Boy, You Seem to Be Suffering from Malnutrition Between the Ears — You Need Some Soul Food – Dennis N.

About This Speaker Tape

Dennis N. shares his story at the 42nd Georgia State Convention in Albany, Georgia, with roughly fourteen years of sobriety dating from February 1, 1981. He grew up on a cotton farm in Cleveland County, North Carolina, the third of seven children, always feeling inferior — too tall, thick glasses, lopsided haircuts from his father's dull clippers, and a deep sense of not fitting in. He discovered alcohol as a teenager in his grandfather's corn crib with his best friend Kel, and from that first drink he felt everything snap into place — the glasses, the haircut, the confidence he had never owned.

His drinking accelerated through high school, where he dropped from a college preparatory track to barely graduating, and then through eight years in the Army including Vietnam and a stint as a drill sergeant. He accumulated five DWIs without a single conviction, married Libra, and drank his way through the birth of his children, a house in Oklahoma he nearly lost to foreclosure, and a blackout that left him driving through a wheat field with no memory of spending his savings. By 1979 he was financially, spiritually, and mentally bankrupt.

His turning point came after a Thanksgiving blowout in 1980 when Big Dan W., his wife's uncle who had gotten sober in AA, called him unsolicited. Dan connected him with a counselor named James, who handed Dennis the Big Book. Dennis tried to stay sober on his own for 81 days, sponsoring himself in the rearview mirror, before relapsing and ending up 140 miles from home. He came back to his home group on February 1, 1981, and the old-timers on the back row — led by his first sponsor A.D. — taught him to pray, work the steps, and follow instructions from someone who could stay sober.

Fourteen years later, Dennis describes a transformed life: his marriage to Libra is the best it has ever been, his daughter Michelle is in college, his son Dennis Jr. works at UPS with a wife and three granddaughters, and Dennis himself works professionally with alcoholics and their families. He closes by reflecting that AA is Higher Power's answer not just to his alcohol problem but to his living problem, and that he has sometimes sat in the middle of the solution complaining about the problem.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Dennis introduces himself, thanks the convention committee, jokes about eating the hotel goody basket
• 3:00 Describes the old-timers on the back row with elastic suspenders and polyester pants who would wake up when he said something dumb
• 6:00 First sponsor A.D. diagnoses him with malnutrition between the ears and prescribes soul food
• 10:00 Childhood on the cotton farm — welfare glasses, bootleg haircuts from dad's dull clippers, crooked parts
• 17:00 Learning to manipulate in Sunday school while dad watched with fast frog-tongue arms
• 22:00 First drink with friend Kel in grandfather's corn crib — the democratic process votes unanimously to drink
• 30:00 High school decline — college prep to vocational to general, drinking wine on Fridays, four people confront him about alcoholism
• 38:00 Army years, drill sergeant, five DWIs, marriage falling apart, Oklahoma house foreclosure and first blackout
• 48:00 Big Dan calls unsolicited after Thanksgiving 1980 blowout, connects Dennis to counselor James and the Big Book
• 55:00 Returns to AA February 1, 1981 after 81-day self-sponsored relapse; old-timers teach him prayer, steps, and following instructions