Broken Brain Trying to Fix a Broken Brain — That’s the Family Disease Nobody Warned Me About – Mike S.

About This Speaker Tape

Mike S. shares his story at the 2018 Al-Anon/Alateen convention in Phoenix, describing a decade of living with his wife Jennifer's progressive alcoholism. He traces the arc from early denial through increasingly desperate attempts to control her drinking — making rules that never lasted 24 hours, clearing the house of bottles, convincing her to get a CAT scan because he could not accept she was simply drinking, and covering for her absences at work by inventing car accidents. He describes how fear, image management, and isolation consumed him as he lost friends, hobbies, and any semblance of peace.

After accompanying Jennifer to her first AA meeting — where he immediately broke her anonymity by pointing her out to a friend at the door — Mike spent months as her self-appointed life coach, monitoring her meeting attendance and even calling her sponsor April to report on Jennifer's drinking. After about seven such calls, April finally got through to him with one question: have you ever heard of Al-Anon? He resisted, insisting he had only one problem and it was someone else's drinking.

Mike eventually called the man April recommended, who told him two things that stuck: if you find a meeting tonight, I will go with you, and today I am grateful to be married to an alcoholic. That phone call on July 22, 2008 became Mike's Al-Anon birthday. His sponsor held him strictly accountable — hanging up when Mike called two minutes late, insisting they start at Step One despite Mike claiming he was already on Step Four, and refusing to debate or negotiate. Through that rigorous sponsorship, Mike began learning to mind his own business, let go of controlling others, and confront his own spiritual emptiness.

Years later, Mike's son also developed alcoholism, bringing fresh terror and a deeper test of everything he had learned. At the time of this talk, his son is 25 and has just picked up a one-year sobriety chip, which he gave to Mike. Mike closes by expressing gratitude for Al-Anon, his sponsors, and the fellowship that carried him through the darkest seasons of his life — and by acknowledging he still has rough edges, but today he has a life worth living.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opens with the dishwasher story — rearranging it nightly, then standing next to wife while she loaded it
• 3:00 Describes wife's drinking progression from fun to fun with problems to just problems
• 7:00 Making rules — drink only on weekends, then only after kids go to bed — neither lasting 24 hours
• 12:00 Convincing Jennifer to get a CAT scan because he refused to believe it was just alcohol
• 17:00 Covering for Jennifer at work — telling her boss she was in a bad car accident
• 22:00 First AA meeting — breaking Jennifer's anonymity to his friend Jim at the door
• 28:00 Calling April seven nights in a row and finally asking what Al-Anon is
• 34:00 Sponsor hangs up on him for calling two minutes late — learning accountability means 5:45 is 5:45
• 40:00 Driving to check if Jennifer's car is at the meeting — sponsor tells him to go home and hit his knees
• 48:00 Son picks up a one-year chip at 25 and gives it to Mike — fire department story about how close they came to losing him