The Night the Steps Were Written: Democracy Saved AA from Its Own Believers – Homer D.

My name is Bob Pierce and I am an alcoholic. This morning we present a play, The Twelve Steps, by Homer Dee. Our purpose in presenting this play is to reenact the occasion of the writing of the Twelve StepS of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA was founded in June 1935 as a result of a call for help from Bill W. at the Mayflower Hotel in Akron, Ohio, culminating in his meeting with Dr. Bob. Three years later, in the year 1938, definite action was taken for the writing and publication of what was to become known as the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. By the month of March, Bill W. had begun to write the first two chapters of a book to formulate the principles and philosophy of the infant organization. At this time, the New York group was meeting in the home of Bill W., 182 Clinton Street, Brooklyn, New York. This group was now using the six steps that they had taken from the absolutes of the Oxford Group, from which the New York group of A.A. had originated, and from whom Bill W. had begun his thinking about what is now the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. By the spring of 1938, a definite program of action took shape. It was agreed that we needed a tax-free charitable trust or foundation. Foundation. The board was set up of five trustees comprising three non-alcoholics and two alcoholics, one of whom was Dr. Bob. This was the formation of the Alcoholic Foundation, later to be renamed the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous. The Board attempted to solicit donations for the publishing of the book, but even though the fact that such donations were tax free who made no difference, and progress was slow. Promises were made but not kept, and the group was discouraged. In 1938, in the fall, Bill took the first two chapters he had written to the religious editor of Harper's Magazine. He offered Bill $1,500 in advance royalties toward the proposed publication. However, though this offer spurred the group on to greater effort, Bill was in doubt. out. He feared by accepting the offer, there was a strong possibility that the book might become the manual and text for the new organization, and were that to happen, the guiding of the organization would be in the hands of outside interests. Then a new element was added, Henry P., strategist, promoter, and idea man. He came up with a suggestion that they incorporate and sell stock in a small publishing company and get the money to publish this book. Objections were raised, but Henry argued them all down. One day he went to a stationery store, purchased blank certificates, filled them in, and signed them, Henry P., President, and began selling them at $25 a share, and they were in business as Works Publishing Incorporated. Chapter 3 and 4 were written in Henry's office, where Bill could work in quiet and concentrate on the text. Henry had a very plush office, a secretary, Ruth Hawk, a large imposing desk, and no business. Finally, Bill was ready to draft chapter 5, how it works. He looked closely at the six steps they were then using. The Oxford Group had operated from the concepts of the absolutes. Absolute love, absolute purity, absolute unselfishness, absolute honesty. The New York Group had pulled out of the Oxford Group and were now operating from the following steps. One, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol. Two, we made a moral inventory of our defects and sins. sins. Three, we confessed or shared our shortcomings with another person in confidence. Four, we made restitution to all those we had harmed by our drinking. Five, we tried to help other alcoholics with no thought or reward in money or prestige. Six, we prayed to whatever God we thought there was for power to practice these precepts. Bill felt a need for more four steps, and that there be no loophole for the alcoholic. The steps needed to be clear, definite, and concise as possible. For some time Dr. Bob had been emphasizing the fact that the alcoholic had both a physical allergy and a mental compulsion. So Bill set about drafting the Twelve Steps of the program as he thought. He relaxed and asked for guidance. He started to write, and in about one-half an hour he came up with the Twelve steps. Without any special rhyme or reason, Bill connected these with the twelve apostles. The play deals with the direct formulation of the Twelve Steps by those men who, by virtue of having become stockholders in the publication of the book were instrumental in the final drafting. The twelve steps actually took three months to complete, but the play telescopes the various meetings into two, set in the latter part of 1938. Of the men involved, the liberal element was represented by Bill W., Howard A., a boon companion of Bill's with two years' sobriety, and Joe S., friend of Howard's with three months' sobriety. The conservatives were represented by Paul Kay, early New York member, and Fitz M., an Episcopal minister's son, and the second man in the New York group to recover. These two were religious and demanded that the Twelve Steps be presented along strictly theological lines. Directly and violently opposed were the two radicals Henry P., professed atheist, and Jim B. Salesman. Sounds like a business meeting. Henry's secretary, Ruth Hawk, though not an alcoholic, provided many ideas for the book and acted as a leveler and arbiter of the rampant emotionalism of group members. Another peacemaker and staunch supporter quarter with Bill's wife, Lois. As the play opens, Bill W. has just arrived home, tired and discouraged. He has just about finished drafting the 12 steps as he saw them, but he is disheartened. He and his wife talk concerning his responsibilities. Yeah, you heard me come in all right. I'm awfully tired. I just came from Henry's office. I've been working all day on this draft for Chapter 5 and I'm bushed. What's the use? Oh, no one will care. And it's so difficult to put this thing down in words. It's been so long in the writing. I feel I'm not getting anywhere. And even if I did finish, who cares? I think I'll just forget the whole thing. I care and you care and you can't quit, you're tired. Now is the moment when you need your courage the most. And now is the moment when it's the lowest. If it hadn't been for you Lois and Ruth and Henry I wouldn't have gotten this near. Now you rest for a while and I'll go get you some coffee. Come in Oh Howard How are you doing Sit down Yeah come on in How many days You got now 30 Yeah great Great Sit down Sit down Yeah that's great Men, I have just finished drafting the twelve steps for the recovery of an alcoholic. I want to know what you think of them. I'll read these to you here. You can look at them, Howard. Howard. 1. We admitted we were illicit, that we were powerless over alcohol. 2. Came to believe in God and that he would restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. 4. Made the moral inventory of our defects for sin. Five, admit it to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. Six, we ask God to remove our defects of character. Seven, got on our knees and asked God to move our shortcomings. Eight, we made restitution of those we harmed while drinking. 9. Made direct demands to the list of people we had harmed. 10. Continued to take a personal inventory and ask God's daily guidance. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the the power to carry that out. Twelve, having had a spiritual experience and a vision from God as the result of these steps, we must carry this message to other alcoholics and to practice these principles in everything we do. Hey, that's pretty good, Phil. You sure put a lot of time and thought on this, but why twelve steps? Why not six like we have? Well, we agreed that these steps ought to be more explicit and not leave any holes. An alcoholic is the world's best for finding a way not to stay away from that first drink. Also, I kind of somehow got these steps associated with the Twelve Apostles. Yeah, but I see some trouble I had. There's one thing that's going to upset a lot of people. You have too much God in some steps. The alcoholics won't go for that stuff. No, I haven't. I prayed a long time before I started these, and believe me, in less than half an hour I had them written down. I know they were given to me by God. They stay as they are written because God gave them to us. You've got to get on your knees in step seven. Do you mean to just get on their knees to have their shortcomings removed. In the first place, they won't get on their knees. And in the second place, they don't really want their shortcoming removed. They think they are having too much fun. Joe, we've got to have more spirituality in this program. One of the troubles with alcoholics is that they refuse to get on our knees to anyone or anything. Well, Bill, most of this stuff sounds good, real good, Bill. But you could just soften it a bit, tone it down some. It's pretty stiff for a bunch of guys who haven't been thinking of anything but a bottle for a long time. Henry won't like it. And I can just hear Jim scream like somebody stepped on his toes when he hears it. Say, I've been around here for only a few months, but I've heard some of you say you wish Jim would get drunk so you wouldn't have to listen to his troublemaking anymore. All kidding aside, Bill, there will be lots of alcoholics who are atheists who will balk at this God talk. It's possible they won't even try the program. No, sir. I won't give in. The 12 steps stay as written. You're bullheaded, Bill. You can't force people to accept God. Bill, you ought to at least talk it over with someone. You're not allowing for any personal choice. Everyone ought to be allowed to express his own opinion. you. Maybe I'm wrong, Bill, but maybe you are too. Why don't you get some other ideas about it? All right, I'll do that at least. We'll call a meeting of the stockholders in our little publishing venture and I'll read it to them and see what they say. But I don't think anyone can change my mind. I'm certain that these steps were given to me by God and I don't think they should be changed. Not one word. It's awful late, gentlemen. Everyone have a cup of coffee and simmer down a bit. Well, fellas, I guess Lois is right. Let's call it a night. I'll contact the others and we'll meet here again tomorrow night. In the meantime, remember to be three about all of this. So in scene one of our little play and it's now the next night it's the shortest night you've ever had probably the only one you ever remembered early on but we made it short so we wouldn't lose your interest in scene two present will be Bill W W. Henry P., Paul K., Fitz M., Howard A., Joe S., and Lois. You ready? Somebody's at the door. Come in, come in. Come on in, you guys. It takes a while for Alkies to come in out of the cold. How are you? I'm doing good. Hey Joe, how are you doing? How are ya doing, Joe? Good to see you. It's over, huh? 32 days. Wow, that's good. How are you doing? Pretty good, Paul. How are you? I'm so glad that I am here. You bet. Praise God. You bet Are you still on the mission? Yeah. Good. And that's the only thing to do. That's right. How are you getting along, Pat? Pretty good. I've got two cups of coffee. Well, gentlemen, before we get going here, Hank and I really have some very important news. Haley, how about telling the fellows about it? Sure will, Bill. Gentlemen, Bill and I were up to see the editor of Reader's Digest this afternoon, and the Digest gave us a send-off on our book when we get it printed. It just so happens I have some Works Publishing Incorporated stock with me, and if I'll get you ten, at least that, this stock will go to a hundred bucks when Reader'S Digest gets a word out. Yeah, right. Reader's Digest, huh? With their circulation, boy, that's a ten-strike on our side. See there? God does do many, many things for us. Praise the Lord. Bet. Well, Henry, I sure wish I could buy some more stocks, but I sure do have a bad case of financial-itis right now. That's all around good news, But I have some that Joe has, too. Well, you know, Henry, didn't you tell me you've got a way for us to finance that stock? Because $25 is a lot of money right now. Yes, I do. So let's hear it in this group. Five bucks down, five bucks a week. But further in the outsiders, it's $25 cash on the line. Cash on the barrel somewhere. Okay. Pretty good. Well, okay, here is what I have. Ruth, will you take some notes for us, please? Chapter 5, how it works. Never have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who don't recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. Usually the guy that is constitutionally incapable of being honest. There are such people, but they're not to blame. They seem to have been born that way. They are just naturally, incapably of being honest. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders. But many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Our story is disclosed in a general way what we were like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you must take these steps at some of these we bought we thought we could find an easier, softer way but we could not with all the earnestness in our command we beg of you to be fearless from the very start remember that we deal with alcohol cunning, baffling, powerful without help it is too much for us but there is one who has all power that one is God may you find him now half measures availed us nothing we stood at the turning point we asked God's protection and care with complete abandon now here are the steps we took as a program of recovery well group what do you think what do we you think of the preamble before we go into the steps Bill you've got positively got too much God in this preample well Henry Henry, I think we've got to have a spiritual program. How are you going to have any spirituality without mentioning God? The alcoholic has got to be a spiritual person. He's got to live by a new way of life. Something to liveby is what he needs. And inasmuch as this chapter is the very backbone of our book and our program, we must put ourselves in some other hands. Hands that are much more strong than any human hand. Invisible hands. God's hands. Well, bless you, Bill. Boy, those are words direct from our blessed Jesus Christ. I think it's all just great and gave unto you from God his very self. You take God out of this program and you're going to have nothing. You bet, Bill, you're so right. Really, you should mention more of God. Jesus said, glorify me before men and I'll glorify you to my Father who is in heaven. I think there should be more quotations from the Bible. Amen, brother. Amen. Praise the Lord. Hell, I can't see this guy's stuff. Alcoholics ain't going to buy that stuff. I want this book to sell. Let's sell a million