Worked Steps Six and Seven Until the Tough Guy From Michigan Could Finally Open His Heart — Terry S.

My name is Frank Waters, and I have recovered from a lot of things. I saw a guy yesterday, one of my brothers in recovery, and I looked at him. I said, how's our sponsor doing? He goes, I saw him about two months ago. And, of course, tonight, you know, I get to see my sponsor for the first time. And, you know, every two or three years, you need to see those guys. And if it all goes well, I'll tell you his name. But if it doesn't go very well, he wants to just be a nod. We're all coming here today to memorialize Terry Gilbert. There's a lot of people here tonight that haven't seen each other in a long time. A lot of people that wish they could be here. This message goes back to those that ask us questions later. I want to welcome you here to where Terry spent a lot of time. Of course, that's not to say that Terry didn't spend a lot of time. And the most irritating thing about Terry in a meeting was when Terry got in that parking lot out there and parked his truck with his cell phone inside the truck. And walked into the building. So you couldn't talk to him. If you saw him or texted him, you know, he wasn't interested. He got through whatever he was doing. He would go back out to that truck, pick up that phone, turn it back on, and call his wife. I don't know if that was a guilty conscience. At that wedding, I was around Terry a lot. Reasons why. Because you don't belong to anybody. I'm like, I've been married several times. He goes, no, you don't belong to any cliques. You don't let anybody, you know, push you in one direction or the other. I'm like, okay. And it would be damned if he didn't somehow, and Terry would get on the board, accomplish what he wanted to accomplish, and then resign. That is not about love and service that I believe. That's about being self-centered and self-seeking and just doing what the hell I want to do. But, you know, and I was privileged to be one of Terry's children's uncles. She's still with us. She's down in Florida right now. Some guy's sitting her. Those of you that know her are just lovers. Her name's Opal. And the dog had no boundaries. If you were sitting down, she would step on you and step on things you just wish she hadn't. But she was just a lovely, lovely dog. Barked at me over the fence. And she would bark until I came and got inside the fence with her. And I know Terry loved that dog. And that dog loved Terry. And that boy, I mean, he always had an animal or somebody he was bringing into his house. These people that would be like, we'd be like their uncle to them. So much service work in so many different areas of just, it's hard to call it service work without just calling it being kind to your fellow man. To seeing a need for something and stepping in and stepping aside. Fanfare. He didn't want this, that, and the other thing. About the only thing I can think that Terry wanted was for his wife to answer the phone when he called her. And I spent several, several nights over at that house. Usually by myself with Opal and some other dogs. But it's hard to talk about Terry without, and people that are going to come up here and share with you. A good friend of ours is going to come up and do the eulogy. And four or five men are going to come up and talk about Terry. So y'all just bear with us. I don't see any Kleenex. That was an oversight by the Naval Club, I'm sure. But I'm going to sit down over here before I fall down. And I believe it's about a hour. I'm John, and I'm an addict, and I have not recovered. I am recovering. You're right, it is because I'm married. Terry, thank you for asking me to be a part of. There's nowhere else I'd rather be today than celebrating Terry. He meant a lot to me. For this evening, when I first got clean, I'm a Narcotics Anonymous. Excuse my language. When I first got clean, Terry would call me and find out what meeting I was going to. And I thought that that was him just checking up on me, right? And it was that. You know, later on, we kind of talked about it. It was me making a commitment to make a meeting that day. But a lot of times, Terry would show up because he knew I was struggling when I first got clean. And didn't have rent money, didn't have food. Terry would show up and just put some money in my pocket. And there were times that that's all I had. And that's the type of friend Terry was to me. Many years later, I was able to somewhat pay some of that back to Terry. You know, anytime Terry needed anything, I was always willing to be there and be of service to Terry. Because Terry was a friend. He was a service to me and a lot of others. You know, there's a lot of others in here that can talk about how, you know, Terry impacted their lives. But, you know, talking about the calls to carry, you know, Terry and I traveled across the country a couple times. And on bikes. That was one of the things that was a priority on every day was the phone call to carry. You know, no matter where we were at, no matter what we were doing, when a certain time come, he would pull up. And he'd be like, pull over. And I would think you needed gas or wanted something to eat. He's like, I got to call my wife. So we'd stop so he could call carry. And that was endearing, man. I really, there's a lot of things about Terry that I've emulated in my life. And like I've told, you know, my brothers and sisters when we went down to Florida and see Terry. And that's one of the things I said, if you don't have a Terry in your life, get one. Because that is a hell of an example of how to live with integrity and how to give back whenever