The Divine Paradox of Strength Rising From Weakness – Jim W.

recording now so i think he was putting that into the chat so i'm coming in from ireland tonight so i'm just going to say good evening everyone from the republic of irelands my name is david i'm alcoholic uh you're all very welcome here to this uh growing understanding groups history meeting and tonight we've got jim worley's with us and jim is going to be doing one on christmas in alcoholics anonymous history and just before we go over to jim i want to introduce you to stuart Hello, Stuart. Hello, David. That's Stu. Stu is in London. We'll be going over to him for the Q&A with Jim later on. Thank you, Jim Worley, for your time. Now, we've had a – throughout this, since the beginning of this thing on Zoom, we have had a little quote that has kind of been a theme of the meetings and it's asked that we mention it to the speakers and it says, after step nine promises, our next function, of course, is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. and it's as we know we've entered the world of the spirit and it is not an overnight matter so that is on page 84 too and if you would like to unmute yourselves please do we are going to say this version of the set aside prayer and instead of looking for this new experience we are gonna ask you to look for a new understanding how is that how is dat we are just gonna be playing with words here we want you to find a new understanding and please unmute yourselves and we will say this God a few more with silence of course to think of those alcoholics who are still suffering lots of alcoholics still suffering unfortunately from alcoholism and the merciless obsession our families are suffering as well we think of the family members and those alcoholists who were here when we got here we'd like to think of those and those alcoholics are just passing naturally. Thank you. Thank you everyone for your attention again and just to let you know that we have a website it's called growingunderstandinggroup.com and we put all the recordings on that and we have the ones from last night as well with Bill Shearberg writing a big book The Creation of A and we've got and we're going to and we'll have a number of them from Jim Worley who it's always a pleasure to have him be in his company we spend a lot of time on these platforms, Jim. It's great to see you. You bring a smile to me every time I see you, so I wish you well. Have a good meeting. I'm sure you'll enjoy this, everyone. Thank you, Jim." Thank you. David, thank you, everyone, and I enjoy sharing our history, and it's good to be here, and we'll get going here in just a second if I can. I'm going to try this again for some reason, it doesn't want to. All right, we'll do this. Anyway, my name is Jim and Jim Worley and I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety date is March 5th, 1989. And today we're going to talk about the history of Christmas in Alcoholics Anonymous. And we'll try and have a little fun and I hope everyone enjoys the presentation. the December 24th grapevine daily quote says by whatever name we may call it the spirit of Christmas is in us all how best to give and how to receive with ever more gratitude is our common aim we'd like to practice the spirit of Christmas the year around therefore we shall especially ask ourselves at this season what more can we find in order that we shall have more to give and we'll remember uh you know trying to keep with the traditions especially to avoid you know uh sectarian religious uh but this is just the history of christmas and something from a sermon that was preached in 1939 at the end of november by the reverend dilworth lupton he mentioned the fact that universality of religion is recognized by the Alcoholics Anonymous. Their meetings are attended by Catholics, Protestants, Jews, near agnostics and near atheists. There is the utmost tolerance. It seems of no concern to the group with what religious bodies non-churchgoing members eventually identify themselves. Indeed there is no pressure to join any church whatever. What particularly impresses me is the fact that each individual can conceive of the power not himself in whatever terms he pleases. in also in cleveland the hotbed of a growth in the beginning um in the l rick p davis articles uh in the article on october 23rd 1939 there we can read it in yellow the letters are bigger every member of alcoholics anonymous may define god to suit himself god to him may be the christian God defined by the Thomism of the Roman Catholic Church or the stern father of the Calvinist or the great Manitou of the American Indian or the implicit good assumed in the logical morality of Confucius or Allah or Buddha or the Jehovah of the Jews or Christ the scientist or no more than the kindly spirit implicitly assumed in The Atheism of Colonel Robert Ingersoll. so whoever whatever belief or unbelief uh we are all here you know to celebrate to uh whatever this time of the year means to us and and even for the pagans we know you're not religious and you probably only go to on solstices and equinoxes but uh i i uh in in an effort to maintain her anonymity as we do in AA. I won't mention Judy's last name, but I have been requested to sing so you can unplug your headphones, Hugh, or whatever you need to do or whatever but Adeste fidelis Leti triumfantes Venite, venite in Bethlehem Natum videte Regem angelorum Venite adoremus not bad for an old choir boy who didn't have sister aloysius with her with her what they call those the pipe anyway and now for and a happy festivus to the rest of us you know so we'll go on to a little bit of history here's some science history the first psychosurgery procedures in the united states were conducted by doctors walter freeman and james watts in 1936 36 so aa's got some competition here to fix us their 15th lobotomy patient was an alcoholic who had been subjected to this procedure on the grounds that the surgical alteration of personality would alter the patient's pathological craving for alcohol. Following this procedure, the patient dressed up and pulling a hat down over his bandaged head slipped out of the hospital in search of a drink. Freeman and Watts spent Christmas Eve 1936 searching the bars for this patient whom they eventually found and returned to the hospital in a state of extreme intoxication. So even lobotomies don't seem to do much good for us. So we're going to talk today, as I mentioned a little bit about Christmas in AA throughout the years and the things that have happened, you know, everything from Santa in the meetings and Elf on the Shelf and lots of places are decorated for all kinds of reasons at this time of year. and jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way and we have to remember to jingle all away because half jingling avails us nothing. Well, bad jokes, bad singing it's always a good day to be sober. Before we got here some of us drank before we got there and some of them drank after we got here but the important thing is that we're here and uh you know a lot of us have a past and alcohol may have been involved jimmy burwell uh january 8 1938 jimny says that was my d-day the place washington dc this last merry-go-round had started the day before christmas and i had really accomplished a lot in those 14 days first my new wife had walked out bag baggage and furniture then the apartment landlord had thrown me out earl treat says after a particularly bad christmas and new year's holiday dad picked me up again in early in january 37 to go through the usual sobering up routine and pete w who's big book story was rum radio and rebellion proud of my little station and of my new bride i settled down to a happy married life it was to be short-lived for on the day after christmas before Christmas. I completely disillusioned my wife and ruined our first Christmas by coming home