copies. A million copies, a million bucks. I think if you delete God and this book completely you're going to have a book any drunk will buy. Bill, may I say something? Go ahead, Howard. Henry, Bill has a lot of good stuff in this preamble. I'll admit it should be toned down some, but I do agree with Paul, Fritz, and Bill that this is the backbone of the program and I don't see how there can be any kind of new way of life without God. I agree with him too. Henry, you see, we aren't all wrong. Give a little. That Irish in you and those mixed emotions you have give you some pretty snap decisions sometimes. Well, maybe so, Bill. It's just my opinion, you know. At least I believe that right in the very first sentence you said, never have we seen a person fail. Sounds like we were bragging. In other words, anybody who joins us will stay sober if he follows our path. Yeah, and a good many have already gone out and got drunk, you know. If you would say rarely, it would start Chapter 5 out much better. Yes, Hank, I'll admit we left to make some minor changes. That's what we're here for tonight. Ruth, you've been taking notes, haven't you? Sure have, Bill. Thank you, Ruth. Do you have any ideas? Well, I think the idea of starting out with rarely instead of never sounds really much better. Because he's right. We can't say never. There will be some people who will go out. So I like the way it says when you say, Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not are people who cannot or will not give themselves to this simple program. Usually the guy... Well, Bill, I believe this should read men and women. As I surely believe there are going to be women as well as men in this program. Oh, no. No, Ruth. Just wait a minute. Women? Women drugs? In other ways, some of your ideas are just as wild as Henry's. It just does not seem possible to me that we have women in this program. Better not be too dogmatic about that, Bill. I've seen plenty of them in my day, drunken babes in my days. Could be, could be. You know, Ruth might have something there, Bill. We'd better leave the door open rather than be sorry later on. Bill, it can't do any harm to take Ruth's suggestion there. Bill, I have a hunch that it's the female intuition that we're dealing with here. Better go along with it. Well, I'm not dead set against the idea, that's for sure. It just sounded a little outlandish to me when I first heard her say it. But if the group here thinks it's a good idea, then I'll go along. Okay, so what are we? Usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. With themselves? This is a selfish program, you know. Okay, what do you think, Bill? Yes, Ruth, with themselves, Bill, back there a bit where you refer to people who are incapable of being honest. You say there are such people, but they're not to blame. You know, I believe I'd say they are such unfortunates. They're not at fault. They seem to have been born that way. They're just naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. I'd say right in there, their chances are less than average right in their tomb. Great, Paul. Ruth, did you get that? Yeah, Bill, I got it. Bill? that grave emotional disorder should be grave emotional and mental disorders we are all here because we're not all there in the first place okay okay Henry we'll put that in there Phil I'd like to suggest changing what we were like to what we used to be like it sounds better to me well yes Ruth it does seem it makes it a little more emphatic if you have decided what you want and we have what you want, you must take certain steps I was just wondering Joe's right I don't think we should have any muffs in AA Right, you can't drive an Alki Okay gang, we shall say then you are ready to take certain steps That one is God, that rocks me man I don' t think we'll ever sell this book to anybody, much less an alcoholic. Then we ask God's protection. You know, Bill, we could say ask His protection. All right, we'll change God's protection to His protection, but that one is God, may you find Him now, stays as is. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord. Praise the lord, Bill. That's right. You know Bill, Bill, I'd suggest that here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery. It removes the force or the must. Yes, Fitz, I believe you're right. Ruth, can you add that? No problem at all, Bill. Well, we are now to these steps I've drafted. I will read them one at a time. We will and can discuss, augur, and add to them as we go along. you're going to find me very much set in my ways on this draft please bear with me because I think you will agree that they will be the backbone of our newly found program my first step is we admitted that we were licked that we are powerless over alcohol one drink and just one more than another and then on and on I just can't stop. I'm powerless to stop, and that's that very first one that starts the whole bit. I am powerless over alcohol. I have the same reaction as Henry in every bout I have had. It all boils down to the very first drink, and I never even looked at it that way before. But what kind of manager are we while we are drinking? I would say that alcohol is a big part of managing our lives. well with alcohol I am powerless plus unmanageable but you know something with God on my side and not drinking I can manage life my life praise the good Lord I don't ever have to drink anymore and I know through the blessed Jesus Christ that he'll will carry me through on that very first drink I know he will help me not to do so. Well, it seems to me here on this first step that you are powerless plus unmanageable of your life. So I suggest a step to read like this. We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanangeable. What's your reaction to that? Well, we certainly do admit that we're powerless over Alcohol. That's the name of the game. and it logically follows that this lack of power over alcohol will make our lives a real mess and if our lives are messed up as they are we certainly can't manage them ruth i believe you put it in better words than i originally had it thank you bill bill you just can't improve on it the way truth has it. Hey, I think this might be our very first step. We could knick back this step for an hour and not come up with a better way to express it. I'm satisfied with it. I'm real new on this program, but powerless and unmanageable fits me like a glove. I can go along with that language. There's no mention of God in it, so it can't hurt you at all for good. This is real good. It's our first step We're on our way now. I believe that one day many sick alcoholics will take this first step in its entirety. And if they only do, it will open to them a new way of life, a start to new horizons, new true friends and a full life of total sobriety. Now fellas, here's what I have for step number two. What the hell is going on around here? Jesus Christ, you guys started already? Don't I count for anything around here Could you have at least waited a few minutes? Well Jim We have a lot to do tonight So we started on time I figured if you weren't coming That figures I think a bunch of these holy rovers over here were hoping I wouldn't show up. The only three words these two guys know since they got sober is, Praise the Lord! Jim, why do you take the Lord's name in vain so? May God forgive you. Oh, go to hell. Praise the lord. You know, Jim, I hope that someday you too will learn these words. Praise