Higher Power Kept Me Sober Until I Started Keeping the Credit Myself – Tim R.
About This Speaker Tape
Tim R., sober since April 30, 2007, tells a long-memory story that starts before he was born — Air Force captain father killed in Tokyo when Tim was six, a little sister age three, a six-year-old being told at a 21-gun salute funeral to be the man of the house. What follows is a kid carrying the weight of the world: cellulitis in his left knee at eight, a hospital room where he watched the boy next to him lose his foot, then his leg, then his life. Tim stole his first cigarette from his mother at eight and was up to a pack a day by fifth grade. By high school he was flipping ounces of pot to fund the habit, and by UGA he had discovered amphetamines and mixing drinks while studying so he could keep drinking during tests.
The career middle is a computer startup that grew to thirty-six stores and $165 million before an IBM audit snatched their distributor ticket and the whole thing imploded. Tim rode the bankruptcy down for seven years. He flew to a Halliburton project with a water bottle full of vodka, ordered a real bottle of water from the flight attendant, and mixed water into water over ice while the stranger next to him watched. A Fulton County DUI judge threw the book at him — thirty days, license gone, court-ordered psychologist three times a week at sixty-five dollars a session. Tim sold the psychologist a computer at cost and, as the first invoice generated, made him print and sign a letter declaring 'Tim R. is cured of alcoholism.' The probation officer called the doctor, who confirmed it. Tim drank for twenty more years.
The turn came when his diabetic mother told him, crying, that he had been too drunk the night before to help her. Tim got on his knees and asked a Higher Power for the strength not to drink. The craving lifted. Then he started looking in the mirror and taking the credit himself — willpower, he called it — and prayed no more. A year in, at a friend's funeral, another drinking buddy looked at him in disbelief when Tim said he had done it without AA, without a Higher Power, on willpower alone: 'Well, you must be one of those AA miracles I hear about.' Tim's mother had a stroke, broke her hip, got thrown out of six nursing homes because of him. He relapsed three months hard. His sister took him to his first meeting.
That first meeting was David C., sponsored by Bill Sanders, telling his own story — and Tim heard himself in it. He called Bill, who answered the machine with 'have a great day, unless you have other plans,' and called him back in three minutes and talked to him for two hours. Tim closes with Larry Scott's old-timer's prayer — asking for wings to get to the point, the grace to listen to newcomers, the freedom of promptly admitting when he is wrong, and the willingness to be a worker among workers instead of a bleeding deacon.
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Full Transcript
Well, we're here for a treat tonight.
I think Gus has asked, has invited our speaker.
You know, I was sitting here thinking that, I believe both of these guys,
if I stand with him, they both have something really in common.
And you just...
I think Gus has asked, has invited our speaker.
You know, I was sitting here thinking that, I believe both of these guys,
if I stand with him, they both have something really in common.
And you just...
Well, we're here for a treat tonight.
I think Gus has asked, has invited our speaker.
You know, I was sitting here thinking that, I believe both of these guys,
if I stand with him, they both have something really in common.
And you just wouldn't know it.
And what you do, they're both fantastic digital artists.
I'm not sure who's the best.
I don't know what's going on on Friday afternoon.
Just to be real busy.
But anyway, I've known Tim for quite some time.
I really have.
And, you know, what I do know about Tim is he's very involved in, I call it, synonymous.
He's really involved at NAVA.
And he helps a lot of people.
And it's constantly working.
And there's a story behind him and Gus, too.
But I'm going to have Tim come up and share his experience with us.
Thank you.
Lots of folks.
Yeah.
Happy birthday to Bill and Gus.
I have the privilege of Gus keeping me sober for nine months of my sobriety.
He didn't get to his first food trip with me.
It turned out that I had a small problem.
It turned out that I had a small problem.
I had a small part to play in you getting this thing.
And I'm really proud and happy.
The story is he had come back to Athens and picked up his nine-month chip at Biscayne Roof.
And then I didn't hear from him for quite a while.
And then at the speaker meeting at the NAVA club, a stranger came and sat in front.
And at the end of the meeting, he said, Gus is sent.
And he was sent to the Cat County jail.
I was like, oh, okay, well, we'll try to get down there and see him this week.
He said, well, they're not going to let him have any business.
And so I went home and ordered a big book on Amazon and wrote him a little note.
And I didn't hear back for a long time.
And then I came to one of these meetings a few months later, and I ran into Gus.
And he was doing the deal.
He was on the car.
And I asked him if he'd gotten the book.
And he said, you're the one that gave me the book?
I said, yeah.
And...
And...
And...
You know, from what I hear, he took the book.
He didn't have anything else.
But he shared what was in the book with a lot of people in the jail with him.
Started working with others right there on the spot.
So Gus is a miracle.
And I'm proud to be part of his story.
And I appreciate him asking me to tell the story.
Five years ago, I was asked to speak at the Primary Purpose Group.
And he came and picked up his two-year chip that night.
There was another time he had a friend of ours, Tinsley, he told his story.
And it was, I think it was like Thanksgiving night or something.
We'd had our Thanksgiving meals.
And we met up at the Biscayne room.
And Tinsley got to speak.
And I got to introduce Tinsley.
And it was a big night.
It was exciting.
You know, one thing I did suggest, and it didn't, when Gus first came to Athens, was to look up Randy P.
I said, if you hook up with Randy and his crowd, you'll be all right.
But after DeKalb County Jail, you did get together with Randy and everything worked out good.
So anyway, my name is Tim, and I'm not hollering.
And I got sober April 30, 2007.
So I got sober when I was two.
And if I make 42 years, that will be a miracle.
Thank you.
My main home group is the Monday night group speakers meeting.
And that's where I picked up my white chip.
And that's part of my story the way it went on.
But I met my sponsor that night.
His name is Tim Morgan.
Tim has also worked on the pitches group before me at the Rock.
And he's spoken at the Rock.
It's a 12-step workshop.
And his sponsor is a gentleman by the name of Kenny.
Kenny H.
Or Horvat.
He doesn't mind me using his last name.
And he goes to the 6.15 a.m. daily meeting at 8111 in Roswell, Georgia.
And that's real commitment there.
Every morning, he's there at 6.15.
And that's how it's done.
Morgan's sober.
And he lived all the way on the other side of town.
But he wanted to get sober.
He couldn't get sober.
And he couldn't sleep.
And he'd drive and drive and drive all the way up to 8111.
He'd get there at daybreak.
And I ran into Kenny.
And Kenny told him,
You just don't have to feel like this ever again.
You got a chance here.
And they sat and talked.
And anyway, Tim's now been sober for...
He's about to celebrate his 19th year.
So, he's doing the deal.
And Kenny's sponsor was a guy named Papa Bill.
You know, a lot of folks may know Papa Bill.
Papa Bill didn't get sober until he was 60.
But he...
He did get over 30 years.
I think he passed away about four or five years ago.
We really miss Papa Bill.
He helped a lot of people get sober.
And he was very good about working in the Dallin Mountains.
So, he had a big effect on my life.
One of the things with the Blue Chip Speaker Meeting,
we started recording our speakers.
And so, we set up a website.
And right now, we have over 600 recording speakers.
I'd like to say they're priceless, but really, they're free.
Just, you can download them.
And the name of the website is aabluechipspeakers.org.
So, please come and log in.
And you'll see Gus.
He came and told his story right after we had our little reunion.
Yeah.
That was a big honor.
Yeah.
To have Gus there.
We've had Randy.
We've had Randall B.
A bunch of folks from Athens.
We'd love to get some more of you out there.
Thanks.
So, I'm going to pause for a second and say a little prayer.
The me version of the serenity prayer.
It says, God, grant me serenity.
To accept the people I cannot change.
Encourage to change the one I can.
And the wisdom to know that one is me.
Amen.
I'm going to go back and start because so long ago, my story begins with my parents.
My father was an Air Force captain.
He was a member of the rocket team before the astronaut program.
We were the first family to be shipped into Taegu, Korea after the Korean War.
He was Captain Dave.
And he also was an Auburn Tiger.
And one of Vince Dooley's teammates.
He played tight while my dad was tied in that senior year.
And Vince Dooley was younger.
And he came up and had a good career.
And my dad's last year at Auburn.
He played an undershirt during his first year that he coached.
I mean, I had issues with him.
He was also an Eagle Scout with the merit badges.
I ended up with all his effects.
He was killed when I was six years old.
And we were transferred to Tokyo.
My mother was a widow when she was 30 years old.
And he was from Columbus, Georgia.
My father was from Jackson, Mississippi.
My grandparents in Mississippi.
My grandfather was General Secretary of the Methodist Church for 30 years in Mississippi.
They were good folks.
They were good church-going folks.
My mother's father was named Pat Patterson.
And he was from Columbus, Georgia.
There was another Pat Patterson that was in Phoenix City across the river.
And he didn't turn out so good.
He ran into the criminal element.
The Secretary of State of Alabama tried to clean up Phoenix City.
He was basically assassinated.
My grandfather was told never to cross the river again.
So if he wanted to go anywhere west, he had to go around Phoenix City.
