Don’t Tell Me What You Know: Why I Belong to an Action-Based Group – Robbie W.

Welcome to the Lovelady Spiritual Jam. My name is Scott Flynn. I'm a recovered alcoholic. Hi Scott. What's up everybody? Before we start this morning, I'll put the serenity prayer. God, I pray for you to be serenity. For the set of things that have not changed. For the prayer that has changed the things that have not. And the will that is in the power of your grace. Alright, thank you. Alright, I have a few announcements here before we get started. If anybody who has registered, could please pick their name tag up over there at the front desk. And if you have not registered, could you please go do so. Throughout the day, you can see Lena and Bill over at the table for CDs for this event and other events. Bathrooms are right around this corner where the bookcases are and follow the exit signs. Please do not break any of the art. Feel free to handle it and look at it, but just don't break any of it. Don't take any of it home, please. Our breaks will be short, so please come back and take your seats as quickly as possible. So you can keep the day going and have respect for our speakers. And now will be a great time to silence all cell phones. So if you have a cell phone, please mute it. If you have a cell phone, please put it on silent. And this way you can respect the speaker and the people around you. And our first speaker, I was surprised who it was because it's so early in the morning. This guy has no enthusiasm really, or not much. And he tends to put people to sleep. So, but he's a good friend of mine and I love him and I always enjoy listening to him. So please help me welcome Robbie W. Robbie! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Good morning everybody. My name is Robbie and I am an alcoholic. Hi everybody. Through the grace of God, this awesome fellowship, a great home group, great line of sponsorship. It is absolutely fantastic. And the fact that I've taken all 36 spiritual principles of the fellowship, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, that's the 12 steps, the 12 principles. The 12 traditions and the 12 concepts. I've been a member of AA in good standing since October 31st of 1983. And for that, and it's okay, it's okay if you get excited this morning. That's okay, I will not get upset with that. You know, it's okay to let your sobriety come out. You know what I mean? First of all, I want to thank Dave P. and the committee up here. Lena, it's good to see you. Tapen, a good friend of mine. It's good to see Jimmy and Mary Beth A. And Scotty Flams and all my friends that are here at 8.30 in the morning. Okay, I think, like I just did a meeting last night. I chair a meeting every Friday night, okay, to bring your own big book meeting in Wildwood, New Jersey. We meet from a 9.30 at night to 11.30 at night every Friday night. And I always tell my group, we are serious about our sobriety. And my thinking is if you're up at 8.30 in the morning in LBI and you're here, look at the big crowd. There's hundreds of people here. And that is exciting. You know? So thank you so much. This is going to be an awesome day. I remember growing up, I used to watch Johnny Carson with my mom. Now, I was drunk, okay? But I would watch Johnny Carson with my mom. And I'd see these, like, really famous actors and actresses. And they would come on. They would do a quick spot. And then they would leave. And I thought to myself, man, they're important. You know, they're not staying for the whole show, you know, or whatever. And the reality of it is now I found out what the deal is with those people. They're busy. Okay? You see, when I get done speaking today, I got to go to work, man. You know, it's the last day of the month and I'm in the car business. Okay? I got three or four people coming in to pick up cars today. And I begged them not to come in until 11 a.m. And it works. So when I leave here today, it's not because I'm any more important or I did my deal and I'm running because I really don't like that. But I told Dave P., if he can get me in nice and early, it would be an honor to come up here. So if you see me leave, that's the only reason. Please don't judge. Okay? I know alcoholics don't judge. But don't judge. I'm going to work. Okay? I got a job. Huh? Newcomers. Anyway, I love sobriety, man. I'm getting ready. Did I give you my sobriety date? I did. October 31st of 1983. Me and Scotty. Where's you at, Scotty? Raise your hand. There he is. Me and Scotty Flims on October 26th of this year. We're going to hook up on Fort Lauderdale with Sno-P and we're going on a cruise. And for my 30th anniversary, I'm going to be on the beach in Cozumel, Mexico carrying the message. Newcomers, if that's not hope, I can't help you any further. I mean, this life is huge, man. Huge is like a weak, you know, Kool-Aid word. You know what I mean? Like, this is so huge. If you stay sober in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, that, you know, things are going to happen that are going to be behind your wildest dreams. Weak. Things are going to happen that are going to blow you away if you stay sober. Blow you away. Rocket you into fourth dimension existence. Okay. I think things are going to happen. You're going to be like in your sponsor's car on the way to a convention. And you're going to be like all fired up because some dude's hitting you with big book stuff. Another dude's hitting you with first step. You know, reach for this program. Really, the diamond sees a life preserver. You're going to be sitting here feeling. You're going to be levitating in the back of a car. You're going to be like, yeah. You know, I'm with the angels. I'm with the saints. This is unbelievable. You know? And that's what's going to happen, you know, if you hang out with people like us. You know what I mean? If you stay sober in this program. You know, if you don't quit before the miracle happens. You know, if you do some work. And I'm sorry to use that curse word early on, Lena. You know, but in the big book on 163, it says this program requires willingness, patience, and labor. Hello. You know, it requires labor. You know, my big book's all marked up. I got stuff written in here. I got tabs. I got stuff on the side. My big book's falling apart. You know? And that's all good. I know what's in here. I can go with the best of them with what's in this big book. Okay? But see, that's not why I know what's in here. See, my job, there was this guy walking this earth about 2,000 years ago. Okay? And he used to always get old people that were into the letter of the law. And he would always say, come on. Let's go with the spirit. Let's go with the spirit, people. I don't care what you know. I don't care if you know what's in this big book about alcoholics and non-biologists. But are you applying it? See? And that's what I got taught here. Today I got to be an applicable alcoholic. You know what I mean? I got to take this program to our car dealership after I do this deal today. I got to, when I pick up my daughter tonight, my little 14-year-old, she's going to have two girlfriends with her. Great. Good job, Dad. I got three 14-year-old girls staying over at my shore house tonight. I got to go with me. And how am I with my daughter and her girlfriends? You know, are her girlfriends leaving on Sunday saying, Mr. Walker, man, you're totally cool. You know? We're going to go surfing and have some fun on the beach, my little beach town. And that's what fires a dude like me up. You know, I got my wallet over there. By the way, I put my keys on top of it so I'll hear it if it moves. But in that wallet over there, man, I got 20s, dudes. I got 20s, Jimmy. I got 20s, you know. I can go to the boardwalk and I can tell the girls, here's three 20s. You girls have a good time. Grace of God. Grace of God. Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Big book. You know, 12 and 12. You know, sponsorship. You know, all the tenants of this program. You know, and my meeting is usually like 20 minutes of program. If that bothers you, call your sponsor. But here's my deal. Here's my deal. Man, like, I got to have this program. I got to have these steps. I'm a member of a home group. I'm active in that group. I chair a meeting in that group. I'm a member of my inner group. I'm chairing a round up in November called the Waves of Sobriety in Cape May. I'm an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I take new guys from my home group and from wherever you're from through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. As a gift at the end, I give them my binder with the 12 steps in there. Okay, and then it's their job to carry it to others. You see, I'm into this program. I'm not around it. I don't know about you people, how you drank and how you drugged. And if you're listening to this, CD. But let me just say this with you. When I was out there, I was out there. You know what I mean, David P.? I was in the middle of the nightclub, man, singing something from Led Zeppelin, Black Dog. You know, my hair going up and down. You know what I mean, Scotty? I had a plant again in my hand. I had non-conference approved stuff in my pocket. And I'm telling you what, I was ready to go. I was ready to go. Ready to go. Come on, bring it on. Bring it on. You knew I was in the nightclub. You knew I was in the bar. You knew I was there. So I can't come to Alcoholics Anonymous and sit in the back row, no offense, okay? And blend in. It's not my job. I'm a front row sickie. I'm a guy that sits up front and I'm leaning on the edge of my seat waiting for the next thing, the next speaker to talk about something else cool. I'm like this, like this gal right here. I'm like this. I swear to God I'm going to be an old timer in Alcoholics Anonymous, Robin, and I think I'm going to have like a, that thing on my neck. And that newcomer's going to say, what's wrong with him? Oh, he's just been doing a lot of this for a lot of years. That's right. Member of Alcoholics Anonymous in good standing. Huh? I can't wait to celebrate 30 years in October 31st. I'm going to be so fired up. Cozumel, come on with it. Right, Scotty? We're going to have, my poor brother. We're in an inside stateroom. Good luck. Bill Wilson on page 16 of the big book says that sometimes newcomers are shocked at our seeming worldliness and our levity or our humor, you see. But then the next sentence he says, but just underneath it is a deadlock. It's a deadly earnestness. I need to share about something this morning. And I don't know why I'm, I just, it's just on my heart. It's where I'm at. In 2008, I separated from my wife. At the time, you know, I had a beautiful BMW convertible. My wife had a very expensive school utility. We had a beautiful home. We had a little baby girl. And unfortunately, there was some abuse in that marriage. And I went through it. And I went through it. And I walked through it for seven years and eight years and nine years. And I finally went to Allen. And I couldn't do it no more. I couldn't do it no more. And it was time for me to go. Now, I was born and raised a Catholic. And I am telling you, when I left, man, I was so, I felt so guilty. And I was so down. I'm sharing this for a reason, because this is who I am and what I am. And I had 25 years of sobriety. And I was known. And I was, I share all over the United States, for the grace of God, in Canada and the world. And you know, and I'm a speaker in this and that. And I'm a speaker in the United States. And I'm a speaker in the United States. And I'm known in AA and in, you know, house and a wife and a child, and great job, great income, woo! Heirs, alcohol to none, Miss Rob W. So what happened? I had to, I, I, I had to leave. And I went to the Catholic אתה. was so downtrodden. I went from 225 pounds to 150. And I'm telling you, I was not good. I was not good. And I knew where to go. I knew where to go. And I went to my home group where I sponsored guys. And I'm the guy that runs the picnic. And I'm the guy that does this. And I'm the guy that does that. And I'm the guy that sits up front. And I'm the guy that shares every meeting. And I went to my home group the very first day when I left my wife and my little baby behind. And I remember sitting in the front row. And I'm not going to, because I had upbringing. It said I had an unshakable foundation is what our book talks about. And because I had an unshakable foundation, Dave, I knew what to do on that day. I knew it wasn't about drinking or killing myself. I knew it was about getting to my people and telling them who I am and what I am and where I am. And I sat in that front row. And all my boys were like, what's wrong? And I started crying. I started saying I left my wife and I left Allison. And I don't want to live anymore. I didn't want to drink. I didn't want to live anymore. And I was going through the worst period of my life where 25 years of sobriety. And I sat there and I cried. And I told my home group. And I don't know what happened. It was weird, man. Like God got me to start a big book. I was so beaten because I was still speaking. I said to my sponsor, I said, Johnny, Johnny H. I said, I can't do this. He says, yes, you can. He says, let me ask you a question. How long have you been on the job? I said, 23 years. He says, talk about that. He says, how long have you been sober? I said, 25 years. He said, talk about that. He says, who are you sponsoring? I told him. He said, talk about that. He says, you're going to walk through this with me and you're not going to stop walking this path. So I started, I started, I kept on speaking and I didn't feel it, but I kept on speaking. I kept on sitting up and showing up and putting on the fake face. I kept on doing the deal with 25 years of sobriety because you people told me to do that. See, I had a program, not just under good and good weather, but under fair weather. I had a faith, not just when things are going good and I'm getting accolades and things and the bills are paid and I bring home a new sport utility or when I bring the baby home from the hospital. But see, I had to have faith when everything fell there and the lower powers coming at me, you know, and alcohol is coming at me in all forms and shapes. And I started a big book meeting. I started a big book meeting on Friday nights and God just had me doing this big book meeting. And afterwards, my boy Benny, he's now my spiritual advisor. He's got 20, he's a new guy. He's got like 26 years of sobriety, right? And, but he's one of my boys. We've been sober all along, double dating. We even dated some of the same girls in different years. And he comes up and ended a big book meeting and I'm only about eight months from my, from my separation. I'm still not divorced yet and I'm not good. I am good. I'd have people see me at means because I went from 225 to about 175. They're like, oh, you got the divorce diet going on. And then ladies and gentlemen, that's not a funny thing to say to nobody. And I was hurting and I was hurting. I'm like, no, no, no. You know, I smile. It's funny. I was hurting. And he knew it. He said, Rob, he said, you, you got a new place in Ocean City. You got a nice little house. He says, come, come in. The boys come over because of the reason. Benny's my good buddy. He says, come in. The boys come over because of the reason. Benny's my good buddy. He says, come in. The boys come over because he's sponsored a lot of guys. He's like that little, that mama duck and all the little ducks follow him. That's who I hang out with. And he says, we need a place to meet after your meeting. We all come to your big book. But I was like, oh, all right, guys, you can come over, you know, and they come over and one of his guys would always be on the hot seat, right? At night in my, in the meeting in my house, every Friday night, we'd never get over one, two o'clock old time AA. If you hear, if you hang around with people say, AA ain't like it used to be, you know what they're saying? I don't do what I used to do. So I got this meeting at my house and I'm going to two or three in the morning and all of a sudden, you know, new guy on the hot seat came through the first step, second step, fourth step, inventory, sexual conduct, yeah, good meeting. About the fourth week, they're at my place. Benny says, Robby, why don't