Ninth Step Forgiveness Gave Me Back the Sons My Drinking Nearly Destroyed – Polly P.

About This Speaker Tape

Polly P. shares her story at the 56th Florida State Convention with 35 years of sobriety since April 11, 1977. She describes growing up in Texas as an only child of two abused parents who loved her but lacked the self-worth they tried to instill. Raised Southern Baptist where drinking was forbidden, she married an Air Force officer at 18 and had her first drink at a military wives luncheon, where sherry from a fountain gave her that feeling of ease and comfort described in the Doctor's Opinion.

Her drinking progressed as a stay-at-home mother of two boys, and she describes the devastating impact on her children with gut-wrenching specificity. Her son James, at nine years old, would step over her passed-out body on the kitchen floor, eat breakfast beside her, feel nothing, and leave for school. She broke promises to attend games and concerts, then raged at her children when they expressed disappointment. Her first sponsor Frank, a former Monsignor priest, told her plainly she was a child abuser and directed her to make amends to her boys, then ages 14 and 16.

After a car wreck in Irving, Texas where she called police claiming her car was stolen, she entered treatment three times. Her final bottom came when she was pronounced dead on arrival at a hospital in Bedford, Texas on April 8, 1977, after a friend found her in a motel with scotch and pills. Court-committed to treatment, she surrendered and began doing everything AA asked. She also hit a devastating bottom sober around relationships, ending up in an abortion clinic at two years sober, a shame she carried until sharing it freed other women to share their own secrets.

At 35 years sober, she has a 32-year marriage to Dave, reconciled relationships with both sons, five grandchildren, and sponsors more women than ever. She credits the ninth step and the gift of forgiveness for transforming her relationships, and describes working with other alcoholics as her antidote for depression. All four of their children are sober alcoholics, and she and Dave survived foreclosure, bankruptcy, and the death of their oldest son Mike at 42.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction, gratitude for the convention, acknowledgment of friends and husband Dave
• 5:00 Why she stays so active at 35 years sober and the selfish reason behind service work
• 9:00 Family background, theory about genetic alcoholism, her raging father and Southern Baptist upbringing
• 14:00 The ninth step and forgiveness, making amends to her father before he died at one year sober
• 19:00 Marrying an Air Force officer at 18, the mandatory coffee with officers wives, overwhelming inadequacy
• 24:00 First drink from the sherry fountain at the officers wives luncheon, feeling of ease and comfort
• 29:00 Impact on her two boys, James at nine stepping over her on the kitchen floor, broken promises and rage
• 36:00 Frank the Monsignor as first sponsor, fifth step revelation of child abuse, making amends to her sons
• 42:00 Car wreck in Irving, treatment centers, DOA at Bedford hospital, friend finding her in the motel
• 50:00 Sober bottom with relationships, marriage to Dave, depression antidote of working with other alcoholics