So I had two exact opposites as far as grandparents went.
Like I said, I lost my dad when I was six years old.
And we came back to Vicksburg Cemetery.
My dad's little brother was 14 at the time.
And he put his arm around me after the 21-gun salute.
And he told me I needed to be the man of the house and take care of my mother and my little sister.
And my little sister was three years old.
And I was six years old.
And it seemed like...
I said I would.
But it seemed like I was carrying the whole weight of the world on my shoulders.
And we ended up moving back to Columbia, Georgia.
And I got an infection of something called cellulitis in my joint of my left knee.
It started out more like a mosquito bug.
And then it started swelling.
And I went to the doctor.
And they had to drain it.
And then they put me in the hospital.
And they were giving me all these antibiotics.
And nothing was helping.
And it was getting worse and worse.
And they put me in a room with this guy who was about two years older than me.
And he had a problem with his left leg.
His got really bad.
And they amputated his left foot.
And I started getting worse.
And then they had to amputate him to his knee.
And so they were just cutting up his body.
And I wasn't getting any better.
I was terrified.
I had just lost my dad.
And then I didn't know what was going on with my body.
I watched this poor boy die.
I guess I...
At eight years old, I was praying.
But I got over it somehow.
Got out of the hospital.
And I was damn glad to do it.
Once I got home, I'm like eight years old.
And I'm the man of the house.
And I'm taking care of my family.
And my mother started smoking.
And I snuck a cigarette.
I guess I'd been out with some friends.
And we smoked rabbit.
We smoked rabbit to die for first.
And then somebody got a cigarette at home.
And we were blowing smoke rings out in the woods.
And then I started stealing cigarettes from my mother when I was eight years old.
By the time I was in fifth grade, I guess I was addicted to a pack of cigarettes a day.
And there's no way a kid that age can have that kind of habit.
Without learning how to lie, cheat, and steal.
A lot of my teachers who didn't smoke, they had to have known I smoked.
But nobody ever really confronted me.
And my mother would smoke this, but she never smelled it.
But I'd do anything to get those cigarettes.
I mean, if I had to steal from you.
If I had to break into your house.
I wouldn't take much more than what I needed.
It would be a lot here and there.
I was a paid thief.
Stuck with me well into my adulthood.
And so, cash register honesty, I wouldn't call it.
I wouldn't say I was that.
Though I had a lot of people believing that I was cash register honest.
Because I was living a global life.
And then I got into high school.
And I started making a little pocket money.
Selling Reaper.
I could buy a bag of pot.
And put a little bag aside for myself.
And then sell the rest of it.
And somehow ended up making part of the cash forever.
But during that time, also actually before all this.
I skipped ahead.
After that funeral.
I went to my grandparents in Jacksonville City.
My granddaddy had built me one of the best tree houses I've ever seen.
I was the oldest grandchild.
And I was going to inaugurate the family tree house.
And it was fantastic.
I mean, this kind of craftsmanship.
But in a tree house.
It was really something.
And I had been watching Gunsmoke on TV.
And we had been in Korea.
And there wasn't TV back then.
So the real novelty would be watching TV.
On Gunsmoke, this guy gets hung.
You know, he goes up in galas.
And it looked so real.
And I'm going, I know these are actors.
And they had to.
They had staged it somehow.
So I went to my grandpa's workshop.
And they had the same kind of rope you'd use for a hangman's noose.
And I tied the knot.
And it looked like a real hangman's noose.
And I said, well, I know what I'm going to do.
And I tied it up on the limb above the tree house.
And I put it up under my arms.
And put my shirt back on top of it.
And had it running all over my neck.
And I'm like.
Seven years old.
And I was going to play a practical joke on my grandmother.
And she came out telling me it was time for lunch.
And I was just hanging around the tree.
And this was right after my daddy died.
And she hit the dirt.
And I realized that I had gone a little too far.
And so she.
She was out cold.
And I got out of that noose.
And I stamped it down the tree.
And I was like.
Grandma.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
And when she saw me.
She tore me up.
I was a loose cannon of a family.
If that makes sense.
And the oldest.
They had a bunch of other great children coming up behind me.
And they were scared.
They were scared to death.
But when I got into high school.
And I was flipping these ounces.
And I was bootlegging.
And there was some kids.
My girlfriend in high school.
Her little brother.
They'd go through their parents dresser drawers.
All his friends.
And they had a tree house.
And I'd meet them at the tree house with their supplies.
The cases of beer.
And whatever else.
Drugs.
And they were 12 years old.
So.
I went on to Georgia.
When I got in the U.
And their standards weren't as high as they are today.
And got up here as a freshman.
And almost flunked out.
And Dean Tate called me into his office.
And he said.
If I get one more D out of you.
You're packed.
And so.
I discovered amphetamines.
And.
I was on an honorable abuse list.
I didn't get my screen.
Somebody told me that if you drink while you're studying.
You've got to continue to drink when you take the test.
If you're going to do well.
And so I took that to heart.
And.
By the time I graduated.
They said.
You want to go to grad school?
I said.
No.
I'm tired.
I'm worn out.
So I feel like I retired from college.
The career was.
I probably had 100 different jobs.
If I list them all out.
Most people.
You know.
A handful of jobs.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You have to go to college.
I mean.
Because.
I had a couple of jobs.
And.
I had to take the books.
A career.
Um.
But I did get into the computer industry.
Somehow.
And.
Started.
Helped start a company.
That.
We were.
Really sitting around a coffee table.
Talking about what is.
And.
You know.
What not.
And.
After a few years.
We had.
We had.
We had 36 stores.
And.
Um.
We have a corporate accounts division.
Our last year in business, we imploded.
We did $165 million.
And it looked like I hit the big time, but it wasn't to be.
We've gotten authorized as an IBM distributor.
We had been a gray market, which meant we kind of went around the – we didn't follow all the rules.
I know we didn't follow the rules, and we were very successful at it for a long time.
But then we signed up with IBM, they wanted us to play well with others.
And we couldn't pass the audits after the first year, and they snatched our ticket.
.
So we had a lot of capital funding, and we had the money reversed.
And I hung on to that company all the way through its federal protection, and it was about seven years.
I mean, it was up and down roller coaster experience.
And I was going to write a book about it, and it came up.
And I hung on to the title.
It was Sex, Drugs, and IBM.
But I never wrote the first page.
Again, I was too lazy to really follow through and get that done.
And one day, maybe, I was going to go back in the woods and see exactly how all this went down.
But –
I kind of castigated through that.
I went through multiple jobs, went through some really fantastic opportunities and some great companies.
At one point, I decided to get out of a sales game and try to project management up,
and so I started off on an IBM project with Liberty Mutual . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . . . another trip to New York.
. . . . . . I was one of them.
. . . . . . and . . . . . I was one of them.
. . . . . and . . . . and . . . . . . . yeah.
. . . . . . . . . I met two people out of my company, I was the one that started off in theünstry business here, I was part of the company owner, we worked in two different entities.
That was a fun day for the project, and we installed nationwide 3,500 devices.
It was highly scheduled and highly structured, and I thought my life was getting manageable again.
But when I would get on the plane, I'd have a water bottle, and it would be full of vodka.
It was 4911, and I'd sit down, and I'd put that water bottle down, and the flight attendant would come up and say,
Can I get you a drink, sir? And I'd say, Yeah, I'd love a bottle of water.
She'd say, Do you have a bottle of water?
I'd say, Yeah, I really love water.
So then she'd bring me a bottle of water, and the poor guy sitting next to me was watching me mix some water and water up over ice.
And I'd say,
Oh, my God.
It wasn't quite so amazing.
And then after that project, they ended up at Halliburton Energy, and I had no idea what Halliburton Energy was until then.
And that was before we got involved in Iraq.
I used to eat at the same cafeteria with Dick Chang and his entourage.
Of course, I didn't sit at his table, but I got a good, big, close look at it.
And I'd say,
Oh, my God.
It's a pretty exciting project.
It was a pretty exciting project.
But I kept drinking and drinking and drinking.
And by the time I was 53 years old, I was experiencing that typical and comprehensible demoralization that a lot of us find.
And that led me to the program.
Now, somewhere in there, I got a DUI that stuck on my record.
I fixed a lot of DUIs.
I couldn't tell you how many I've had.
But this one stuck, and it was in Fulton County.
And there was a judge who was a female judge, and she was a pretty attractive lady.
And she asked me, she was about to sentence me, if I had any vacation time coming.
And I was thinking, well, what do you want to go to Jamaica with her?
I don't know.
So she threw the book at me, took away my license, sentenced me to 30 days in Fulton County.
And sent me to a court-ordered psychologist.
But did not send me that ad.
So I go to the court-ordered psychologist.
And it's $65 a session, and he's got me on his schedule three days a week.
And I'm losing maybe 20 hours a week at work.
And I was like, well, how long is this going to take, Doc?
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And I was like, well, how long is this going to take, Doc?
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And I said, how long?
And he goes, well, I don't know.
He said, see how it goes.
I said, well, what can I do?
And he said, he could go to AA.
Besides that.
So I never really, never gave it a chance.
