Step 10 Says Deal with It at Once Then Immediately Turn Your Attention to Someone You Can Help – Tom I.

About This Speaker Tape

Tom I., a member of the Primary Purpose Group in Southern Pines, North Carolina, shares from nearly 50 years of sobriety (sober since February 2, 1957) at the State Line Retreat conference in Primm, Nevada. He opens with humor about being the "change of pace guy" from the Deep South, then dives into a deeply practical talk about how the Traditions build unity in AA. He grounds every principle in personal experience rather than theory, starting with his own childhood — his father abandoned the family when Tom was four, leaving him with ingrained character defects like compulsive lying that he still contends with decades into sobriety.

Tom walks through several Traditions with vivid stories. For Tradition One (common welfare), he tells the painful story of having to nominate a new treasurer over a beloved old-timer who had grown possessive of the role — a man who had taken Tom to his very first meeting. For Tradition Three (singleness of purpose), he describes intervening when a drug addict was nominated to chair a prison AA meeting. For Tradition Four (autonomy), he recounts a vulgar Saturday night speaker at a conference who unknowingly drove away a minister attending his first AA meeting. Each story illustrates that unity sometimes requires difficult, principled action.

The second half of the talk pivots to service. Tom describes taking 15 people through an intensive Big Book study group, including an arrogant atheist woman who became one of the strongest members in his area. He shares stories of Cooperation with Professional Communities work — helping a bewildered psychiatrist learn where to send dual-diagnosis patients, eliminating court-paper requirements in his local jurisdiction, and mentoring a man in Kenya who was trying to start AA prison meetings with 600 inmates and no resources. He closes with a passionate challenge: if you do not have a home group with all three legacies firing, start one. The home group is the heartbeat of AA, and 58 percent of registered groups in the U.S. are not even contributing financially. His parting message is the Declaration of Responsibility — "I'm responsible. Not us. Not we."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Tom introduces himself — Primary Purpose Group, Southern Pines, NC, sober since Groundhog Day 1957
• 4:00 Childhood story — father deserted at age four, development of character defects including compulsive lying
• 10:00 Tradition One and common welfare — painful treasurer nomination story with the old-timer who took him to his first meeting
• 18:00 Home group business meeting — Tom waits two months before calmly requesting a reversed decision, group overwhelmingly agrees
• 24:00 Tradition Three and singleness of purpose — intervenes when drug addict is nominated to chair prison meeting
• 32:00 Tradition Four and autonomy — vulgar speaker at Tennessee conference drives away a minister attending his first AA meeting
• 38:00 Tradition Five and primary purpose — the rallying point where AA never fights
• 44:00 Steps 10-12 as the transition to service — understanding and effectiveness, intensive Big Book workshop with 15 people including an atheist woman who became his strongest member
• 55:00 CPC stories — helping a bewildered psychiatrist, bootlegger raid leads to police partnership, working with drunk lawyer programs in North Carolina
• 65:00 Kenya prison ministry — mentoring a man trying to start AA in Kenyan prisons with 600 inmates and no resources
• 72:00 Closing challenge — 58% of US groups contribute nothing financially, start a home group with all three legacies, Declaration of Responsibility