Step 1 — Powerlessness – Free D. – FOTS 2016

About This Speaker Tape

A Step One panel at the Fellowship of the Spirit conference where speakers dismantle the mechanics of the physical allergy and the mental obsession. Mike maps out the 'unnatural reaction' to alcohol, using the image of a Kahlua-and-coffee mix that spiraled into a blackout, while Aaron describes the 'magical vortex' of leaving county jail only to find himself craving a drink before he even reached the other side of town. Deb, an Al-Anon member, tears into the 'bedevilments' of her past—the martyrdom and the need to please others born from a childhood of abuse—and the slow process of learning to see color in a world that had been gray.

The session closes with floor comments on the 'alcoholic torture of the body' and the realization that life remains unmanageable by the self, requiring a shift in power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jeff opens the conference and reads the anonymity statement.
• 4:30 Mike discusses the 'unnatural reaction' and the phenomenon of craving.
• 8:15 Mike shares a concrete story about Kahlua and coffee as his first experience with craving.
• 12:40 Mike describes the 'effect' of alcohol and the arrogance of the strip club.
• 17:10 Aaron introduces 'baby land' and the exhaustion of new parenthood.
• 22:30 Aaron describes the 'magical vortex' of leaving county jail and the immediate return to drinking.
• 28:15 Deb discusses the 'bedevilments' and her childhood in a New York Italian Catholic family.
• 34:20 Laughter: Deb talks about knocking over a bookcase and the brief satisfaction of anger.
• 41:10 Deb shares the healing experience of hearing her parents praise her niece.
• 48:50 Cheda shares on the 'alcoholic torture of the body' and the physical craving.
• 53:10 Buzz discusses the second half of Step One: life being unmanageable by the self.
• 57:40 Danny shares on the 'two by four' of powerlessness before the meeting closes.