the Lord and save them from your very heart. Remember when Jesus said, Saul, Saul why persecute thou me? And Saul fell to his knees and became apostle of Jesus and one of his greatest followers. Oh praise the Lord Jim. I hope you'll see that. Jim be a good boy and sit down. Let's get on with our stuff. Bill for you I will but as far as I'm concerned these two holy rollers can still go to hell. Okay. Well, I started to read Step 2 when Jim came in. Here's what I have. We came to believe in God and that he could remove us, he could restore us to sanity. Oh boy. What if this came to believing God? Why hell, them Holy Rollers even got Bill in a trance. Oh thanks. You know, I've been sitting here carrying all this God stuff, and I've had my way. I deleted it entirely. But this gang has sold me, and it's the only way to reach the alcoholic. I sure want to see this book go. I'll sure like the looks of those greenbacks when they start rolling in. Well, Hank, you ain't going to see no greenbacks with that kind of crud in it because there won't be over 100 copies sold. King to believe in God. Come on, guys. Let's carry on, shall we? You know, God will restore us to sanity if we believe in him. That's about what you said there, Bill. I don't believe that we should be so persuasive. My theory is that we shouldn't believe in God. We should let the alcoholic choose for himself the power to help him. There are gentlemen, Henry, that do not believe in the gods, but I think they will come someday. I think we will choose some power greater than ourselves. What I have gathered here, men, is that maybe we could modify this step. Bill, I think Joe and Howard have a good idea there. Okay, Ruth, what do you suggest? Well, how about, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. That sounds a lot better to me. Yes, me too. I believe Ruth has the answer to step two. They came to belief in this power, and later they will choose to call him God. I would not change what Bill has set down, because God gave him them steps and they should stay as is. I feel the same way as Paul, but it seems our group conscience is what Ruth has written, so I'll compromise. It will be our step two. Now for our third step I have here. made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. What? God? I don't understand this. How in hell are you going to turn your life over to something you don't know anything about? I'll back Jim up on that. Well, I do think here that we should take some kind of a decision and put our problem in God's hands. This stuff is good for me. It sort of opens the gate for us to a spiritual way of life. Make a decision to the blessed Jesus Christ. He'll carry you through. Amen to that. Praise the Lord. On bended knees, pray. Pray to the Blessed Jesus and receive his blessing. Whoa, whoa, what is this? Is this a meeting for drunks or is this a prayer meeting for the God-fearing Holy Roller? Show me the average drunk on his knees and I'll show you the sun rising in California and setting in New York. Listen, man. He's probably seen that a couple times. Hey, hey. Okay. A little smile. Listen, men. Get a little smile on your face. Tim does have a point there. Maybe we should say, as we understand him. What do you think? God as we understanding him. All right. Okay. All right, that nails down to step three. It will be God as we understand it. Now for step four I have here, made a moral inventory of our defects or sins. This step is far from complete and is going to require considerable changes. So let's go around the table and discuss it. What do you think, Howard? Well, an inventory is sure very necessary. But will it scare us back to the opening of the bottle When I think of some of the things I did, it scares me. Fitz? Search out yourself and you will find yourself. Let not your hearts be troubled. Come to me and I will give you peace. These are God's words to us. We should not be afraid. Henry? As I see this, Steph, I too think it is very important. I also think that we should collect the good of us with the bad. It will relieve a lot of the fears. After all, we're not all bad, you know. Jim? This step leaves me out in the cold. That defects or sins bit has a lot of that God stuff hovering all over it. Huh? If you just count your many blessings and see what God has done for you, that's all I ask from this step. Ruth, have you any ideas from what you've heard on this step? Yes, Phil. I have detected fear a considerable amount, which the alcoholic shouldn't have. I have also noted that we should search out our good and our bad, and so perhaps the step might better be made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Fellow members, this pleases me. How do you feel about this step? Howard? Maybe I am too concerned about this being scared by an inventory. I guess the only way to get over this fear is to bring it out into the open. Fitz? I repeat, we should not be afraid. A moral inventory is absolutely essential. And Ruth, that's an excellent way of putting it. Henry? We all know we all have faults and I sure have. Only by contrasting our faults with our good points will we ever know where we stand. Jim? I'll go along with Ruth, but I can balance my own record without a let God bid. Paul? As Bill first read it, and as Ruth has improved on it, It's just right with me. Regardless of what Jim says, we can't hide anything from our blessed Jesus Christ. Amen, Vince. Praise the Lord. Well then, that's step four. May the searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. That's my personal belief that step five is a very important and personal step. I have meditated a great deal on this step and am in hopes it can be written as is. Here's what I have, admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. Don't you want to say God as we understand him in there? I say no on this one, Jim. After all, we've compromised on many occasions for you and Henry. Surely you two can sway our way once in a while. Well, I tried anyway. Well, all I hope is that it doesn't stop the sale of the book. Gentlemen, you know, I sit here in the middle of this writing of the foot and the liberals and the radicals, the leftists and the right wing and also the Akron group are all around me. I feel I should at least have the right to be the final judge on what is written in this book. Well, certainly there's no man among us that has given more time and devotion to this book than Bill. Why shouldn't he be given the final say? I'll go a step further and make a motion that Bill be the final judge if we find ourselves in disagreement. Agreed. I'll second that motion. Great. Gentlemen, what's your pleasure? I am okay. Sure. I thank you very much for that. As for step six, I have. We ask God to remove all these defects of character. This stuff I cannot see. As of now, I'm not willing to ask God anything. Maybe someday I'll see it your way, but right now I don't. Like Henry, I don't see it either. And I don' t think very many alcoholics are going to see it. No, you' re absolutely right. They may not see it now. But I feel very strongly that in time, if they work this set of steps, they will become willing to ask God for help. Yes, sir. I too say that one day they will be entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. Amen. Sounds like to me that this step could read, We're entirely ready. This sounds much better to me. Removes the pressure and a must. Well, this step isn't too difficult to change. Let's