I was searching out
the perfect woman
and she was going to get me
I was going to get sober
so I'd be good enough
to be with my wife
now she didn't have to be
depending on drinking and driving
and that was a pretty good plan
until it was time
to celebrate
an anniversary
or something like that
a milestone
and then we'd open
a bottle of wine
and she'd have a glass
and that was it
and the next day
she was fine
and I was already thinking
about my next drink
because I'd been
wiping up on it
for like
I don't have any months
and then I got
a taste of that wine
and it wasn't enough
I'd have more
and then she would find out
that my true love
was alcohol
alcohol
alcohol
and that's when
I'd get the big book
for Christmas
for a birthday present
so I had multiple
I had a pretty good library
of A.A.
I hadn't read
I hadn't read any of it
so I seen this
four-word psychologist
and I noticed
all the bills
and I'm writing him a check
and he's writing me
out my receipt
I said
doctor
I'm in the computer business
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate your office
you need to generate invoices
and you put it right into your
accounts payable
and accounts receivable
and general ledger
and I can put all that together
for you
but I can't afford that
and I said
let me bring you a quote
let's see if you can afford
not to do it
so
selling all this stuff
at cost
for a free installation
and he goes
okay I'll do that
and I delivered it
on a day on schedule
and I set it all up
we've done all the configuration
in the house
and I delivered it
and I trained him
and I said
let's do your first invoice
and he goes
great
I said
who are you going to
put it right out to
and he said
how about you
and I said
me
and he goes
yes
Tim Ridgeway
$65
and I said
for what
and he said
for today
I said
I just sold you a computer
at cost
and then I did the installation
and you're going to charge me
$65
and he said
well you haven't won it
did you
and I'm like
no
I didn't
I didn't
so I did it
and I said
we're going to write a letter
and he said
what's it going to say
who's it going to be to
and I said
my brother
and he said
look
what's it going to say
he said
Tim Ridgeway
is cured
of alcoholism
why would I do that
I said
because I'm going to go
to your boss
and tell him
what just happened
and we'll see
if you have this job
next week
and I shut up
and we stared at each other
for about five minutes
and then he finally
said
I printed the entire thing
and he signed it
now neither one of us
must have ever
read the big book
all of us
who've read the book
in the doctor's opinion
knows
there's no cure
for alcoholism
I can tell you
the probation officer
he's read the book
he goes
you're a liar
you're a liar
what the heck is this
and he calls the doctor
and the doctor goes
yeah
yeah
I signed that
yep
I wrote that letter
yep
yeah
Tim's cured of alcoholism
and he goes
there's no way
that I'm just
going to be cured
because I'm the doctor here
and the guy
slams the phone down
and he goes
listen
if I ever see you again
I'm going to go
you better not show up
and you know what
I drank at home
after that
I didn't drink and drive
because I knew
what was in store for me
but I did drink
another 20 years
after that
and I didn't go
to the N.A. again
so
I ended up
taking care of my mom
and
she was a severe diabetic
and one day
she seemed kind of off
and she was crying
and I said
what's wrong
and she goes
last night I needed help
and you were no good
you were drunk
and you couldn't even help me
and
I don't know what to do
but whatever it is
you know
I can't
I can't live like this
and so
I really felt bad
because I knew
what she
what she was doing
and I knew
and I started
to lighten up with it
and what I did
is I got on my knees
and I prayed
for God to give me
the strength
not to drink
that's all I needed
I didn't go to A
and I had the A books
and I did
I was ignorant
I did
I just would not
look at that
but I did know to pray
and I lightened up with it
and after about 30 days
I was able to drink
and I did drink
and I didn't change
the craving
went away
and instead of praying
I started
looking at myself
in the mirror
and talking to myself
and you've got willpower
and I started taking credit
and I didn't pray anymore
and then
a year went by
and Thanksgiving came up
and my family
had noticed
I'd stopped drinking
I didn't declare
I'd stopped drinking
I didn't declare
I'd stopped drinking
and they said
well when did you stop
and I said
I think last Thanksgiving
so that Thanksgiving
they gave me
a one year medallion
from
there was an A.A. coin
I'd never been to an A.A.
before
and I was kind of ashamed
to put the coin
in my pocket
because
an A.A.
should mean something
and I even
I knew that
if not that would
come to an A.A. need
a couple days
later
there was a friend of mine
who was a
business associate
heavy drinker
guy got two DUIs
in one night
lost his license
for ten years
married to a
designated driver
and the week he got
his driver's license
he was back to drop dead
from the drinking
and I went to his
funeral
and I'm standing
next to his casket
and
a buddy of ours
we got to go to his
we used to work with us
and we even had this thing
called beer 30
we'd throw it in five
ten bucks
and they'd go and buy
as much beer
as the one year there was
and bring the beer
back to the office
and we'd be popping beers
before rush hour
and this
I'd always find
a whole beer
on his desk
so he just
opened it
to be part of the crowd
but he didn't drink it much
he's standing next to it
in the casket
and he goes
how are you doing Tim
I said I'm good
how are you
and he goes
I'm good
you sure you ok
I said well
you talking about my drinking
and he goes
well yeah
how's that going
I said well
I haven't had a drink
in 14 months
and he goes
well you must be one of those
AA miracles I hear about
I said mmm
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
that's not my real power
I don't need AA
it might even work without comics
but I don't
he looked at me
with total disbelief
either I was bullshitting him
or I was the stupidest guy
he'd ever seen
clueless
that's the way he looked at me
the car after the funeral
and I said
you've got willpower
a rear view mirror and got thrown home. My mother had a stroke. She broke her hip. She
went to the hospital. Got her in nursing care. I caused so much trouble, they threw her out
of the nursing home. They had to move her down to Emory. And I got her thrown out of
Emory. She was in six nursing homes. Why do you want him? I allowed myself to have a glass
of wine. And that led to another one. And then I hadn't had anything to drink in a while
and I really wanted to get drunk. And then I got drunk and drunk for probably three months
steady. And I'm running out of time now, but
I was running out of time then too. So my sister came by to check on me. She thought
I wasn't drinking anymore because she wanted to get me a chip. I told her I couldn't stop
drinking. I was in need of health and she took me to my first AA meeting. And the guy
who was telling this story was a guy named David C. who's the sponsee of Bill Sanders.
Bill Sanders is a great guy. He was a great guy. He was a good friend of mine. He's an
excellent man. He really was a good person. He really is a good guy. He's a strong man.
And he's standing there, 20 years sober, telling his story, and he looked like a million bucks, and he starts parking his house in Sandy Springs, where his big sister's boyfriend would bring the booze, and he'd love it on Friday nights.
And I realized that I was in the story, and that was my first day in the pickup election.
And he gave me Bill Sanders' phone number, and I, he said, Bill's probably too busy, but he'll give you some advice what to do.
I called Bill, and he said on his answering machine, this is Bill Sanders, leave a message if you want, and have a great day, unless you have other plans.
And I said, well, yeah.
And I thought, I'll never hear from him.
He called me in, what, three minutes, and talked to me for two hours.
He got me started, and he said, he gave me all the right suggestions, he said the right things I needed to hear.
That's really, you know, that's how it all got started.
Like I said, we've got like 600 reporters.
We've got a lot of speakers, much better than mine, that's the story, at aaclubes.speakers.org.
I'm involved in several home groups in Gainesville, the Hawk Club, the Fresh Air Group, and the Freedom Group, and the Gainesville Classic Group at St. Luke's.
I'll finish up with one last prayer, borrowed from Larry Scott's big book,
and this is where I got it.
It's an old-timer's prayer, and I'm not an old-timer yet,
but I do record an old-timer's meeting every year at Havoc,
and so I'm an honorary old-timer.
God, keep me from thinking I'm going to share in every meeting, no matter the topic.
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, and give me wings to get to the point.
Well, I don't know if I succeeded.
Remind me to guard confidences and to keep still when I feel it is necessary to speak up for someone's own good.
Release me from the need to straighten out everybody else's thinking and program.
God, I ask for the grace to listen to new times.
Please help me to remember the patience with which others listened to me when I was new.
Please fill my lips and give me advice, and help me to remember and share only my experience with you.
Amen.
Remind me that my purpose is to fit my skills to be of maximum service to you and to the people around me.
Help me to remain teachable.
Teach me again and again the lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be wrong,
and remind me, please, of the freedom that I gain when I am able to promptly admit I am wrong and make amends when necessary.
Help me to remember the difference between making amends and just saying,
I am wrong.
I am sorry.
Help me to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends.
Please help me from being a bleeding beacon and help me to walk the path towards being an elder statesman slash stateswoman.
Keep me ever mindful that I cannot manage my own life through my own unheated will.
I know that I am not a saint.
Please show me the way to speak to you so that I may continue to grow along in spiritual life.
Remind me, please, of rules.
Remind me that I am not perfect, even though I have humbly asked that my character defects be removed,
and shortcomings still arise unexpectedly to cause damage to others and to myself.
Help me to walk with faith and acceptance to see good things in unexpected places,
and talents in unexpected people.
Give me the grace to tell them so.