it's needed without fanfare. You know, there was something that Frank mentioned about him that is absolutely true. He didn't want the accolades. He just wanted to be of service. And I got a friend here that we used to hunt together. And every year, Terry would make sure that we got him a deer for the Nava cookout. So that was, you know, one of those. Where the deer came from for many years was from us. You know, I think y'all know that Terry did that every year. It was a really important film before he moved to Florida. I think he even came up a couple of years after he was gone to make sure that was true. So let me get on. I just wanted to kind of remember Terry and a few thoughts that I had. And I've got some funny ones, but I'll save them for later if we have an opportunity. So the theme of Terry's eulogy is things we cannot change. There are moments in life that remind us how little control we truly have. Moments that shift everything, leaving us standing still while the world keeps moving. Losing Terry is one of those moments. It's one of those things we cannot change. But even in that truth, in the ache of what we've lost, there is something Terry would want us to see. That while we can't change the course of life, we can choose how we walk through it. And Terry walked through his life with grace, humor, and an open heart. A person who could make her laugh even in the hardest moments. To his friends, he was the one who showed up. Not for attention or recognition, but because that's simply who he was. He didn't measure friendship by words, but by action. And those actions spoke volumes. He had a way of grounding people, of making them feel safe, understood, and valued. He carried himself with quiet strength and humble confidence that made others stronger just by being near him. And though he might not have said it out loud, Terry believed in living with integrity and kindness even when life didn't make sense. There are things we cannot change. The passing of time, the turning of seasons, the mystery of why some lives are cut shorter than we ever expected. But we can carry forward the love that Terry gave us. We can hold on to the laughter he shared, the lessons he lived, and the warmth he left in every room he entered. Terry and Terry's life together was full. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real. They faced life's challenges together, hand in hand. Never pretended it was easy, but always finding their way through. And around them stood a host of dear friends, who were part of the story. Terry and Terry's life was full. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real. Never pretended it was perfect, but because it was real. They were the only ones in the story who celebrated their joys and carried their burdens alongside them. That community and that love is part of Terry's legacy. So today, even as we face something we cannot change, we honor Terry by doing what he did best. Loving deeply, forgiving freely, and showing up for one another. We will miss him deeply, endlessly. But his presence remains in the people he loved, in the laughter he sparked, and in the courage he showed us all. We will miss him deeply, endlessly, and his presence remains in the people he loved, in the laughter he sparked, and in the courage he showed us all. us all rest easy terry thank you for the life you lived and for reminding us that even when we can't change the world around us we can still change the way we love within it tony t danny h and chris l and tom come up in that order so i was in a similar situation in 2007 y'all remember woody i loved what frank said about him well that morning before the service stuff about that that i couldn't even look at the sign it said claremont it hurt my heart and i needed a sponsor quick frank and terry wandered in down in the cafeteria and they walked up hovering over me and looked at terry and i said terry i need a temporary sponsor okay that'll be fine but frank needs to help me that's fine he said what he told us you ain't got to worry about your drinking you got to worry about you and women it's we're here for you i pared it down to frank was going through some crap at the time so i leaned on terry but frank came in real handy at one point try to treat women that way called terry and i could start i perceived it what did you do he never wanted to hear about party that is the hazel was the same way we don't want to hear about them what did you do i you know i've had a thousand memories in the course of this day about terry one is y'all probably never got to see terry in her dress oh my god you should have seen it he's walking around the airport in her dress with a purse and high heels wasn't it and he would do that for his wife so they got me involved in relay for life and the next year i was dolly barton with a mustache i'm okay that was that was some fun stuff we pulled jets would not let me go along without hearing from him he called me if i didn't call him he you ever hear this i mean you be in the middle of this long story you won't understand every detail of the story i gotta go so i started pulling it back on but he he did uh he cherished his dogs i dog sat many time baby and the black one universe usually in michigan he called me why don't you just move back one day he was sponsoring people in florida and one year year year when they were doing the cookout and he went to get the meat somewhere in Columbus I think I said what kind of meat you get well I've got some pork we've got some this and that the other I've got some ostrich I said you're shitting me you got ostrich yeah a little bit and I'm moving and I ran over here