say here we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Now do I have agreement? Yeah. You bet. Entirely ready to Have God Remove All These Defects of Character. Now do I have agreement? Yeah. Very good. Great. Okay, some time ago I ran into a very heated debate on Step 7. But I still think that I am right in what I have put down here. I expect more bird fly on this step, so hold your tempers and bear with me. We ask God on our knees to remove our shortcomings. Praise the Lord, Bill. What praise the Lord. You're really and truly inspired by the blessings of Jesus Christ. Get on your knees and be humble when you talk to God. Amen on me. Praise the lord. Praise the laud. You bet. That's so good, Bill, seeking you will find. This step I say amen. Praise the lords. Wow, what an order. What an order plus there goes our book shot all to hell. You guys make me sick You've been talking all night about God Now on your knees Jim will back me up on this God bit I ain't got no God These things are Greek to me The sun comes up, the moon goes down And that's just law The winds blow, it rains, hails, snows There are nice clear days And it's just plain law Nature, old mother nature Stars, earth, moon and sun Just plain law I can't stand this I don't blame you Henry Bill, I've got to back Henry up on this. What in the hell is the matter with you guys? I've never gotten down on my knees and I don't intend to. And if you think you're going to get a bunch of drunks to start doing it with the idea it's going to keep them sober, you're just plain nuts. If you insist on sticking God in these steps, it's got to be God as we understand him or we're all going to be drunk. God almighty, I can't understand him. Well, I don' t know what they're talking about. Now, I don't think in there, Jim, either one of us got any business here, really. I think we're getting far out of it and there ain't no right to be. You know, I agree with Paul. You know we're hearing this night after night and I'm tired of it. I think they should just be kicked out of the fellowship. Yes, sir. Oh, boy. Well, I know. How can you work any one of these steps and have this kind of thinking toward a sick human being? I also don't think that you are going to get a bunch of drunks on their knees. Who are we to judge anyone anyway? Yeah, who are we to tell who's going to stay sober and who isn't? Are we going to pick whom we want in our group? Well, let's be A.A.? Well, I'll tell you what. I just merely voice my opinion. This happens to be the way I believe. And I, too, came from Towns Hospital. But I've been able, through this fellowship, to remain sober this past year. What are you going to do about that? Just kick me back to skin row? I don't think you can kick us out. Your conscience won't permit you to. Yeah. Let them talk on. Let them get it off their chests. They need us, and we need them. We can't kick anybody out. If they have a desire to stay sober, that's the only requirement for membership. I've got too much money in this to get out now. You know, Jim, I'm sorry. Henry, I ask your forgiveness for being so unfair and unjust. You're right. You have been able to stay sober a year. Yes. I too must ask your forgiveness. There's a little bit wrong there. A little bit. A little. Okay. Okay, now gentlemen, if we are in accord again, maybe we can resume our discussion on this step. Jim and Henry have just related to me that we will have many in our program who have no God except the bottle. But they do have one thing which we all here have in common and that is a desire to stop drinking. And this, gentlemen, is the one and only purpose that we have. In other words, our purpose is to help them stay sober no matter how we do it or how we believe. While I am thoroughly convinced that we must have some power greater than ourselves to help us to refrain from reaching for that first drink, Jim and Henry do not now see it that way. Anyway, give them time, and I am positive that they too will believe in this power the same as we do. Bill, you know, Paul and Fitz have both asked Hank and I for forgiveness. You know, bless their holy roller hearts. I want to thank them for that. So, Paul, Fitz, I do forgive you. Let's shake on it. Yeah, you do. Well, Jim, I forgive them too. Paul? Well, God love you both, I'll say it all. Bill, in that seventh step there maybe we should do a bit of compromising on the knees bit but I do think though that we should have humility in working this program surely we can be a little bit humble about the good what graces that we've found in this new way of life. Listen, man, why don't we do as Paul suggests? Instead of going on bended knee, why not omit that and say humbly, ask him? I suppose I should give in a little on this step. After all, it is sort of severe for a drunk. Well, I kind of feel this step should stay as written. You got this direct from God. Now, I think this step could be better. It should not be changed. I think Ruth has the answer to this step, So do I. You know, I'll go along with it. I'll beat the hell out of getting down on your knees and it may save the book. Yeah, it might save the books. Let's see. Ruth, would you read that step back to me, please? Sure. With changes, it says, humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. Well, it's far from what I have here, but the group seems to favor this step as you have it there, so I'll concede to what Ruth has for step seven. us, but under protest, mind you. Now on step eight, here's what I ask. We made restitution to those we harmed while drinking. We paid restitution? What in hell is restitution I mean, outside of the Bible, it sounds very biblical to me. I wonder how old Webster defines it. Well, Henry, I think it's a polished word for a floor mat. Of course, these holy rollers here know that the stuff you use for turning your other cheek. Restitution sounds like a lot of polished God stuff to me. No, fellas. We have practically the same, or it is the same as our fourth step. We're not saying anything here that we haven't been using right along. Hell, Bill, I never did or never will use that step. You know, Jim, you don't know it, but you've already used this very step. What? Remember when we shook hands a few minutes to go, that's restitution. In other words, it isn't being a floor man. No sir, I won't buy that. It's more of a house cleaning of your soul. It is a step that we cannot leave out. It's very essential to us alcoholics to clean our mouths and not be dumb. You know, Jim McBill, Jesus said if you're right hand and bothers you, says, cut it off. That's the left hand side. Not this way. Not this area. Right out of those of you. And what Jesus really means there is clean your soul. Be free and make amends to your fellow men you have harmed. You know, man, I learn a great deal from you good people. For a suggestion on this eighth step, I have gathered this, that we make amends to those we harmed. Man, I've harmed a great many people, more than I'll ever get time in this life to make amens to, but I'm sure willing to do, to try. We could say in this eighth steps, make amENS to people you had harmed, as Ruth just mentioned. Well, you know, as Paul said before, seek and ye shall find. but you ought to get a pencil and a paper and make a list of the people you did harm to be sure you don't forget any of them either and go to them and to God and ask their forgiveness as Paul said a moment ago clean your soul become