Get Big Enough to Get Little Enough to Surrender — That Is the Paradox of the First Step – Bish M.
About This Speaker Tape
Bish M. speaks at the 25th anniversary of a Southeastern conference in April 1969 with deep gratitude for what the fellowship has given him. His eloquent, unhurried style carries the weight of a man who spent his whole life feeling inadequate, ill at ease, and apart from rather than a part of the world around him. He describes being disturbed from as early as age four and a half, when he started school and knew he needed a drink before he had ever tasted one.
Bish's central metaphor is the goldfish in a glass jar: the whole world can see him, but nobody can touch him, because the alcoholic builds a protective shell that keeps everyone out. He describes the paradox of the disease — that the alcoholic has to pretend to be something he is not because he is convinced that who he really is will never be accepted. The lies and fantasy become normal.
His message about what makes AA work is grounded in the story of the dry pump: half measures avail us nothing, and you have to pour all the water in before the pump will flow. When he finally surrendered completely — deflated, with nowhere to look but up — the things he had always wanted but never had began to appear: comfort, peace, freedom, and belonging. He describes the riches of recovery as unmeasurable by any dollar amount, listing self-respect, human dignity, peace of mind, and genuine love as dividends no one can buy.
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