Help me to see that you love each of your children and that you do not need my opinion of them or suggestions on what they might deserve.
Thank you much, God.
Amen.
Thank you, Tim.
I'm going to start with a sermon to get somebody to sit around and talk to somebody to give out some reverence to them.
I'm going to draw one of them real out in the hall.
Congratulations, John.
What do you got, Bill?
Thank you, Austin.
I've heard it before.
This man saved my life.
He saved thousands of lives in this town.
I remember back in the day, they had a commencement ceremony down at the hospital.
It was in an old nursing building back there.
He stayed back there.
He stayed there for 40 days and 40 nights.
He didn't get to do a little art, I guess.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
On Sundays, they'd give out these LOAs.
You know, with the expense of the leave of absence.
On Sunday afternoon.
The fellow there wouldn't give me one.
He made me stay the whole time.
Asked me what I wanted. He said,
Oh, you wouldn't come back.
I said, you're right.
I wouldn't have. I guarantee it.
I'm going to tell you, if it wasn't for this man, I wouldn't be standing here in front of you all tonight.
Hey, Gus, what do you say you want me to do?
You show this thing, I'm going to say one for the seven.
We just got here, didn't we?
Time flies, doesn't it? When you have the time.
Anyway,
Well, Ricky?
What are you doing there?
Go ahead.
Well, they brought water on a real alcoholic.
Congratulations, both of you guys.
And this looks like a lot of other people's gunships.
I don't want you to share this.
They say, start or restart, they give you a flight ship.
I say, if you live long enough to get here, you're in it.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
90 days in the field.
That's 90 days, that's not what a judge gives you.
You're going to have to begin that, I think.
Anybody got six months?
Well, I ain't doing no shit, I'm sorry.
You get a nine-month ship, the green one,
and the blue one's for 365 days, sometimes five nights, a blue ship.
And I can't tell y'all, I'm going to do that one ship tonight for a big crowd.
And I can't tell y'all, I'm going to do that one ship tonight for a big crowd.
Why don't you tell me these speakers mean hi, and you don't have to do no shabby.
And I'm not going to start, restart, and take flight ships.
I'm coming by, because she's the most important person in this room tonight.
Mm-hmm.
How many ladies in this room tonight would be willing to talk to her after this meeting and raise your hand?
You're a poor one.
How do you get that drunk?
You talked to her, she raised her hand.
You thought I asked for a white ship.
Anybody got 30 days?
I sent a rope.
Dr. Paul, how do you get a rope inside of a flag, baby?
That's a big old one, isn't it?
Anybody got nine days?
Anybody got six months?
Anybody got three months?
That's a big one.
He's coming back.
Yeah.
That's a large one to get.
Yeah.
So you can get this straight one that's like, I got this color.
Let's check him out.
Anybody got nine months?
You better have a birthday if we don't know nothing about it.
Well, I do know something about it.
Well, I know we got one pleasant thing, if we know that.
I'll bet we do.
Rich horn association.
Hey, boy.
How are you?
How exhibit?
Hey, Roy Brown.
.
What up, how?
This is a financier.
.
When you come out to eat, we'll get you a treat or two.
Isn't that it?
I think I'll just hang out with you guys for a while and I'll introduce you
to some of the people that I'veよろしく that regard.
But, you know, all right.
Here's a little slide-through for you.
So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to hang out with you guys.
I got that.
And he pitched me almost what he did.
We've been friends a long time.
That's the thing about this program.
You know, people have to get honest, and they tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear.
He was very sincere in loving me in his statement, and I took it to heart.
And I figured it was just about time that I got sober.
And I'm really proud.
I'm really proud of Dr. T.
Congratulations on you and Gus.
Congratulations on your trip as well.
You know, Gus came in this program from the first time I saw him.
I knew that you were on fire, and you've remained on fire.
You help a lot of people, and I'm grateful.
Thank you.
I got out for his birthday 42 years ago.
I've been living longer now.
Way longer.
All right, here we go.
A beautiful crowd.
In this group, we always offer this chip flash.
Wow!
You need to take this crowd out of their lives.
Take them to a meeting.
A memory meeting.
Everybody deserves a second chance.
Another reason is tonight might be your last chance to get a chip.
I bet that lady came following.
You might go out tonight and take a drunk.
Eat your gun.
It won't taste good.
Get in your car and go riding around and get one of them DUIs.
I got some of them to sit.
It took my life, but I drove just through without them, and I did what?
.
You might run over somebody tonight and kill them.
You'll be down there on the rest of the road if you're lucky.
Wishing you would overhear too long now.
I really don't want to see that.
So that's a big crowd in here tonight.
I say this a lot.
It's time next year.
It won't be the same crowd.
It'll be a different crowd.
You come in here and plan to go up and run your sheep tonight.
You've just got in your big league.
AA is serious.
Alcohol will kill you.
I'm like Bill now.
I've been around a long time.
It's not been 42 years.
We've both seen a lot of alcohol abuse.
And it ain't crazy.
People killing themselves.
Cracking themselves.
Soap on their own body.
And I really don't want to see nobody do that tonight.
So if anybody wants to be a white kid.
Everybody, that ain't no kid in the world.
Yeah, it's no kid.
I was just gonna say that, to help badly.
This guy is on his phone.
Well, actually, people don't talk.
о
You don't have to go in there.
You gotta be Patrick Swinton.
Dave, you going to tell次
Bailey, nobody's gonna hear you,
never mind my voice,
Mom, you can watch your
Some of them are sober now, some of them are drunk now, some of them are dead, some of
them just didn't even come to AA.
But Thurston did, and he finally grabbed a hold of what this program was all about.
See, we come in here and we think it's about us.
It ain't about us.
The next one coming in the door back down there.
That one that's still out there in the bushes right now, see.
Wonder what I can do.
Both of them are like that old prospector.
We're down at St. Petersburg, we're down at that last hill.
Hmm.
That's what Gus does, he gives it away.
And he's just like me, can't figure out how I keep coming back back to him and give it away.
But, congratulations to the fans.
Big deal.
I don't have to say to y'all what I had to say that other time, so come on and get this shit, man.
I'm Gus, I am an alcoholic.
I'm Gus.
My name is Bruce, Tim, thank you.
Randy, thank you.
And all the gentlemen that have worked with me, thank you.
You know, that's one of the reasons I keep coming, is because you guys paid away for me.
You know, the way to freedom.
You know, and I have to do the same with the new guy that walks in.
You know, and it's been truly an honor.
Bill, you're a huge inspiration.
You know, 42 years, that's as long as I've been alive.
You know, you got sober when I was about maybe five months old.
You know, and hopefully one day I can turn around and have one of these.
And John, thank you.
It's the only place I know where you get trophies.
I wouldn't want, but it's a trophy.
So thank you.
And if you're new, stay.
You know, please.
You know, I'm grateful that I had some good teachers that illustrated the program of action.
You know, and showed me the way out.
And they're not every dead.
So, thank you.
And Bill, let's ask John P.
John, I'm an alcoholic.
Congratulations, young lady with a white chip.
You start the day off.
All the young men here that have gotten seven years or 42 years, they started with their first day.
And that's most important.
And realistically, everybody in this room is working on that.
Everybody in this room is working on this same 24-hour period.
Think about that now.
So, congratulations.
And it's not a trophy.
You earned it.
More than a trophy.
Bill, I don't know what I'd do without you.
You have taught me more in the time I have known you from 80, what was that, 80, 89, when I joined the group.
Something like that.
And 30 years ago, I joined the alumni group.
Anyhow, it doesn't matter.
The original job Bill will not do.
It needs to be done.
Spot on the floor.
And write a big book for a newcomer.
Get up and walk across the room to shake the hand of a strange face.
I wish I did more of that, you know.
And this is why I believe he has done what he has and achieved.
This number.
That's 15,330 days.
That's a lot.
You know.
And yes, I'm older than 42.
No one else here can do that.
I cannot say one iota of red for 42 years.
You know, 42 years ago, I was absolutely beaten.
I had had an arm of the light and it was gone.
My health was gone.
All my limbs were swelled tremendously because I hit every last thing.
Cheating up.
You know, my liver was huge.
My family had to live.
I lost my last dollar.
And I got down on my face and said,
Please God.
Please God.
It wasn't limited to my life.
Please help me.
You know, that was a tremendous spiritual experience.
And I have not
done anything since then
except the grace of God
and the power of God
with myself.
And every single year it can be beautiful.
It's wonderful.
This is a wonderful program.
It's God inspired.
And you just have to live in it.
Just better and better and better.
Thank you all for being here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Alright.
Thank you guys.
That's awesome.
I'm Joseph, and I am an alcoholic.
If you don't have anywhere to spend Thanksgiving,
the Loon Carb Group is having their regular meeting at 12 o'clock.
They're meeting at the 700 Professional Block on August 4th,
and after their 12 o'clock meeting on Thanksgiving Day,
they're going to have Thanksgiving dinner.
The group is furnished in the turkey,
and they're asking if you can bring a side dish.
Just get some dish, and put some food in it,
put a cover on top of it, and bring yourself a dish.
But if you can't, just come in anyway, that's all.
