Working With Newcomers Is What Makes a Long-Timer Remember Why He Got Sober — Moses D.

If the river keep rising, water's going to overflow. This reading is based on a passage from page 29 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Each individual in our own personal stories describes in their own language and from their own point of view the way they establish their relationship with God. These give us a fair cross-section of our membership and clear-cut idea of what has happened in their lives. We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women in our room tonight and listening later on aagluchipspeakers.org, desperately in need, will hear our speaker, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that any of us shall be persuaded to say, yes, I am one of them, too. We must have this thing. The speaker tonight I met a long time ago. We got sober together, and he's awesome, and that's how I give you Moses. Hi. This is Moses. Good evening. Good evening. And I'm an alcoholic. And the words that I heard when I first got here, man, sometimes, you know, we take it for granted, but they say it, and it's read every meeting. But it took me years to memorize what they were saying, and something that I heard every day. Rarely have we seen a person fail. Who thoroughly follows our path. So, if any of you thinking about doing a slip anytime soon, will you do me a favor? Come out and let me know what that beverage smirnoff vodka tastes like. 28 years and 10 months ago, it was a warm December. It was a summer night in Atlanta, Georgia. And I was at a function sponsored by the Atlanta Chapter of the Grammys. And their party was in Fancy Hotel in Buckhead. And the after party was at Eastlake Golf Club ballroom. So, on that day... night, I remember like yesterday going there, and everything was flowing. Everything was free. Anything you want. Bartender. What do you have? What do you want? So I was like, ah, my name is on that crib of gold there. Keep it flowing. It's been 28 years in between my last drink. If I could make it another six weeks, I would have 29 years. I think I might quit drinking by then. Well, I owe a lot of people in this program a bit of gratitude and gratitude for all they did to help me get on this path. And some of those people are here tonight. And Lisa and several others, Rusty. Where did he go? Oh, he went out. But all these people are important. I was listening to Bill Wilson earlier tonight. You know, I like now I can appreciate the founders of this program even more today than I did back then. Because you have to stay connected. Because 28 years ago, you know. But until I started working with newcomers recently, a lot of this stuff I had forgotten. All you don't think about. I mean, you don't forget you're an alcoholic. But a lot of the basic stuff, if you don't use it, you won't remember. So, and those guys, you know, fascinating to me. They came from various backgrounds and different disciplines. And they all brought something to this program. And they talked about how hard it was to get this program sober. And how important the newcomer was or the suffering addict was. That's something that I don't want ever to forget. That's why I place a lot of importance on the newcomer. I was listening to a minister. And he was talking about he had opened up his parish to allow this group to come in during the off hours of the church and have AA meetings. And he said, one day one of the sisters, who was a so-called high church lady, asked him, Why do you fool around with all those? All those drunks and addicts. And he said to her, his response was, well, I think you're an addict too. And she was like, what do you mean? I don't drink. He said, yeah, but you're drunk off righteousness. Self-righteousness. So you might find somewhere along the way that self-righteousness can be one of our handicaps. So, I'm saying that. To say all these things, you know, it took these simple little steps behind me to make me see my own shortcomings. And the reason that's important is because those things caused my behavior to change. And when I first was introduced to a treatment, I remember like yesterday. The person said, do you think you have a problem with alcohol? I said, no, I don't think I have a problem with alcohol. I think I have a problem with control. And I wasn't only talking about controlling liquor. I was talking about controlling everything. You know, I had to be in charge. I was the only one capable of being in charge. So, those were those hidden. Problems that I was dealing with. And as you see the story progress, you will see how that impacted my decisions and some of my actions. What made me the person that I didn't want to be. I grew up in a little town south of Montgomery, about 50 miles from Selma. I grew up with no red lights and a few stop signs, both paved and unpaved roads. So, everybody had the green light there. Whatever you wanted to do and get away with it, you could do it. So, at a young age, I became fascinated with this extracurricular activity. So, at a young age, I became fascinated with this extracurricular activity. So, at a young age, I became fascinated with this extracurricular activity. But I was grounded in strong southern Baptist roots. My mother was a fantastic piano player. My daddy was a faithful deacon. So, all of my brothers and sisters, it was ten of us. Most of us was at home at the same time. But I was the youngest boy out of seven and I was the ninth child. So, I got a chance. So, I got a chance to write. observe all these other people. And so a lot of my behavior was formed by some of my older siblings. So this little town was made up about, back then, maybe a thousand people. 