Honey, You’re Not Working Those Steps — Those Steps Are Working You – Kathy A.

Thank you very much.
Living it up is bringing us down.
Coffee running round in circles, green upside down.
Hi, everyone. I'm Mary Lourdes, and I'm an alcoholic.
Let's have an AA meeting.
Let's have one.
Welcome to the Monday night Blue Chip Speakers meeting at the NAVA Club.
We're a member of Alcoholics Anonymous,
who's one year more of support,
and a variety tells his or her story.
This reading is based on a passage from page 29 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Each individual in our personal stories describes in their own language
and from their own point of view the way they establish their relationship with God.
These give a fair cross-section of our membership
and a clear-cut idea of what has happened in their lives.
We hope no one will consider these self-reviews,
and that they will not become part of the community.
Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women in our room tonight
and listening later on aabluchipspeakers.org
desperately in need will hear our speaker,
and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems
that any of us shall be persuaded to say,
yes, I am one of them, too.
I must have this thing.
And I get to introduce our speaker,
and our speaker tonight is Kathy.
Kathy Allen from the Shiloh Group.
And I've known Kathy since she came in.
Sponsored her.
Oh, my goodness.
She's a special person.
She's kind, and she's happy, and she loves the world, and she truly loves people.
She truly loves everyone in Alcoholics Anonymous.
She's helped so many people.
She's changed me.
And every time I talk, every time I speak to her, she makes me a little bit better.
You know, I could call Kath and complain it's pouring rain, and Kath will say,
Oh, think how pretty the flowers will be.
And I think, Oh, my goodness.
It's just the way she looks at the world.
She's grateful, and she helps me, and she changes me, and I'm so glad she's in my life.
And here's Kath.
Thank you.
Hi, my name is Kathy, and I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm grateful to be here on a Monday night, even though there's a big football game coming on.
I used to miss a lot of things because of alcohol, and now I'm so grateful to be sober
and to be in the room of Alcoholics Anonymous.
My sobriety date is July 5th, 1994.
I couldn't come in on the 4th of July because I still had to go.
I had to drink, and I had come to a place in my life where I was ready to end it.
I was 41.
Well, actually, let me back up a little bit here.
I'm nervous.
When I have to tell my story, I get nervous because telling the truth about oneself sometimes can bring up,
good and tough things in my life.
And I was born in Chicago, Illinois.
I grew up in Michigan.
My father was on road construction, so we did a lot of moving.
And I had a fun childhood.
My father liked to ski, and we would be in cold weather and snowed out from school.
So I would get to put on.
And we would go cross-country skiing.
And I was pretty much a tomboy and loved to do everything outside.
And, you know, life was good.
And I was probably about in the 4th grade when we quit moving.
And we actually settled down in a little town in Michigan between Lansing and Detroit and Flint and Ann Arbor.
And so I kind of grew up in a little area.
It was kind of farm country.
And I can remember when I was like, I don't know, maybe 11, 12 years old.
And my father liked to drink.
And I would be able to go with him places.
And he didn't want to drink and drive, so I would get to drive.
So that, to me, was like the best.
And he would always say, but don't tell your mom.
And, man, I wouldn't tell my mom because, man, I liked driving.
And, you know, it started out.
So, you know, having a lot of fun with alcohol being around me.
I had a lot of people in my family that drank.
And I had a mom who didn't drink.
And over the years, you know, things were pretty good.
And then they started dropping off a little.
And I didn't see my dad as much.
And I started seeing trouble in the house.
And it wasn't that alcohol was always.
But trouble didn't always come just with drinking.
But any time that drinking was involved, it was a lot worse.
And I guess I was in high school.
And, you know, things were.
I was pretty good at high school.
And I wasn't a drinker early in life.
And then I got into some trouble.
I ended up having to tell my mom some really bad news.
And I remember this was the only time I can remember when I was really young
where I wanted to take my life.
And I had got pregnant.
I was 16 years old.
And I didn't know what I was going to do.
And I just decided that I couldn't tell my parents.
And the guy that I was with.
He decided he was going to come over and tell my parents.
And so he did.
And my mom just said, well, we'll just plan a wedding.
