peralta high better than booze. I made the rounds of the city hospital. A late Dr. Altman, God rest his soul, said to me, Bill, if I see you up here one more Saturday night like this, I\'m going to call the cops. Well, that kind of broke up my routine. I ended up in the Jersey City Medical Center under what they charitably called restraining sheets. That\'s a fancy name for a straitjacket, you know. And somehow they had found my wife. I don\'t know how. You\'ll have to give next to Kim before you could get in there. The Jersey City Medical Center was just open then. And they found my wife and they asked her, would she come down? I think she came down to identify the body. She was surprised to see me. She said, Ma, I\'ve been a bad boy. Oh, my God. She said, how could you get into there? How did you get? I don\'t even want to talk about it. And the floor man there and his white ducks and his white shirt says, why don\'t you let him try? Yeah, yeah. She said. Would you try AA Bill? This is November 1939. And I said, oh, yeah. Get me out of here. This big guy is mean to me. I couldn\'t crunch my way out of a paper bag. But, you know, you girls. Have lots of. Passion. You just just love we alcoholics. That\'s all there is to it. Indeed, it\'s true. And she took me home home. He took me to a little basement apartment on High Street. It was 40 bucks a month. She had taken a job as a waitress. She was a gently bred girl. She had no skill. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And it\'s anonymous. an honorable profession. And she took me into this little apartment and she bought me a $15 suit. She said, will you go to the meeting? The meeting was on Wednesday night in the old Helen McHugh Studios on West Washington Street. And at that time in AA there were three meetings. There was 24th Street Clubhouse, there was the South Orange Fieldhouse, and the Helen McHugh Studio. I said, oh yes, yes, I\'ll go. She said, I think I\'ll go with you. No, I said, don\'t. They don\'t have any women there. I mean, let me sample it and see what it\'s all about. So I got into the meeting. So I got into the meeting. I got into this $15 suit. She stuck a buck in my pocket. Now, don\'t drink, Bill. I said, would I drink? That\'s why there\'s more horses\' asses than there are horses. So I said no and I\'ll come right home. So I went down to the meeting. Three flights of stairs in that room. It\'s a parking lot. And I got up those stairs and I\'m fingering this buck, but I\'m not really recovered yet, you know, from my session in the medical center. My guts are raw. And I got up there and I opened the door and there\'s some fellow up there talking behind a lectern just like this one. And he\'s talking about the grace of God. Oh! I said, excuse me. And I tiptoed downstairs, fingering the buck. And as I got downstairs, I\'m so weak from walking up and down, I said, I better get home. So I did. I went right home. Still have the buck. My wife let me in. I kissed her. She says, how was the meeting, Dad? And I said, oh, wonderful, dear. Let me tell you about it. See, on the way home, I cooked up a little story because I knew if I told her the thing was a bust out, it wouldn\'t go over. So I concocted this fanciful tale. I said, yes, the meeting was wonderful, dear. I said, you know, right next to the speaker\'s lectern, they had a little table. She says, what\'s that for? I said, be quiet and I\'ll tell you. I said, now on the table, they had a bowl of cracked ice. And they had a bottle of white rock. And they had a bottle of rye. And some gin, too. She says, what\'s that for? Oh, I said, they just put that there to test you. See, already I\'m talking about the grace of God. I said, what\'s that for? I said, I don\'t know. I\'m trying to figure out how I can drink a little bit without getting caught. She said, you didn\'t drink? Of course not, noble creature that I am. Next Wednesday rolls around and with her chicken soup, I\'m feeling pretty good. She gave me another buck. Now I\'ve got two. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I\'m fully recovered now. right down to Max Longbar. Hello, boys. Bombing. A little Canadian club in plain order. I said, you know, Overholt\'s a little strong for me now. Yeah, he said, I know. We discussed the war in Europe, Hitler\'s invasion of Poland. I settled that in less than ten minutes. And I looked up at the clock and I\'d been gone, oh, I guess almost an hour. I, jeez, I\'ve got to get the hell out of here and get home. So I got back to the apartment and I rapped on the door. She let me in. She says, I smelled booze, Bill. I said, the trouble with you, Wilma, is you don\'t listen to me. Do you remember the little table she set? She says, yes. And I said, I\'ve just been testing, that\'s all. I don\'t have to tell you I slept on the sidewalk that night either, do I? Now, I\'d like to take a little time to tell you a little bit about the romance of recovery in AA. Time passes rapidly, as we all know. The war is on. They were... They wouldn\'t take me. They didn\'t care for me. I was 42 years old and... They could do better than that. But I finally got into the Merchant Marine and I made six trips on this old tub, the old Finland of the IMM, International Mercantile Marine. I made three to Murmansk and three to Vladivostok. We never got off the tub at any one time until we got back to New York. We were like a hobo. And every trip we\'d get a $500 bonus. Oh, I liked that part. Oh, my. And finally the war is over. And I\'d been stumbling around, wondering what the hell was going to become of me. I\'d wormed my way back into the... into the house again. And in telling you about the recovery part of AA, I think it\'s one of the most exciting things that I have to tell you. Because this is a chance to be born again. This is a chance to get well. Well, I\'m lying on the floor, on the floor of our living room rug. And I\'m having a small hemorrhage. I\'m bleeding from the nose and from the mouth and from the eyes. And I said, You know, Ma, I\'d like to try AA again. Oh, she says, You mean that crap with the table? No, I said, But this time I\'ll take you. Well, she says, You\'re in no hurry. Well, she says, You\'re in no condition. I said, Get Dr. Lubin. The romance of recovery in AA. Dr. Lubin. Everybody has a Dr. Lubin in their life. This particular Dr. Lubin is a mealy-mouthed, slimy individual with horrible breath, bad teeth. He just had an onion sandwich. . But for $5, he could perform miracles. And as he\'d been to our apartment several times in the past, he came in and he said, Oh, I see he\'s done it again, huh? All right. You got the five? Nothing happens without the five, you know. And he has a needle. The point on it was like the blunt end of our gavels that we have in our meetings. And he was busted around and he found a little flesh and he shot this thing into me. I flew up off the floor. Oh, thank you, Doctor. My wife unpacked my clothes that were in the closet. They had a lock on the closet because we were in a basement apartment. We were right on the basement floor. And she washed me off and she said, I wouldn\'t attempt to shave you. I had about a month or so of growth of beard. And we went across the street to the drugstore. She put a nickel in the box. She dialed the number. She dialed AA. And this is what happened. AA, Louie speaking. Oh, David. Louie, I said, I\'m BG. Well, he says, isn\'t that dandy? No. He says, are you a married fellow? I said, yes. My wife is right here. He could see through the telephone. She\'s right here. He said, you got a car? I said, good Lord, no. Well, he says, we\'re having a meeting tonight at the old Roseville Athletic Club. Can you come up? Bring your wife with you. Yes. Up we go. We get on the 46 bus and up we went. I\'d been thrown out of there many times. I knew exactly where it was. And we walked up those old 13 steps of a brownstone mausoleum. And standing at the door is a man as big as my friend George here, smoking a pipe. The most rancid, evil-smelling thing I have ever smelled in my entire life. He takes it out and says, . Hiya, boy. My name is Charlie. Yes, Charlie. I want you to meet Joe. Joe was a fellow who came down like our EA pins in some of them. Where? From Jersey. And, uh, Joe says, What\'s your name, boy? I... I\'m Bill Green. He says, That\'s all right. You can tell me your name. I said, That is my name. The ladies of Al-Anon had swept my bride up in their arms and taken her off into a little room to tell her the facts of life. I said, Who is your name? They\'re version, not mine. . Charlie and Joe ushered me into this little office. And here sits a poor, anemic little man. I said, You\'re, you\'re Louis? He says, Yes! I said, By God, you need a drink. Oh, that was, that was the wrong thing to say. Oh, he says, You\'re not funny. You\'re one of these smartasses, aren\'t you, huh? No. No. I said, I\'m sorry, Mr. Louis. I... He said, What do you wear that beard for? Well, I said, I don\'t wear a beard. I just haven\'t been able to shave. I say, He says, Take him in and give him some coffee. In we go to this little house. In we go to this big, long bar there. What\'s his name? Al? Yeah. Sells beer. I figure. I\'m Bill Burr. What\'s he, what\'s he do? Oh, yes. Meet Frank. Hello, Frank. Oh, yeah. You\'ll be all right, Bill. That\'s good. The coffee of those years was gasoline. It is now January the 4th, 1947. Oh, yes. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I\'m sorry. I should probably say that became disraelment long before, not long before, actually. Go back and everything turned yellow. Yeah. Afterig ours, we got to middle of Warburg. Sure... Here it is, the process. It\'s just fine. It\'s been off carbon. Well... Got a real nice cup. He had, uh, he\'s my wife. My wife and you, trient? Up to 90. To dusk. To 12. To 12. OK. Down the Rivera River, there. Mm-hmm. Oh, eh. Well, I don\'t know what he, what he said. I don\'t know what he said about the water, right? sudden the bell rings. I think the joint\'s on fire. I jump up off the seat of my wife. Oh, shut up. A meeting is going to start up there, and you\'re going. Oh, yeah? Joe on one side and Charlie on the other. You know, I thought at the time, the way those guys hung on to me, I must have been the only schnook they had in there in a year. We got upstairs. The ladies sat on one side, the fellows on the other, and I discovered later on the reason they did that was to keep us from killing each other. We sat right down in row A, where Johnny and his lady sat. Charlie\'s there. Old Dad is here. Joe\'s on the other side. I said, Joe, do you have a cigarette? He says, I don\'t smoke. Oh, my God. Six thousand people worldwide in the movement, and I\'m sitting between the only two stiffs that don\'t use cigarettes. The romance of recovery. I said, chill. Relax, kid. They called on the first speaker. This guy talked for an hour. Good thing I was allotted two hours. The next meeting is going to be a little late. He took us all the way back to the Boer War, for God\'s sake. I turned to Joe. I said, will you tell me what in heaven\'s name this has got to do with me? He says, B.G., if you don\'t shut up and sit still, I\'m going to punch you right in the nose. God. I said, what\'s the matter with you? He said, I\'m not going to tell you. He said, I\'m going to tell you. I said, what\'s the matter with you? He said, I\'m not going to tell you. I said, I\'m not going to tell you. I said, I\'m not going to tell you. I said, I\'m not going to tell you. He says, I\'m not going to tell you. I said, I\'m not going to tell you. You didn\'t hear me. You might know me. I\'m in your lane. You haven\'t gotten anything. I said, it\'s over. I said get lost. He says, do it yourself. There was something something wrong with that name piece of paper that thread, the paper I left on the wall here. I was just seasoned. I\'d said, I want this to be published as it is. That incident kgiana I send to plagiarism is ever so dangerous. I was black by having been sleeping under the wanted list over the course of three years. My brother had become terrified of it and he said, well, he comes to Patricius to practice the Orthodox teaching. And he I showed him the original issue of the thought wheel. He followed me into the convalescent room of Walias, and I asked him to tell me what and there on the floor was a big, big cigarette butt. I very casually got my toe out there. I pulled it in with arm\'s reach, and I bent down to pick it up. Charlie stepped on my hand. Because we don\'t do those kind of things in here, Bill. Oh, no. Then they called on the second speaker, a tiny little man who was married to a tiny little girl with three tiny little children. And this guy told the most poignant story I\'ve ever heard in my entire lifetime. It seems it was Thanksgiving as his story goes. Thanksgiving dinner was simmering on the rear of this new range, electric range that he bought for his wife. Three of his cronies went around the front. One of them rang the doorbell. And they ran around the back and took stove, dinner, and all, right out the back door. I like that guy. . . . . . I looked over at my wife and said, I never did anything like that. We never had a stove that was worth a dance. . . . . They passed the basket. I have nothing that remotely resembles money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . then they called on what God sent to be the last speaker, an old and dear friend by the name of Stony. Stony had a penchant for wearing diamonds unlike no other man in this movement, including the late Tom Mahan. . . a diamond horseshoe pin pinned on the front of his shirt, no tie, he had a Ronson cigarette lighter that he kept flipping and it had five one-carat stones embedded in the side. And he was looking right at me. He says, if you\'re sick and don\'t have a job tonight, don\'t you let it bother you. If I\'d have had a gun, I\'d have shot him right between the eyes. The romance of recovery in AA. Finally, the meeting is over. I was in the office. They took me downstairs. I threw up what I thought was five gallons of coffee. Of course, it wasn\'t. Come on back