75% African American and 25% Caucasian. And we had two high schools. One was black and one was white. But after the integration started, we ended up with two black high schools, because all the white kids transferred and went to the school, which was private in Monroeville, Alabama. Well, there was a couple of families that were poor, white families, that were poor, white families, that were poor, white families, that couldn't afford to go to these private schools. And they had to stay there and go to school with the black kids. But have you know that those guys, and they were Ricky, Joe, and his sister, they became some of my best friends. And we all played together. I'm saying that to say that it was a balanced, diverse community, which had a lot of different people, and behaviors, and attitudes. Like they had some strange names in that town. Like one guy was named Stonkedown. And Stonkedown really was on the ground. He was stomped like he was stomped down. So then there was another guy named Burnt Wilson. Burnt Wilson had this buggy and a mule. And Burnt Wilson had this buggy and a mule. And Burnt Wilson had this buggy the old days. And Burnt Wilson was rolling on 20's back in the 60's. So he and his mule. All they did was go up and down that road. You saw him everywhere. So it was always a interesting setting. And then there was the cafe. Where a lot of things took place at the cafe. But I'm still a adolescent, so I wasn't able anymore to see anything and often when being brought in, I'd call the mayor and ask about the city. What Urban постав had been working and what most varied neighborhoods were doing. And I knew in these places that they were choosing their facilities that are given. The politicians they wanted was to be free from theoisters. And now I'm an own man in this city and now. And so there is an to participate but I got all the gossip so my cousin who was my best friend had more freedom than I had mama wasn't here and me not being at home and being I was at church and I was going to school and I was going to do my work and I was real active in the school everybody thought I was this great guy which I probably was but I figured out you know how to manipulate people since everybody trusted me so and I was a pretty smart kid I think I was above average smart so I had these divided thoughts one good one bad and I was able to keep the balance. You know, I didn't go overboard with the bad stuff, but I did a lot of bad. So, and I was a typical kid, but I really didn't like the taste of alcohol. And it was years before I got involved with alcohol. But our next door neighbor, they made what they call homebrew. And Uncle Bull was an incredible homebrew maker. And everybody came to his house to purchase these little jars of homebrew. But I never saw Uncle Bull drinking, so he was a pretty good businessman. He didn't drink up all his product. But he kept a line of cars going and coming. It didn't matter whether it was Monday or Sunday. It was always wide open over there with Uncle Bull. So I understood people drinking and all this party and all this stuff was going on. So I got a chance to see him. Then, as I got a little older in high school, I started to see the impact of alcohol on some of the adults. There was this one guy named David Crockett. And David would go to work, but on the weekend, you could find David walking up the road. He'd go one step forward, two steps back. David would be in the same place that morning. He'd be in the same place that evening when he got back. And he'd be foaming at the mouth and singing. So we all the kids made fun of David and laughed at David. But little did I know, you know, the impact that alcohol had on David. He probably didn't understand that he had a mineral obsession and an allergy. And he didn't know anything about what we have here. And once again, that's why I'm so grateful for this program. But David demonstrated what blackouts... And all those things we hear about really mean. So that was one of my first experiences with a person that I thought couldn't control his liquor. Well, there were others that couldn't control their liquor that drank continuously and did this on a regular basis. So I got a chance to witness all these things at a young age. So by now, I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm a little older than David. I'm probably about the ninth grade, and I'm starting to get heavy in the athletics. So this kept me involved and engaged. I wanted to be a good athlete. So I was always physically prepared. So alcohol wasn't a problem yet. So then, I guess, about my junior year, we started to make a question about alcohol. You know, I we would leave the South. My brother lived in Cleveland, Ohio. So we would go to Cleveland to work during the summer. And my cousins in Cleveland were all the hip guys. So they was doing things that I hadn't started to do in Alabama. They had a little marijuana and a few other things, you know, back then, but that was in the 70s, I guess. But that was a drink out as long before a lot of you all called Hopping Gator. And Hopping Gator was a tricky drink. Hopping Gator was like Kool-Aid and all these other things mixed with liquor and a lot of sugar. So this sugar here, that alcohol content. So you, you could indulge and drink a whole lot of Hopping Gator and the next thing you know, you'd be