And I was like, well, I don't want to get married.
And my mom was like, oh, yeah, you're getting married.
And so, okay, mom, whatever.
And so, you know, by the time I had my daughter, I was 17.
And they had a wedding.
And, you know, there I was.
I can tell you today I know for a fact that she probably saved me from myself for a lot of years.
Thank God I had her.
And at the time I thought that was the end of the world.
So that was one time when I thought my life was over.
And then, I don't know, I started drinking once in a while.
The very first time that I drank, it was before I got married.
It was, um, I drank Southern Comfort.
And I didn't just have a drink of Southern Comfort.
I had a pint.
I passed out.
My sister pushed me in the upper bunk.
I was sick.
Oh, I was so sick.
And I said, oh, I'm never touching that again.
That was bad.
And I really believed that.
And I didn't for a long time.
It took quite a while before I had anything.
I didn't have anything more to drink.
But I started drinking usually with my sisters.
And we would go places.
And I didn't get in trouble every time I drank.
But there were a lot of times when I drank I got into a lot of trouble.
And I kept thinking, okay, this isn't helping the cause any here.
And I can remember saying, I just don't need to be drinking.
Because I felt so sick all the time.
And so I kind of just not really drank a lot for quite a few years.
And I was probably about, I'd been married about seven years.
And I was starting to struggle with this marriage.
And Shannon was just, you know, a baby.
And I can remember thinking, we need a geographical cure.
Michigan is just hard having both families there.
They're all different.
They're all telling us what to do.
I don't need to be told what to do.
I have this baby.
So I start looking for a job.
And I find a job in Colorado.
And so I decide we're moving to, we both agreed we were going to move to Colorado.
And he didn't have a job and I did.
And so when we got out there, I, you know, worked and he didn't.
And he didn't like it very much.
And he decided.
That Colorado wasn't for him.
And so he decided he was leaving.
And we really were fighting all the time.
It was just not good.
It was like, it wasn't good.
So he left, took everything we had, left, went to Michigan.
And I said, well, fine, I can do this.
And so I kept working.
And I got to where I had two jobs sometimes.
And I started working for.
This, this company, I was taking night classes.
And this company was helping me go through these night classes.
And I was learning how to do computer graphics.
Actually, it was compute, just doing drafting on the table.
I got into the computers after I got the degree.
And so I was kind of changing professions.
And I got this new job.
And I.
I was in this office and I met this person and he seemed like a lot of fun.
And, you know, my marriage didn't work so good.
The divorce was terrible.
You know, working two jobs was, I was getting tired of it.
And I thought, you know, if, if this works out and I don't have to work two jobs and, you know, have a nice guy in my life, this could be good.
And so we end up getting married.
I think I was like two or three years there.
And we get married.
He had a son.
I had a daughter.
And I thought, wow, this is perfect.
He was a year, 18 months older than my daughter.
So they had a sibling.
And so, you know, I thought, well, this first marriage didn't work.
I wasn't drinking.
Maybe this marriage I should drink.
He likes to drink.
Maybe this would be better.
So, of course.
You know, my thinking wasn't too good.
It just kept getting worse.
And, you know, I started having a lot of fun with alcohol.
And we would, we started playing softball.
And we traveled.
And it was very competitive.
And I thought, well, if I drink, it'll take my nerves, you know, relax me.
I'll hit better.
Of course, I did because I probably couldn't hardly see the ball.
And I hit it better.
And it just, you know, I really had good times.
And I thought, well, this is okay.
Well, it just kept getting more and more.
You know, like it started out maybe one or two nights a week.
And then it started out getting to be four nights a week.
And then maybe five nights.
And it didn't take long.
And it was every night.
And I remember thinking, you know, I can handle.
And I can remember going to this party.
And this was where it started tumbling off.
And my husband went to introduce me.
And I was over on the other side of the room.
I had a dress on.
I should have been looking like a lady.
I was on the floor with my hands and feet up in the air playing dead bug.
I didn't want to buy the round of drinks.
And it wasn't quite the lady thing to do.
And it just kept getting, I just kept having more and more episodes of not being quite the lady I thought I should be.
