Woke Up from an Eighteen-Day Coma and My First Thought Was How to Get Back to the Liquor Store — Step Two Is Real — Grace F.

About This Speaker Tape

Grace tells her story from a NaviZoom Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting. She grew up in Tacoma, Washington, ashamed of where she came from and ashamed of her single-mother home. Her mother was a loving but overbearing alcoholic who died of an overdose at 36, leaving 19-year-old Grace to raise two younger sisters, a brother, and her own two small children. For decades Grace lied about her mother's death, telling people it was a car accident — she did not tell another human being the truth until she sat down with her AA sponsor.

She worked her way through high school and medical training, married a soldier out of Fort Lewis, had twin boys in Augsburg, Germany, and watched her addiction explode at every duty station until she walked away from her husband and children in Hinesville, Georgia. Five years on the streets — abandoned houses, cars, pillar to post — ended in a jail cell in 1997 where she begged her Higher Power for help and put down the drugs. But she kept drinking, and six years in, the alcoholism that the Big Book warns moves faster in women came for her hard: morning shakes cured by a shot from the cabinet, vodka in her work bag at Fort Stewart, driving drunk through roadblocks with her paperwork already in hand.

A mentor at work pushed her into an early federal retirement in November 2013. A year alone in her house with the curtains closed, the TV on, and a half-gallon of vodka next to the couch ended on Halloween 2014, when the liquor stopped working, her chest started hurting, and she drove herself to the ER lying about drinking. She woke up six days later from a medically induced coma in ICU, and her first thought was how to get back to the liquor store. A week later, dressed head-to-toe in black at the drive-through window of the package store, her daughter pulled in behind her with the high beams on — and Grace heard herself say, "I'm going to find an AA."

It took her three days to turn the knob at her home group. She sat in the parking lot two nights running. On the third night she walked in broken, told them she still wanted to drink, and stayed. Sponsored by Betty, she did the steps, told the truth about her mother for the first time, and now sponsors a chain of women — Kelly, Cheryl, and others — who spoke up after her share. Sober since November 1, 2014, she lives for grandchildren who have never seen her drunk.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Julie opens the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting on NaviZoom and reads the page 29 preface to the personal stories
• 1:30 Grace introduces herself, sobriety date November 1, 2014, last drink Halloween 2014
• 3:00 Childhood in Tacoma, ashamed to say where she was from, growing up in an alcoholic single-mother home
• 6:00 Mother dies of an overdose at 36; Grace at 19 takes over raising her siblings and her own two children, then lies about the cause of death for forty years
• 12:00 Marriage to a soldier at Fort Lewis, twin boys born in Augsburg Germany, addiction picks up at every duty station
• 15:00 Five years on the streets in Hinesville Georgia, jail cell prayer in 1997, puts down drugs but keeps drinking
• 20:00 Crossing the invisible line — morning shakes cured by a shot from the cabinet, vodka in the work bag at Fort Stewart, driving drunk through roadblocks
• 28:00 Boss pushes her into early federal retirement November 2013; a year alone in the house with the curtains closed and a half-gallon beside the couch
• 33:00 Halloween 2014 — liquor stops working, chest pain, drives to the ER, wakes from a six-day medically induced coma still wanting to drink
• 38:00 Drive-through liquor store in black clothes, daughter pulls in behind her, Grace hears herself say I'm going to find an AA
• 42:00 Three days sitting in the parking lot before walking into her home group; Betty becomes her sponsor and she tells the truth about her mother for the first time
• 48:00 Sponsees Kelly, Cheryl, and others share back — links in the chain from Betty to Grace to them