hopping. So that was, that was one of, you know, my first experience with alcohol and understanding then that I didn't like the taste of it, boy, but I sure liked the effect. So I could take, you know, Hopping Gator without any real issues. So I didn't think, I don't think I was going to ever develop no habit from Hopping Gator. It's just a little Kool-Aid. So by then, this was the early 70s. Now we had this little job and I was an entrepreneur and we started selling candy door to door in Shaker Heights. I mean, the houses were so big it'd take you 10 minutes to get to the front door and you sit there and you rang the doorbell and boy, it just played for hours. Doom, doom, doom, doom. Somebody would finally show up and we were selling these boxes of 10 minutes. So we bought wholesale and all of us was country boys who could work and each one of us had a crew of other kids that were working for us. So some weeks we would make $600 in 1971. That was a lot of money for a 15-year-old, 16-year-old then. So I got all this money rolling in and so I went and got me a ride. I got me a fancy car. So I took this GTO. It had a 1960, 1959 Judge Indian in it with dual-line, an 850 dual-line Holley. Boy, and that thing would go any time these cars they got now. You know, you'd be like, those are manufactured cars. Yeah, but we made our own hot rod. And this thing would sound like a freight train when it was running, man. And everybody liked the sound of them and then we would roll back down in the country. Boy, them women had to hide their daughter. Because, man, every girl wanted to ride in that hot rod. So, and all these ladies trusted me with their daughters because this is Deacon Daly's daughter and Sister Daly's son. So, this is a fine boy. Most part, they were right. But we were typical boys. So, we had a lot of fun just to say the least. You know, we didn't get into a lot of fights and crazy stuff just like girls in basketball and football. Those were my only vices. Played a lot of sports. But we always knew that a little alcohol mixed with a little something would get the girls going. So, we figured out then and then, okay. We have the solution. That led to, you know. And at that time, at 16, I could actually go in the liquor store. Either Alabama didn't care about the law or I looked like I was 21. So, I began to start purchasing booze for my dad. And he would send me to Camden. And that's where it was. Wilcox County. I know we'll forget. The first state store. And they called it. ABC store in Alabama. You know, Alabama Beverage Control. They wasn't controlling shit because I was 16 years old. I was 16 years old and I'm buying, legally buying booze without any ID. So, I hate to bust a vibe like that. But I hope it don't incriminate us. But that's, what's kind of the norm then. You know, I guess we had a little freedom and we kind of like made our own laws down there. But, then, it went from Hopping Gator to like Southern Comfort. I don't know if you all know what I'm saying about Southern Comfort. But then, I think one time we messed around and got some wild turkey. Oh my God. Woo! That's the worst headache I ever had. I never recognized, man, that wild turkey. I'm sorry. If you all were promoting wild turkey, I'm sorry. But, I couldn't get in wild turkey. So, because wild turkey would actually knock you in your butt. See, I wasn't trying to get drunk. I was just trying to have fun. You know, I didn't believe it. Just losing control. Once again, I'm a control freak. So, drinking, conflict, it was control and alcohol was a, that was a dilemma. So, when I mixed those two, then I had a paradoxically potentially explosive situation. So, I knew what alcohol did to me. And, why I didn't like alcohol was because when you consume a certain amount of alcohol, your ability seemed to lessen or vanish to a degree. I don't know what y'all call it, but I don't think you have any control. And, it impacted my behavior. So, and that was one part of the drinking experience that I did not like. I didn't like the way alcohol made me behave. Because, you went from a, a sound thinking person to this person out of control. Making poor decisions, poor decisions, and judgements. You know, that's what we'll get to in the fifth step. But, a lot of those issues that, that you faced, you know, it comes once you become inebriated. And, that's where a lot of our, we would be fine people if we didn't have that challenge. And, it has caused a lot of harm to us. And, it is, it made me somebody that I didn't like. So, I'll get further into that as we get a little further along the way in this program. Or, this talk tonight. Which is the program. That's where it all comes from. So, by the twelfth, eleventh grade, I was, I was class president. For six years. I had been class president so long. To my senior year, I said, I'm tired of being class president. I'm going to resign. So, I decided I had other things to do. Now, I'm a senior. So, I got to explore and experiment with a lot of these senior things. But, I did well. I was on the first biracial committee. That's something that I'm proud of, about being in that little town. Because of the integration, they had a biracial committee. So, when black students and white students came together to work out programs that would help the race relationship. This was in the early seventies. So, we was coming out of the sixties. And, we were still in the south. So, it was a lot of things going on still. I was only fifty miles from Selma. And, on that bloody Sunday, my