from the Rotary lunch dead drunk. About this time, this is Esther from Texas, after being under this doctor's care we decided that there wasn't anything more to do. Every time I got drunk my husband would send me to a nursing home. He hesitated to send me back. I think I disrupted the hospital. Felicia whose story was in the big book says now I had done some living but I hadn't learned anything this was where I started my first drinking lessons up to this time it hadn't occurred to me to drink my Quaker mother-in-law bless her heart used to set the Christmas pudding ablaze with lumps of sugar dipped in rubbing alcohol and Helen she said what's the sense and trying to do the right thing. There was that awful alcoholic loneliness. I went out to a restaurant, found a booth way back in the rear and started drinking. All afternoon I sat there and drank and played Bing Crosby's recording of Silent Night over and over again on the jukebox. To this day, I can't hear that song without remembering that awful Christmas. Dick Stanley, the car crasher, he, in a part that was erased, eliminated from the book, when it was edited, said, even during this period, though I had several opportunities, worked one business selling lots and stayed sober long enough to make several hundred dollars. I had a stake and was going to use it for a fresh start. Had a nice car and enough to tide me through a dull winter. Smashed the car up, kept drinking the reserve until by Christmas I didn't have enough left to buy my children presents. What we were like. And Bill Wilson, before Christmas, he and Lois went to Clinton Street and sat down with her parents. Bill said there were strong rumors he would be headed for France by the end of February, so they wanted to get married before then so they could at least have a short time together. And her parents gave permission and wedding was set for January 24th. In late December around Christmas time, Bill received word that grandmother Griffith that he had grown up with, who had basically raised him along with his grandfather, was very ill and probably dying. He hurried back to Vermont to be with Fayette, his grandfather, and he made the trip alone. Lois was suffering from the first of what was to be a series of miscarriages. On New Year's Day, he wrote her that Ella brought Griffith with dead and in this letter he described how she had been mother to him through the years of his growing up then he added dear gran left us quietly and with no suffering she had done her work well and now she knows what it is all about lois uh you know lois says uh it's a lonely business being with a drunk when finally lois had to take him home from bars and parties she couldn't help it she felt like a little girl deprived of something that had been just a few hours before so real and so promising Sometimes they'd walk all day discussing just this, trying to understand, to find a cure. These would be followed by mornings when there would be not the slightest reference to the night before. His behavior became the one subject they both consciously avoided. For Lois, these mornings were often a time of self-reproach. She seemed unable to shake off the feeling that in some way she was failing as a woman. By Christmas 1923, there'd been so many disappointments, so many bad nights following followed by gray silent mornings that for her christmas present bill wrote on the fly leaf of their family bible thank you for your love and help this terrible year for your christmas i make you this present no liquor shall pass my lips for one year i'll make the effort to keep my word and make you happy two months later there was another such vow as time passed there would be still others a few weeks before christmas 1927 lois planned to have the entire family over and some gifts and some guests for the holiday dinner and she wanted everything to go well she made bill promise not to drink too much at least not while everyone was there he sarcastically tossed his glass of gin and tonic into the sink and promised to be a good boy. By now, she was used to his sarcasm after he had a few and wanted to continue drinking. She decorated the Christmas tree and the entire apartment in the spirit of the season. Everything was beautiful until Lois's father made a remark that Bill didn't like, and he said, well, he can go to hell. Bill sat under his breath as he excused himself and went into the parlor for a stiff belt. Just three days before Christmas 1930, Bill got himself involved in a bar room brawl. The altercation wasn't much different than many other drunken fights he'd been in over the past several years. A torn jacket, a black eye, a bloody lip. Merry Christmas. Many years later, Bill Shirley must have wanted to be a support to Lois during her mother's final illness. Her mother had treated him like a son, and Bill was very fond of her. Yet when she died on Christmas Day, Bill had been drunk for days, and on the day of her funeral, he was too drunk to attend, and he stayed drunk for many days after. He'd got drunk, too drunk even to pay Mrs. Burnham the tiniest respect of attending her funeral or offering her daughter, his wife, any kind of support. So then they headed out on the road on their motorcycle and Bill and Lois camped near the shack of one Robert Lee Brown for their first Christmas on the Road. Brown was a sharecropper who was trying to raise tobacco. He invited the Wilsons to share Christmas dinner with his family, sons, daughters-in-law, and six younger children. Dinner consisted of turnip greens and sweet potato custard. The only present, a package of jelly beans and a knitted cap for the baby. Lois recalled that Christmas night in Pelham, North Carolina with mixed emotions. I must admit some of that old guilt came back as I watched Bill playing so happily with those children she said but then some of the old fears came back too when Mr. Brown brought out a jug of white lightning. I think that's what he called it and Bill got terribly drunk. We had to sleep on the cabin floor that night because we couldn't get Bill back to our campsite. Merry Christmas. Ever since he was a boy, he'd been trying to please others. Decisions had been made by others or by his desire to please them. Lois, his mother, his grandfather, Gilly, his father. In some corner of his mind, he had always been seeking Gilly's approval. But he could change all that. He had done it before. Once and not too far back, heíd been in command. One night, sitting alone at the end of a bar, he lifted his glass and announced that he had a new ambition for the world each man his own father by christmas but whatever it is whatever we're going through we ought to remember that it's always a good day to be sober or on a bleak november day in 1934 bill was in the process of receiving albeit unknowingly a christmas present beyond his belief down in the middle there it says bill's real christmas present was a complete personality change as described by dr young ideas emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate what a wonderful christmas prison so on december 14th abby visited bill at town's hospital where he'd gone to dry out and led him through the oxford group's practical program of action sometime following ebby's hospital bill visit bill fell into a deep depression and had a life-changing spiritual experience after crying out if there be a god will he show himself and he had his white light experience in bill's story he states god comes to most men gradually but his impact on me was sudden and profound. Fearing that he had gone crazy, he called for Dr. Silkworth, who told him to hang on to what he experienced because it seemed so much better than what he'd had just hours before. In 1939, when the big book was printed, the first book of the first edition was dedicated to Lois in memory of, quote, the fifth Christmas, 12-25-39. Actually, that