you sit in the middle? Here's what happened. We're 25 years of sobriety and a bunch of friends that loved me and weren't going to let me kill myself. they all got real close. They had this plan for four weeks, the jerks. These are guys with a lot of time and a couple new guys. And they surrounded me in a circle. This is men, all men. And they said, we love you, dude. And we're losing you. And they said, this meeting ain't for us. They said, this meeting's for you. I broke down like I never broke down before in my life. I haven't told this on the podium yet. This is a, I'm healing from this divorce still. And, and they just loved me that night. And I am telling you, I am telling you from my heart that I don't want to go on any longer. See, when you go from a place up here and everybody, and all the accolades of the world are coming and you're successful and things are going great, and then all of a sudden you get knocked down to the corner. You better believe what the book says. And you better have a God. And you better reach, you better reach for this program like the diamond sees the light. And you better have men and women in your life that know who you are and what you are and where you are. And through the grace of God, because I was a good member of Altimus, and I never let the accolades or the success or the clamor get to me. My boys, you know, stayed with me. And, uh, and that was, again, that was about three years ago. And, uh, and today, man, like, uh, you know, I'm healed from that today. You see? Today, now, I'm back to, uh, I'm back to, uh, where I used to be. You know, and I, and through good psychiatry, sometimes we have to go to other things. You know, I'm healing, you know. And I don't know why I told that story this morning, but it's just to let you, just to show you that regardless of our time, you just never know what's going to happen and where it's going to happen. I just don't ever want to become a statistic. I don't ever want to become a guy that said, that they say about, hey, did you hear about Robbie W. from Wildwood? Huh? You mean the dude that does the conventions and conferences? Yeah. He's gone. What do you mean he's gone? He's gone. Like the mob. He's gone. He had to go. I don't want that to happen to me, ladies and gentlemen. And that's why I'm a card-carrying, flag-waving, parade-leading member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I don't hide that. I don't hide my light under a bushel. This is who I am. I don't worry about what you think about me. You know, I dress in a suit for a reason, not to impress you. I dress in a suit, even if I wasn't going to work after this. I dress in a suit to let you know what can happen if you stay sober as a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. It says we show in a general way what it used to be like, what happened and what it's like today. And here's what I can say to you. I was born and raised in a beautiful family, healthy relationships, healthy mom and dad, healthy little sister. Hello. You are looking at the problem and listening to the problem. I was the problem. I was not sexually abused. I was told, I was hugged and I was loved. You know, I went to Catholic school for 12 years. I loved the nuns. I don't care what you tell me. You're recovering Catholic. Not me. I loved it. I loved Sister Joseph Marie. I loved Sister Mary Beth. I loved them all. They were nice to me and I was nice to them. I was good in grade school. I was in the best classes. I played sports. I had friends out the wazoo, David. I grew up in a normal family in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. You know, I grew up playing ball. I wasn't a boy scout or cub scout or any of that crap. I didn't tie knots. I don't know what that means or do sticks in light of fire. But what I did, and camp out with the buddies, whatever. But what I did do is I played sports. You know, I played hockey and I played football and I played basketball and I played hardball and wiffleball and halfball and, you know, stepball. Wireball. You know, I was from Philadelphia. And so I grew up as a normal kid. Normal upbringing. And then what happened? I'm going to tell you what happened. It's in doctor's opinion. What happened to a guy like me? Okay, it's real simple. This ain't about psychiatry. This ain't about finding out, let's find out who you are and why you drank. We don't care. We don't care. Don't get me wrong. We'll listen to you, Scott. You know, you've got to talk about your crazy upbringing. Not you officially. I'm just saying. But we'll listen to your crap. You know, we'll listen to your drunk-a-log and that's all wonderful. But the reality of it is what my doctor's opinion says in my big book, I got it right here, what my big book says is we drank, most of us drank essentially because we liked the effect produced by alcohol. Here's the problem with that statement. It's too simple for us. That's way too simple. It's got to be worse than that. I can't be as bad as I was if it was that simple. Get over it. That's what it was. You liked the effect produced by alcohol. And it's that simple. Okay? And it got so bad that after a while we didn't even know we were being injurious to others. And ourselves. That after a while we couldn't differentiate the truth from the false. That after a while we became full flight from reality. That after a while we became complete mental defectives. This ain't not ringing a bell. It's better. It's in the book. If it's not ringing a bell, you better get a big book and start marking it up. Because your life, I just proved it. At 25 years, I was saved because of this book. Because I knew it was in there. Because I worked a program. Because I hung out with dudes that had a program. That realized that I was real close to suicide. You see? Not drinking. Suicide. I knew what a drink was. Cunning, baffling, and powerful. I knew that. I knew where a drink took me. I knew I couldn't drink. But what happens when life just tase in on you 100%? And I hope it doesn't happen to you. But if it does, I hope you have a plan of action. You know, Bill Wilson in his book talks about some awesome things. The first thing he talks about is the problem. We know the problem, Scott, don't we? Cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us. We know the problem. We know we drink. We get drunk. We go to jail. We go to rehab. We go to a mental hospital. We take medication. Okay? That's what happens when we drink. Okay? That's the problem. What's the solution? I hear all this great thing about solution-based groups. That's the new thing. There's always a new thing going on. I belong to a solution. No offense if you belong to one. That's great. I belong to a solution-based group. What's that mean? That means you've got the solution. That means you make meetings. Okay? That means you have a sponsor. That means you know what's in the book. That's all well and good. I like to step it up a notch. I'll start a new thing called an action-based group. How about that? I belong to an action-based group. See, because I can know what's in here. And I can know what's on page 102. You know? Page 102. We stay on the fire line of life. If we have the right motives, God will keep us unharmed. Woo! That and a $1.69 will get me a cup of coffee at Wawa. That and $4.98 will get me a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Okay? But it will not keep me sober. I've got to take that solution and I've got to apply it to my life. That's why I have a big book cover if you're here in the house. Okay? I've got to apply this stuff to my life. I don't care what you know here. Don't impress me with your knowledge. Bring me to your home and show me what you're doing. Is your grass cut? Is your bills paid? Do you got a job? Huh? You know? Are you helping others? Who are you helping? But I know what's in here. Don't get me wrong. Because it's my life or death. I'm on a life or death earn like it says in the fourth step. I know what's in here. Trust me. And I treasure this thing. I hug it at meetings. I hug it in front of the podium. I don't care. Eighth grade summer I went to a Yes concert. At that Yes concert I was doing shots of