brothers and cousins, a lot of them went to that. To that march. But, Mama wasn't having me going. Because I was only like ten, something like that. But, I was actively involved with things in high school. By then, I had a, I was always an entrepreneur. So, now I was selling papers. I mean, I sold anything that people would buy. I sold grit papers. Now, you tell me the connection between a black kid and this little southern town selling grit paper. And, grit paper was a northern paper. But, I was good enough. I had everybody buying grit papers. So, I sold berries. I had all kinds of clients. Black, white, everybody wanted plums and berries. So, I was an entrepreneur. I always had money. That's what I'm saying. Actually, I started in the limousine business when I was in high school. Because, I had two cars. And, a lot of these athletes didn't have any way home out to practice. So, that was plenty of drinking money. That was plenty of beer money. You know, every time the girl got in the car, oh, what you got to drink? Something for you, honey. Whatever you want. So, these, you know, these were, it was all in good taste, you know. We had our agenda. So, But, that was because I had cash. I had money. I didn't have to ask Mama and Daddy for money every time. I had two cars, you know. I had to take care of these things. But, so during my senior year, there were a lot of good things that we did. Our basketball team, we went to the state tournament that year. There was an interesting story between me and my coach. When I was in ninth grade, I was on a team that was undefeated, our junior team. And, he had a tradition of picking all the junior players to put them on the varsity team. But, he never would let the junior players play. So, this was one of those strict coaches, and nobody rebelled Coach Avery. So, I taught five of my buddies that were on that junior team to rebel against him. And, he took it personal. So, from the ninth grade until the twelfth grade, he wouldn't let me play varsity basketball. But, God works in mysterious ways. So, three of the players quit the varsity team. So, Coach came to me and he had this deep voice. I want to talk to you, baby. I said, Okay, Coach, what's going on? I need you, I need you. So, I was put on that varsity team. I mean, I wanted to be on the varsity team. It was disappointing not to be on that varsity team. Not only on the varsity team, I'm starting, and I'm one of the captains on this team. And, we went to the state tournament. We went to the second round. The year before, we had won the state. And, this coach was very instrumental in my development because before this basketball incident, he made me the class supervisor. He and I had a great relationship, but he never would let me play basketball. Then, I had another professor. Some kind of way you're going to see how I had these relationships with these professors. Now, this one professor named Celista Miller, he let us party at his house. And, he always had parties. In high school, back, if there was a law there, they would have been locked up, man. Because, all these youngsters, underage kids, were drinking and partying at our math teacher's house. I guess he felt that, well, at least I can watch over them and see after them. But, I always end up friends with these drinking professors. So, now I'm about to graduate, I left there in the 70s, early 70s. Now, I'm headed to Tuskegee. Before that, I went to Cleveland for the summer. Actually, yeah, went to Chicago. Went to Cleveland, but left Cleveland and went to Chicago. So, Chicago was, to me, a little faster than Cleveland. And, Chicago had a lot going on. And, Chicago cops were pretty wild. But, I remember, as soon as we got to Chicago, we were downtown on State Street. And, a cop pulled us over. And, I didn't know if my cousin had an ounce of marijuana. And, all cops are not bad. So, whoever said that, they're lying. All cops ain't bad. These cops say, what the hell is this? So, he was like, oh no, that's you. So, the cops say, I'll tell you what, I'm going to pull this crap out and y'all get the hell out of down here. Boy, he's talking about somebody happy because I could imagine calling my mama. Talking about I'm downtown in Cook County Jail. So, that was the beginning of my summer in Chicago. But, Chicago was cool because I had other cousins there in Chicago already in other activities now. They had a few side dishes to go along with all these fancy drinks. So, that was my first introduction to, what do you call it, a little blow. So, you were supposed to be sophisticated if you had a little blow. And, all the girls really liked that candy. So, the candy man is here. So, we were, so, now we in, we got money. I'm working. I'm making money having fun in Chicago. Now, I got to get out of Chicago. I got to get back to Alabama to start college in the famous Tuskegee. It was Tuskegee Institute then, but it's now Tuskegee University. A great historic Tuskegee. So, that was quite an experience at Tuskegee. You know, there, there was a whole lot of part in that Tuskegee. There was this bench. They called it the Ignorant Bench. And, it really was ignorant because all these guys that never went to class stayed on the Ignorant Bench. And, I don't know why they called it the Ignorant Bench because it was too damn stupid to go to class. So, but anyway, everybody had to sit on the Ignorant Bench. You couldn't be authentic Tuskegee if you didn't sit on the Ignorant Bench. So, that's how you were like orientated to school. So, now, I'm at