a free man Amen brother, amen Praise the Lord Now Jim don't let personalities clash here let's be peaceable Ruth, I believe here we should make Step 8 like this. Made a list of all persons we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Well, that should be real good. It covers about everything we've discussed here. Is that what you want, Bill? And if so, I'll get it down as you say. I think this is okay for the 8th step, but it's almost like my 9th step that I have here on the draft. But we will proceed with Step 9 and possibly rectify it to tie in with Step 8, as this, I believe, is one of the most important steps for staying sober. So let's move on to Step 9. Now for Step number 9 I have here on the draft, may direct amendments to the list of people we harm. Man, this fleet of steps is sure going to keep a man on his toes. If he isn't on his knees praying, him. He's on his knees making amends to his enemies. Well, maybe you can stay sober, but at least you aren't going to have very much time to spend with a bottle. That suits me fine. I'll stand on my head if it keeps you from taking that first drink. Bill, I know this making amens is good. This housecleaning is completely necessary, but there are some amends that if I made would certainly lead to very much injury to me. Not only me, but to other innocent people. It's a big order, Bill. Yeah, man, just like me going over to the next apartment to make amends to Herb because I got all drunk and stepped out with his wife. And hell, he just didn't use any judgment at all. Man, he bust me square in the nose and closed both my eyes. Not only that, but he beat the hell out of Lucy to boot. You didn't get it off your chest. You paid through the nose. that's awful I don't know about that I think we should use our better judgment in some of these amends I say go to Jesus and ask his advice he will guide you and protect you from the men that would harm you or others well Ruth you see step 9 is going to have to be rectified alright right. Have you gathered any ideas here for any changes? I can see several good points here. We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Yes, I gather from the discussion on injury and harm that some amends are going to become difficult to do. So probably what you have there, Bill, is right. Make direct amens to people wherever impossible, except went to do, so would injure them or others what's your pleasure how about it man what do you say joel it makes it more comfortable for me and it still doesn't weaken the basic idea of making amends howard i like it because it gives a personal chance to make a personal judgment bitch yeah we don't want to make amends and then find out we've hurt someone it makes sense yeah i'll buy it just just as long as I don't have to make my men's unbended knees. It's about the most sensible change we've made all evening. Mom? I think it's just a suggested change that's just great, Bill. More and more I can see this group taking on the real meaning of spirituality. Okay, we have step nine in good order. Now we're up to the tenth step. step. This step will have to be altered also, as we have changed so many of the previous ones that it will throw this step out of line as Step 8 was. But when I drew the draft of the original steps, I thought that it fit in real good. To me, they were in very good sequence. Gentlemen, Step 10. Continue to take a personal inventory and ask God's guidance daily. You see, I think we should search ourselves each day and ask God to direct our steps in life for this new day. Step 10 would prepare us in reality for our next step, number 11. So I'm going to throw step 10 on the table and see what the group here tonight feels about it. Let's start off with you, Henry. Thank you, Bill. Now, the first part of that step, continue to take a personal inventory. Torrey. This is, I think, good. How am I doing? Is my ego inflating? Am I doing the proper things to stay sober? If in these questions which I ask myself, I find I have an error, shouldn't I myself do something about it? But as to the Ask God's Guidance Daily a bit, as far as I'm concerned, that need not even be there. That's my opinion, Bill. Thank you, Henry. By the way, you have a right to your own opinion. In fact, what we do or say, gentlemen, is strictly our own opinion Now, Paul, what do you think of this tenth step? Well, Bill, you know that I am in agreement with all those steps you wrote because I feel that they were given to you by God. And they should be in the book just as you received them. Okay, Paul. What about you, Fitz? Well, Phil, you're right. Well, you see, Phil Bill, you know we're all born with sin, so naturally we should be on guard. And when we do get sober, we may get lax. So to continue with a personal inventory is necessary, and it is also a known fact that we are going to think wrong at times. Now we are sober, and I believe we know right from wrong. But God leaves this up to us. You know, we go out in the garden in the spring and plant potatoes. Well, God sees that they bloom, grow, and multiply. And many more potatoes are available to us now. Now if we want potatoes, we plant them. If we want to eat them, we've got to dig them up. God is not going to dig him up for us. The point I'm trying to put across here is to continue to take a personal inventory. And if we find in this inventory we are wrong, our thinking begins to stink. I say here to do something about it ourselves. Now, today, God leaves it up to us here, Bill. Bill, I think we should change the last part of Step 10 and not rely on God to do the things that we must do ourselves. You see, God helps those who are willing to help themselves. That's my opinion, Bill. Real good, Fitz. Thank you. Well, Jim, what reaction would you take on this 10th step? Well, Bill, I think you've got a pretty good idea of my reaction, or let's say my action. You know, that's what Fitz just said about our thinking begins to sink slays me. But by dragons and saints and angels, he's right? Well, I'm going to call it just plain stinkin' thinkin'. And I mean some of the thinkin' I do really stinks. And like old Fitz says about diggin' them Irish cobblers, it's damn good philosophy, too. Of course, the main action I take in this step is to get God's stuff clear out of it. But I do believe that continuing our personal inventory is mighty important to our sobriety. But when Fitz's stinkin', thinkin', creeps into our minds, It's time to do something about it then and there. Think clean, think sobriety, think positive. Think, think, think. And when you're wrong, admit it. Bill, this is a good step. This is one of the best steps you have on the list. And for a lush like me, I'm sure going to use this step. In fact, I may even believe in this God you guys keep talking about through this step, but that's my opinion, Bill. Gosh, man, I'm flabbergasted. Coming from you, Jim. And to think we were contemplating some way to get our boy Jim out of the foundation. And here he comes up with the tenth step as I have written it down here to read. Continue to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong, properly admit it. Now, good people, what do you think? Howard? I vote elegant, printed. Joe? Well, I sure would follow suit here, too. Ruth? I have a down bill, as you last quoted. I knew that would pass with this group. Okay, well, boys, it's getting pretty late. If you're all as tired as I am, you probably want to call