would have been his sixth christmas sober but anyway he wrote uh the dedication to lois one who's loving care and fortitude in our dark days together made these pages possible so to her this first book of the first edition is lovingly and thankfully given bill so in 1939 also in uh in akron out in akran there's a picture of dr uh bob's living room I'm not sure how many people you can get in there, but the earliest possible date for the first Akron alcoholics-only meeting would have been November 26th, 1939. However, one participant remembered only two meetings at the Smith House before moving to King School and another mentions there being a Christmas tree in the house. This would make the likeliest date for that first non-Oxford group AA meeting in Akron to be either December 13th or 20th 1939. Dr. Bob wrote on the second day of the new year 1940 Dr. Rob wrote to Bill have definitely shaken off the shackles of the Oxford group and are meeting at my house for the time being had 74 Wednesday in my little house not sure how he hit 74 in there but he did and at that first meeting uh without fuss or bother dr bob announced that there would be a meeting for the alcoholics if any of them cared to come when the meeting came to order all of the little band were there dr bob put his foot on the rung of a dining room chair identified himself my name's bob and i'm an alcoholic as an alcoholic and began reading the sermon on the mount and always a good day to be sober and you better not drink you better stay clean work all the steps except for 13 santa claus is coming to town it's all over the world uh tomorrow and uh and on sunday uh there will be people uh having meetings in little rooms big rooms and rooms uh indoors and outdoors and with candles and without candles and uhand i'll be reading from from this book in a lot of different languages and and they'll be sharing experience strength and hope with each other on uh on christmas eve and christmas day here is one if you look in the top right hand corner you talk about going to any lengths this is in quebec canada in the first nations reserve in uh and uh this is uh there they are what a what a place to go to a meeting. There they have their candles, the 12 steps and the 12 traditions, and they're ready to go. Mon Dieu, donnez-moi la sérénité d'accepter les choses que je ne puis changer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. It's a picture of the Wilson House. It is a bed and breakfast nowadays, the house where Bill was born, November 26th, 1895. And a picture as it is dressed up this year for the holidays, I'm sure it may have a little white stuff on the ground today. This is Hector M., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous in Italy. There's a dedication in that book to Carlo Coccioli, the author of Men on the Run. And he gave the book to Hector on December 5th, 1972. It's a picture of in prison. And we have to remember that there are people, some of you maybe, who will be going to hospitals and prisons on the 24th and the 25th to take meetings to people in prisons and hospitals that don't have any other option i live here in mexico and so we have to have a page here in spanish and of course they're in the middle muchas felicidades to our brothers and alcoholics anonymous on the left there it says al ver iluminarse las luces de las fiestas damos gracias what it says in english is on seeing the festive lights brighten we give thanks thanks for the internal light that is our sobriety and a thanks for the light of hope that we see in the face of the sick alcoholic that is reborn thanks for the light of the present the consciousness of this precious moment thanks for the light of new attitudes and humbly thanks for the glorious light of love through the fellowship and service may each day of the coming year be full of grace and light and on the right hand side it says a god that does not fail a god that forgives a god that restores a god of opportunities a god that heals a god that loves that is the god of alcoholics anonymous all over the world different languages and people will be reading everywhere and around the world on the 24th and the 25th, and sharing experience, strength, and hope. In 1943, Bill and Lois spent Christmas and New Year's with Bill's mother in San Diego, where she lived in Stanford Hotel. While they were in Sanigo, they went to an AA New Year'S Eve party, and Bill helped with the entertainment by playing the violin. Some of the following is going to be, things are from the AA Grapevine. If you don't have a digital subscription to the AA grapevine, it's an excellent gift. It's an excellent investment for those who love history and recovery. You have access to the archives and you can read a lot. We just don't have time to read all the wonderful information that there is there's a an article from 1944 bill's wife remembers when he and she and the first aas were very young great article you know and uh one of the first places new and different attitude appeared um was actually during the years of bill wilson's mentorship by father dowling A lot of things changed in the 40s for Bill. Father Dowling, the rapid growth of AA during that time, Bill's own personal struggles with depression. A lot OF things happened during that time and that affected what he wrote in this letter to all members in 1944. yes it's in the air the spirit of christmas once more warms this poor distraught world over the whole globe millions are looking forward to that one day when strife can be forgotten when it will be remembered that all human beings even the least are loved by god when men will hope for coming of the prince of peace as they have never hoped before but there is another world which is not poor, neither is it distraught. It is a world of Alcoholics Anonymous where thousands dwell happily and secure. Secure because each of us in his own way knows a greater power who is love, who is just, and who can be trusted. Nor can men and women of AA ever forget that only through suffering did they find enough humility to enter the portals of that new world. How privileged we are to understand so well the divine paradox that strength rises from weakness, that humiliation goes before resurrection, that pain is not only the price, but the very touchstone of spiritual rebirth. Knowing its full worth and purpose, we can no longer fear adversity. We have found prosperity where there was poverty. Peace and joy have sprung out of the very midst of chaos. Great indeed are blessings. And so Merry Christmas to you all from the trustees, from Bobby and from Lois and me. This was a time when Bobby Berger was pretty much running a lot of things in GSO, sponsoring groups and individuals and writing and sending books and doing a lot things. Here's what it looked like when it was printed in the 1944 grapevine. That's the same message, but printed in the grapevine. And to mention Bobby, this is a great book that just recently came out by Gary Neidhart, Bobby B., The Untold Story of AA's Fantastic Communicator, a story that all of us should know about. A great woman and a great new book. In 1945, the December Grapevine announced it would add four pages and raise the subscription rate to 250 30 today per year or 25 cents a copy you know and and and again these are these are they're wonderful articles there's so much uh history and recovery in these pages uh and by the end of 1945 there were 560 groups and 14 000 members the december 46 grapevine reports that uh june the omaha nebraska group has had a skid row group going right across the street from omaha's famous hobo park for another dramatic touch they had an artist make a seven foot well-dressed domino mask man to peddle a booklet on aa in the lobbies of theaters showing march of time problem drinkers and the late showing of the lost weekend for the the holidays and again the grapevine