up. I wanted to meet the speaker. It was lovely. Oh, wonderful. Oh, God in heaven, get me out of here. Would you care for a tuna fish sandwich, Mr. Green? A more horrible thought no one could have thought of. Horrible. Tom says, don\'t worry, kid. You get a rope, you put a knot in it and hang on. He went out the door and got in his Cadillac and went that way. Stoney said, boy, you won\'t have any problem. He blew on his four-carat stone. Said, just hang in there. And he went out and got into another Cadillac and went the other way. And Carol Fairbanks says, these are all deceased people of which I speak. Carol Fairbanks says, don\'t let him smoke. Forms gas on his stomach. Will you remember that, Bill? Yeah, I\'ll remember it. I\'d like to punch you in the butt. We went out to the office. I said, don\'t worry, kid. You get a rope, you put a knot in it and hang on. He went out and got on the bus and went the other way. Buy him a book, make him read it tonight. We went back to our little apartment on High Street and I started to take off my jacket. And my lady says, what are you doing? I said, I\'m going to get undressed. You\'re going to do no such thing. You\'re going to do just what the girls told me to have you do. Oh, you\'re going to sit in the chair and read the book. I\'m going to make a nice pot of coffee. The romance of recovery. Monday night, here they come. Tuesday night, here they come. Wednesday, don\'t you fellas have a job? Shut up. Don\'t utter another peep or I\'m going to punch you right in the nose. And Charlie had a hand on him as big as a ham and he could do it too. Ten days passed. I recognized food for the first time for what it really is. See, I was one of those drunks that never ate when I drank. First of all, that cost money and when I was alone I didn\'t have any money. Yes. I\'m thinking about these horrible times and I... I got out into space here and I\'m having a little problem flying back, but I\'ll rejoin you in a minute. Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter Laughter After the ten days and I asked the guy about their working, then I remember, then I remember, then I remember, then I remember, then I remember, then I remember, that we were permitted to go to a meeting unassisted. Oh, what a relief to get away. I said to Charlie, if I ever get a job, I\'ll buy you a pipe. No, you don\'t have to, Bill. Three months passed. Oh, I\'m dry as dust. Laughter And just as useless. Laughter Laughter Laughter The only thing I\'ve done is put my behind on those hard chairs, which in those years were those old slatted collapsible chairs, and it was very, very miserable. So Charlie said to me, Bill, why don\'t you form a group down there in Clinton Hill? God, you\'ve got a big group. Well, in my office you were in it. Laughter So we formed a Clinton Hill group, and at our first meeting, there were seven. Laughter And then two of them went out and got drunk. Laughter And the next meeting, we had two new members, and then four of them went out and got drunk. Laughter And so in my 90-day period, they give us these little pins that I\'m wearing, Not this particular one, because the diamond was put in there after I\'d been in AA some ten years. And these guys said, Bill, would you say a few words? Oh, I had a carefully prepared text in my pocket. Some 2,000 words. And I got up there in front of those 12, 15 people, and I said, I\'m an alcoholic, I said. And I sat down, and the applause was tremendous. I have since found out it\'s because I was so brief. I see by my watch that it won\'t happen to me tonight. So, we formed that little group, and by golly, it grew. And it grew. And it grew. And then we had to split off. And in that time, I had gotten a job working for a guy that had won. He had worked for me. And he gave me an offering that I couldn\'t refuse. And I was enjoying my life. And I was down on Mulberry Street every night after I came from work. You want to go to AA? What\'s that? You want to get off the street? Come on. Yes. I said, I\'m back with my wife. Come home. She\'ll feed you, but you\'ve got to go to an AA meeting with me. Oh, man, was I ever overzealous. Gee. I\'d bring these bums home, and they had to take a bath. And I\'d gotten clothes from the Volunteers of America and the Salvation Army. And. And. Straighten them up. But they only straightened up for that one day, just in order to go to the meeting. No, no. Just in order to get fed and have a place to sleep that night. That was the crux of their desire. All right. So. Out of the first hundred guys I worked with. I had. One recovery. An old Scotsman by the name of Jimmy Frazier. He was 70 years old when he came into AA, and he\'d been on the bum for 10 years. Boxcar