And the drinking kept getting worse.
And then it got to where it was out of hand.
And I started saying things.
And I started.
You know, I'd say to my husband, well, maybe I might be having a drinking problem.
I don't know.
But it seems like once I start, I just can't stop.
And I'd feel terrible the next day.
And he'd say, well, let's just go to the bar and talk about this.
And I would just totally forget about it.
We'd go to the bar and I'd start drinking.
And it got to the point.
It got to the point where he was going to have a job transfer.
And at the time, I started seeing a counselor.
I started asking for help because I knew things weren't right.
And I remember he got this job transfer and we're going to go to Georgia.
He said, if we go to Georgia, I promise you I'll get you a swimming pool.
We can move to Georgia.
You can have a swimming pool.
You can, you know, enjoy nice weather.
And I'm thinking, oh, I don't want to leave Colorado.
My daughter by then is in college.
And then I thought about it and I thought, yeah, that might be, that maybe if I move
and I get away from all my friends that I drink with and all this other stuff,
maybe I'll behave myself.
So we come to Georgia and, oh, my gosh, the geographical here never works.
I got to Georgia and it started getting worse.
And it got.
It got so bad that I started getting very depressed.
And one day I got to the point again where I wanted to take my life.
And I remember, you know, talking to a few people about it.
But every time I would say something, I would talk to the bartender usually.
And he would say, well, just start putting a drink between those, a glass of water between those drinks.
I bet that'll help.
Well, I tried that.
Well, no, that didn't help.
And, you know, when you're talking to the bartender about drinking too much, you might be drinking too much.
And but I didn't think I was drinking too much because I'd look around and I'd watch everybody else.
And they didn't drink as much as I didn't drink as much as they did.
So, of course, I'm not an alcoholic.
I had family members through all these years that kept getting worse.
And I had.
An aunt that showed me exactly what alcohol can do to you.
She and her husband got into an alcoholic fight one night and he killed her.
And we had to go.
My mom had to go to the funeral.
It was her older sister.
And that was devastating.
And I thought, man, I'm never going to be like that.
And I remember my dad drinking.
Wait, he got to where he started drinking too much.
And I said, well, I'm not going to be like my dad.
And I turned up just.
Like my dad.
And then I looked back and I thought that like that same aunt that died from getting beaten to death drinking.
Her daughter was like five years old and she was coming out of a bar and she ran across the street and was killed by a car.
And she was five years old and it just about killed her.
And her alcohol just, you know, kept getting worse.
So.
I've seen these people in my family that had major things happen because of alcohol.
And I just wasn't going to go there.
And yet there I was.
And I can remember after I moved here, I was always outside doing exercise.
I would run.
I would.
Well, not run.
I would rollerblade.
I would ride a bike.
I would swim.
I would do all these things to make myself feel better.
And I was going down the street one day.
And I had.
Headphones on.
And I hear an advertisement and it says, are you tired of the way your life is?
Do you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
If you think you do, why don't you call this number?
And I thought, oh, I've got to get that number.
And every time I'd hear it, I would never have a pencil with me.
And so I kept thinking, okay, I'm going to listen for that number.
And then I remember right after that, not too long after that.
I was on this golf course.
And I was on this number 16 and it overlooked this beautiful fairway.
And I remember saying, I've got to do something about my drinking.
And I looked at my husband and just said to him, you know your friend that's drinking too much and that he's having all these issues?
I think I'm having the exact same issues as he is.
And I think I'm drinking too much.
And he looked at me and he said, okay, we'll talk about this later.
And, of course, I ended up back in the bar drinking and forgetting about the talk.
And so then about, I don't know, a few months go by and I got, it got really bad.
He was out on a business trip and I got in my car and I decided I was going to drive myself into an embankment.
I was going to take my life.
And I was over by Cobb County.
I was, I can't tell you the name of it, by where the new baseball field is across the street.
I was in that shopping center and I drove underneath the parking garage.
And I was going to drive into this cement thing.
And I thought about that and I thought, shoot, what if my daughter has to take care of me?
She'll, this would not be good.
And my daughter was in college for child psychology and she was better at life than I was.