because I wanted some ostrich it was all gone he uh break up I saved the last just like I do to Woody just so I could listen to it over and over again because his voice he was like my big brother big big brother and when I first started coming here little Terry was me hobbling around and when Tommy died Terry said could you go over to my brother's such an honor that he treated me so well I'll just say Terry I love you you know I love you I knew you loved me and I miss you and you'll always be right here years ago you jumped up you I don't want to show off and take the job hey y'all I'm Chris friend of Terry's I'm a recovering person recovering addict hey uh I'm playing this joke I feel underdressed hang on bear with me I got my cry in yesterday that thing hit me and I couldn't hold it back uh yeah I took all my material Terry was like a brother to me man it was almost like we had the same mother and same father uh Terry was like a big brother favorite to me uh Terry even took an entire life away from me I had my son he was like my best friend I really did care for him but uh I never wanted to be a baby again I know that Terry has worked really hard and he is one of the best examples of a recovering person and y'all have already said the the the carry jokes but uh my thing is if you talk to Terry on the phone and he stayed on that phone longer two minutes he likes you of putting your spouse, putting your wife before everybody else. They call it in the streets. He loved recovery. He loved Carrie. He loved his dogs. He loved his Harley. Not necessarily in that order. He loved his spouse. He was Isaac. He would always ask me about you. Good to see you. Tim, I know of you. Got a chance to participate in that memorial ride yesterday. I missed the memorial due to anybody rides a Harley, you know something's going to happen. You know, so I had to work on it, tinker, put a battery in it. But I was able to hang out up there and caught the guys on the way back. I was able to go and break bread. So I still feel like I got my ride in with Terry in the tour pack of that CBO. So I was grateful for that. I'm going to say a few more things. And again, I was told I had six minutes. I probably babbled two of them. So I'm going to speak on the feeling of the ship. But back to Terry again. Here's my impression of Terry. Click. Blah, blah, blah, blah. He's gone. You know. So he had his priorities in order. He didn't waste time. And Terry was just a good dude, y'all. You know, and the thing about Terry is that, and I babbled some few things down because I didn't want to get up here and not remember. But it was like, if you came to him with what was going on with you, he was going to give you some feedback. You know what I mean? And that's just advice. And Terry saw the good in situations. He saw the good in you. And he would point out things for me that maybe I took for granted. You know, and he was always uplifting and encouraging. You know, and I love that about Terry. Me and Terry yesterday said that he was the ultimate optimist. And that was Terry. And he would tell me, well, you know, you're taking care of your kids. You know, you're taking care of your mom. You're doing this. You're doing that. You're staying clean. you know I'm doing all that so he saw the best in us man Terry was sincere he was honest trustworthy I'm so grateful for the time I was able to spend with him you know we got a born date and a death date and that dash in between you know he lived out that dash you know and Terry thank you for not holding him back from his excursions and whatnot I know he went to the west coast and all that and you know sounds like you were good with it you know he got it in y'all he lived to the fullest uh Terry was of service you know and I admired him I've never been to this clubhouse I knew of it and I know that Terry would uh do a lot of acts of service including you know the grilling of the meat and everything and and the thing about it he wouldn't have just a random meal stuff he'd have beef and pork and there's gonna be some venison you know there's gonna be some other stuff some ostrich and I think one time he grilled a mongoose I still don't know how he caught that mongoose but he caught it those are jokes but you know and and and here's the thing you know that was part of uh some open-mindedness because you know certain times you may not be exposed to some of that wild game you know and uh you know that was cool that's the open-mindedness that we talk about so Terry Kerry asked me to talk about um the infinity chip that was the one thing that I wanted to do there's a story behind this chip and I ain't gonna tell y'all all the details but I had to order it three times to get it but Terry was worth it one got lost in the mail i sent the money to the wrong person and didn't want to return it infinity that word is of latin descent infinity or endless impossible to measure or calculate for others was immense always looking to touch others and to be of service in his own special way i already mentioned how he cooked meat and all that good stuff and you know he provoked open-mindedness through the taste buds and you know i can only imagine that he and m padded he slid down 285 and survived it so i started calling him leatherback that was my little nickname for him so let me read about about this chip so i won't be too long this medallion infinity symbol it is a powerful symbol of eternal sobriety clean time white i'm sorry a vibrant white tri-plate design but it's a beautiful way to commemorate the life of a sober member of alcoholic synonymous or in a who's not an official narcotic synonymous emblem but it's