Thirty-Three Years Sober and I Still Participate Very Well in My Character Defects – Reese D.

About This Speaker Tape

Reese D., sober since June 5, 1982, shares a thirty-three-year story shaped more by childhood abuse and compulsive pursuit than by alcohol itself. Raised in Brunswick, Georgia, the son of a Jewish mother from New York and a local father, he grew up singled out, beaten, and molested, learning early to go numb. He drank, used IV drugs, chased women, got hepatitis at seventeen, bounced through counselors, Georgia Regional Hospital, and multiple treatment centers before landing at Willingway in 1982 — where an affair started during family week triggered the overdose that finally became his bottom.

He describes the first year as ego-driven trophy-hunting for sponsors, caffeine and cigarettes swapped in for drugs, and a near-marriage he blew up by telling the truth about his sexual identity struggles right after the invitations were ordered. The pivot came at about seven years: standing at his mother's sink, rinsing his mouth and spitting as a deliberate act of resentment, he realized the wreckage underneath the drinking was still alive. A night in Gainesville — driving home crying after sex that no longer worked — stripped him of every remaining symptom and left him face to face with himself.

Recovery deepened through a maternal sponsor from the other program, a close non-romantic friendship with a lesbian AA member, and finally a wife whose six-year-old spit food at him and whose three-year-old handed him a playground rock out of her overalls as a peace offering. He talks candidly about fighting with a six-year-old until he saw himself in her — needy, impulsive, dishonest, the kid who used to get beaten for exactly those traits. A new job in early 2015 has surfaced every old insecurity again, and he leans on prayer, meetings, and the newcomer to keep the lead jacket off.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Host introduces Reese, recalls Reese visiting him daily during stage-four cancer recovery four years earlier
• 2:30 Reese identifies as alcoholic, gives June 5, 1982 sobriety date, says liquor was but a symptom
• 6:00 Jewish mother from New York in 1950s South Georgia; early physical and sexual abuse that he grew numb to
• 12:00 Father cutting his hair over failing grades; hepatitis at seventeen from IV drug use; counselor Howard who smoked pot with him
• 18:00 Georgia Regional Hospital introduction to AA via the head narcotics officer from Brunswick; Hilton Lowe twelve-stepping him at eighteen
• 24:00 Willingway Hospital 1982; affair and husband bringing pot to family week triggers the overdose that becomes his bottom
• 32:00 Three sponsors in the first year chosen for status; four-month spiritual awakening — 'garden variety,' just there is a God
• 40:00 Spitting in the sink in front of his mother to settle a childhood resentment; crying in the car after sex in Gainesville, every symptom finally gone
• 48:00 Meeting his wife and her two daughters; six-year-old spitting food at him; three-year-old handing him a playground rock out of her overalls
• 55:00 Closing — February 2015 job surfacing old insecurities; primary purpose, staying a newcomer, prayer and reaching out