Thanksgiving Day at Loon Carb,
700 Professional Block on August 4th Avenue.
Thank you.
I'm Bill Alcove.
Thanksgiving Day, the 24th Street Club will be open all day.
It will be people in the lounge.
There will be food.
There will be drinks.
Everybody will be welcome.
Everybody who needs to spend Thanksgiving Day at Loon Carb.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm Greg.
You want to take us out?
Sure.
I'm Greg.
I'm an alcoholic.
Greg.
Greg.
Let's just remember the 12th tradition.
It taught us about anonymity.
Please feel free to carry the maskage.
Not the mask of the earth.
And nobody will know that you were here, or that we're here.
And,
nobody,
I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
Congratulations, Doc.
Congratulations, guys.
Um,
Doc was, uh,
He's done for a couple of years the last time.
The dog was born.
Thanks for accepting this deal.
So,
Maybe he's going to raise him up for another one this year.
We'll close with the Lord's Prayer after a moment of silence.
A moment of silence?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Lord's Prayer.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uh,
the former,
watched,
Laurie,
and the corporal,
looked copy.
E Riverいうこと que no era.
Bueno,
whiskey,
mateo,
Uh,
fry.
Ja,
yeah,
yes,
yeah.
I'm sorry.
Gar fuzzy them.
Um,
ah,
don't make me.
Keep coming back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
I think Gus has asked, has invited our speaker.
You know, I was sitting here thinking that, I believe both of these guys,
if I stand with him, they both have something really in common.
And you just wouldn't know it.
And what you do, they're both fantastic digital artists.
I'm not sure who's the best.
I don't know what's going on on Friday afternoon.
Just to be real busy.
But anyway, I've known Tim for quite some time.
I really have.
And, you know, what I do know about Tim is he's very involved in, I call it, synonymous.
He's really involved at NAVA.
And he helps a lot of people.
And it's constantly working.
And there's a story behind him and Gus, too.
But I'm going to have Tim come up and share his experience with us.
Thank you.
Lots of folks.
Yeah.
Happy birthday to Bill and Gus.
I have the privilege of Gus keeping me sober for nine months of my sobriety.
He didn't get to his first food trip with me.
It turned out that I had a small problem.
It turned out that I had a small problem.
I had a small part to play in you getting this thing.
And I'm really proud and happy.
The story is he had come back to Athens and picked up his nine-month chip at Biscayne Roof.
And then I didn't hear from him for quite a while.
And then at the speaker meeting at the NAVA club, a stranger came and sat in front.
And at the end of the meeting, he said, Gus is sent.
And he was sent to the Cat County jail.
I was like, oh, okay, well, we'll try to get down there and see him this week.
He said, well, they're not going to let him have any business.
And so I went home and ordered a big book on Amazon and wrote him a little note.
And I didn't hear back for a long time.
And then I came to one of these meetings a few months later, and I ran into Gus.
And he was doing the deal.
He was on the car.
And I asked him if he'd gotten the book.
And he said, you're the one that gave me the book?
I said, yeah.
And...
And...
And...
You know, from what I hear, he took the book.
He didn't have anything else.
But he shared what was in the book with a lot of people in the jail with him.
Started working with others right there on the spot.
So Gus is a miracle.
And I'm proud to be part of his story.
And I appreciate him asking me to tell the story.
Five years ago, I was asked to speak at the Primary Purpose Group.
And he came and picked up his two-year chip that night.
There was another time he had a friend of ours, Tinsley, he told his story.
And it was, I think it was like Thanksgiving night or something.
We'd had our Thanksgiving meals.
And we met up at the Biscayne room.
And Tinsley got to speak.
And I got to introduce Tinsley.
And it was a big night.
It was exciting.
You know, one thing I did suggest, and it didn't, when Gus first came to Athens, was to look up Randy P.
I said, if you hook up with Randy and his crowd, you'll be all right.
But after DeKalb County Jail, you did get together with Randy and everything worked out good.
So anyway, my name is Tim, and I'm not hollering.
And I got sober April 30, 2007.
So I got sober when I was two.
And if I make 42 years, that will be a miracle.
Thank you.
My main home group is the Monday night group speakers meeting.
And that's where I picked up my white chip.
And that's part of my story the way it went on.
But I met my sponsor that night.
His name is Tim Morgan.
Tim has also worked on the pitches group before me at the Rock.
And he's spoken at the Rock.
It's a 12-step workshop.
And his sponsor is a gentleman by the name of Kenny.
Kenny H.
Or Horvat.
He doesn't mind me using his last name.
And he goes to the 6.15 a.m. daily meeting at 8111 in Roswell, Georgia.
And that's real commitment there.
Every morning, he's there at 6.15.
And that's how it's done.
Morgan's sober.
And he lived all the way on the other side of town.
But he wanted to get sober.
He couldn't get sober.
And he couldn't sleep.
And he'd drive and drive and drive all the way up to 8111.
He'd get there at daybreak.
And I ran into Kenny.
And Kenny told him,
You just don't have to feel like this ever again.
You got a chance here.
And they sat and talked.
And anyway, Tim's now been sober for...
He's about to celebrate his 19th year.
So, he's doing the deal.
And Kenny's sponsor was a guy named Papa Bill.
You know, a lot of folks may know Papa Bill.
Papa Bill didn't get sober until he was 60.
But he...
He did get over 30 years.
I think he passed away about four or five years ago.
We really miss Papa Bill.
He helped a lot of people get sober.
And he was very good about working in the Dallin Mountains.
So, he had a big effect on my life.
One of the things with the Blue Chip Speaker Meeting,
we started recording our speakers.
And so, we set up a website.
And right now, we have over 600 recording speakers.
I'd like to say they're priceless, but really, they're free.
Just, you can download them.
And the name of the website is aabluechipspeakers.org.
So, please come and log in.
And you'll see Gus.
He came and told his story right after we had our little reunion.
Yeah.
That was a big honor.
Yeah.
To have Gus there.
We've had Randy.
We've had Randall B.
A bunch of folks from Athens.
We'd love to get some more of you out there.
Thanks.
So, I'm going to pause for a second and say a little prayer.
The me version of the serenity prayer.
It says, God, grant me serenity.
To accept the people I cannot change.
Encourage to change the one I can.
And the wisdom to know that one is me.
Amen.
I'm going to go back and start because so long ago, my story begins with my parents.
My father was an Air Force captain.
He was a member of the rocket team before the astronaut program.
We were the first family to be shipped into Taegu, Korea after the Korean War.
He was Captain Dave.
And he also was an Auburn Tiger.
And one of Vince Dooley's teammates.
He played tight while my dad was tied in that senior year.
And Vince Dooley was younger.
And he came up and had a good career.
And my dad's last year at Auburn.
He played an undershirt during his first year that he coached.
I mean, I had issues with him.
He was also an Eagle Scout with the merit badges.
I ended up with all his effects.
He was killed when I was six years old.
And we were transferred to Tokyo.
My mother was a widow when she was 30 years old.
And he was from Columbus, Georgia.
My father was from Jackson, Mississippi.
My grandparents in Mississippi.
My grandfather was General Secretary of the Methodist Church for 30 years in Mississippi.
They were good folks.
They were good church-going folks.
My mother's father was named Pat Patterson.
And he was from Columbus, Georgia.
There was another Pat Patterson that was in Phoenix City across the river.
And he didn't turn out so good.
He ran into the criminal element.
The Secretary of State of Alabama tried to clean up Phoenix City.
He was basically assassinated.
My grandfather was told never to cross the river again.
So if he wanted to go anywhere west, he had to go around Phoenix City.
So I had two exact opposites as far as grandparents went.
Like I said, I lost my dad when I was six years old.
And we came back to Vicksburg Cemetery.
My dad's little brother was 14 at the time.
And he put his arm around me after the 21-gun salute.
And he told me I needed to be the man of the house and take care of my mother and my little sister.
And my little sister was three years old.
And I was six years old.
And it seemed like...
I said I would.
But it seemed like I was carrying the whole weight of the world on my shoulders.
And we ended up moving back to Columbia, Georgia.
And I got an infection of something called cellulitis in my joint of my left knee.
It started out more like a mosquito bug.
And then it started swelling.
And I went to the doctor.
And they had to drain it.
And then they put me in the hospital.
And they were giving me all these antibiotics.
And nothing was helping.
And it was getting worse and worse.
And they put me in a room with this guy who was about two years older than me.
And he had a problem with his left leg.
His got really bad.
And they amputated his left foot.
And I started getting worse.
And then they had to amputate him to his knee.
And so they were just cutting up his body.
And I wasn't getting any better.
I was terrified.
I had just lost my dad.
And then I didn't know what was going on with my body.
I watched this poor boy die.
I guess I...
At eight years old, I was praying.
But I got over it somehow.
Got out of the hospital.
And I was damn glad to do it.
Once I got home, I'm like eight years old.
And I'm the man of the house.
And I'm taking care of my family.
And my mother started smoking.
And I snuck a cigarette.
I guess I'd been out with some friends.
And we smoked rabbit.
We smoked rabbit to die for first.
And then somebody got a cigarette at home.