Southern Comfort out of the cap, Nina, like you're supposed to. And eating nacho cheese Dorito corn chips. Alright? Hi Rob. Halfway through the night I got drunk. Okay? I got drunk. I'm in the front row with my three buddies. Now at this time I'm hanging out with Bones, Lumpy and Killer. My three boys. Now I'm in the front row of this concert and for the non-alcoholics there's this thing called projectile vomiting. Now I know if you're an alcoholic you know what I'm talking about. It's only when I tell this at an Al-Anon convention they'll be like, oh what's that man? That means you don't know it's coming out. Okay? That means you're so drunk and you're a slob and you don't know when to stop drinking. Okay? If you're a newcomer and you're laughing you belong here. Okay? I know you're still not trying to laugh. I'll get you. Stay with me. Okay? So anyway, I'm drinking and I'm drunk and I'm just drunk. I'm drunk. I can't speak. I'm peeing. You know what I mean? I'm just enjoying the moment. I'm singing, Lena. I'm singing Roundabout. I'll be the roundabout. You know what I mean? The words will make you whoosh. Now I can tell this is an AA event because you guys love that. Usually when I shed it at Al-Anon I got like 742 women and two dudes out in the audience like this. And then when I'm near the end of my talk and I say at this point my mom and dad kicked me out of the house. Applause. Yeah! Woo! Woo! So I projectile vomited on this dude in front of me and I blacked out. Blacked out, man. Blacked out. Woke up to my mom looking over me asking me what was wrong with me. And I didn't know what was wrong with me and I thought she was making fun of me. She put me in the shower, cold shower. Got that stuff from my dad. You know, what's wrong with you? Da-da-da. We didn't raise you like this. You know, you're in Catholic school. You're going to go to Father Judge and you're going to play on the football team and we don't want you to ruin it. Da-da-da. You know, all this stuff, you know. We just talked. We got to talk. We got the first talk. First good talk. My little sister was like, look out of the room. Woo-hoo! You're in trouble. And I got back to the corner and all the guys at the corner were all stoked. You know what I mean? That I was, you know, I got in trouble. But I was a stand-up guy even as a 13-year-old. And that means I didn't write any of them out. You know what I mean? I didn't tell them, well, here's where we got this and here's where we got that. I just, you know, I merked them, you know. And I was a good, you know what I mean? And Jimmy A's like, yeah, I got you, dude. Amen. Typical mob guy. And so anyway, and so one thing leads to another and I, well, that's what happened to me. I fell in love with alcohol. I started a relationship, Scotty. I started a relationship with booze. I started a relationship with the kegs. I started a relationship with any type of drinks that were mixed. Okay? I started anything with booze, I was in. You're in the booze, I like you. You see what I mean? If the booze goes away, later. No offense. It was very obvious. And that's who I am. I'm an alcoholic, Robin. And that's what I am. And that's who I am and that's what I do. And I drink and I drink and I drink and I don't see alcohols in my family. I don't see drug addiction. I don't see dysfunction. I don't see any of it. I don't got no excuses. I see love. I see love coming to me from everybody, from my cousins, from my coaches, from my teachers, from my friends, from my family. But I drink. And what happens when I drink is I get messed up. And I get dysfunctional. Okay? And I get crazy. You see? And I do stupid, crazy things. And I don't know what's going on. Because what happens with booze, it lies to a guy like me. It doesn't tell me the truth. It doesn't allow me to see the truth. There's some denial going on. I'm okay, Jules. You know what I mean? I'm okay. I'm okay. Leave me alone. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Leave me alone. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. Complete! Everybody knew it. And I hung out with drunks. You see what I'm saying? And I went down to Senior Week in Wildwood, New Jersey. And what happened at Senior Week in Wildwood, New Jersey, is that my girlfriend came down with me. I played on the football team, and me, Bones, Lumpy, and Carol all played ball, and we had girlfriends. And all the girlfriends were cheerleaders, right? And one thing led to another, and I go to Barbie. At the time, I went out with a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Barbie. She was a cheerleader. And I'll never forget the first night I knocked on her door. In Wildwood, New Jersey. Oddly enough, that's where I live today. And she said, come on in. And I went in. I got my hat on backwards, Jules. You know what I mean? Like Scotty. It's like the first day without a hat on backwards. Dude, you're getting better. And, like, I'm there with my hat on backwards. I got my Walkman on. I got my cassette and my Walkman, David P. You know what I mean? I'm listening to ACDC, Jules, on a highway. You know what I mean? And I'm just. I'm jamming. You know what I mean? I got my long hair. You know, like a long hair, like Kid Rock. You know, my long hair running back and forth, man. I feel good. And she looked at me, and she said, sit down. Now, all you ladies can help me with what she said afterwards, because I know you know it. Here's what she said. She said, Robbie, you drink too much for me. I'm going to have to go in a different direction. I hate all you ladies from LBI that knew that answer. And that's what she said. I'm going to go in a different direction. Now, what that means, Scotty, you and I know what that means. She's breaking up with us. You know what I'm saying? And so I know what that means. And so, like, but I like her. She's gorgeous. She's cute. She's a cheerleader. You know what I mean? You know, we ain't going all the way. We ain't going all the way yet. I thought senior week, it might happen. You feel me? I'm sorry. I'm just saying. Honest program. White candy coated. It's going to be a big week for me. Here she breaks up with me. I'm thinking all these great things I could say to her, but I'm an alcoholic, Jimmy. And what that means is I don't figure it out. You know what I mean? All I hear is that you can't drink this week. And I'm there to drink. I'm in senior week and while we're in New Jersey to drink. And I said, okay, baby, have a good day. And I went back to Bones, Lumpy, and Keller, and they were excited that I could, that I, you know, she had broke up with me. They were excited that they had Weasel. That was my nickname. To drink with them again. Did anybody ever see a cute Weasel? I don't think so. I didn't like that nickname ever. You know. So I started drinking. Got home from senior week. Got a job at a bank. I got a job at a federal depository. I got accepted at a university called Temple University in Broad and Columbia. Oh, my only job was to get A's and B's and they were going to pay for it. I had a great education and dude was smart. Dude was smart. From my mom. My mom's smart. I got it from her. It's called heredity or some stuff like that. You know what I mean? So I was smart. You know, good classes. Had the keys of the kingdom once again. And everything went great for like two business days. Okay? That's the truth, man. That's not supposed to be funny. You guys are sick. We started going over across the street to this tap room to drink. Okay? And we were drinking at Froggy's every night. I loved drinking. I was drinking with the girls. With the bank teller girls. I was in love with every one of them. You know? And I just love life and I'm 18 years old. Hormones are racing. I love... I'm putting it on. I swear I'd pull... Pull the... All like this. At 8 o'clock they would leave and I'm like, See you later. I don't care where you go. I'm hanging with the boys. You know what I mean? I'm playing shuffleboard and darts and pool and... And... Puking and peeing where I'm not supposed to. I'm into it. I'm a drinker. I'm going to... I'm on the L on the subway. I go to meetings now in Kensington and South Philadelphia. I feel