Jimmy. A fine old Scotsman. And he lived nine years in AA as a sober, working alcoholic. Which is wonderful. You see, in my recovery, I\'d forgotten about God. I\'d forgotten about the efficacy of prayer. Higher power was something that the other guy worked with. And I want to tell you something. I awoke. This one morning, still in the little basement apartment, after five years in AA, we didn\'t have enough money to do anything with it. Because I\'m so busy bringing drunks home. And I think that my wife was just about at the end of her rope. And I don\'t blame her now. And this morning, I awoke. And our bedroom window looked right out into the street. And you know what I saw that morning? A little three-foot stunted oak, with one branch that protruded at right angles. And on that branch, there was sitting a little bird. One of the tiniest of God\'s feathered creatures. A scythe. A city sparrow. You know what he was doing? He\'s taking a bath. I\'d never seen a bird take a bath before. I\'d spent 25 years in the bottom of a brown bottle. An awareness of God. I too learned to pray. Little prayers at first. Thanks God for a lovely day. My wife went to the priest of our parish. And she said, Father John, I don\'t know what I\'m going to ever do with Bill. She said, He\'s not drinking again, is he? She says, No, but he doesn\'t want to go to the Mass anymore. Well, I don\'t know what to tell you, my child. She says, I\'d like to talk to the bishop. This is John McNulty, who was the dean of Seton Hall College at that time. And his brother was Bishop McNulty. And she got an audience with the bishop. She told him, about my bringing all these drunks home. She said, Eminence, I don\'t know what I\'m going to do with Bill. He\'s driving me crazy. I\'m on my feet 10 hours a day, slinging hash in a dump to provide a place for us to live. Yes, he got a job, all right. But the money he gets, he spends it on these drunks. He bought one guy a car for $600. And where did he go? Off into the wilderness someplace. And it was 30 years later that I saw him in California at the Woodland Hills group. And I said, Ralphie, boy! He looked at me. Bill Green? I, yes. He had a chain of appliance stores. And I reminded him, Oh, no, he says, you don\'t have to remind me. He says, I know about your, you\'re worried about that $600, and I\'ve been meaning to send it to you. The romance of recovery. So we went down to the post office the next day, and he made out a postal money order for $600 and sent it to GSR in New York. And every Christmas I used to get a Christmas card from him. This is back in 1970. So you see, AA does work. The power of prayer is with all of us. You either believe or you don\'t believe. I like to tell the story of the locusts. For those of you that have been to the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City, you\'ll see in a glass case the locusts and the seagulls. Let me tell you a little bit about this story. It seems that they had a terrific famine there, and Brother Smith, who was the head of the Mormons, he told them to pray, Brother, to pray. And the locusts were eating all their crops, and they all prayed. And what do you think happened? 800 miles from their natural habitat, the Pacific Ocean, in came this multitude of seagulls. And they proceeded to devour the locusts and fly back to the sea and disgorge them in the sea. And they continued until all the locusts were gone and the crops were saved. The romance of recovery in AA. Now, you can either believe or you don\'t believe. But in the glass case is one of the locusts and one of the seagulls. And you sign the register to show that you\'ve been there. A wonderful experience, a very moving experience. The efficacy of prayer. And then I got on the Chautauqua circuit. I\'d been sober, oh, I guess, seven, eight years. And they asked me to speak in foreign lands. Canada, Australia, London, Paris. All because of AA. Isn\'t that wonderful? And you folks have asked me to come here tonight and speak to you here. At Christmas time, we used to get hundreds and hundreds of cards. Every Christmas. Some of them from people I didn\'t even know. Wasn\'t that a wonderful thing? Not because of Bill Green, but because of AA. This is the only way that I know of. I\'ve tried everything else. Needles, Lubin\'s potion. The McTaggart system put it in his coffee. He\'ll never know. The hell he won\'t. And then one day, you\'re privileged to tell the story of AA to somebody that needs it very badly. And you bring him to a meeting. And you nurse him along. And you watch him grow big and strong like a green bay tree. You don\'t have to worry about God then. He\'s sitting right in front of your eyes. Try it sometime. Thank you.