And we were blowing smoke rings out in the woods.
And then I started stealing cigarettes from my mother when I was eight years old.
By the time I was in fifth grade, I guess I was addicted to a pack of cigarettes a day.
And there's no way a kid that age can have that kind of habit.
Without learning how to lie, cheat, and steal.
A lot of my teachers who didn't smoke, they had to have known I smoked.
But nobody ever really confronted me.
And my mother would smoke this, but she never smelled it.
But I'd do anything to get those cigarettes.
I mean, if I had to steal from you.
If I had to break into your house.
I wouldn't take much more than what I needed.
It would be a lot here and there.
I was a paid thief.
Stuck with me well into my adulthood.
And so, cash register honesty, I wouldn't call it.
I wouldn't say I was that.
Though I had a lot of people believing that I was cash register honest.
Because I was living a global life.
And then I got into high school.
And I started making a little pocket money.
Selling Reaper.
I could buy a bag of pot.
And put a little bag aside for myself.
And then sell the rest of it.
And somehow ended up making part of the cash forever.
But during that time, also actually before all this.
I skipped ahead.
After that funeral.
I went to my grandparents in Jacksonville City.
My granddaddy had built me one of the best tree houses I've ever seen.
I was the oldest grandchild.
And I was going to inaugurate the family tree house.
And it was fantastic.
I mean, this kind of craftsmanship.
But in a tree house.
It was really something.
And I had been watching Gunsmoke on TV.
And we had been in Korea.
And there wasn't TV back then.
So the real novelty would be watching TV.
On Gunsmoke, this guy gets hung.
You know, he goes up in galas.
And it looked so real.
And I'm going, I know these are actors.
And they had to.
They had staged it somehow.
So I went to my grandpa's workshop.
And they had the same kind of rope you'd use for a hangman's noose.
And I tied the knot.
And it looked like a real hangman's noose.
And I said, well, I know what I'm going to do.
And I tied it up on the limb above the tree house.
And I put it up under my arms.
And put my shirt back on top of it.
And had it running all over my neck.
And I'm like.
Seven years old.
And I was going to play a practical joke on my grandmother.
And she came out telling me it was time for lunch.
And I was just hanging around the tree.
And this was right after my daddy died.
And she hit the dirt.
And I realized that I had gone a little too far.
And so she.
She was out cold.
And I got out of that noose.
And I stamped it down the tree.
And I was like.
Grandma.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
And when she saw me.
She tore me up.
I was a loose cannon of a family.
If that makes sense.
And the oldest.
They had a bunch of other great children coming up behind me.
And they were scared.
They were scared to death.
But when I got into high school.
And I was flipping these ounces.
And I was bootlegging.
And there was some kids.
My girlfriend in high school.
Her little brother.
They'd go through their parents dresser drawers.
All his friends.
And they had a tree house.
And I'd meet them at the tree house with their supplies.
The cases of beer.
And whatever else.
Drugs.
And they were 12 years old.
So.
I went on to Georgia.
When I got in the U.
And their standards weren't as high as they are today.
And got up here as a freshman.
And almost flunked out.
And Dean Tate called me into his office.
And he said.
If I get one more D out of you.
You're packed.
And so.
I discovered amphetamines.
And.
I was on an honorable abuse list.
I didn't get my screen.
Somebody told me that if you drink while you're studying.
You've got to continue to drink when you take the test.
If you're going to do well.
And so I took that to heart.
And.
By the time I graduated.
They said.
You want to go to grad school?
I said.
No.
I'm tired.
I'm worn out.
So I feel like I retired from college.
The career was.
I probably had 100 different jobs.
If I list them all out.
Most people.
You know.
A handful of jobs.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You know.
You have to go to college.
I mean.
Because.
I had a couple of jobs.
And.
I had to take the books.
A career.
Um.
But I did get into the computer industry.
Somehow.
And.
Started.
Helped start a company.
That.
We were.
Really sitting around a coffee table.
Talking about what is.
And.
You know.
What not.
And.
After a few years.
We had.
We had.
We had 36 stores.
And.
Um.
We have a corporate accounts division.
Our last year in business, we imploded.
We did $165 million.
And it looked like I hit the big time, but it wasn't to be.
We've gotten authorized as an IBM distributor.
We had been a gray market, which meant we kind of went around the – we didn't follow all the rules.
I know we didn't follow the rules, and we were very successful at it for a long time.
But then we signed up with IBM, they wanted us to play well with others.
And we couldn't pass the audits after the first year, and they snatched our ticket.
.
So we had a lot of capital funding, and we had the money reversed.
And I hung on to that company all the way through its federal protection, and it was about seven years.
I mean, it was up and down roller coaster experience.
And I was going to write a book about it, and it came up.
And I hung on to the title.
It was Sex, Drugs, and IBM.
But I never wrote the first page.
Again, I was too lazy to really follow through and get that done.
And one day, maybe, I was going to go back in the woods and see exactly how all this went down.
But –
I kind of castigated through that.
I went through multiple jobs, went through some really fantastic opportunities and some great companies.
At one point, I decided to get out of a sales game and try to project management up,
and so I started off on an IBM project with Liberty Mutual . . .
. . . and . . .
. . . . . another trip to New York.
. . . . . . I was one of them.
. . . . . . and . . . . . I was one of them.
. . . . . and . . . . and . . . . . . . yeah.
. . . . . . . . . I met two people out of my company, I was the one that started off in theünstry business here, I was part of the company owner, we worked in two different entities.
That was a fun day for the project, and we installed nationwide 3,500 devices.
It was highly scheduled and highly structured, and I thought my life was getting manageable again.
But when I would get on the plane, I'd have a water bottle, and it would be full of vodka.
It was 4911, and I'd sit down, and I'd put that water bottle down, and the flight attendant would come up and say,
Can I get you a drink, sir? And I'd say, Yeah, I'd love a bottle of water.
She'd say, Do you have a bottle of water?
I'd say, Yeah, I really love water.
So then she'd bring me a bottle of water, and the poor guy sitting next to me was watching me mix some water and water up over ice.
And I'd say,
Oh, my God.
It wasn't quite so amazing.
And then after that project, they ended up at Halliburton Energy, and I had no idea what Halliburton Energy was until then.
And that was before we got involved in Iraq.
I used to eat at the same cafeteria with Dick Chang and his entourage.
Of course, I didn't sit at his table, but I got a good, big, close look at it.
And I'd say,
Oh, my God.
It's a pretty exciting project.
It was a pretty exciting project.
But I kept drinking and drinking and drinking.
And by the time I was 53 years old, I was experiencing that typical and comprehensible demoralization that a lot of us find.
And that led me to the program.
Now, somewhere in there, I got a DUI that stuck on my record.
I fixed a lot of DUIs.
I couldn't tell you how many I've had.
But this one stuck, and it was in Fulton County.
And there was a judge who was a female judge, and she was a pretty attractive lady.
And she asked me, she was about to sentence me, if I had any vacation time coming.
And I was thinking, well, what do you want to go to Jamaica with her?
I don't know.
So she threw the book at me, took away my license, sentenced me to 30 days in Fulton County.
And sent me to a court-ordered psychologist.
But did not send me that ad.
So I go to the court-ordered psychologist.
And it's $65 a session, and he's got me on his schedule three days a week.
And I'm losing maybe 20 hours a week at work.
And I was like, well, how long is this going to take, Doc?
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And I was like, well, how long is this going to take, Doc?
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And he goes, well, whenever you get sober.
And I said, how long?
And he goes, well, I don't know.
He said, see how it goes.
I said, well, what can I do?
And he said, he could go to AA.
Besides that.
So I never really, never gave it a chance.
I was searching out
the perfect woman
and she was going to get me
I was going to get sober
so I'd be good enough
to be with my wife
now she didn't have to be
depending on drinking and driving
and that was a pretty good plan
until it was time
to celebrate
an anniversary
or something like that
a milestone
and then we'd open
a bottle of wine
and she'd have a glass
and that was it
and the next day
she was fine
and I was already thinking
about my next drink
because I'd been
wiping up on it
for like
I don't have any months
and then I got
a taste of that wine
and it wasn't enough
I'd have more
and then she would find out
that my true love
was alcohol
alcohol
alcohol
and that's when
I'd get the big book
for Christmas
for a birthday present
so I had multiple
I had a pretty good library
of A.A.