featured on popular unofficial medallions commemorate members who have died sober ongoing recovery of healing so terry's healed a hole and the limitless possibilities of recovery to the official in a symbol which has different layers of meanings it says the narcotics anonymous in a infinity medallion is not a standard official in a issued medallion but a commemorative piece often given in memory of a clean member who's passed away the medallion's history and significance are noted in the broader meaning of this symbol symbolism while the na medallions mark specific time milestones and feature the program's official logo the infinity medallion origin is tied to the concept of eternal sobriety and remembrance charity has gone from us physically i think you'll live with us in our hearts forever so that being said y'all thank you for listening um thank y'all for being part of charity's life i'm tom i'm a recovered alcoholic and i was in this meeting all full of from another book and this guy said i'm gonna have to share this story and i'm embarrassed because this is gonna make me cry in this guy because i got two words for you man he was terry was a manly man he was a tough man and and after you got through that in the beginning he came in here wearing that armor right came in in 94 and bounced around until he used to come running up get a running start and i i'd hit him hard as i could and and one time i caught him by surprise and he literally took one step this way let's just say he was a solid guy in more ways than one what an amazing man what a story of redemption where he came from our textbook says it gives a couple of examples but it literally says a couple of times our past becomes an asset you know it was a season not a life sentence i dig up that past anytime i can use it to help somebody that thinks they're alone or different and they're looking at their shoes and i get to go i did that you know and terry was able to do that he was down trying to find his purpose we were at triangle club one night and this kid walked in thought he was tough right he had a chain that went from his ear to his his lip that's like that's like a challenge to pull that thing out if he said the wrong thing right he was on the phone and terry politely said i need to use that phone when you get done and he turned around and had some choice words for him and he had hopped off to everybody in that clubhouse and terry just said what did you say and he started walking towards i don't think i've ever seen anybody run so fast in my life you know yeah i guess he's he's kind of doing the tour now florida it's i mean what what a fitting thing for terry terry was a traveling man but he impacted so many people i've done quite a few road trips but not one like terry and john did a couple times you know i talked to carrie a couple times i think they're in kingman just what a cool thing you want to talk about freedom terry knew freedom freedom is when i can walk into a bar placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected and somebody's getting trashed and it doesn't make me want to drink or join them in the parking lot for something else that's freedom that that issue's been settled for me my track record says i can't and terry came to the realization that his track record told him he couldn't he impacted a lot of people and he continues to impact people today you know my first sponsor used to say you want to know where you're at with humility bald-headed guy you remember him i love he was begging in narcotics anonymous too he'd say you want to know where you're at with humility do something for somebody and keep your mouth shut about it i'm like i'm going to tell everybody i wanted to come to a meeting race and i'm going to tell everybody i'm going to tell everybody i'm going to tell everybody my dad and say guess what i did terry did stuff for people he thought that a lot quicker than i did he did stuff for people and kept his mouth about it i was on the board up at how place in woodstock and this guy goes we did our parking lots try it i went i know a guy i called up terry and he did he came up there with his trailer like a couple days later and his helper and all the stuff up excellent job like he always does and member of the board comes up and goes here i need to pay you and terry goes pay my helper that's the kind of guy he was he did things for the goodness of doing things and money was secondary it was a way to help people he laid some money on me a couple times you know just what a blessing it was to know a guy like that i've kind of come to the conclusion now when i do something for somebody i'm going to keep my mouth shut about it if it glorifies me that's what terry did but if it glorifies the god i serve i'm going to tell everybody when the right time came people what he needed to tell them i just really admire the guy got other terry i'll save him thank you for asking me to do this carrie uh i'm danny heath and we're covering alcoholic probably didn't know terry as well as some of you but he was very important didn't share all the fun of you did but he was one of the first ones to welcome me back for some reason i'm going to see to me by seven years but in the 80s went in hey there's several other guys here tonight that were there i remember i was crying in that first meeting you looked at me and said it's okay men do cry it helped a lot john was there and guys like terry you know they both you've seen the smart ass side of them as much as i did but i used to see how that working out he had a big heart and there was a soft side to terry if you got to know him well enough he had a big heart