article in 46 of a miracle at christmas a man reborn excellent articles and by 46 we're up to a thousand groups with 29 000 members and uh you know so so doubling huge growth during that time and uh 1947 is the night before christmas this is christmas fella just one one won't hurt you where have we heard that one before the article says we've heard it in many places many times and uh but uh great articles 1947 for all men christmas is a season to rejoice that of old time there came into the darkening world a great light and that was signed by bill and dr bob and december 25th 1949 in the rochester democrat and chronicle an article appeared the alcoholics anonymous plan a meeting tonight christmas meeting at 8 30 in the hotel seneca the meeting will be open to anyone seeking help with a personal alcoholic problem there's a great uh tape recording cd whatever you need a christmas day talk by archie t also in 1949 on december 25th bill wrote this letter to dr silkworth he said dear doctor as no other time does christmas reminds us of our friends none come more quickly to recollection than you and your good wife surely great things have happened since that day 15 years ago when you said, no, you're not hallucinating. You'd better hold on to what you have. That saved my life and this is a letter of appreciation from Lois and me. What you have since meant to so many, no one can measure. You are among the first of those without whom AA could never have been. Lois joins me in eternal gratitude. Here at Stepping Stones, holiday parties and large The gatherings on Thanksgiving and Christmas were regular features of life at Stepping Stones. Family members, people from AA, and later the Al-Anon office, and AA friends mixed with neighbors, tradesmen, and virtually anyone, drunk or sober, who didn't have anywhere else to go on Christmas Day. And for some years now at Steppen Stones, a Christmas card sat atop the fireplace mantel containing the following message. how gratifying it must be to know how many people your organization has helped your leadership throughout has been an inspiration sincerely john d rockefeller jr on december 30th 1946 rockefeller sent this letter to bill the first part is thanking him for a copy of alcoholics anonymous with a beautiful dedication in the fly leaf in the second paragraph it says it must give you great the greatest satisfaction to know that the friendly hand which you held out to a needy brother some years ago has resulted in such widespread extension of that helpful act the regenerating power of the spirit in which that friendly hand was extended has been the means of saving countless valuable lives that would otherwise have been wrecked how many friendly hands have we all stretched out since then meanwhile out in out in akron of course uh ann smith who bill called the mother of aa she never forgot about the newcomers and uh she was always worried because she had a new dress christmas parties and the aa women were always gaily dressed but the poor ones the new ones with nothing to be gay about. They hang around the edges feeling cold and lonely, so that's why Ann Smith hated to wear a new dress. She said, so many people will be there who can't afford a new one. I hate to embarrass them. It was a bigness of heart, this continual thinking of others. Money problems grew. Sue, her daughter, Dr. Bob's daughter, Sue remembered how her mother would have to pay debts with money received for Christmas or birthdays. Emma Kay recalled commenting on a beautiful little statuette that had been a Christmas present during this period, only to hear Ann reply, oh my dear, if only they'd sent food instead. When Ann died in 1949, Sister Ignatia wrote Bob a letter in which she recalled some of the experiences they had all had together. On Christmas Eve, Bob replied with a characteristically short but a fight up. My dear sister, he said, it is most fortunate for me that I have been blessed with the friendship of one so staunch and true as yourself. You have demonstrated in so many ways your love, loyalty, and kindness that I cannot even begin to thank you adequately. In a lifetime, one may meet some one or two wonderful characters like yourself. So for my rare privilege of knowing you i feel most humbly grateful may god's blessing be ever on you with a great deal of love dr bob smith dr bob made his last visit to the ward about then perhaps on christmas day 1949 on that day sister played the organ for him and showed him the beautiful new chimes again in 1950 a great article by uh by bill and also embedded there is the christmas greeting for 1950 which says from dr bob and bill this is the 15th christmas for alcoholics anonymous seldom has this tired world been more confused divided and distraught yet never has the society of alcoholics synonymous, been more alive, united and peaceable. God continues to bestow upon us his long benighted ones, abiding joy and boundless freedom. What great gifts of grace! Do we listen? We can hear him say freely ye have received, freely give. Merry Christmas to you all. We of AA shall take these words to heart as never before, for we more than most are privileged to know their full meaning. december of 51 by bill and from all of us as in no other season we have a gratefully reflect upon that miracle of rebirth and regeneration which has befallen us we joyfully gaze upon the ever brighter radiance that suffuses our once dark world once again we listen to our lord's command freely have you received freely give in 1952 1950 christmas 1953 tom powers bill's uh one-time friend uh helpmate editor uh gave bill uh up there on the top it says dear bill he gave him a catholic dictionary for many times where you must take the catholic viewpoint into account this should come in handy. With love and esteem and with deepest gratitude, Tom Powers. Down there towards the bottom, the last paragraph says, here's what Bill said on June 16th, 1954 at the 19th Founders Day about the second edition of The Big Book, introducing Tom Powers, the main speaker. I hope you're going to like this new book, and if you do like it, you can credit Tom with 50% of your liking, because he's the guy who most painstakingly edited it and the 12 steps and 12 traditions before that. On this Christmas day, December 29th, 1952, Mother Ed addressed both Bill and Lois. He said, at this season of the year, it is so easy to think back to that New Year's Eve and day that we had together. The intervening years have cemented our friendship. We know how much of yourself is in the prayer of St. Francis. This makes your gift more valuable and more deeply appreciated than the beauty of the gift would deserve. May 1953 bring you and Lois and me closer to God, that we may enjoy even better, greater closeness to each other. The gift was two hinged frames, one containing the prayer of St. Francis, the other a picture of saint francis um in uh a history from the 1952 a christmas grapevine says first christmas for aa was the depression year of 1935 there were three old-timers to market hardly a dozen newcomers to share it with them in akron dr bob and bill d were going on their second six months. Four recruits had from four months to two months. In New York, Bill W. had 13 months since his last drink, seven months since His Historic Trip to Akron and the start of AA. In Akron, the six gathered with their families at Dr. Bob's. There was no ceremony, no exchange of presents. The 12 steps had not been formulated. The big book was only a vague stirring that would not even be in manuscript until three more Christmases had been achieved. But there was joy that this most dangerous of times for the alcoholic had arrived, and 24 hours by 24 hours was being mastered. Bill W. recalls only a quiet day in New York, that Yule of 1935, where there were very few involved. Five years later, there was a place in Newark for an AA