I hadn't read
I hadn't read any of it
so I seen this
four-word psychologist
and I noticed
all the bills
and I'm writing him a check
and he's writing me
out my receipt
I said
doctor
I'm in the computer business
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate this
we could automate your office
you need to generate invoices
and you put it right into your
accounts payable
and accounts receivable
and general ledger
and I can put all that together
for you
but I can't afford that
and I said
let me bring you a quote
let's see if you can afford
not to do it
so
selling all this stuff
at cost
for a free installation
and he goes
okay I'll do that
and I delivered it
on a day on schedule
and I set it all up
we've done all the configuration
in the house
and I delivered it
and I trained him
and I said
let's do your first invoice
and he goes
great
I said
who are you going to
put it right out to
and he said
how about you
and I said
me
and he goes
yes
Tim Ridgeway
$65
and I said
for what
and he said
for today
I said
I just sold you a computer
at cost
and then I did the installation
and you're going to charge me
$65
and he said
well you haven't won it
did you
and I'm like
no
I didn't
I didn't
so I did it
and I said
we're going to write a letter
and he said
what's it going to say
who's it going to be to
and I said
my brother
and he said
look
what's it going to say
he said
Tim Ridgeway
is cured
of alcoholism
why would I do that
I said
because I'm going to go
to your boss
and tell him
what just happened
and we'll see
if you have this job
next week
and I shut up
and we stared at each other
for about five minutes
and then he finally
said
I printed the entire thing
and he signed it
now neither one of us
must have ever
read the big book
all of us
who've read the book
in the doctor's opinion
knows
there's no cure
for alcoholism
I can tell you
the probation officer
he's read the book
he goes
you're a liar
you're a liar
what the heck is this
and he calls the doctor
and the doctor goes
yeah
yeah
I signed that
yep
I wrote that letter
yep
yeah
Tim's cured of alcoholism
and he goes
there's no way
that I'm just
going to be cured
because I'm the doctor here
and the guy
slams the phone down
and he goes
listen
if I ever see you again
I'm going to go
you better not show up
and you know what
I drank at home
after that
I didn't drink and drive
because I knew
what was in store for me
but I did drink
another 20 years
after that
and I didn't go
to the N.A. again
so
I ended up
taking care of my mom
and
she was a severe diabetic
and one day
she seemed kind of off
and she was crying
and I said
what's wrong
and she goes
last night I needed help
and you were no good
you were drunk
and you couldn't even help me
and
I don't know what to do
but whatever it is
you know
I can't
I can't live like this
and so
I really felt bad
because I knew
what she
what she was doing
and I knew
and I started
to lighten up with it
and what I did
is I got on my knees
and I prayed
for God to give me
the strength
not to drink
that's all I needed
I didn't go to A
and I had the A books
and I did
I was ignorant
I did
I just would not
look at that
but I did know to pray
and I lightened up with it
and after about 30 days
I was able to drink
and I did drink
and I didn't change
the craving
went away
and instead of praying
I started
looking at myself
in the mirror
and talking to myself
and you've got willpower
and I started taking credit
and I didn't pray anymore
and then
a year went by
and Thanksgiving came up
and my family
had noticed
I'd stopped drinking
I didn't declare
I'd stopped drinking
I didn't declare
I'd stopped drinking
and they said
well when did you stop
and I said
I think last Thanksgiving
so that Thanksgiving
they gave me
a one year medallion
from
there was an A.A. coin
I'd never been to an A.A.
before
and I was kind of ashamed
to put the coin
in my pocket
because
an A.A.
should mean something
and I even
I knew that
if not that would
come to an A.A. need
a couple days
later
there was a friend of mine
who was a
business associate
heavy drinker
guy got two DUIs
in one night
lost his license
for ten years
married to a
designated driver
and the week he got
his driver's license
he was back to drop dead
from the drinking
and I went to his
funeral
and I'm standing
next to his casket
and
a buddy of ours
we got to go to his
we used to work with us
and we even had this thing
called beer 30
we'd throw it in five
ten bucks
and they'd go and buy
as much beer
as the one year there was
and bring the beer
back to the office
and we'd be popping beers
before rush hour
and this
I'd always find
a whole beer
on his desk
so he just
opened it
to be part of the crowd
but he didn't drink it much
he's standing next to it
in the casket
and he goes
how are you doing Tim
I said I'm good
how are you
and he goes
I'm good
you sure you ok
I said well
you talking about my drinking
and he goes
well yeah
how's that going
I said well
I haven't had a drink
in 14 months
and he goes
well you must be one of those
AA miracles I hear about
I said mmm
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
I got weird
that's not my real power
I don't need AA
it might even work without comics
but I don't
he looked at me
with total disbelief
either I was bullshitting him
or I was the stupidest guy
he'd ever seen
clueless
that's the way he looked at me
the car after the funeral
and I said
you've got willpower
a rear view mirror and got thrown home. My mother had a stroke. She broke her hip. She
went to the hospital. Got her in nursing care. I caused so much trouble, they threw her out
of the nursing home. They had to move her down to Emory. And I got her thrown out of
Emory. She was in six nursing homes. Why do you want him? I allowed myself to have a glass
of wine. And that led to another one. And then I hadn't had anything to drink in a while
and I really wanted to get drunk. And then I got drunk and drunk for probably three months
steady. And I'm running out of time now, but
I was running out of time then too. So my sister came by to check on me. She thought
I wasn't drinking anymore because she wanted to get me a chip. I told her I couldn't stop
drinking. I was in need of health and she took me to my first AA meeting. And the guy
who was telling this story was a guy named David C. who's the sponsee of Bill Sanders.
Bill Sanders is a great guy. He was a great guy. He was a good friend of mine. He's an
excellent man. He really was a good person. He really is a good guy. He's a strong man.
And he's standing there, 20 years sober, telling his story, and he looked like a million bucks, and he starts parking his house in Sandy Springs, where his big sister's boyfriend would bring the booze, and he'd love it on Friday nights.
And I realized that I was in the story, and that was my first day in the pickup election.
And he gave me Bill Sanders' phone number, and I, he said, Bill's probably too busy, but he'll give you some advice what to do.
I called Bill, and he said on his answering machine, this is Bill Sanders, leave a message if you want, and have a great day, unless you have other plans.
And I said, well, yeah.
And I thought, I'll never hear from him.
He called me in, what, three minutes, and talked to me for two hours.
He got me started, and he said, he gave me all the right suggestions, he said the right things I needed to hear.
That's really, you know, that's how it all got started.
Like I said, we've got like 600 reporters.
We've got a lot of speakers, much better than mine, that's the story, at aaclubes.speakers.org.
I'm involved in several home groups in Gainesville, the Hawk Club, the Fresh Air Group, and the Freedom Group, and the Gainesville Classic Group at St. Luke's.
I'll finish up with one last prayer, borrowed from Larry Scott's big book,
and this is where I got it.
It's an old-timer's prayer, and I'm not an old-timer yet,
but I do record an old-timer's meeting every year at Havoc,
and so I'm an honorary old-timer.
God, keep me from thinking I'm going to share in every meeting, no matter the topic.
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, and give me wings to get to the point.
Well, I don't know if I succeeded.
Remind me to guard confidences and to keep still when I feel it is necessary to speak up for someone's own good.
Release me from the need to straighten out everybody else's thinking and program.
God, I ask for the grace to listen to new times.
Please help me to remember the patience with which others listened to me when I was new.
Please fill my lips and give me advice, and help me to remember and share only my experience with you.
Amen.
Remind me that my purpose is to fit my skills to be of maximum service to you and to the people around me.
Help me to remain teachable.
Teach me again and again the lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be wrong,
and remind me, please, of the freedom that I gain when I am able to promptly admit I am wrong and make amends when necessary.
Help me to remember the difference between making amends and just saying,
I am wrong.
I am sorry.
Help me to be a worker among workers, a friend among friends.
Please help me from being a bleeding beacon and help me to walk the path towards being an elder statesman slash stateswoman.
Keep me ever mindful that I cannot manage my own life through my own unheated will.
I know that I am not a saint.
Please show me the way to speak to you so that I may continue to grow along in spiritual life.
Remind me, please, of rules.
Remind me that I am not perfect, even though I have humbly asked that my character defects be removed,
and shortcomings still arise unexpectedly to cause damage to others and to myself.
Help me to walk with faith and acceptance to see good things in unexpected places,
and talents in unexpected people.
Give me the grace to tell them so.
Help me to see that you love each of your children and that you do not need my opinion of them or suggestions on what they might deserve.
Thank you much, God.
Amen.
Thank you, Tim.
I'm going to start with a sermon to get somebody to sit around and talk to somebody to give out some reverence to them.
I'm going to draw one of them real out in the hall.
Congratulations, John.
What do you got, Bill?
Thank you, Austin.
I've heard it before.
This man saved my life.
He saved thousands of lives in this town.
I remember back in the day, they had a commencement ceremony down at the hospital.
It was in an old nursing building back there.
He stayed back there.
He stayed there for 40 days and 40 nights.
He didn't get to do a little art, I guess.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
On Sundays, they'd give out these LOAs.
You know, with the expense of the leave of absence.
On Sunday afternoon.
The fellow there wouldn't give me one.
He made me stay the whole time.
Asked me what I wanted. He said,
Oh, you wouldn't come back.
I said, you're right.
I wouldn't have. I guarantee it.
I'm going to tell you, if it wasn't for this man, I wouldn't be standing here in front of you all tonight.
Hey, Gus, what do you say you want me to do?
You show this thing, I'm going to say one for the seven.
We just got here, didn't we?
Time flies, doesn't it? When you have the time.
Anyway,
Well, Ricky?
What are you doing there?
Go ahead.
Well, they brought water on a real alcoholic.
Congratulations, both of you guys.
And this looks like a lot of other people's gunships.
I don't want you to share this.