And I, that, that next day I just went home and I decided I was not getting out of bed.
I pulled the covers over my head and I said, I'm done.
And my daughter calls me up and it's 12 o'clock and I'm never a late sleeper.
And she says, mom, why are you in bed?
And I said, I'm done.
And she goes, what are you done with?
And I said, life.
She goes, what do you mean done with life?
And I said, Shannon, I'm depressed.
I've been drinking too much.
I'm a basket kid.
And I'm done.
And she goes, mom, you have got to call a counselor.
Here she is in college for a child psychology major.
And she's telling her mom what a mess she is and she needs help.
Thank God she did that.
And so she says, mom, I'm calling you every 10 minutes until you get somebody on the phone and you make an appointment.
And she would do that.
She's that kind of kid.
So I call this lady up and, you know,
I'd go in there and she says, okay, what do you think is the problem?
And I said, well, I'm drinking too much and I just want to kill myself.
And she said, well, do you think you know why you feel this way?
And I said, well, I can't keep my story straight.
And she said, well, have you ever thought of telling the truth?
And I was like, well, no, I can't tell people what I'm doing.
And at this time.
I had, by this point, I had gone back to school.
I decided to change professions.
I was teaching computer graphics and I went into hair.
And I went to hair school and now I'm working in this salon.
And, you know, this counselor said that I needed to do this 10-week course.
And she said, are you okay with not drinking for 10 weeks?
And I said, oh, yeah, I don't drink that much.
I could do that.
And she said, and also I want you to go to a 12-step program.
And then you have to meet three nights a week and you have to talk to another person every day.
And I thought, wow, this is a lot of work.
And I said, for 10 weeks I can do this.
And so she said, I told her my husband drank too much.
He drinks way more than I do.
She said, well, maybe you should go to Al-Anon.
And I said, okay, whatever that is.
And I had no idea what it was.
And so I went to my first meeting.
And in that meeting they were talking about the alcoholic.
And they were talking about the alcoholic being a sick person.
And I never thought of it like that before.
And I thought, okay, maybe he is sick.
And I'm thinking my husband.
And then they started talking about what happened with these people that were drinking.
And I thought, okay, maybe he is drinking too much.
And a lot of what was happening were things that I had did.
And I thought, shoot, they're reading my inventory.
And at the end of the meeting these people all prayed.
And this lady came up to me and gave me her phone number and said, call me.
You know, welcome to the area.
And I left there kind of quickly.
I didn't feel comfortable.
I guess I, you know, I thought, well, I'm going to go to Al-Anon.
I thought, well, I'm going to go to Al-Anon.
I thought, well, I'm going to go to Al-Anon.
I thought, well, I'm going to go to Al-Anon.
I thought what they were talking about me.
And so I left there and I started getting really shaky.
And I remember getting back in my car and my counselor said, if you get into trouble, please just call me and we'll hook you up with somebody.
And so later that afternoon, man, my hands started shaking more and more.
And I thought, maybe I need a glass of wine.
I'm not a wine drinker.
Maybe that will calm my nerves.
I heard.
Wine will calm your nerves.
So I called my counselor and I said, look, I'm struggling here.
And she said, well, what's wrong?
And I said, I'm very nervous.
My hands are shaking.
And she said, I said, I feel like I need a glass of wine.
I'm not a wine drinker.
Do you think it'd be okay if I had a glass of wine?
And she said, oh, no, no alcohol.
She said, why don't I, why don't you go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting?
They'll help you not drink.
And I said, okay.
And, you know, I.
I didn't think I was an alcoholic, but I'll just do whatever they suggest.
And first time in my life, I'm taking whatever anybody's said and I'm grabbing onto it.
And she said, you go down Piedmont, you go to Tower Liquors, hang a left.
I knew right where Tower Liquors was.
And I turned left and I went back there and there was this old house.
And I did not look good.
I was shaking like a leaf.
I felt like I was death warmed over.
I went in this, this house and there were several people in there and I sat in the back of the room.
I was crying my eyes out.
All of a sudden it hit me, what the heck am I doing?
I'm ending up in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and, you know, I looked around and I thought someone's going to recognize me like I was somebody and there is nobody going to recognize me.
