Willingness Started the Size of a Fingernail and That Was Enough to Build a Life On – Art S.

About This Speaker Tape

Art S. tells his story at the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting at the Nava Club in Atlanta, with a sobriety date of January 20, 1998. A Southern Baptist kid from Arab, Alabama who ran the dry campaign for a local wet-dry referendum as a teenager, he didn't take his first drink until age 21 — wine on a back porch in Fairbanks, Alaska in 1976 — and from the second or third Canadian Club and 7-Up onward, he was chasing the sense of ease and comfort. Seven years of drinking in Alaska, then powders, then a 1984 geographic move back to Alabama where church held him for eight dry years until a big sales contract and a self-thrown party put him back in it harder than before.

His first treatment at MAR in Atlanta in 1996 didn't take — he strutted out at 88 days convinced he was a model patient, and relapse followed within three months. He came to in a motel room in Dothan, Alabama, out of dope, money, and alcohol, and a customer paid his bill so he could drive to Atlanta. Surrender came when counselor Dave D. hugged him at MAR and wouldn't let go until Art's body relaxed. A black doctor doing service work by taking his medical assessment told him plainly he would die if he didn't seek something different — and Art wanted whatever had changed that man.

The tape turns on the magic of the steps worked with a butt-kicker sponsor he didn't like but needed, and on the ninth step he thought he'd done with his daughters April and Ariel until a podium speaker in Colorado taught him to ask "What was it like to have me for your dad?" and shut up and listen. What he heard at twelve years sober was that his perception of himself as a father had been wrong — he had been a hideous failure — and doing the amends work from that reality gave him the relationships he has today. His grandson Elijah, named after the son his first wife miscarried before he got sober, is now the child he gets to be present for.

Art has ended a 31-year marriage, been through bankruptcy, and walked through scary times with his youngest daughter, all sober. He closes on Dr. Bob's words to skeptics and intellectual pride — "Your heavenly Father will never let you down" — and frames the steps as an assembly line: run them in order with a competent sponsor and the spiritual experience is as guaranteed as a Ford rolling off the line.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Chris Ward opens the Monday Night Blue Chip Speakers meeting at the Nava Club and Tim introduces Art
• 2:30 Art S. takes the podium — frustrated comedian, sobriety date January 20, 1998, sponsor Bill S. from Roswell
• 7:00 Growing up Southern Baptist in Arab, Alabama — running the dry campaign as J. Arthur Sutherland, manager
• 12:00 First drink on a back porch in Fairbanks, Alaska, May 1976 — Canadian Club and 7-Up becomes the staple
• 18:00 Geographic cure back to Alabama in 1984 — eight dry years held up by church, ended by a self-thrown sales party in 1992
• 24:00 First MAR treatment in 1996 — strutting out at 88 days convinced he was a model patient, relapse within three months
• 29:00 Motel room in Dothan — a customer pays the bill so Art can drive to Atlanta with 28 dollars
• 33:00 Dave D. hugs Art at the MAR staff lunch and won't let go until his body relaxes
• 38:00 Black doctor doing service work sits on the bed and tells Art he will die if he does not seek something different
• 46:00 Colorado podium speaker teaches the ninth step question — 'April, what was it like to have me for your dad?'