Not One Drink Away from a Drunk but Twelve Steps Away from a Drink — Work Them Forward or Work Them Back – Joe K.

About This Speaker Tape

Joe K. from Carmel, California shares his story with 32 years of sobriety at the time of this talk. A World War II fighter pilot who served in the American Eagle Squadron of the Royal Air Force and spent 25 months as a prisoner of war, Joe describes how his sponsor was the legendary aviator Pappy Boyington, who showed up at his door carrying a Big Book. Joe traces his drinking through a career in radio where he introduced top-40 rock radio to California, multiple hospitalizations including cirrhosis and a ruptured esophagus, and a VA system that blamed his symptoms on war trauma rather than alcoholism.

Joe recounts a remarkable trip to Siberia where he helped establish AA groups, and tells the story of Dr. Peter Shikhov, who convinced Gorbachev that the only difference between Russia's failing sobriety program and AA was Higher Power. Gorbachev's response — that alcoholics and addicts could have Higher Power, but no one else — became the first time Higher Power was approved in a Soviet government program. Joe also shares Shikhov's research conclusion that 20 percent of every population on earth is alcoholic, regardless of culture, race, or geography.

The heart of the talk is Joe's framework for working the steps forward versus backward. He spent nine years on Step One, discovered he was eligible for Step Two when he realized he was certifiably insane for trying to manage what he knew could not be managed, and finally took Step Three while driving down the Nimitz Freeway by saying "Okay, Buster, from now on, anything you say goes." He demonstrates doing all twelve steps in under a minute, then walks them backward to show exactly what it would take for him to drink again — a vivid illustration that he is twelve steps away from a drink, not one drink away from a drunk.

Joe closes with raw honesty about tragedy — his granddaughter Polly's kidnapping and murder, his youngest son's death from alcoholism at 35, and his mother-in-law's passing — and insists that serenity is not the same as happy, joyous, and free. Serenity, he says, is worthless unless you have a disaster to use it on. His signature teaching, "Higher Power, take charge," became a movement that spread across the country on bumper stickers and greeting cards, and he leads the audience in saying it together as a collective third step.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Joe introduces himself — 32 years sober, from Carmel, lists his multiple fellowships and 75 years of financial insecurity
• 4:00 Story of traveling to Siberia with six AA and Al-Anon members to help found groups in four Russian cities
• 8:00 Dr. Shikhov tells Gorbachev the only difference between SS and AA is Higher Power — Gorbachev approves Higher Power for alcoholics only
• 13:00 Shikhov's research conclusion that 20 percent of every population is alcoholic regardless of culture or geography
• 16:00 Hong Kong AA meeting with no Chinese members — conversation about family honor and secret family groups
• 22:00 How Joe got sober — wife's suggestion, Pappy Boyington showing up at his door with a Big Book
• 30:00 Nine years to finish Step One, discovering he was eligible for Step Two, taking Step Three on the Nimitz Freeway
• 38:00 Demonstrates all twelve steps in 45 seconds forward, then walks them backward to show what it takes to drink again
• 43:00 Polly's murder, son's death from alcoholism — serenity is worthless unless you have a disaster to use it on
• 47:00 Origin of 'Higher Power, take charge' — Bill the actor, the Big Sky Roundup, and leading the audience in a collective Step Three