it night. We're close to finishing the 12 steps, but the last two are vitally important. So I suggest we get some rest and come back tomorrow night to complete the job. Good idea It's going to be another one of those short nights I can tell everybody here is an alcoholic Still got the same clothes on Anyway, the group returns the next night To finish off the writing Of the 12 steps of the program Hey, how about that? Well, we have to because we've got to keep going, you know. You bet. Well, you published the book. Fitz, what did we do about that you were going to take a run to the Library of Congress? We were goingto publish the book, Way Out or something like that. What happened on that? Well, Bill, I went up to the Library of Congress and checked it out, and there are 12 books entitled The Way Out. Oh, really? And my 13 is a spiritually superstitious number. Right. No, so what I did, we kind of got together and we contacted Dr. Bob and the group up there and talked it over. and we've decided to call the book Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill Wilson read my head look Anonymous by Bill W right and we took a vote we voted and it was unanimous We haven't got your vote yet. You'll get a vote, but it is unanimous that we decided to call the book Alcoholics Anonymous. Great book. I like it. Bill W. Sounds good. Where can we take this book to sell it? I mean, you know. Oh, yeah. Go out to the West Coast and sell in California. Yeah, you can sell a lot in California too. They got alcoholics in California? Yeah, they keep them up in that northern California coastal area. There you go. Up in Santa Rosa, I think. Yeah, put them in Santa Roma and keep them one place. And we're all wine drinkers. You can sell anything up there. Californians will buy anything. Yeah. Okay, well in the past two and a half months we've argued and discussed, altered, added, taken out and installed new words, even sentences. Really hashed around these past ten steps. And I certainly think this group has come up with the very flexible program for the alcoholic. Strictly a set of steps that can be worked by any individual, regardless of race, religion, belief, or creed. In these past ten steps we have learned a new way of life, how to live and let live, howto think, think,think, think, how to make decisions, amend, and how to live a useful, normal, sober life with both pride and humility. But for the grace of God are we here tonight. The next two steps are continuing our way of life. I have been studying them over and believe very few changes changes are necessary. In fact, I'm going to add for the benefit of Jim and Henry, God as we understand him. Now here's what I've drawn up for step number 11. It's all through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. Now the addition here is our contact act with God as we understand him. This liberalizes the step, and I think it's good, and I concede to Jim and Henry for this phrase. Fitz, what's your opinion of this step with the addition? Well, this step as you have it there, in my estimation, is the key to the entire program. Seek the Lord and you will find your own peace of mind. Set aside a given amount of your time each day for meditation. Pray to your God as you understand him, and you will come to know him and understand. You will come to know God's will for you, and he will give you that power to carry it out. Bill, I say amen to step 11. Thanks, Beth. What do you say, Henry? Well, I think it is rated fairly good, as most of the gentlemen here, and as much as you have added God as we understand him. Since I am very eager to get this book published, I'll go along with and I'll go along. The situation in Europe is becoming more serious. It looks to me like Hitler is in grave danger to our freedom, and we just might get into this war yet. So I say the sooner we can publish this book, the better. So I'll vote okay on this step as you have it there, Bill. Joe, what about you? I think it is a great step, Bill It's a well-placed step but also a key step, as Fitz pointed out. I concur with you on this one. Okay, Joe. Well, Jim, old boy, have you any kick on this 11th step? You know, to my surprise, I sort of like it. I'm glad that you added that God as you understand him stuff. That really helps me the way I see this program. So I'll go along with step 11 without any kick. Well, learning from Jim, I'm really surprised. No, gang, not really. I think Jim is beginning to get the spiritual part of our program. Any comments from you, Paul? Yes, Bill. And God loved you for step 11. And God does love you. That's why he gave you step 11 and it is our most important step. Set aside daily a few moments of meditation with God and you will come to know what God's will is for you and you shall receive the power to carry that out. You will come zu know Go and understand God if you will just work this step. Jesus! I see a lot of progress in Jim and Henry. Well, and in all of us. After all, you know, we're not saints. We will never be perfect. But nothing should stop us from progressing spiritually a day at a time. I'll go along on these steps, Bill. I say amen to step 11. Paul, I thank you. You gave me a lot of encouragement on our book. Now, Howard, we haven't heard from you yet. I'm in full accord. I don't think I could add or delete anything to the opinion of the rest of the fellows here. It's all around good, though. Okay, Howard. Ruth, you're the steno. Have you any comments? Yes, I would like to offer my congratulations to you for a wonderful step and to the rest of the group for their wonderful help. I have it all ready for the typewriter. Thanks, Ruth. You've been so good and have done so much for the writing of this book. I'm very grateful to you. I'm just glad to be able to help. It's been a real pleasure. Okay, now our final step, fellas. Shall we carry on? Yeah. That's all right. step 12 as I have it here is having had a spiritual experience and a vision from God as the result of these steps we must carry this message to other alcoholics and practice these principles in everything that we do now from past experience with the 11 other steps and the various changes we have made, I have changed this step myself to read as follows. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. I have removed the vision and the must as I feel that this is too personal for the vision part And in the past step, we have removed the must. So I've taken out the must in Step 12 also. Now, men, do you think this step is okay? Sounds good to me, Bill. I want to get the book printed and get some dough rolling in. A million books, a million bucks. Yeah? Real good stuff, Bill, and like Henry, I'm anxious to see some proceeds start rolling in Bill, I think Step 12 is well written the way you have it there. I see nothing wrong at all. Now instead of six patron calls, we can call them 12-step calls. I think this book and the program are going to do really good. We probably will make a few dollars from it. Whoa! Praise the Lord! Bill, step 12, as you have changed it there, has a lot in it. There's a huge amount of work in this step, but it is good. And I'll vote that we print it. Good step, Bill. I vote to print it as you have it there. How many books do you think we'll sell, Bill? I believe they'll go real good. I like what Henry said, a million books, a million bucks. But a million is a high figure to be shooting at. That's a hell of a pile of books. I'd say