And, you know, I just sat there and cried.
And when they asked if this is your first meeting, have you ever been to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I did not raise my hand.
I just sat there and cried and at the end of the meeting, and I'll never forget this, there was like an AA angel in that room and she sat next to me and she put her arm on my shoulder and she said, honey, do you want to not drink?
And I said, I can't drink.
I can't drink for 10 weeks.
And, you know, I'm thinking.
I can't drink for 10 weeks.
And little did I know, I was starting a day at a time of not drinking.
And she, when they went, they asked if you want a white chip.
Just don't want to drink for 24 hours.
We offer you this white chip.
And she said, just raise your hand.
You want that.
You don't want to drink today, right?
And I said, no, I don't.
So I raised my hand.
I didn't know they were going to make me get up in front of that room.
And I don't even know how I got up.
And when I got to the front of that room, I was just shaking and I just, I was a mess.
And they handed me that white chip and that guy hugged me, this big bear hug.
And that scared me to death.
And I got back to the seat and I just sat there.
And that lady wrote her name and her phone number on a piece of paper.
And she said, honey, if you feel like drinking, call me first.
Just call me.
I promise.
I just want to talk to you about it.
And I took that number and I thought, wow, I've never had someone tell me that before.
I put it in my pocket.
I couldn't wait to get in the car.
And I got in the car and I called my counselor back.
And I said, you know what?
I think I might have to go to another one.
I don't know if I'm not going to drink tonight.
She said, that's good.
And she told me where I could go to this next one.
And when I got to that one, you know,
they were just so worried.
They were just so wonderful in that meeting.
And the more, you know, I would listen to what they said,
I'd hear things like, you know, listen for the similarities, not the differences.
And if you spent hours in a bar drinking,
you might want to spend hours in an AA meeting to pass the time.
And they said things that just helped me.
You know, I would read the meeting.
And somebody usually in the room, I would sit in the chair and cry.
The whole hour.
And someone would always come up to me and tell me where the next meeting was.
They knew where I was.
I didn't know where I was.
And it was in Alcoholics Anonymous that I learned who and what I was.
And, you know, I was very fortunate.
I was 30 days sober.
And I was losing my mind.
They said, don't make any major changes.
I was going through a divorce.
I had a new business.
And I just couldn't drink for 10 weeks.
And.
I decided I needed a break.
I was losing it.
And so I decided I was going to go to the beach.
And I got in my car and I drove to the beach.
And I got there and I thought, holy, oh, no, what am I going to do?
I can't drink.
At the beach, I drank.
And I remember in a meeting, someone said, whenever you need help, just go to a meeting.
Look in the phone book and find a meeting.
So I looked in the phone book.
I looked under Alcoholics Anonymous.
And called someone.
And they sent me to this meeting.
And I had stayed up late.
I was a basket case.
I went into this meeting looking like crap.
And I get to it and it's in a bar.
And I'm thinking, oh, my God, I could smell the booze.
And I'm thinking, oh, no, how am I going to do this?
And I got in that meeting.
And thank God it was 30 days that I had been sober.
I was afraid to ask anybody what to do.
I would just sit in the meeting and cry.
And when I got there, for some reason, all those strangers that I didn't know,
I felt like I was okay.
And this lady came up after.
Of course, they knew I was brand new sober.
I sat in the chair and cried the whole hour.
And I picked up a 30-day chip.
And this lady said, let's go to Waffle House.
Come.
We're going to have breakfast.
You'll feel better.
And I would just like to share with you what happened to me.
And.
I got in this Waffle House.
And I, you know, the ladies, they all started sharing stories.
And I could relate.
I thought, wow, this isn't so bad being an alcoholic.
I thought I was the only one that did these things.
And, you know, that lady, I said to her, well, do you.
She looked at me and she said, do you want what I have?
And I said, absolutely.
You guys look happy and peaceful.
They look so peaceful.
I thought, oh, my gosh.
I just, I would love that.
And she said, well, if you do what I did, you can have what I have.
And I said, oh, good.
Are you going to give me directions?
Nobody has given me directions.
And she said, well, this is what I did.