comfortable. Because that's where I used to drink and party. And I'm on the L and I'm puking and I'm peeing. And I'm just feeling good. And then I get home and my mom looks at me. And I get that crap. Again, what's wrong with you? You know, you're... I'm ashamed of you. Now you start hearing that. What's wrong with you? You know, and I have this outfit on at the bank. But it would be all messed up and soiled. And that's what I started becoming. It says an alcoholic in his or her cup is an unlovely creature. And I started becoming an unlovely creature and I didn't know it. And at the bank I started giving myself gradual raises. Okay? And that's not a good thing. Those gradual raises pretty much have to come from the boss. Okay? Straight up. Okay? But I'm stealing from the bank. You know? I'm stealing from the bank. And it's just that simple. Why? So I can drink. So I can get more booze. So I can get drunk. And that's the story. And one day I show up at work and there's two dudes from the FBI there. Now I told you I was 18 years old. I told you I'd hair like Kid Rock. Okay? I got a slightly athletic build because I played football. You got to work out with the football team. Whitey Sullivan was my head coach. You had to work out. So... And I got these ice blue eyes. See, that's real good for girls in high school. That's real bad for big dudes with tattoos in prison. That's not supposed to be funny, people. Okay? And I went to jail. I went to the joint, Jules. And I'm 18 years old. Blue eyes goes to jail. And I can tell you it says in here... And here's where I'm going to grasp this concept. We share in a general way what it used to be like. Because in a general way, it was horrific. I got a couple of friends in the room that know what I'm saying. It was horrific. It was a horrific year. Things happen to me that shouldn't happen to a young man. But they did. And I was scared to death for my life. Almost every day I was in this joint when I was down for a year. What do you think I did the first night out? You darn tootin' I did. I drank. I drank like a pig. I drank like a scumbag that I am from Philadelphia. And I'm telling you, I am telling you as I stand here today on August... 31st of 2013. On a Saturday morning at 9, 10 in the morning. I am telling you as I live and breathe. Okay? I did not know I had a problem. I did not know I was an alcoholic. I don't care. You could have told me until I was blue in the face that I got to stop drinking. And there's something wrong with you. Get out of my way. You know, ludicrous. Boo. Get out the way. Get out the way. And that's who I was. Get out my way. Get out my way. Get out my way. Because I'm drinking. And it's just that simple. I'm drinking. Leave me alone. And I started having that anger and that rage. You know what I mean? And I'm on the streets. And I'm on the streets of Philadelphia and Kensington. I love going to meetings there. Because I was in those bad lands. And I know what it's like to rob cars. I know what it's like to steal cars. I know what it's like to boost from stores. I know what it's like to go through roofs. And cut stuff. And take stuff. And run out. The big thing back then was VCRs. You know? Whatever. They didn't even have computers back then. But, you know. We stole what we could steal. Big TVs. You know? Whatever. You know, with the big panels on the back. They were heavy. And that's who I was. And why? So I'd get some money to drink. I'm not a thief. I wasn't raised by the Catholic nuns to do that. I wasn't raised by the oblige of St. Francis de Sales in high school to act like that. I was raised to be a good Christian boy. I was raised to help others. I was raised to be a disciple among men. And instead. I became a prisoner of alcohol. And that's who I was. And that's who I still can be. Unless I adopt these set of principles. As it says in the end of the first step. That it's laid out in this book. In the 12 and 12. You know, who cares to make complete defeat? Who cares to sacrifice time and energy for the still suffering alcohol? You know? I just closed my eyes. And I'm telling you. You know, when you are sharing from the heart. And when you are sharing a message. That's supposed to be shared. And you close your eyes. I'm telling you. I open up and it's like something just happened. I just had a spiritual experience right here. And I'm telling you there's nothing like that. And I am telling you today. That's what I got to do. You know, I got to sacrifice time and energy for the still suffering alcohol. You know, I got to make reparations for harms done. I got to make amends. I got to say. I got to do more than say I'm sorry. I got to set the wrong right. You know? I got to sit with a sponsor and tell them everything I've done. There are men in this world. That know everything. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. There are men in this world. Scotty, you'll be the next one. We're going to hang out for a week, brother. You know we're going to know each other by the end of that week. You know, we've been two ships passing most of the time. And we're going to get it to dock together for a week. That's amazing. I can't wait. I was lost. I was broken. I was beaten and battered by alcoholism. And I was in jails and prisons and rehabs and mental hospitals. And that's my story. And I'm supposed to become a statistic, Lena. I'm supposed to become a 21-year-old statistic. I'm supposed to be a kid that dies in jail or prison or gets suicide or gets raped and beaten. Or I kill myself because I can't handle what I'm turning into or what these men are trying to turn me into. I'm supposed to die from disease of alcoholism. It wouldn't have said that in the paper. And my poor parents probably wouldn't have went to my funeral away because I'd have been too ugly. However, I took myself out. God had different plans. God had different plans for a guy like me. I'm so glad my message has turned into one about alcoholism. It's about God and not about me. Every once in a while I hear a speaker and it's all about them. And ladies and gentlemen, it's not about the glory of Rob W. I don't care if you know my name. When I get asked to speak at conventions, a lot of times the guy will say, Dude, it took me like three months to find you. I say, Good. I don't want to be anybody in alcoholics. I want to be a good father to my daughter. I want to be a good employee to my employer. My mom's at my house right now. While we're in New Jersey. I was able to go out and get her diet code. And all the stuff that she likes. The eggs that she likes. And bagels and cream cheese that she likes. And she's at my house. She's at my house. She's got her own room right now. You know, when I got home late from my meeting last night, I was all amped up on some monsters that my boy Brian brought me. And we played Scrabble. My mom said to me, She said, I'll never forget when you were at the car dealership. My first job. And she said, and daddy said, Your father never gave up on you. And she said, I remember when daddy went to the dealership. And he came back and gave me a report. And he said, you're not going to believe our son. Alcohol, it's anonymous. You see, not out there. They're dying. Not out there. They are dying. You know, I've got to bust through those lines. I've got to bust through that fellowship. And I've got to come right here where the miracles happen. I've got to come right here and get my heart transformed. I've got to come right here and hear the solution. I've got to come right here and see you struggling. I've got to come right here and hear you're having a hard time. You're having great times. I've got to come here and hear you met the best woman in your life. I've got to come here and hear you met the best man in your life. I've got to come here and hear you're going to go through a divorce. I've got to come here and hear somebody committed suicide. I've got to come here and hear the truth. Not out there. They're dying. Right out there. Turn around. Look at them. They're dying. Right outside the door. Dr. Sam Shoemaker talks about it. Reverend Sam talks about it. Where are they dying? Outside the door. Outside the door. Oh, it's a good cigarette probably. But outside the door. The door to what? The door to God's kingdom. He's inside here. He's inside these rooms. And he says, come to me, you eater, heavy laden, and bring me your burdens, and I will give you rest. And I believe that with all my heart and soul. I believe I found God here in Alcoholics and I'm just through you people, through your eyes, through your love, through your diners. I've been to so many diners, it's scary. I got diner sobriety, man. Yeah, give me another coffee. Why? I'm 30. Decaf? No! I went caffeinated. It's the end of the pot. Good! Fire me up, man. Bring another sugar thing over. Woo! We're sober! That's who I am. I'm okay with that. I'll be honest. I got clubhouse sobriety. I've been, I hung out at a clubhouse for 12 years. I'm still here. Every day I was at that clubhouse. Every day I was making coffee. Every day I was helping. You see? And now I'm still here with 29 years of sobriety. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still hanging. I'm still going. So what happened? Where did the transformation happen? It says we got to share a journey away. What happened? What happened? I couldn't go on any longer. These alcoholics came to my prisons and my rehabs and my mental health. You people, raise your hand if you carried a message into institutions. Raise your hand. See the hands go up? Look around. Get that hand up. I only got seven days. So what? Go! Find a group that has, find an action-backed, not a solution-based group. Find an action-based group. Find a group. A group that goes to prisons and rehabs and mental hospitals and get on the list. Find a guy like Scotty Flimson and go to a meeting in Wildwood, New Jersey from Bristol. Do whatever. Hang out with Robbie, Robin back there and Jules and go over the world. And carry this message of hope. You know, hang out with Jimmy and Mary Beth or Scotty. Look at that row right there. Watch out. Because they're on fire. Go to their roundup. You want to meet some people. You want to get fired up. Oh, maybe not. I don't know if I can get off that weekend. Get off that weekend! If I had a cake party going on with all that stuff I used to have, you'd have made it. Stop it. You know, you know, you know, go all in. You feel me? Go all in. You know, usually I go to conventions and conference and I get to speak and I'm always a Friday night guy. I wonder why. I'm like the dude, man. Football's coming up. I'm a football guy. I'm like the dude. I'm the wedge breaker. Any of us have played football. I'm the one or two guys. We go down and we break the wedge. What's the wedge? The wedge is that wedge in front of the running back. And we've got to go down and just break it, Scotty. We've got to throw our bodies on the wedge and break it up so my boys can come in and tackle that dude. You see? And that's what I try to do in Alcoholics Anonymous. When I start something out, like I'm starting this thing out this morning, my job is just to break the wedge. Break the wedge of indifference. Break the wedge if you're just like one of those people that haven't come out in your show yet. Break that wedge. Be all you can be. Break that wedge. Don't worry about what people think about you. Don't be a people pleaser but be a God pleaser. When you get to bed tonight, know that you've done everything you can to be you, whatever your name is, not anybody else. You see, we were talking about sponsorship lineages and all that stuff. And I've looked at all of them and I know who they are. I know the Clancy's, you know, and I know the Sandy B's, you see? And I know the Bob D's. And I know all these speakers that go around. Tom, I know you. And Pete, I've seen all of those. I do listen to all your texts. I know państire you. I've seen what do they say. You dig up kickers for me. I've seen them go out on the streets and I've seenmany others, okay? I've seen one of them, Kurt. I've seen one of them get out fit out of bed. I've seen, I earth to R forget. One of them live with you. That's funny and what did she do with you horse? She's got a little gal in her manor. Girl, you're terrible. There's a little crazy other one. The last night, you churchuit was smoking grave I've heard their talks. And Mary. And Polly P. Oh. And I meet these people in life. And you know, some people become friends. And some people, you know, go in this heart. And they pull your heart out. And they start misogynist. And they start giving you hope. They start giving you hope. And when I was a kid early on in AAD, I didn't have no hope. And I hated myself so much. I didn't have my family. The only thing I had was convictions. And I hated myself. And I wanted to be somebody. But I didn't know how. And they said, come and sit in the front row. Raise your hand. Get active. Make coffee. Run these things. You know, I remember coming to my first young people's conference. And you know what my job was? To park cars on Saturday night to dance. And I've got to be honest with you. I wasn't there to do that. I was there to meet Mary Beth and Joanne and Robin and, you know, Jules. You see? But God said, I've got different plans for you. Park cars. And I'd park cars. And I'd meet people that way. And I got active. And then I became a secretary. And then I became the, well, they never made me the treasurer because I robbed from a bank. But then I became, I've never been a, I'm not a good treasurer. Trust me. They don't let me mess with money. And that's okay. And then I became a chairman of these young people's. And I got speakers. And I just had a blast. And I've been doing stuff like that ever since. So I finally looked up in the heavens on October 31st of 1983. And I said, dear God, please help me. The A.A. Entry Prayer. Some of you guys know that one, right? We've all done that. Dear God, please help. Please help me. Because you guys came into my institution and talked about A.A. A.A. All these teeth. Big buck. A.A. Hated them. Hated them. I hated them, Lena. I didn't like the A.A. people that came to my prison. They were happy, joyous, and free. Ugh! I was irritable, restless, and discontented. And I couldn't look like I wanted this, David. Not in prison. You've got to be cool. Sit in the back. You know, smoke hanging out your mouth. Unshaven. You know what I mean, Scotty? And that's who I was. But God would bring these A.A. members, these A.A. angels. You call them what you want. I call them angels. I have some friends that believe in angels. So do I. I believe there's angels amongst us. I believe there's angels in this room. And I think our only job is to tap into them. Our only job is to believe. You know, I'm in my car a lot with sponsees. My Jeep. My Jeep Wrangler. And we're driving to meetings now. You know, I hear one of my sponsees in the back. Yo, dude! You ain't gonna believe this! Da-da-da-da-da-da! I'm like, I believe! Now the sponsee's like, Yo, dude! You ain't gonna believe this! And we finally got lucky or whatever. You ain't gonna believe this! You know? I'm like, dude, I believe. I told you it would happen. You know, he's only got 18 years finally. But, you know, and you don't quit until the miracle happens. You know, you keep coming back. You keep on applying for jobs. And I got sober. I got the alcohol synonymous. And I came here and my scorecards read zero. And I was on step zero! That's it. Not one, two, three. Zero! Zero! Zero! I'm not drinking. I'm going to meetings. What's your name? I'm not telling you. It's anonymous. See that tradition? Anonymity! Going to a meeting tomorrow? Yeah! I usually do it when it's water, but this is coffee. I was shaking. I gotta go to work. You know, I was shaking, man. Shaking. Rattling and rolling. From booze. From John Barleycorn. Not from my inner child. Not because I was... beaten by my mom or dad. Not because I was sexually abused. But I was shaking because alcohol was in my system and I can't break it down properly, Joe and Charlie tells me. And I'm full flight from reality. And I come here and you people say we got a solution. I come here and you people say we got a plan of action. I come here and you people say I got a program. They didn't say just don't drink and go to meetings. Get