The Steps Do Not Fix Your Problems: They Remove Everything That Is Not You – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Sandy B. was a Marine fighter pilot who lost his vision in the cockpit, got diagnosed with a childhood fear of flying, and was reassigned to run an air traffic control unit — while still drinking. The Navy never called it alcoholism. Then came the grand mal seizure, the DTs, the CIA moving the walls of his hospital room, and six months locked in a psychiatric ward before AA talked its way in.

His sponsor showed up on Pearl Harbor Day, December 7th, 1964 — a former infantry Marine, explosive ordnance disposal, a man so large no light came through the door frame. He interviewed Sandy's wife and six kids, ignored Sandy's objections entirely, and drove him to a meeting that lasted until 11:30 PM with square dancing and chicken. On the way home, Sandy rehearsed his exit speech for nine straight minutes and stood in the headlights making a clicking noise while the words never came out. That was his last drink. He also tells the story of his first time chairing a meeting, when his invited speaker stood up, announced he was resigning from AA, and explained that the steps had taught him to drink safely — until the drunk jockey in the front row jumped up and challenged him to a drinking contest outside.

The heart of this talk is a single idea Sandy returns to three times: no matter what the problem — getting fired from the Marines, divorce, bankruptcy — the answer at every discussion meeting was the same. Serenity prayer. Double up on meetings. Work with newcomers. Stop thinking about yourself. He thought they were missing the point. Eventually he understood they were giving him the only answer AA has, and it's the right one. The steps don't fix your problems — they strip away everything that isn't you, like a sculptor removing marble until the statue appears.

For the person who's been sober a year and still thinks AA's suggestions are too simple for their specific disaster — Sandy's three trips to the discussion meeting will sound uncomfortably familiar.

Topics

Timestamps

• 5:00 Sandy describes losing his vision mid-flight after 13 years as a Marine fighter pilot — doctors conclude it must be a childhood fear of flying
• 10:00 The DTs hit in Bethesda Naval Hospital — the CIA is moving his walls, giving him secret mental tests, and threatening to put him in a dungeon
• 15:00 Sandy buys a quart of vodka as what he estimates will be a year's supply — it is gone by Sunday afternoon of the same weekend
• 20:00 His sponsor arrives on Pearl Harbor Day, so large no light comes through the door frame, and interviews Sandy's family while Sandy pleads to just be left some literature
• 25:00 Sandy's invited speaker stands up at his first meeting as chairman and announces he is resigning from AA — the steps taught him to drink safely
• 30:00 Three visits to discussion meetings — fired from Marines, divorce, bankruptcy — each time the room gives him the same answer, and he slowly realizes that is the point
• 34:00 The marble statue metaphor: a newcomer is a block of marble, and the steps remove everything that isn't the beautiful figure already inside