Tuskegee. I'm doing pretty good. And, our dormitory was one of the old dormitories. And, we were sort of isolated from the rest of the campus. So, every night there was a party in that dormitory. And, these guys were real, they were real drinkers, man. They had bottles of vodka, gallons of gin, all types of liquor was in this dormitory. So, I started to gravitate to a little stronger drink. So, now we drinking rum, vodka, and all these heavy alcoholic drinks. But, I was still doing my work. It didn't interfere with my college. It's that year. But, it was kind of funny when I got home they sent this little notice that you need to see the academic dean. So, I was like, I wonder why. I did pretty good, I thought. So, I ended up on probation the next, the first semester. So, the second semester I had to anchor down. So, I pulled this grade point up in the second semester. But, it still wasn't where I wanted to be. So, while I was in Chicago that summer, they sent the grades home to my parents. And, one of my brothers who was a big shot minister, he read the grades. And, said that, well, you are on academic probation. Because of what I had done that first year. So, now, I got to anchor down. So, I get serious. And, the next semester, I had a 3.5. So, things started to click. Now, I got a handle on how to survive at this college level. And, I started to get involved with activities. Became the student coordinator. And, I met another professor. And, this professor was a very learned guy. Graduated from Tuskegee with like a full point average. And, then went to Notre Dame Law School and excelled. And, came back to teach at Tuskegee. And, he had a dysfunctional marriage, I think. Because, he was at my house every night. I mean, we cooked. And, we drank. Then, I would be like, dude, I got to go to your class at 8 o'clock in the morning. You need to go home. And, one thing about it, this guy never gave me a break. I sort of had a resentment against his ass for that. I was like, he's interfering with my study time. And, he won't give me a break. But, I appreciated him for not doing that. Because, it made me really appreciate earning your wages. But, I got through Tuskegee. I had a lot of fun. One of my friends started playing pro basketball here in Atlanta. So, I'm coming to Atlanta on the weekend. And, I'm hanging out with the big boys. And, there's plenty of everything at this level now. There was no shortage of anything. There was plenty of money. Plenty of drugs. Plenty of girls. Plenty of everything you wanted. Plenty of cars. Plenty of clothes. So, now you can go down that fast lane and really look like you belong. You know. So, I experienced a lot of stuff during that period. But, thank God that my higher power looked out for me. And, I was able to make it through. And, after I graduated from Tuskegee, I went to Chicago again. So, now I'm in Chicago in 1977. I don't really want a job. So, now, my uncle worked with the Lutheran Church. The Missouri Senate. And, he said, I might have a deal for you. I said, what's that? He said, I think they'll pay you to go to school. I was like, that sounds pretty good to me. So, I left Chicago and went to Fort Wayne, Indiana. Concordia Lutheran Seminary. Concordia Lutheran Seminary. Concordia Lutheran Seminary. So, now, I'm in Fort Wayne. They're paying me about $900 a month. All the room and board. Tuitions are paid. So, I got a lot of cash. So, I already had ties with Chicago. So, I'm able to go to Chicago. I got all the spots. I got all the clothes. I got all the connections. So, now, I can really play this game. So, again, I met another professor. This professor was a learned guy. Kurt Morkos from Moscow. And, he was a real Russian. We drank straight vodka. And, he gave those sauces. So, can you boys take off and hang out with me? I said, I don't know, Dr. Morkos. But, if you insist. Well, I'll be by tonight about 10 o'clock. And, man, I hate to see Kurt Morkos coming, man, with a filth of vodka and these Russian sauces. And, he wanted you to drink that straight vodka. Like, oh, God, we're not alcoholics, Dr. Morkos. I think you're an alcoholic. But, we'll sniff a little bit to help you out. And, this man had written about 15 books. He'd been in Cambridge, Oxford, Yale, all these fine institutions. I mean, a learned man. But, that tells you, alcohol don't discriminate. It don't care nothing about you. To a degree, alcohol is the master. So, it will become friends with you and change your life. And, it will destroy your life. So, I was paying attention to this usage of alcohol and all these enlisted primarily cocaine. Just to keep it simple, keep it real for those that didn't experience that. Like, Bill Wilson them called the alcoholics rummies. But, down south, we call them drunks. That's what they were. So, we were on a path there. And, now I only needed two years to complete this program. So, I'm about finished with this program. Learned a lot of stuff. Systematic theology, church history, church business, everything. I was equipped to take over this Lutheran parish. But, I knew I didn't want to be a parish minister. You know, little did I know I would be a fisherman of men. I would be out here doing service work. Carrying a message. You never know how God is going to use you. So, don't give up on God. Because He will help you achieve your dream and your goal. So, I just thought I'd throw a little bit of that seminary training on you there. But, we won't go too far away because Rusty is back there. Yeah. But, there were so many good things