You Have a New Boss Now — Let the Truck, the Money, and the Marriage Go – Sohel E.

About This Speaker Tape

Sohel was born in the Holy Land, the son of a father who died when he was four, leaving nine children. His uncle Habib — an alcoholic — handed him his first taste of alcohol as a small boy, and Sohel loved it from the start. By seventh grade he was drinking at village weddings of a thousand people, climbing onto roofs like a monkey to sleep it off. An Arabic teacher named Gabby saw his potential and begged him to quit, offering free tutoring in math and physics. Sohel kept drinking. He finished college, became a head nurse, and by 1982 had been fired again. He poured himself into a new landscaping business, crashed his Oldsmobile truck the first day, and kept going until he was doing a million dollars a year.

In 1991, his friend Ken Horvath bet him 500 dollars that he — Ken — could quit drinking and pot for a year. Ken never collected; he stayed in recovery and Sohel kept drinking. For the next twenty-one years Sohel ran his business, argued with his wife, and hit the wall instead of her. His son tore up a knee, got hooked on pain pills after a 2,200-dollar stretcher bill and MRI, and moved on to heroin. His uncle Habib died from a liter of scar tissue on the liver. A counselor finally told him plainly: your family is fine, your drinking is the problem. He stopped — then flew to Prague for his sister's PhD celebration and drank his way through the Christmas markets for a month.

Twenty-one years after the bet, Sohel called Ken and said, "I'm done." He walked into AA and took the First Step the night he arrived. His sponsor taught him he had a new boss now: let it go, let the Higher Power handle the truck, the money, the marriage. He worked the Steps, took his wife to her first Al-Anon meeting, and brought his son into a program after the relapse.

Today Sohel has sponsees, a home group, and a son sober since May 4th who now works as a counselor. He and his wife still argue — a recent Sunday dust-up ended with him looking at his part in his Fourth Step — but he says at least they have a rug to put down now. His last-night phone call with his son ended, "I love you, Dad." That is what the program gave him after twenty-one years of waiting.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Melissa opens the Monday 8 PM Blue Chip Speakers Meeting at the NAVA Club, reads from page 29 of the Big Book
• 1:30 Ken Horvath introduces Sohel, tells the story of their 500-dollar bet in 1991 — Ken quit, Sohel kept drinking
• 4:00 Sohel born in the Holy Land, father dies when he is four, uncle Habib the family alcoholic gives him his first taste of alcohol
• 8:00 Seventh grade drinking at village weddings of a thousand people, climbing roofs like a monkey to sleep it off
• 14:00 Teacher Gabby begs him to quit, offers free math and physics tutoring — pattern continues through college and nursing
• 20:00 Head-nurse years — smoking weed and bringing a 12-pack to work, fired in 1982
• 26:00 Starts landscaping business with a borrowed mower and weed eater, crashes the Oldsmobile truck the first day
• 34:00 Son's knee injury, 2,200-dollar stretcher, MRI, pain pills to heroin — uncle Habib dies from a liter of liver scar
• 42:00 Wife drags him to counseling, hit-the-wall moment, Prague trip with wine through the Christmas markets
• 52:00 Twenty-one years after the bet he calls Ken — I'm done — walks in, First Step, sponsor teaches him he has a new boss now
• 58:00 Sponsees today, wife in Al-Anon, son sober since May 4th and working as a counselor, Fourth-Step call ends I love you Dad