Steps 4 & 5 – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

SANDY B. recounts a life derailed by alcohol, detailing a terrifying period in the Bethesda N. Hospital where she was unable to fly high-performance jets due to withdrawals.

Her identity, tied to being a fighter pilot, was shattered when doctors diagnosed her with a 'childhood fear of flying.' After a career reset, she faced repeated medical scrutiny, culminating in a stint where she was confined after a supposed 'photo lab' test. The core of her recovery narrative is the shift from self-reliance—the 'I did it' mentality—to accepting a Higher Power's solution. She speaks of the 'Higher Power Dilemma,' the struggle between the material world's self-sufficiency and the spiritual need for surrender, finding true joy only when she accepts that the power must come from outside the self.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and general reflections on the high energy of AA conventions.
• 1:30 Sandy shares a personal connection to old-timers gathering, mentioning her friend Hal Marley.
• 3:00 Sandy details her early sobriety struggles, describing the physical terror of flying jets during withdrawal.
• 12:00 Detailed account of the medical charade in the Navy, including the 'counting backwards from 100 by sevens' test.
• 22:00 The discussion of the 'Higher Power Dilemma'—the conflict between self-reliance and needing a Higher Power.
• 35:00 The speaker discusses the 11th Step prayer, noting that the energy flows outward, not inward.
• 45:00 The speaker explains the core message of the Big Book: 'The purpose of this book is to enable you to find a power greater than yourself.'
• 55:00 Final thoughts on the 'world of the Spirit' being 'in the now,' and the need to call a sponsor when disturbed.