i've gained so much from him just by watching him you know he when i think when i first you know if you had a couple of years you were an old timer i learned by example when you're he says hey you're gonna help out with the barbecue this year i said i beg your pardon and he said yeah he says uh we're sure he says we can get to it after i knew there was and wound up having a great time so much of this time in his life when i started going through some thank you to terry for a couple of years many times i would remember that he said god's gonna give you the strength you need and he did but terry also thinking about what i wanted to say today that was really the most important thing i wanted to get across terry gave me the strength you're gonna be my name is isaac i am i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for terry and it feels very surreal to be in this room and not see him sit over there with paint all over his jeans you walk in and he'd look for someone to with you know get his coffee and come sit down there's usually me like pickle mike at the time or his brother not out of mean he wasn't being mean you know but he knew that we were all struggling brand new and trying to figure it out and and and he knew it and he just liked to give us a hard time you know i had the opportunity to work with terry striping right and we're in the middle and he stopped and he just looked at me and said you know stay clean you can do anything you want to do at a time he has i was out of my mind i was like okay dude let's just keep working you know it didn't hit me till like years later whereas opportunities i stayed clean and i kept coming back and opportunities opened up for me you know year after year he really was the example in my life of you just show up and you do service work and you don't brag about it and then like a lot of you mentioned he would do i mean i think he was a good guy he was a good guy he was a good guy he was a good guy he was a good guy he was a good guy even though him and his brother they loved each other but they didn't get along all the time you know but he he he was helping him out you know and he used to work with uh this other dude david and and david was he was he was something else terry would give him extra money because he knew he needed it because he couldn't hit a tough time keeping his life straight that was just the type of guy terry was i had the opportunity to live with with carrie and terry when when carrie got diagnosed you know and to be there and to you know be as much help as i could right but really i was she had gotten diagnosed and i was kind of i was homeless at the time they gave me a place to stay and you know i saw the best and the worst of terry and the worst wasn't really that bad you know there's so many things that i can talk to to you all about but you all probably know but you know we did the relay for life i was there there too he was in a dress you know it was just a lot of fun you know they they took the this this dire news in stride and and they made something really beautiful about it i got to be a part of it i was there and even if i was just a fly on the wall it was it was i was so grateful for it every time i talked to terry regardless of what was going on in my life he's like you'll be all right it's like you know what i will be all right and and to think that you know terry overcame so many hardships in his life and he never really liked to talk about it you get him you get it here and there right but you just knew that if terry could fucking do this anybody can was nothing and that as long as you stay clean you kept coming back you know your life will get better i mean years he was in my life and yeah i don't know that's all i got thank you my name is dan i'm an alcoholic how many people in here have had the pleasure of doing service with terry raise your hands me too now let me tell you how i met him i was sitting right over there at a meeting he was sitting in front of me with a friend of his and they were yakking through the whole meeting and i tapped him on the shoulder and i asked him to be quiet and he said f you but right afterwards he came up to me and he said you know what i was out of line and i apologize and i really thought that that was really special you know uh terry and i couldn't be more different american indian growing up in saginaw michigan and you know me and we developed a really close friendship me and i feel like their sponsor he didn't check in with me you know i'd call him every three weeks or so to let him know what was going on you know and we stayed in touch and you know i want to tell you monday night men's meeting that used to be at m's house i offered my restaurant so i'm down in the kitchen and terry comes downstairs and he looks at my pans they have creosote on the bottom because they're used so much because your pans are dirty so you know i threw an f-bomb and i told him to go back upstairs which he did and that that kind of became a running joke for us over the years terry is one of was one it's hard for me to say was you he loved i was up in new york an infection and i got really sick the next day and my temperature went up really high they took me to the local hospital which wasn't a very good hospital and they told me that i had a heart condition which wasn't true but anyway so you know i called terry to tell him what was going on and he just said you want me to come up you want me to come up that's the kind of guy he was he used to stay at my house when he visited he's the best house guest i ever had you know always put things away cleaned up you know my dog loved him and he saw that