that I use today in my recovery that I learned from that training. And it helps me relate to people. You know, they talk about empathy and sympathy for people. And how to deal with people in grief when the family has lost loved ones. And how you prepare a mother for a deceased child. All these things we're trained to do. And it helps me now talk to Spartans and my family people. Because two of my brothers were ministers and both of them had their doctorate in theology. And they went the way of the Baptist traditional Baptist church. But, I went to the Lutheran seminary. One thing I liked about AA is that AA was able to stay together. The unity in AA kept AA together. But John Calvin broke away from the church. Martin Luther broke away from the church. Several the United Methodists and the Methodists broke away. They all split. The Lutherans split. They were all divided. There was always problems in those churches with different ideologies and different perspectives. But one thing about this program AA unity has survived for 85 years. So I think we all should give AA a hand. Because we have survived 88 years and we're still going. And, you know, I've done this a number of times. And I think I've gotten through it tonight without cursing. And I was determined to do that tonight without cursing. And I feel pretty good that I didn't have to. You see, you guys are really good. I didn't have to use one curse word. That's why you all are a fine group. Did I use one? I lied. Sorry. But, is that clock right? We're just about. Yeah, you mean I I got time if y'all do. No, I'm just kidding. But I'm going to hastily on here to tell you. So, I hit a wall when I came, left Chicago. Anyhow, I came here in 1979. And I got into the music business. Started my own production company. So, that was a fascinating bit. But, my usage had gotten a little out of hand. And the more I did these abstract drugs, the more I drank. So, I think my tolerance level got pretty strong with alcohol. And I didn't realize that. Like I said earlier, it impacted my behavior and my thinking. So, it led me to some places I didn't want to go and I didn't like. So, it caused me to have to face some of the consequence. And I wish I had time to get into that. But you know the story. We all got our own story. Just use your story for that part, okay? Just fill in the blank with you. I'm sure you all are. Not all angels up in here. I don't try to act like that tonight. So, we all know what alcohol and we all know we got our own story and we blazed our own trail. But look at what God has done for you, me, and all the rest of you all. The one thing about it is you don't ever have to drink a drug again. I did some things. I got into those steps. And I'm going to tell you that is the most powerful thing that I... And I read a lot of books. A lot of smart great people. But that's some of the best literary simple 200 words that I ever laid eyes on. The only problem with it was I got a resentment when I first saw it. Because I should have been able to figure out that shit. I couldn't do it. And I didn't do it. So, that's why I said, Bill Wilson, get into the history of it. Get excited about this program. If you're a newcomer, don't worry about it if you don't know. I got excited when I first heard 3-7-11. Man, I couldn't wait to be able to say that shit. Excuse that language. But that's what it meant to me then. 3-7-11. I say 3-7-11 is important. Because that's what God is doing for you. That's where it all starts. At that third step. And when you get to the fifth step after you looked at all your stuff. I mean looked at it now. Not take it out on the poets and let it sit there. And look at it. I'm talking about get rid of it. You know, when you flush, you don't reach down and try to you know what I'm talking about. You have to let that shit go. That's what the fourth step is. When it say clean house, that's what it is. So if any of you struggling with it, trust me. This works. And keep coming back. That's why we say keep coming back. Because nobody, marriage, how many times you been in and out of this door, hopefully you won't have to come back but one time. But I wish I had more time. Because I really love this program. And I try to carry this message. There's a lot of stories that I could tell you about. But we only got one. 45 minutes. So you know that's the one thing and I appreciate you. And I want to read one thing before I go. Oh, you've been late before. Ain't that right? You know, I come from a Baptist church. We didn't get out on time. Only the Lutherans got out on time. And one thing I learned in seminary, if the Lutherans taught me that if it offends a southern other, drink in front of them. Just don't drink in front of them. We was talking about southern preachers did. Not you all. Your drinking days are over, right? Right? Some of y'all, I didn't hear you. Come on, I know you heard me. Your drinking days are over, right? Some of y'all are a little shaky over there. Don't forget, if you're planning to slip, let me know how that Spill Not Vodka tastes. For the past few weeks, we have been asking ourselves some searching searching questions. We have not been able to answer them all we would like. But on the right answer to these questions will depend the usefulness and the effectiveness of our lives and to some extent the usefulness and effectiveness of the whole AA movement. It all boils down to this. I owe a deep debt to AA and to the grace of God. Thank you for listening. Thank you, Moses. That was beautiful.