Christmas party, the first clubhouse. And about the 24th Street Clubhouse, there hangs a real Santa Claus story. in that building and it's not there any longer but in 1840 dr clement clark moore in that building began to compose it was the night before christmas and all through the house because the night Before Christmas we're all in the club enjoying the meeting instead of a pub the ashtrays were clean and the coffee was made the big books were out and all had prayed you know you may have seen that AA version December of 1952 the 17th Christmas for AA is here considering all that has happened since AA's first Christmas in 35 no words can portray the meaning of Christmas 1952. The only thing of which we're really sure is that we've we have given of ourselves and have received great gifts that no imagination can fully describe. Guided, we are sure, by an all-generous and wise providence. AA's message of hope has been carried into nearly every corner of the earth. The Christmas drama of giving and receiving has been reenacted everywhere and still goes on. Many of us in AA are of the Christian faith, though not all. We have Jews who look to Jehovah, agnostics who hopefully look to the AA group as their higher power, and there are Indians upon our western plains who regard the Great Spirit as their guide. Now that we have opened tiny beachheads on the shores of Asia, we have no doubt that some of our brothers and sisters there reverence the Buddha and others Allah. It is a comforting fact of our life together that none of these differences has ever disturbed us. Indeed, it can be said that they have in some subtle and mysterious way bound us even more firmly together. the insurance of that bond is our common kinship and in kinsship and suffering and our universal receipt release from it by the kind of giving that demands no reward 1953 christmas message from bill our gratitude mounts to a new high as the 18th day christmas dawns in this year uncounted ones of our kind have been delivered from a dark bondage into light they are now finding all those joys we know so well never before have we been so privileged to give and to receive being sober always a good day that it is december of 1954 in the grapevine there was this there may seem to be no immediate relationship between sobriety and the ancient scriptural story of the three wise men, but the active AA member in yellow and reading can often find a moral or help or suggestion in seasonal commemorations or even in the humdrum repetitions of daily life. A wise man is perhaps the antithesis of the wise guy. The wise guy knows it all. The Wise Men traveled a long way to find out the truth. The holiday season can be a time of renewed faith, of intense gratitude. Christmas is a time of giving. Too often it consists solely of presenting gifts that can be acquired in stores and more costly the gift obviously the deeper the affection of the giver. Unfortunately to give sincerely is not so easy. The most welcome most cherished gifts cannot be bought with money. They are part of ourselves. They require thought an effort they are to be found even though they may not be immediately evident in the 12 steps what greater gift can a drinking man give to family and friends than a first effort at sobriety what greater gifts can a sober man give than increased forbearance love and humility it is not easy to become a wise man but the christmas star is there beckoning to all of us if we will but look and have faith. I didn't know there was a Mexico, Missouri, but there was, and on December 17th, 1954, they mentioned they had a special Christmas meeting there in Mexico, Missouri. December 1954, a Christmas message from Lois and Bill to each of you, whether in nearby parts or distant lands, Lois, and I send our Christmas greetings and our warmest affections. This is our 20th Christmas in the AA way of life, God's gift to us all. The thought that this gift has already been shared by uncounted sufferers whose dearest aim is to give what they have found to still others is something for more gratitude than our hearts can fully speak. the december 1955 grapevine center centerfold yes grapevine as a centerfold not maybe like some of you are used to centerfolds but the grapevine has a center fold and it carried a painting by volunteer illustrator robert m of a man on the bed being 12 stepped by two members the painting's title was came to believe in 1973 when the book came to belief was conference approved, the conference also voted to change the painting's name to the man on the bed to avoid confusion. The original painting was given to Bill and hung in his studio at Stepping Stones. It is probably the most popular image in AA today. So by the end of 55, there were 6,249 groups and almost 136,000 AA members. About the man on the bed picture bill wrote the the illustrator dear robert beautifully framed your representation of man on the bed hangs in my studio at bedford hills it is a wonderful thing to have i don't see how it could have been better done the whole heart and essence of aa can be seen just by looking at it please know that to my great thanks lois adds hers ever yours bill i've seen it it currently hangs in the spook room at Stepping Stones. Things may have changed. It's still face-to-face, one-on-one, one alcoholic talking to another, and it's always a good day to be sober. December 1955, the finest gift of all. Each of us in AA has received the gift of sobriety. All of us have found a new usefulness. Most of us Have Found a Great Happiness. this adds up to the gift of life itself a new life of wondrous possibility what then are we going to do with this great gift of Life because our experience has taught us we are quite sure that we know we shall try to share with every fellow sufferer all that has been so freely given to us the uh another christmas greeting uh that we have of aa i'm sorry much of christmas and we should the fellowship of men and women has in these times received more blessings than we who has a greater opportunity to give to give of the grace that surely has been ours and who could more treasure peace than we who once knew only conflict in 57 as we stand together looking back we see among us a heartening growth in numbers and in spirit our global unity is something for wonder the world around us is everywhere our friend that we of aa can really have and hold such blessings in this time of great fear and conflict this time when all men and women stand at history's most fateful crosswords is almost beyond belief nevertheless we do have these blessings the sum of them is god's gift to us at this christmas time and uh in 1958 um to all of us christmas means giving and it means receiving in this happy vision we see the prince of peace the greatest giver of all lois did a lot of drawings. She did this one too, was A Christmas Memories in December of 59. Whether it is more blessed to give than to receive is always something for question. The givers are generally supposed to rack up the higher score, the greater heap of merit, but this need not be so. If only we who receive are truly and lastingly grateful for all that comes our way. Not only is Christmas a special season for giving. It is even more a time for grateful receiving, whether we reflect upon a message from a friend or upon the meaning of the coming of the Prince of Peace. Together we count and ponder our blessings, blessings of life, of service, of love. 1960, we've just passed our quarterly century mark. All this year long we have celebrated. Memories of our beginning have deeply stirred us one by one we have summoned up those living images of early founding friends those great events and ideas upon which liberation has since so purely rested we have been giving thanks for both our pains and our rewards we have tried to meditate upon all our blessings but have found them to be endless