i walk around barefoot in my in my home and he didn't like that you need you need slippers i said yeah yeah whatever you know and damn it a week later there was an amazon package you know i i love him i miss him there'll never be another one like him they broke the mold he was my hero he told me i was his hero i was his hero i was his hero i was his hero i was his hero i was his hero i was his hero which what can i say i miss him this is a testament to how many people he touched thank you hey everybody i'm paul i'm an alcoholic i'm really grateful to be here and thank you carrie and terry's family patty for putting this together and um you know you're raging when you're god i wish they had railings i'm hopefully going up or going down like other people um i didn't have a lot of contact with terry but when we did it really mattered remember maybe wasn't the first time i met him um but it was a time i think after his his wedding to which was one of the most joyous weddings i've ever been to he actually looked joyous and free and apparently nobody pissed him off at that wedding when i saw because he didn't put him up for anybody but it was great one time downstairs that's where we would see each other periodically he's the person i first thought of the term that i now use in my life it's called affectionate grief there are some people when you meet each other you give each other you know the business and then you get to what's really going on and connect so we would do our affectionate grief mine was something like you're almost sober tough guy from michigan and he would say you know you're getting sober for a guy who's got a head full of nothing but ideas we would hug and then we would start talking and um one time he wanted to talk about his bike and i told him he was going to my biking career in one of my many years off in between finishing school i was in mattoon illinois and i was working with a jug group geophysical prospecting and a bunch of those guys had bikes and they said you got to get a bike my girlfriend at the time found a guy who brought over a bike he wanted to sell it was not a harley i'm sorry i think it was a kawasaki crotch rocket bike and he gave me a verbal lesson at the side of our house and i got on the thing and i popped the clutch with full gas and i ran it into the side of the house fell backwards with the bike on top of me that is my entire biking career so god bless you guys who ride in your cross-country trips and one of my sponsorees i have two who ride bikes one of them i lovingly affectionately call a sponsoree in nomine and that's latin for in name the name only we don't actually do step work but we love each other and we see each other every couple of years not giving away any secrets here and the other one i see every few months and we actually work some steps it's awesome so it's a it's a good gig and i'm glad i have it and i love them both terry um probably was and could really come across as really hard-headed and tough but he had one of the biggest hearts most loving hearts i've ever met and it wasn't bait and switch it was just for you know the places he'd been who he was how he's raised he needed this persona to be safe but he actually worked the steps including steps six and seven the magic seesaw that turns not drinking or using into living sober and could when he met you and trusted you and after the affectionate grief could open up his heart and we did that with each other not often but it meant so much so i too have a head full of memories of terry right now and i'm i'm so grateful to have known him and just still remember him in the present tense so thank you my name is fred i'm not calling after hearing all these things about terry i just had to get up and talk a little bit he uh there's some place in the book talked about we're people who would normally out in a three-piece suit on the side over there by the coffee pot and uh we didn't really get together until in uh book study and i met him and he said i met him in that book study and that's where we formed a bond and a friendship and he i always do what he was up to and doing stuff around here he was kind of my canary in the gold mine coal mine when i was on the board and we were doing the remodel he never did he was a great supporter somebody mentioned he did stuff and humbly and didn't let people know about one of the things that just struck the hell out because i've talked to him since he went down to florida i talked to him the day before he died but before he died he was a great supporter and he was a great supporter we had a guy by the name of his last name anyway he moved terry did not get along to say the least i called him and started going down there and helping him do stuff on his own i heard about this from harry he would just put out we've got a lot of phenomenal people he was in the top three tyrant and i'm an alcoholic i'm like fred i'm sitting back there debating on whether i don't want to say something from atlanta when you're sober that's where i met a lot of the people that are here today including terry telling terry that i've worked in michigan oh you from what's the last time you like them snoils terry i'm not from michigan i'm from atlanta okay next meeting hey man when you when you're going up to detroit when you're going to visit michigan again this went on this went on and on and like terry what did you hear you're not you're not picking up what i'm putting down bro as i'm sitting here and listening to uh all the stories and and i like like it was said i only know terry from the meetings but there are certain things that i noticed about terry he would be the