A Material Solution to a Spiritual Problem – Hector E.

About This Speaker Tape

Dirt floors in Argentina, a mother who chained him to a sewing machine, and a father who chased the family with knives. Hector E. spent his youth fleeing a violent, illiterate childhood for the glass and steel of New York. He chased a material solution to a spiritual problem, donning Brooks Brothers suits and chasing the high of the American dream. He became a successful actor, but the fame was a mask for a "huge ball of fear" and a deep-seated hatred of himself.

Between suicide attempts and a disastrous film set where he shot himself in the leg, Hector found a Higher Power through the steps. He describes the process as cleaning the channel so the light can shine through. He moved from the "Mormon bars" of his imagination to a reality where he forgave his parents—one who warmed bricks for his feet and another who, in a small Syrian village, beamed with pride to show off his son to the blind and the beggars.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and early childhood in Argentina.
• 4:15 Arrival in New York and the desire to be a 'WASP'.
• 8:30 Laughter: The 'Mormon Bar' and the first experience with a shot glass.
• 13:45 First suicide attempt and the 'horizontal line' of peace.
• 18:20 The movie set in Tucson: shooting the ranger and his own leg.
• 24:10 Second suicide attempt and the realization of being an 'empty shell'.
• 28:50 Discussion of the 12 Steps as spiritual tools for conscious contact with a Higher Power.
• 33:15 Detailed experience with Step 8 and 9: Forgiving his mother and her homemade Christmas trees.
• 38:40 The journey to Syria to reconcile with his father.
• 43:10 Final reflections on what it means to be a 'real man' and the power of love.