away from me with that message. Stay. Do you hear that? It's a CD. You're listening to a CD. If you're one of those people that say just don't drink and go to meetings, stay away from my new guys. Stay away from all my friends. Because you will kill them. Stay away from my people. Because my people don't believe in that. My people believe that's untreated alcoholism. I don't care if you're sitting in the front row or not. See I gotta come here and I gotta get a program. I gotta get a big book and I gotta go to these round ups. And I gotta meet these people. I gotta go to these... These four speakers are today. We're gonna go to these... I'm gonna go to these guys. Later on I'm gonna take you through... You know, trust God, clean house and help others. I'll be at my work but I'll be thinking about this. You know? I'll be stoked about it. Just knowing that God's gonna be working in this room. Stoked! You know, I'm like that. Anybody, anybody ever follow the Philadelphia Eagles? Raise your hand. Anybody here for good? Because I told this recently in South Dakota and they didn't get it. I'm like Brian Dawkins. Now I'm a season ticket holder for the Philadelphia Eagles. Brian Dawkins was number 20. Now bear with me if you're listening to this CD. Because I'm gonna walk around a little bit. But here's what Brian Dawkins did. He was on defense. And the offense would be over there. And he'd be walking around like this. Just looking at them. Trying to intimidate them. Come on! Call play! Call play because I'm gonna hit somebody. Well that's how I get in Alcoholics Anonymous, Lena. I get stoked. I was up there before the meeting, you know what I mean? I'm like, come on, let me up there, you know? I want to bring God into this. You don't got a God yet. I know you don't like me. That's okay. Sit there and feel uncomfortable. Because He's out there. And He wants to get to know you. I know He does. I know He does. 53. God either is or He isn't. What is your choice? He is. I'm in. Simple for a guy like me. I'm a simple alcoholic. I keep this real simple. A, B's and C's. Three months of sobriety had kicked me out of this club. Because I was crazy, man. They kicked me out of this club. I was crazy, Lena. They kicked me out. Three months of sobriety sat me down, Scotty. And they said, dude, we had a busy meeting last night and you've got to go. You've got to go. We're not going to go. We don't care. Don't leave me in. Just leave. And I walked out of that club room and I sat on the front porch, Mary Beth A. And I was crying. And I didn't know if I was going to drink, okay? Drink or kill myself. Scotty. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know what I was going to do. A, Angel, number one. Don C. comes out of the club room. He's a pig farmer in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I'm not sure how I got there. It's another story. And he's told me to get in his truck. And I got in his truck. And he took me home with him. And back then I thought it was like Children of the Corn, like I was going to get cut up. I was waiting for his kids to have things come out their forehead. I'm an alcoholic. I have a crazy imagination. I'm going to get cut up. I'm going to get killed. I'm going to get killed. I'm going to get killed. And I'm going to get killed. I have an imagination, you know? He and his wife were like Jimmy and Mary Beth. Three months I was a bride and I hated myself. And the group didn't want me anymore. Nobody wanted me. Love and tolerance of others. And I was a bad dude. I'm not saying I didn't belong. I was a bad dude. I didn't know how to act, David. You notice I didn't curse yet? Because I don't have to. a new way of life. I couldn't stop then. And Don told Rhonda about me. There were two boys, Brian and Dallas, and Rhonda looked at me with the best al-anon she could do and she said, do you mean business, son? And I lost it. Once again, I just said, yeah, I don't want to drink. I don't want to drug. I want what you guys got, but I don't know how to do it. And this dude would take me out in his backyard every night, A.A. Angel, and he'd just tell me that, you know, it's going to be better. I thought he was going to push me off the cliff and stuff. And I would be praying. And he would just, I remember him putting his, he put his arm around my shoulder and I didn't like men touching me for certain reasons. It's not a joke. And I was so scared. And this man, he would just tell me, he would just say, it's going to be okay. And I believed him. I can't tell you why I believed him, Lena, but I believed him. And I don't know why I'm so emotional today, but I am and it's okay. I got sober. I had a year of sobriety. I worked a night step and I turned myself into the authorities of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and I got another year inside a prison in Philadelphia. And I did that year, stayed it on my head. No man messed with me. I had angels, all around me. Psalm 23. Yeah, I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. God kept me unharmed. No man ever touched me again from that moment to this moment. No one's ever hurt me. And I'll tell you what, man, like I started doing God's work and I promised, and he promised me. He said, you do my work and no one will ever hurt you again. No one can hurt you. Anybody ever see The Incredibles? I got a little girl. The Incredibles? Yeah, man. Like Mr. Incredible, you know, and he had his wife like Elastigirl. You know, Elastigirl. Well, the one little girl, she could put this force field around me. The little girl. And God has put a force field around me, people. God has put a force field around me and you can't get in. Are you an irritable, restless, and discontented member of Alcoholics Anonymous? Save your time with me. You're not getting in. I ain't got time for your BS. I ain't got time for your smoking. I ain't got time for your smoking and your joking. I ain't got time for your 13-stepping. I ain't got time for your gossip and rumors. I'm here to stay sober. I'm here to do the work. I'm here to walk hand in hand into the fellowship of the Spirit, in the sunlight of the Spirit. I'm here to help others and that's who I am and that's what I am. And if you don't like me, so what? Don't like me. That's okay. Because God loves me. And God loves you. And that's my message this morning. Boy, I'm on it. I'm just crazy. And that's okay. I don't usually get like this. It said, you know, rock on, I think, was the topic. 925. Got about five to seven minutes before I wrap this up. And I think I gave you guys enough. I don't know why. Today wasn't a big drunk-a-log and it just wasn't. You know, God was in my heart and wanted me to talk about my divorce and get that out. You know, God wanted me to talk about that I'm an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous. God wanted me to talk about that I was a broken man. Broken man. Young man. That was supposed to die. And He puts people in my life today that I love. He puts people in my life today that would go a million miles with me. He puts people in my life today that will go to diners with me and hang out with me. And they don't care who I am or what I am. They just know that I, you know, I'm okay. You don't have to like me. But I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous in good standing. You see? I sit up front and I do the work. And I'm an active member. You know, again, not about people pleasing but about God pleasing. And I want to please Him in all I do. And with this story. Because I think we had enough. I don't know why. I just think we've had enough. And with the story about this auctioneer. And there was this big auction, ladies and gentlemen. And it was a high dollar auction in like Stone Harbor. You know what I mean? And it was a high dollar auction. And they were auctioning off thousands and thousands of dollars worth of stuff and cars and this and that. And near the end of the auction there was one thing left on the stage and it was an old violin. And the auctioneer picked it up. Dust came all over. Who will bid for this? From the back, some guy sarcastically said, I'll give you a dollar. Up a little closer, another guy yells