Worked Steps Six and Seven Until the Tough Guy From Michigan Could Finally Open His Heart — Terry S.

About This Speaker Tape

This is a memorial celebration of life for Terry Gilbert, held at a recovery clubhouse where Terry spent much of his time. More than a dozen friends, sponsees, and fellow members of AA and NA take turns sharing memories of a man who embodied service without fanfare. Frank Waters opens by describing Terry's habit of leaving his phone in the truck during meetings so he could be fully present, and his refusal to belong to any clique. John, a member of Narcotics Anonymous, recalls how Terry would call to check on him in early recovery, show up at meetings when he knew John was struggling, and quietly slip money into his pocket when he had nothing.

The formal eulogy, themed around "things we cannot change," paints Terry as a man of quiet strength and humble confidence who measured friendship by action rather than words. Tony T shares how Terry became his temporary sponsor at a treatment center and would cut phone calls short with a blunt "I gotta go" once he'd said what needed saying. Chris L describes Terry's fierce love for his wife Carrie, noting that if Terry stayed on the phone with you longer than two minutes, it meant he liked you. Tom recalls Terry's understanding of freedom in sobriety and his practice of doing things for people and keeping his mouth shut about it, including paving a parking lot for a recovery house and refusing payment.

Isaac, who once lived with Terry and Carrie during Carrie's health crisis, remembers Terry stopping in the middle of a striping job to tell him "stay clean, you can do anything you want to do." Dan recalls Terry's directness, his habit of sending Amazon packages of slippers after noticing Dan walked barefoot, and always offering to come when someone was in trouble. Paul describes their ritual of "affectionate grief," trading insults before getting to what really mattered, and recognizing that behind Terry's tough exterior was a man who had worked Steps Six and Seven and could genuinely open his heart.

The service closes with Patty reading the Great Spirit Prayer in honor of Terry's connection to the Red Road, and Annie reading a blessing, carrying forward Terry's constant refrain: "Take care of your health and stay sober no matter what."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Frank Waters opens the memorial, describes Terry leaving his phone in the truck during meetings and his independence from cliques
• 5:00 John from NA shares how Terry checked on him daily in early recovery, showed up at meetings, and quietly gave him money when he had nothing
• 10:00 Formal eulogy read on the theme of things we cannot change, describing Terry's quiet strength, integrity, and partnership with Carrie
• 17:00 Tony T recalls Terry as his temporary sponsor, the two-minute phone call habit, and Terry in a dress at Relay for Life
• 23:00 Chris L describes the infinity chip he ordered three times for Terry and reads its meaning of eternal sobriety and remembrance
• 30:00 Tom shares Terry paving a recovery house parking lot for free, his understanding of true freedom in sobriety, and doing good without seeking credit
• 36:00 Isaac remembers living with Terry and Carrie, Terry stopping mid-job to say stay clean you can do anything, and Relay for Life memories
• 42:00 Dan recalls meeting Terry when he told him to be quiet in a meeting, Terry sending slippers from Amazon, and offering to come when Dan got sick in New York
• 48:00 Paul describes affectionate grief with Terry, recognizing the big heart behind the tough exterior, and Terry working Steps Six and Seven
• 55:00 Patty reads the Great Spirit Prayer, Annie reads the closing blessing with Terry's words: take care of your health and stay sober no matter what