And she said that first thing in the morning, she got on her knees and she asked God to take the compulsion of alcohol away.
And she said the second thing she did was go to an AA meeting.
And the third thing she would do is talk to another alcoholic.
And the fourth thing she would do.
And she had this Alcoholics Anonymous book.
She called it a big book.
And I couldn't find the big book.
It was called Alcoholics Anonymous.
And she said, read five to seven pages of that before you go to sleep at night.
And she said, it will probably help you sleep.
And it did.
It put me right to sleep.
And she said, then the last thing is to thank God at night for keeping you sober.
And so I had that all written on my piece of paper.
Man, I'm going to go back.
I'm going to go back to Atlanta.
I'm excited.
And they said, you need a sponsor.
And I said, well, what's a sponsor?
You know, they gave me all this.
Everything they told me had a name with an abbreviation to it.
And a sponsor was a sober person offering newcomer suggestions on recovery.
And I needed that.
And so when I got back to Atlanta, they were going to call me until I got a sponsor.
And, you know, I.
I used to see this lady and she drove this red convertible and she'd come to these AA meetings
and she would be radio loud, top down, happy and just the most beautiful face.
And I wanted what she had.
So I decided I was going to ask her.
And, you know, she got me in the big book.
She had me meet her every Wednesday and we sat at this table and she made me read to her.
I thought she couldn't read.
And little did I know she was.
You know, getting me in the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And, you know, we.
You know, I would be so excited.
I'd be in a meeting and one of the old timers, I said, yeah, I'm so excited.
I'm doing the deal.
I'm working the steps and I'm on the fourth step.
I'm really working hard.
And he goes, honey, you're not working those steps.
Those steps are working you.
And boy, was he right.
Those steps were working me.
And, you know,
I got to about the ninth step and I was, you know, pretty newly sober in my first year.
And I remember my sponsor saying, well, you need to find somebody to finish.
You know, you need to find somebody else to pick up for me because I'm at the ninth step and I can't take you any further.
So I thought she was telling me to go find a new sponsor.
So I had seen Mary Lourdes in meetings and she was always.
Sitting there next to me and she always had these good things to say.
And I loved when she would say the only meeting you were late for was your first.
And I thought, wow, that's got a lot of merit.
And, you know, she was so down to earth.
And so I said, you know, I asked her if she would take me through the rest of the steps.
And she gladly did.
And, you know, what a gift that was.
And, you know, it's been quite a ride.
And I.
I know my daughter is married and she has two kids.
And I got a sober person in my life as a partner.
And, you know, he's been sober longer than me.
And it's pretty darn good.
You know, those steps worked me.
And, you know, I found a God of my understanding through working the steps.
And I always, you know, when I was getting sober, when I look back on it,
now I realize that God brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous.
But Alcoholics Anonymous brought me to God.
I grew up in church and God was at church.
You know, it was in Alcoholics Anonymous that I was told when I had to go do something that was really scary to do.
You know, bring God with you.
God will go right in front of you.
And I love that.
And, you know, they just I just learned so much in these rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And the best part is I get to be a sober grandma.
I got to see both my grandkids born.
I got to be in the room with the first one.
The second one came way early and I got to take the second one.
And my daughter called me.
One thing good about being in Alcoholics Anonymous is I am responsible.
And I got a phone call from my daughter and she was at Disney.
And she went into labor early.
And they.
The ambulance took her to the hospital.
And one thing about doing hair.
My clients are very understanding.
And I called them all and said, sorry, I got to go.
My daughter's in the hospital.
I was on a plane the next day and she was in the hospital a month.
And I got to be with my grandchild and do the deal.
And, you know, we would go out on the beach and we would be in the stroller.
I would be pushing them.
And I'd see these people on.
The beach and they'd be praying and I would be like, wow, Alcoholics Anonymous on the beach.
Everywhere I go, Alcoholics Anonymous is there.
And I got a phone call once right before Christmas.
And this was a really tough time in my life.
And I have five siblings and my one of my.
My godson's we've been in Idaho and.
Sweetheart.
And he was 19 years old.
He had a baseball scholarship.
He was working for a farmer during Christmas.