all but infinite in 1961 in this year of world shattering crises none have more reason for christmas gratitude than we who so well know how great our unexampled privileges have been each of us passed through his own hour of trial then was lifted up by the grace of the prince of peace into the bright awareness of god's goodness and love for our beloved fellowship this is the 28th christmas in all sides we prosper The release from alcohol's bondage touches ever new thousands. We are at peace with the whole world. And here another centerfold there in the grapevine in 1963. What it says there is gratitude is just about the finest attribute we can have and how deeply we of AA realize this at Christmas time. We know that our very lives, our miraculous new chance to live, to learn, to grow, and to serve is a supreme gift of grace which has come to us from him who presides over us all. May we joyfully meditate upon these precious blessings as never before. In 1964, our fellowship celebrates its 29th Christmas. We are at peace with the world and with him who resides over us all never have we had so much for which to be thankful 1965 in this season of all seasons we are filled with gratitude beyond expression for the great gift of his grace the grace that has set us free to live and love having so freely received let us freely give as never before 1966 among the finest of all attributes that we can have instead of gratitude for those endless benefactions which god has bestowed upon us of a and another year and uh the christmas greetings in 1967 a is 32nd christmas never have we known more reasons for wonder for joy and for gratitude in 1968 we have a try to count the incredible blessings that are now ours we thank god for our host of friends for the opportunity to live and to serve that comes with each new day on this specially wonderful christmas season lois joins me in our affectionate greetings we share with you the wonder of all that god has brought to pass among us in this year of our Lord, 1969. This is just a beautiful picture of Bill's office, Whitsand at Stepping Stones. Any of you who have never been to Stepping stones, I highly recommend it if you get there and a picture of the main house there at Steppen stones. Another great newsletter was box 459 and that you can find on the aa.org website you can find their archives lots of history and beautiful stuff there nothing quite like an aa christmas this is from 1967 whatever holidays may have met to us meant to us in drinking days a real aa holiday is unforgettable for most of us whether it is new year's day hanukkah thanksgiving or christmas the 1968 the holiday spirit prevails in aaa um in spanish the uh version the grapevine version is called lavinia and available also through aa In 1970, as we will see tomorrow in tomorrow's presentation, Bill was not doing well. In December of 1970, he was in his last months of his life. But this is the message from Bill. Gratitude is just about the finest attribute we can have. and how deeply we of AA realize this at Christmastime. Together, we count and ponder our blessings of life, of service, of love. In these distraught times, we've been enabled to find an always increasing measure of peace within ourselves. Together with all here at AA's general service offices, Lois joins me in the warmest greetings to each and all of you. And we share our confident faith that the year to come will be counted among the best that our fellowship has ever known. Within a month, Bill Wilson would have died. That was his last message. As the holiday season stirs our hearts and spirits with renewed hope, gratitude, and love, may we remember that great legion who still suffer from alcoholism, that they may find the freedom and sobriety that we have found. And I close with this that was in the December 1967 grapevine because I like it. it's beautiful and in a great way, I think, to end. It's actually from a letter written by Fra Giovanni to a friend in 1513. I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got, but there is much, very much that while I cannot give it, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. take heaven no peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant take peace the gloom of the world is but a shadow behind it yet within our reach is joy there is a radiance and glory in the darkness could we but see and to see we have only to look i beseech you to look life is a generous giver but we judging its gifts by their covering cast them away as ugly or hard remove the covering and you will find beneath a living splendor woven of love by wisdom with power welcome it grasp it and touch the angel's hand that brings it to you in everything we call a trial a sorrow or a duty believe me that angel's hand is there the gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence our joys too do not be content with them as joys they too conceal diviner gifts life is so full of meaning and purpose so full beauty beneath its covering that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven courage then to claim it that is all but courage you have in the knowledge that we are all pilgrims together, wending through unknown country home. And so this Christmas time I greet you, not quite as the world sends greetings, but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away. So on this December 23rd, 2022, the season of being happy, joyous and free and taking it one day at a time in unity, service and recovery I thank you I thank you Jim and if you would like to thank Jim please unmute yourself there, I'm sure you will that was wonderful Jim Thank you Jim Thank you Thank you Thank you Appreciate it Amazing. That was special, Jim. Thank you so much. Yeah, and your singing is absolutely fantastic. I love the singing portions. He's good, isn't he? You've got to give it to him. He is good, hasn't he, in all fairness? He's getting better. He's gotten better. There's a little bit of room for improvement, Jim, you know about, don't you? Always. Always, Jim Goodman, to grow another star. Jim, this is our tomorrow, and we'll just go with this one. Jim, I know you like the landscape ones. Yeah. Yeah, tomorrow at 11.30 Eastern U.S. time, 4.30 U.K. time. It's an hour and a half, if you can put up with me for that long. And it's on Bill's story from 1961 until 1971. and includes a lot of outside issues, some things that some people may not know and eventually his last days. So maybe you can join us tomorrow. I appreciate those of you, some of you have been here, Joyce and Susan and Hugh and Eddie and Mercedes and some of your others have joined. So maybe we'll see you there tomorrow too. is that 8 30 pacific time pardon that would be yes pacific time that would be 8 30 a.m pacific time that's right fred and jim is back with us next week i'm sure you want to know this one it's doing a history of spirituality in alcoholics anonymous so i can put up with you jim for a lot longer than an hour and a half it's wonderful to listen to you've got a great Jim does our indents on the writing of the big book, The Creation of AA, Mr. Sherbrooke's book every Thursday. We read a chapter and Jim wonderfully reads the indents. I'm sure anyone who's been at that meeting loved listening to that. Thank you, Jim, for that. And the following week, Hugh, we're working on this flyer. Hugh's with us on the following day He's going to kick off the new year with us. Hugh's going try and do it on details, not trying to, he's going do it in the midst of AA history. This is just a work in progress. in a moment but Hugh I think I don't know if I got the okay for you to go with that yet but did you want to mention that now Hugh are you okay yeah I'm fine with that brilliant thank you Hugh so Hugh is going to be answering some of those questions that you can see on that and more I'm sure as well so we will work thank you look at that