sell them a couple of bucks higher. We don't have to sell so many to make a neat stack of dough. Paul? Well, Bill, I am sure that you know how I feel about your original draft on those steps. You know, if I had my say here that I would not have changed any part of those first 12 steps, but through the conscience here of the group and to have unity among us, I have no alternative but to concur as you have step 12 there. there. But as to the financial end of this book, the money isn't our aim. It's the message to the still-sick alcoholic out there suffering all over these United States. For even this world that counts, if this message could only reach him many, many lives, I feel that that this book about Alcoholics Anonymous will save many, many lives. And I hope that we give this good thing away. That's out of his mind. I'm going to repeat it, Bill. I hopethat we givethis great God-given thing away for him. Well, men, outside of Paul, all aiming for a nice, neat profit on your investment. You have your sights set too high on the amount of books we sell, and you're all thinking of the dollars we're going to make. Now, men, we had this program given to us by our Creator, by our God, as we understand stand him. No, men, it must be freely given away. Yes, there will be the cost to print less enough to secure the copyright. There will be no profit and this book will be read by people, sick people, all over this world. That's my fondest hope, my greatest faith. Good people, I know you feel as I do because of the communication we alcoholics have with one another. To this book we hereby dedicate these twelve steps. One, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. Two, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Three, made the decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood dead hand. Four made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Five admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Six were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Seven humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. Eight made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Nine made direct amendments to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. Ten continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Eleven, sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. Twelve, having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. And so this is the way that the twelve steps of our program were first written with as much adherence as possible to the original writing. There has been a certain amount of imagination as to what was said in the writing of the steps since there were no scripts, tapes or records. But we assure you it was as authentic as possible. We hope you've enjoyed it. And I'd like to present to you the author of our little play, Homer Dee. Well, I sure thank you for this. You great people for attending our 12-step play and to the NCCAA conference for inviting us here. It's been great. I want you to know that 31 years ago this month of June, I attended my first NCCA convention right here in Santa Rosa. Yes, sir. And boy, was I a surprised guy and elated to see 2,000 such nice people that were alcoholics. I couldn't believe it. And it just did not seem so possible that there could be that many ex-drunks in the the world, you know. There was a man talked and he was a great guy. We all, a lot of us know him as Jim M. from up in Sacramento. He was our trustee at one time. I'm positive of that. Anyway, he had 20 minutes to tell how it works. He got up there and he He was comical, very comical man. And he said, 20 minutes on how it works. He said, that's just like putting my little Shetland pony up against Citation, which was the world winner of the races in them days. Anyway, he went through this chapter 5 and how it worked. And as he went Through It, he explained different things. and everybody was laughing, you know, having a great time. I'm sitting down in that first row crying like a baby because it was so, I was so emotional, so emotional. And anyway, that is where I started. I started working my meditation trying to, you now, recite chapter five and how it works without the book. It took me about three months to do it. But I never had to take another drink. That was 31 years ago this month, but I come in Alcoholics Anonymous in April. So you see, I only had May and June in the program, and I was a real new guy here. I just couldn't see it possible. I'm known as that little old wine drinker me. That's my big tie-down. Now, I got the inspiration to write these steps, and I got started at it. And I didn't know where to go, and Betty Ann, she printed it for me. She was my first Ruth Hawk. And I'm sure the people today, this program, these steps take care of themselves. We don't have to worry, but we have to get new people in there sometimes. to do it. And boy, was I short today. Short Henry P. I was short Howard A. No, I had Howard A., but I had to change Howard A., and I was sure of Joe, and I was short of Ruth Hawke, and I was a short of Lois. And these two girls took over. This is their first time at it. So we made mighty few mistakes, but you don't know nothing about that. That's the fortunate part of it. But they all did great, see? They've just done wonderful. And now at this time, I'd like to introduce my group. And I think the best way is just as I introduce them, let them stand, but hold your applause till the end and then let's give them one big applause. laws. That'll be the best. Joe S. is played by Rodney H., and Howard A. is played by, many of you know him, my ex-neighbor Sam. He's not my ex neighbor, he is my neighbor. Sam D. He is also one of my babies. He has got 21 years of variety, too. I like that. Then we have Ruth Hawk. Now, Ruth Hawk was not an alcoholic, but I have hard times keeping people on that were Ellen on. So Ruth Hawk is played by Liz H., and she is an alcoholic. Now Lois, Bill's wife, Lois. Come out there, Sandy, where they can see you. And she's an alcoholic, and she's also one of our secretaries of the Joy Living Group in San Lorenzo, and played by Sandy. I don't know your last initial, honey. But Sandy, that's her name. That's what we call her anyway. And of course then we come to to the man that takes over and has taken over for me and has kept this play going. And it's Walter G. from Livermore. He's our chairman, and when he says jump, we leap all of us. I don't know. Or frog, we generally do the leaping. And then there was Henry T., and he's played by Bill W and this is his first this is His first time playing Bill He's played in the play before but this is His first time and then we had the mean old boy Jim B which I got a lot out of Frank M from Livermore he plays him been with us quite a while too and 50 M has been with me all quite a while it's been I've been in about six, eight years before we got him in but he's been a great Bob P and he narrated for us today too so he's a great guy and then of course there's Paul K this guy that they picked up in the well Homer D played that the only reason Homer D played that was because my daddy Eddie was an evangelist singer for the Holy Roller groups. I never could find it, you know, when he was there. But I, after, I was supposed to be a preacher, according to my mother. So I turned out to be lousy alcoholic. And after I got into AA, this is my part. This is where I do my preaching ever since then. Thank you for this.