He wanted to buy his mom a special present.
And he was driving a manure truck in the manure truck.
Spragues went out and he went over the cliff into the snake.
The room was killed.
They.
And alcoholics and I was told me that if I put my sobriety first, my family second in my job, third, everything would work out.
Well, I got on an airplane the next day, did the funeral, and I stayed with my sister for a month in December because she had a tough time and, you know, losing, losing him was very difficult.
And I stayed with my sister for a month in December because she had a tough time and, you know, losing, losing him was very difficult.
And I stayed with my sister for a month in December because she had a tough time and, you know, losing him was very difficult.
And every year we send balloons to heaven for his birthday.
And we have a special boy up in heaven looking over our family.
And that was due to Alcoholics Anonymous.
You know, I went out there and I just asked God to put the right things in place, and he did.
And then I came home and.
I can remember being at a meeting one day.
And I'm backing up a little bit because I always see that God does for me what I can't do for myself.
And this one day I remember leaving 8111, and it was a beautiful day.
Everything in life was great at that time.
I was learning to deal with not taking a drink of alcohol a day at a time.
And for some reason, I was going to walk into this mini-mart,
and there was a beer thing in front of the cashier, and I wasn't a beer drinker.
I liked whiskey.
And for some reason, I walked right up to that beer container, and that beer looked good.
And I felt like I was going to pick up that beer.
And this lady came up from behind me, and she tapped me on the shoulder, and she goes,
Oh, I didn't give you a hug at the meeting.
I just saw her in the meeting.
And, you know, she gave me this hug, and I forgot that beer container.
And, you know, that night I thanked God for keeping me sober.
And, you know, when I keep doing that, it keeps working.
I have had so many good people in my life.
You know, when I came in here, I didn't hardly have any female friends left in my life,
and I didn't have many male friends left in my life.
But getting sober, you get a network of ladies.
That is incredible.
You know, they told me early on, the women stick with the women, and the men stick with the men.
And that was very good advice.
And the women in AA taught me how to live life again, a day at a time,
without finding it necessary to pick up a drink.
And it still works.
You know, I look back, and, you know, it's been 25 years,
and it has flown some.
Years were not very good.
There were a lot of tough times, and there were a lot of great times.
But it's amazing if I don't pick up that drink, I stand a chance, you know.
I'm a drink away from a drunk, a thought away from that drink,
and a prayer away from the thought.
It's pretty bad.
I've been around so long, I forget everything.
I have a lot of CRS.
But it's unbelievable, through God's grace,
and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I'm sober today.
And I thank you all for being here.
And I'm really, I want to welcome you as a newcomer.
I hope you come back tomorrow.
Thanks for letting me share.
Thanks, Kath.
I love you, Kath.
And I also want to welcome.
And I hope you have a new guy.
Please come back.
You know I'm not the Pollyanna type.
And I remember people say it gets better beyond your wildest dreams.
And I'm just here to tell you that's the truth.
Living it up
Is bringing us down
Coffee running round in circles
Drinking upside down
Falling off the edge
It don't sound like fun
We gotta stop fighting everything
Everyone
Ought to learn a lesson
Breaking all the rules
Trial and concession
The guilty love to experience
Sleep away the day
Hiding from the sun
We gotta stop fighting everything
Everyone
Better walk on eggshells
To step on broken hearts
No more useless fighting
It's tearing us apart
At the end of our rope
It's tearing us apart
At the end of our rope
It's tearing us apart
We're nowhere to run
We gotta stop fighting everything
Everyone
We gotta stop fighting everything
Everyone
We gotta stop fighting everything
Everyone
We gotta stop fighting everything
Whatever was our enemy
We gotta stop fighting them
Who ever we were
We can't change them
Bigskill us
We gotta stop fighting
And we gotta stop fighting
Doesn't matter what the people say
The night is on
We got a chance to challenge
We gotta get out of the cold
We gotta go full and up
say
Say
Take a step further
We're allowing ourselves
To take this and that
And make our way
Through every killing
All in on each other's cause
We gotta stop fighting all of this
It takes an eight to push us off the black horse
It take a eight to push us off the black horse
Thank you.
Thank you.