the mother God grant me this serenity was that the one that's posted in the newspaper Hugh is that what that's about yes it is brilliant I won't go through because we have Q&A's but this is something we're doing you can find out more about that next week I'm sure we have Paula P and Holly D get involved in emotional sobriety with us Gigi is involved in this one who's our footnote reader every Thursday as well Gigi's involved in that one we've done the gym and this is Hugh Hugh I'm not going to leave this up for long but you're going to tell people more about that history related meetings uh yes it's a list of meetings that i keep updated and uh i send out new ones whenever they get updated to anybody who's asked for it and uh I'll put my email address in the chat you can email me there for it I don't post them because that's how bombers get a hold of them thank you Hugh and Jim I just want to put this up before we go off to you um that jim you're doing fantastic work i must say i do enjoy reading your comments on this a history only you've put a fantastic amount of posts in there it's wonderful uh if anyone is not looking at that jим does fantastic service in that every week jim did you want to mention that yeah that's uh i i post on uh on a couple of uh sites this one is aa history only uh website where we try and keep it just to a history no discussion but a history questions and answers and also on recovery speakers facebook page i post on those on that page two different things every day about a history and and i and others are there too I'm not the only one there by any means, but to help answer any questions and sometimes people even update me. So, you know, history is a work in process, progress. Well, I salute all that you do, Jim Early. It's wonderful stuff. And this is our Growing an Understanding. If you want to just, the recording will be posted. If you go to this growingunderstandinggroup.com, we put the recording up here and you can see there, there's a drop down here, Friday Streams, and there's one for the writing of the big book as well. You click on those and they'll come up for you. And the last one for me before we go to Stuart is Mr. Shearberg, Bill Shearburg is put in. Who wants to mention this word? Errata. Am I pronouncing that right? Errota. That's the Latin word for oops. so he's updated he's updated printings isn't that right he's updated the printings of writing the big book and there's some changes in it and you can just see there right there are oops thank you Jim oops is there you can just press on that and it goes straight into there there's the changes there so wonderful great work being done by a lot of our leaders I definitely call them leaders and Alcoholics Knowledge we're leaving the way first thank you so with that it's over Francis I think you need to mute yourself you're making a lot of strange noises there so with that we're going over to Stuart or Stu as he's known to his friends you'll never know what I've known to my friends all yours Stuart alcoholic if you'd like to come in and ask a question please do so by raising your hand in participant section and i'll call on you um and we're going to start off with hugh good evening hugh you're muted i'm i'm sure i'm an alcoholic great job jim uh three questions first one is what's the difference between aa history lovers and aaa history only he said to get rid of the opinion um we are being recorded just for information purposes yeah yeah no uh yeah it's just uh um it's a it's different site uh with different administrators and uh we're just trying to keep it uh um uh for for history only and uh and not a whole lot of discussions. Okay. Why did you not mention the most interesting part of that guy who got his frontal lobotomy just before Christmas? That would be that when the doctor put the drill to his skull and pressed, it went all the way into his brain and there was blood and brain matter everywhere uh well i yeah and it didn't affect them it didn'T affect them yeah yeah lobotomies even a lobotomy won't uh yeah i i don't i i didn't yeah i didn'T include all that information you know i just think that is so interesting yeah and even the lobotomie you know won't cure us and And I just, the last thing I wanted just to note that when that last Christmas message went out from Bill and Bob in 1950, Bob was already dead by Christmas. He died the month before. Yes. Thank you. You do sing pretty well too. thank you uh we're going to go to marion now good evening marion yeah hi so uh thank you jim and it was just a wonderful presentation and i loved your singing uh my question is uh in one of the uh christmas 1961 it said the world's crisis because of the world crisis with kenton or other what do you recall what that world crisis was was that yeah i don't know the 13th of october when was the cuban missile crisis yeah i think it was right around then that's what i was 62 62 yeah yeah that might have been the berlin closing of berlin the airlift yeah i could have been i don'T KNOW THE INTERESTING THING THAT I FIND IS THAT he mentions world crises several times and there's always one going on yeah there is always one going and uh you know and if we just keep hanging in there not drinking one day at a time it will we may make it to the next one thank you thank you so much thank you marian thank you very much we're going to go to gary now good evening gary uh jim that was fabulous i mean as far as i'm concerned uh you know i'd love to have the the video of what you provided as well because it's it's what you provided was really timeless and i i hope you don't mind but i uh i'd like to read something and incidentally i'm going to be sending this to you afterwards, because this is what he wrote as a Christmas bulletin in 1946. I came across this while researching the Bobby book. For us of Alcoholics Anonymous, this season marks the passage of one more Christmas anniversary since our beginning over a decade ago. What was then but a flickering beacon of hope for those who suffer alcoholism has now become a strong clear light seemingly destined to reach every alcoholic in his cave beckoning him to that to that now life thousands have been found to us more than to most people christmas is a time of great joy and thanksgiving. We have been permitted to know how suffering may lead to rebirth, how rebirth may lead zu resurrection. As beneficiaries of such a grace, we are among the most fortunate of all people, and let us always believe that we are surely among those the most thankful for his coming at Bethlehem. So Merry Christmas to you all, from Dr. Bob and Ann, from the trustees, from Bobby in the central office, and from Tom Y. and the Grapeviners, and from Lois and me affectionately, Bill. I will be sending this to you after this is over, along with the 1947 greetings, which is just from Bill and Dr. Robbins. You can add them your collection and incidentally Merry Christmas and Jim if I may just before you come back, Jim just before you come out the Bobby book that Gary was referencing just for information purposes is this book Bobby B Jim might have mentioned that The Untold Story of AA's Fantastic Communicator that's the Bobby book that Harry was just mentioning, Jim alright thank you very much Gary for that that information and and you're always so helpful and in in sharing things and uh and and the book is just you know fabulous i'm not finished with it but uh you know it's it's just a great book and and bobby uh needs to be known and the work that she did thank you okay here we go gg just posted the bay of pigs was april 20th 1961 for those in the u.s who know about the bay of pigs and in cuba and and that thing so it was a rough time you know and aa's been through it's been more through world war ii it's been through uh you know the korean war uh you know we've been through a lot of things and and there are