first here he'd be the last in the uh in the main meeting area and then he'd be the last in the uh to leave the parking lot he i felt like he was a guardian of everybody that came to these meetings or that he came in touch uh touch with including me and listening to the stories he's the epitome of step 12 having practicing all these principles these principles in all my affairs he is an inspiration for me anyone that crosses my path or to be of service in his case to anybody that crossed his path so once again thank you carrie i love you thank you so much i'd like a little miss patty to come up hi guys i'm patty i'm an alcoholic everybody i love you carrie you're the greatest gift that terry ever shared terry was my late husband and best friend boy that would talk about two explosions they would fight and make up and fight oh they were adorable i'm going to read the great spirit prayer and i thought about terry how he lived and he died as well carrie summer call i'm so glad you guys are here and this is the prayer i'm going to read and he always followed the red road oh great spirit whose voice i hear in the wind whose breath gives life to all the world hear me i need your strength and wisdom let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset make my hands respect the things you have made in my ear sharp to hear your voice make me wise so i may understand the things you have taught my people help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes toward me let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock help me seek you pure thoughts and act with the intention of helping others help me find compassion without empathy overwhelming me i seek strength not to be greater than my brother but to fight my greatest enemy myself make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes so when life fades as a fading sunset my spirit may come to you without shame and that's been translated by the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god and the grace of god by chief yellow lark thank y'all it was like some prison punk that came here to get sober and we uh basically but it had like two rams you know just playing around and we thought it was fun some people would uh call people to come settle us but uh you know terry my point is terry wasn't a saint he wasn't always um somebody you would invite out for hot dogs i mean you know let's let's bring them home for dinner came came about when he got exposed to carrie and uh and carrie set in on this training mission that was how to you know make him presentable to the rest of the world which is basically really really true i mean you know i just i was just here and but how thing how people get connected because terry used to give cat all kind of help because i used to say okay you got to be at the mandatory meeting which was saturday breakfast down so i always give her a bunch of shit about you know being a newcomer hanging out with old people but when she talked about the audacity of her husband and herself throwing a crotch rocket and a rider at me with thousands of other motorcycle parts and i remember that because and i forget who else was you know riding with us they're connected here is that john where they came all the way up there somewhere and you couldn't really tell where we were at people came together people that knew each other just folded right in and paul hit the pot hit on whether he talks about the redemption i'm here because you know we we we saw the light you know basically we come here because we felt the heat and if we're coming here to maybe hide under a rock or something and something happened then we stayed and we changed and we changed others around us and they changed us with each other whether we actually talked to each other or not we're you know your furniture in my room you're in my living room right now part of my like me and you think way too much about everything i think we're going to do a musical tribute now and after that we're going to everyone's going to say the lord's prayer according to this and after that any age is going to get the benediction i call it and i'm telling you this is a privilege um when carrie called me and asked me i'm like absolutely no questions asked um i'm gonna say a few things and then i'm gonna read the closing prayer when when i first met terry i didn't know i didn't know how to take him he was one of a kind that guy said he was one of a kind but i can say that he was all he would always have a smile for me no matter what he was going through what kind of day it was he would always have a smile and also he would always ask me about my health if he wasn't around or if he didn't see me he would ask somebody how's annie doing you know there's some things i never forget he would always always make me smile all the time after he'd have a good time and i got an and we turn out to be the best of friends you know and i can say that about him it took me a while but once i got to know him good that was it he was a good friend there's two things that he would always say to me that i would never forget his favorite two things to me was annie take care of your health and stay sober no matter what there was the main two things he always said to me no matter what and i never forgot it and i would take it with me forever so that's one of the best experience that me and terry had you know so i'm gonna read this prayer and may god bless him may the road may the road rise to meet you may the wind be always at your back may the sun shine warm upon your face may the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again may god hold you in the hollow of his hand thank you