out, I'll give you two dollars. And the auctioneer is ready to go. Everybody's getting ready. You know how at the end of a meeting people are putting their stuff on and getting ready and looking at their text. It's supposed to be a joke. And finally, the third guy in the front where David's sitting says, I'll give you three dollars. And the auctioneer wants to go home too. Just like some chair people. It's a shame. I'd stay in meetings forever if you let me. You know what I mean? I want to go. Come on, let's go. Let's get this thing over with. Really? Come on, we've got to have some other contention to talk about. You know, love business meetings. And all of a sudden the auctioneer said, three dollars going once. Three dollars going twice. Three dollars going. But hold on. A gray-haired old man in the back of the room, Scott, he stood up and said, hold on. That's my violin. Hold on. And he walked to the front of the room, Lena. And he took off a beautiful dust rag and he dusted it all down. Took off all the dust. And then all of a sudden he took the strings and he started tightening them. He started tightening each one. It took a while. People like we do at Alcoholism, we start getting fidgety. Huh? Start getting fidgety, look around, he's done. And all of a sudden, nobody even knew there was a bow. He went under the table and got the bow. And he started playing a song so melodious. It was as if angels were caroling. And the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole thing was and the whole room, it became a hush. The owner of the violin put it down and walked back to the room. You could see him walking in his proudness. The auctioneer held that beautiful violin back up with the bow and said, Now, ladies and gentlemen, who will do the bidding? From the back, that one sarcastic man seeing the change said, I'll give you a thousand dollars. That man up in front said, I'll give you two thousand. And finally, the guy sitting over there where David says, says, I'll give you three thousand dollars. The auctioneer said, Going once, going twice, sold. And the crowd was amazed. And what had happened? And I think we all know what happened. And it was a touch of the master's hand. The master grabbed that violin and just like he does with us, he cleans us up a little bit. He roughs, he, you know, he smooths out the rough edges. Huh? You know? And all of a sudden, he tightened up the strings just like God does with us. We stop cursing. We stop talking about all that crazy stuff. We start looking at the opposite sex as children of God. And we start treating them properly. Huh? We start, you know, and he starts tightening up our strings and we start acting differently. We start being good people. Huh? What can we give? How can we add to the stream of life? Right? And so we know what happened. It was a touch of the master's hand. So I say to you this morning, don't be afraid to allow the master's hand to come to you. Don't be afraid to allow the master's hand to come to you. Don't be afraid to allow the master's hand to come to you. Don't be afraid to allow the master's hand to touch your life. Whew. I am so grateful. I'm just so grateful that he has changed me. He has changed me from a sick, deranged little kid from Philadelphia running the streets and hurting people and stealing and robbing and hoarding and then getting caught up in this disease of malady of alcoholism where I want to kill myself and I'm being abused by people. Huh? And abusing myself and fights and lock-ups and I didn't tell you it wasn't drunk-a-lock day. I don't know why. But hurry up and believe I've been through it all. And today, September 8th, next week, next Sunday, not this Sunday, next Sunday, I'm going to have 25 years on the job. 25 years ago, on September 8th of 1988, I went to this car dealership. Just coming up on the hour, about 58 minutes. I went, if you're a speaker, man, know how long I spoke. We don't want to, we love your story, but we don't want to hear it for 87 minutes. But anyway, just a point of information. I went to this car dealership, David, because they were looking for waxers. And I could, Duke can wax a floor. I learned how to do that in prison. And I went to wax, but I went to, because my sponsor said the night before at the 12th step house, he said, go to Family Dollar and get a shirt and a tie. And I went to Family Dollar, Scotty, and I got a shirt and tie. And I went to this dealership and I told them I was here to apply for the wax dealership. And I said, wax job. And he looked at me. He got all his managers to come in and talk to me. Here they started interviewing me for sales jobs. He said, did you ever sell anything? Sure did. I mean, most people didn't know I sold. And I had to tell him the truth. I said, sir, I'm a three-time convicted felon. I robbed a bank. I did a burglary. And I took a vehicle from Frankfurt and Cotman to Roger Wilco, and that's called Grand Theft Auto in New Jersey. And he says, oh, great. Typical hiring at a car dealership. Typical hiring at a car dealership. Had all his, he had all his managers come in. This is my story. Had all his managers come in and interviewed me. He comes back in. Now I'm praying. I'm honest and I'm praying. Honest and praying. That's what they told me to do. Honest, praying, faith, love, hope. Honest praying. Forty-half years of sobriety. I was working at Burger King, dudes. You know, flipping burgers. You know, salt, shake it, turn it. I'm going to put a spatula on this manager's head. I wasn't doing good. The owner of the dealership came back into the office and he sat down and I'm shaking a little bit. Four and a half years sober. And he says, this is really weird. Everybody says I shouldn't hire you. But something's going on here. I know what's going on. I'm praying like a mofo. You feel me? I'm praying. I'm praying hard. I'm praying hard. On my knees, praying hard. You know, with the knees out of the jeans. I'm praying hard, people. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And I know that's not true. And this is my chance because I'm a smart dude. And I want to wear a suit. I don't know why. It's who I am. I don't know how to fix stuff. I can't even fix a chair if it goes bad. I'm just saying. But I love people. And I wanted to be around God's kids. And he said, I'm going to hire you. And that was 25 years ago. And I thought, oh, wow. What shift? I figured I'm going to come in at about eight when he closed the dealership up. He said, I'm going to give you an office. See, Tom I. from Southern Pine, North Carolina, my hero. My hero says, when there's work to be done in Alcoholics Anonymous, the walls will come down. He shared that in Toronto at the podium on Sunday morning for me. I don't know if any of you were there, but he shared it for me. And Lena, from that moment to this moment, I'm still with that dealership. I don't steal from him. I don't rob from him. I do his commercials. I'm known in the community. Everybody in the community knows me. I always wanted that. All I'm going to say to you people this morning is David, thanks for having me. All I'm going to say to Alcoholics Anonymous people that are here this morning, thank you so much. Thank you so much for what you do in AA. Thank you for coming into my heart if you're listening to this CD and you know who you are and changing me. And if you're sitting here and you don't think you can help somebody, think again. Just your attitude. Just your service. Just your love. Just love. Just love people. Just love them. They may not like you. They may make fun of you. I'm made fun of all the time. My friends know. That bothers me to this day. And God says, it's okay, my son. Be made fun of. Be made fun of. And keep doing my work. Don't you change for nobody. And you keep being a child of God. And that's my message to you. Don't change. Unless you need to. Unless you're sitting here and AA ain't the most important thing in your life. If you're not plugged in and this ain't the most important thing in your life, you better change. The touch of the Master's hand. He has touched me and I'll be changed. I'll be forever grateful. I hope he touches you as well. Thank you. .