always crises uh and if we if we uh just stick to stick to our last you know stick to what we're good at we'll be okay thank you we're going to go to cincinnati and kim now hello kim good evening merry christmas and thank you so much jim i really loved how you did that presentation your um skills with singing and your bilingual skills and humor were wonderful and um it really really brought back to me uh my first sober Christmas and really the whole holiday season and how I felt about um trying to be sober at that time of year and um so it really it really brought that back for me and um and I really also it helped me get more into the Christmas spirit um because I guess I'm just not really I'm thinking about the weather or something and not really necessarily thinking about what christmas is really about so i really appreciate it thank you thank you for the kind words you know the themes that gary mentioned it in those and and the ones the themes run through of regeneration and rebirth and resurrection and and gratitude and freely have we received and and freely give you know i have a a little longer closing at the end i guess i do get to close today right david at the end but uh you know that to talk about uh to talk about that a little that the topic runs through all of them uh that uh we we have been given a great gift and uh you now sharing it is is our great uh responsibility thank you very much do we have any more questions or statements or seasons greetings for mr whirling oh we do oh we have said yeah we um so we're going to go to now good evening good evening um thank you david and stewart and uh that was an incredible presentation today especially i liked when you differentiated wise guy with somebody who knows it all and a wise man who travels far to find the truth that that's so that resonated but i did want to ask you mentioned about the man on the bed hung in the spook room in stepping stones what is the spook the the spOOK room is uh it's actually a little small room right off of the uh the main living room. And it's where, is somebody else talking? Anyway, and it's where they had seances. And, you know, Ouija boards and seances and table liftings and that sort of things that they were into there. And that's why it's called the spook room. And thank you for including all of those excerpts and all the research you have done to bring us Christmas AA style thank you thank you very much we're going to go to Mercedes now good evening Mercedes good evening Jim draw a box of chocolates full of surprises the thinking was a very good one thank you for everything thank you Mercedes thank you for being here and being my friend thank you that's lovely um do we have any more questions if so please raise your hand in the participant section okay we're going to go to toronto and bob now with his new haircut yeah thanks uh my hair hadn't been that long since the early 70s And so while everybody was enjoying the presentation today, all I could think of was how much research went into this. A tremendous amount. You know, some of us that have done some of that stuff. I mean, it was amazing. And I did enjoy the singing. My question is, did you know that I was in a choir as an adult, Jim Worley? Although I don't seem like the type, David Kennedy. so I actually got to perform when the Dalai Lama came to Toronto and you know what song we sang no we sang hello Dali oh help yeah well Bob good to see you and I'm glad about your recent spiritual experience you had with the haircut. And for those of you who don't know, Bob is the author of the book, Key Players in AA, that I highly recommend too. Just a great, easy to read book about the key players in AA history. Bob, good to see you. I'm not sure we're going to be able to top that. Does anybody want to have a go? no i don't think so oh oh oh great susan hello susan good evening hi stuart susan my name is susan i'm an alcoholic i just wanted to jump in and thank you thank you jim thank you thanks everybody david and everybody i'm home in iceland now and i just i just love friday nights with you guys hanging out and learning more more and more about our history and thanks Jim for fantastic entertainment tonight so I wanted to wish everybody a wonderful wonderful time now and of course always and hope that we are all healthy and enjoying whatever condition is outside it's freezing in Iceland but I'm really feeling warm and cuddly being with you. Just wanted to say hi and thank you. Thank you very much, Susan. Always good to see you. Thank you very much. I think that may be all now. I'm going to hand the meeting back to Tim. Oh, that was quick. I've just put up Bob Kay's book there on... Sorry, Susan, I didn't cut across you, but I didn'T mean to press the button at that time. But this is the one that Jim just mentioned there about key players in their history. Jim references this quite a lot, don't you Jim, key players in their history. Yes. And it's from Bob Cato. Yeah, a lot of my presentations have quotes from that very well-researched book and very easy to read, you know. So highly recommended. Thank you, Jim, for that. Oh, Dave has put it up. He said, Dave, we don't see you on camera, so please don't be one of them fellas who are naughty. So go ahead, Dave. Let's see what happens. I'm standing over the button, not the 62 Cuban man. Go on, Dave, jump in there. Dave, don't keep us in suspense now after that. He's teasing me. I was muted. Just to say thanks, Jim, for everything and all the hard work you've done. It was really, really great to hear that. It sort of made my Christmas. And thank you as well, David, for all the heart and soul hard work you don't it's you dave i didn't know it was you yeah you've changed your profile picture oh no i don't know if it comes on and off i don' t know i don''t okay okay stuff you know sometimes it's up there and sometimes it' s not okay thank you thank you very much dave yeah thanks great stuff thank you dav uh thomas nias you wanted to mention something that i remembered and you didn't remind me thomas and i did remember thomas nice jump in there quickly you want to mention yeah the lois wilson story when love is not enough you wanted to tell us about the reading uh meeting there yeah our meeting that we have on sunday afternoons and we've decided through group conscience to forego sunday this week on christmas and we're going to reconvene on the 1st of january of 23 thank you thank you thomas Jim we'll go back to you when you're ready of course does anyone want to say anything else before we close and we go back to Jim okay I think we covered it short Jim when you are ready all right I'm just going to let me find the right button here i can't find there we go oh no it's not gonna it's not gonna you will excuse me yeah um bill w in the shape of things to come says above all let us remember that great legion who still suffer from alcoholism and who are still without hope let us at any cost or sacrifice so improve our communication with all these, that they may find what we have found, a new life of freedom under God. Not one of us is given a torch big enough to lead the drunks of the world out of the darkness and into the light. Instead, each of us has been given a candle. It burns for a short while with a flickering flame. If we stand together, the light will outshine the greatest torch. If we argue and bicker and blow light each other's candles so that each of us starts shielding our own little flame and the alcoholics of the world will continue to suffer in darkness and so will we and uh to close i'd like to uh uh mention that that uh that's what we we say the responsibility pledge uh i am responsible Thank you, Jim Worley. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you my dear friend and have a wonderful Christmas. Thank you Francis. Thank you Jim. Merry Christmas to all of you. Very moving. Wow.