The Difference Between an Agnostic and an Ignoramus – John W.

About This Speaker Tape

September 1972: a car ride to a first meeting where John W. desperately wanted his friend to pull over at the nearest bar. He arrived as a man of excuses, viewing alcoholics as derelicts in brown bags and high-heeled sneakers, convinced he was too smart for the full twelve steps. For two years, he stayed sober on the "power of the pack," treating the program as a temporary fix. He believed he could re-educate his habits and return to drinking like a gentleman.

The crash was absolute. He describes a three-month descent into a vodka-fueled hell, ending with him bawling like a baby in his bedroom. He admits he was "put together on a Friday afternoon on the assembly line" with loose nuts and bolts, using alcohol as a tool chest to tighten himself up. Only after a total surrender to his Higher Power and the guidance of a sponsor did he stop justifying the stupidity of his actions and find a way to live in harmony.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 John W. opens with nerves and a nod to the organizers at Banner Lodge.
• 10:15 Recounts the first meeting in 1972 and the shock of seeing alcoholics who didn't look like 'brown bag' stereotypes.
• 18:40 The 'distance' delusion: John W. attempts to return to drinking after two years of sobriety.
• 25:10 The bottom: bawling like a baby in the bedroom with a bottle of vodka in his hand.
• 28:30 Meeting Wesley B. at the post office and the start of a Big Book-centered sponsorship.
• 34:15 Detailed discussion of the Doctor's Opinion and the physical allergy to alcohol.
• 42:00 The 'Friday afternoon assembly line' metaphor for the alcoholic's internal condition.
• 50:10 Discussion of the 12 Traditions and applying them at the 'eye level' for personal harmony.
• 56:45 Laughter: The 'coffee chairman' joke and the reality of service work.
• 62:20 The 'ignoramus' story and his transition from agnosticism to faith in a Higher Power.