They say, start or restart, they give you a flight ship.
I say, if you live long enough to get here, you're in it.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
That's the third thing, to have a real ship.
90 days in the field.
That's 90 days, that's not what a judge gives you.
You're going to have to begin that, I think.
Anybody got six months?
Well, I ain't doing no shit, I'm sorry.
You get a nine-month ship, the green one,
and the blue one's for 365 days, sometimes five nights, a blue ship.
And I can't tell y'all, I'm going to do that one ship tonight for a big crowd.
And I can't tell y'all, I'm going to do that one ship tonight for a big crowd.
Why don't you tell me these speakers mean hi, and you don't have to do no shabby.
And I'm not going to start, restart, and take flight ships.
I'm coming by, because she's the most important person in this room tonight.
Mm-hmm.
How many ladies in this room tonight would be willing to talk to her after this meeting and raise your hand?
You're a poor one.
How do you get that drunk?
You talked to her, she raised her hand.
You thought I asked for a white ship.
Anybody got 30 days?
I sent a rope.
Dr. Paul, how do you get a rope inside of a flag, baby?
That's a big old one, isn't it?
Anybody got nine days?
Anybody got six months?
Anybody got three months?
That's a big one.
He's coming back.
Yeah.
That's a large one to get.
Yeah.
So you can get this straight one that's like, I got this color.
Let's check him out.
Anybody got nine months?
You better have a birthday if we don't know nothing about it.
Well, I do know something about it.
Well, I know we got one pleasant thing, if we know that.
I'll bet we do.
Rich horn association.
Hey, boy.
How are you?
How exhibit?
Hey, Roy Brown.
.
What up, how?
This is a financier.
.
When you come out to eat, we'll get you a treat or two.
Isn't that it?
I think I'll just hang out with you guys for a while and I'll introduce you
to some of the people that I'veよろしく that regard.
But, you know, all right.
Here's a little slide-through for you.
So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to hang out with you guys.
I got that.
And he pitched me almost what he did.
We've been friends a long time.
That's the thing about this program.
You know, people have to get honest, and they tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear.
He was very sincere in loving me in his statement, and I took it to heart.
And I figured it was just about time that I got sober.
And I'm really proud.
I'm really proud of Dr. T.
Congratulations on you and Gus.
Congratulations on your trip as well.
You know, Gus came in this program from the first time I saw him.
I knew that you were on fire, and you've remained on fire.
You help a lot of people, and I'm grateful.
Thank you.
I got out for his birthday 42 years ago.
I've been living longer now.
Way longer.
All right, here we go.
A beautiful crowd.
In this group, we always offer this chip flash.
Wow!
You need to take this crowd out of their lives.
Take them to a meeting.
A memory meeting.
Everybody deserves a second chance.
Another reason is tonight might be your last chance to get a chip.
I bet that lady came following.
You might go out tonight and take a drunk.
Eat your gun.
It won't taste good.
Get in your car and go riding around and get one of them DUIs.
I got some of them to sit.
It took my life, but I drove just through without them, and I did what?
.
You might run over somebody tonight and kill them.
You'll be down there on the rest of the road if you're lucky.
Wishing you would overhear too long now.
I really don't want to see that.
So that's a big crowd in here tonight.
I say this a lot.
It's time next year.
It won't be the same crowd.
It'll be a different crowd.
You come in here and plan to go up and run your sheep tonight.
You've just got in your big league.
AA is serious.
Alcohol will kill you.
I'm like Bill now.
I've been around a long time.
It's not been 42 years.
We've both seen a lot of alcohol abuse.
And it ain't crazy.
People killing themselves.
Cracking themselves.
Soap on their own body.
And I really don't want to see nobody do that tonight.
So if anybody wants to be a white kid.
Everybody, that ain't no kid in the world.
Yeah, it's no kid.
I was just gonna say that, to help badly.
This guy is on his phone.
Well, actually, people don't talk.
о
You don't have to go in there.
You gotta be Patrick Swinton.
Dave, you going to tell次
Bailey, nobody's gonna hear you,
never mind my voice,
Mom, you can watch your
Some of them are sober now, some of them are drunk now, some of them are dead, some of
them just didn't even come to AA.
But Thurston did, and he finally grabbed a hold of what this program was all about.
See, we come in here and we think it's about us.
It ain't about us.
The next one coming in the door back down there.
That one that's still out there in the bushes right now, see.
Wonder what I can do.
Both of them are like that old prospector.
We're down at St. Petersburg, we're down at that last hill.
Hmm.
That's what Gus does, he gives it away.
And he's just like me, can't figure out how I keep coming back back to him and give it away.
But, congratulations to the fans.
Big deal.
I don't have to say to y'all what I had to say that other time, so come on and get this shit, man.
I'm Gus, I am an alcoholic.
I'm Gus.
My name is Bruce, Tim, thank you.
Randy, thank you.
And all the gentlemen that have worked with me, thank you.
You know, that's one of the reasons I keep coming, is because you guys paid away for me.
You know, the way to freedom.
You know, and I have to do the same with the new guy that walks in.
You know, and it's been truly an honor.
Bill, you're a huge inspiration.
You know, 42 years, that's as long as I've been alive.
You know, you got sober when I was about maybe five months old.
You know, and hopefully one day I can turn around and have one of these.
And John, thank you.
It's the only place I know where you get trophies.
I wouldn't want, but it's a trophy.
So thank you.
And if you're new, stay.
You know, please.
You know, I'm grateful that I had some good teachers that illustrated the program of action.
You know, and showed me the way out.
And they're not every dead.
So, thank you.
And Bill, let's ask John P.
John, I'm an alcoholic.
Congratulations, young lady with a white chip.
You start the day off.
All the young men here that have gotten seven years or 42 years, they started with their first day.
And that's most important.
And realistically, everybody in this room is working on that.
Everybody in this room is working on this same 24-hour period.
Think about that now.
So, congratulations.
And it's not a trophy.
You earned it.
More than a trophy.
Bill, I don't know what I'd do without you.
You have taught me more in the time I have known you from 80, what was that, 80, 89, when I joined the group.
Something like that.
And 30 years ago, I joined the alumni group.
Anyhow, it doesn't matter.
The original job Bill will not do.
It needs to be done.
Spot on the floor.
And write a big book for a newcomer.
Get up and walk across the room to shake the hand of a strange face.
I wish I did more of that, you know.
And this is why I believe he has done what he has and achieved.
This number.
That's 15,330 days.
That's a lot.
You know.
And yes, I'm older than 42.
No one else here can do that.
I cannot say one iota of red for 42 years.
You know, 42 years ago, I was absolutely beaten.
I had had an arm of the light and it was gone.
My health was gone.
All my limbs were swelled tremendously because I hit every last thing.
Cheating up.
You know, my liver was huge.
My family had to live.
I lost my last dollar.
And I got down on my face and said,
Please God.
Please God.
It wasn't limited to my life.
Please help me.
You know, that was a tremendous spiritual experience.
And I have not
done anything since then
except the grace of God
and the power of God
with myself.
And every single year it can be beautiful.
It's wonderful.
This is a wonderful program.
It's God inspired.
And you just have to live in it.
Just better and better and better.
Thank you all for being here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Alright.
Thank you guys.
That's awesome.
I'm Joseph, and I am an alcoholic.
If you don't have anywhere to spend Thanksgiving,
the Loon Carb Group is having their regular meeting at 12 o'clock.
They're meeting at the 700 Professional Block on August 4th,
and after their 12 o'clock meeting on Thanksgiving Day,
they're going to have Thanksgiving dinner.
The group is furnished in the turkey,
and they're asking if you can bring a side dish.
Just get some dish, and put some food in it,
put a cover on top of it, and bring yourself a dish.
But if you can't, just come in anyway, that's all.
Thanksgiving Day at Loon Carb,
700 Professional Block on August 4th Avenue.
Thank you.
I'm Bill Alcove.
Thanksgiving Day, the 24th Street Club will be open all day.
It will be people in the lounge.
There will be food.
There will be drinks.
Everybody will be welcome.
Everybody who needs to spend Thanksgiving Day at Loon Carb.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm Greg.
You want to take us out?
Sure.
I'm Greg.
I'm an alcoholic.
Greg.
Greg.
Let's just remember the 12th tradition.
It taught us about anonymity.
Please feel free to carry the maskage.
Not the mask of the earth.
And nobody will know that you were here, or that we're here.
And,
nobody,
I'm not going to do that.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
Congratulations, Doc.
Congratulations, guys.
Um,
Doc was, uh,
He's done for a couple of years the last time.
The dog was born.
Thanks for accepting this deal.
So,
Maybe he's going to raise him up for another one this year.
We'll close with the Lord's Prayer after a moment of silence.
A moment of silence?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Lord's Prayer.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Uh,
the former,
watched,
Laurie,
and the corporal,
looked copy.
E Riverいうこと que no era.
Bueno,
whiskey,
mateo,
Uh,
fry.
Ja,
yeah,
yes,
yeah.
I'm sorry.
Gar fuzzy them.
Um,
ah,
don't make me.
Keep coming back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
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