Ninth Step Amends to the Doctor I Convinced to Remove My Perfectly Good Appendix – Charles P.

Hello, I'm Tim R., and I'm an alcoholic. And tonight, we have Charles P. telling his story from Gainesville, Georgia. He's a member of the Friendship Group at the Hawk Club. He's been sober. His last drink was over 30 years ago. That's almost twice my length in sobriety. He's been a big factor in my own development. He's such a great example, sponsoring people, sharing in meetings, driving down here to be of service by telling his story. We're so grateful that he's come to share with us. And please join Charles. So, at a young age, there I was shooting up Demerol and morphine in the parking lot of the school and going back to the class. And, of course, alcohol is a gibbet. You know, most days. If not all days, even at that age, alcohol is a gibbet. That's what I had to do to be able to go to sleep at night. And, plus, I wanted to do it. I didn't think I had an alcohol problem. I can remember one time, I think I was 19 years old. I'd done several self-harm things in order to get opiates. But one time, I went out squirrel hunting by myself in my 22, and I shot myself in the leg. I've got holes to prove it, walking myself back, breathing to death. And I did that to get opiates. That's how desperate I was to get high and not feel like me. Because I hated me, and I hate how I felt. And that's what I had to do to get opiates, because the alcohol wasn't always enough. First time I got really taken down by a drug and or alcohol was I was playing in a rock band and got addicted to shooting coke. But I never got in an opiate or a kissed opiate. And I don't know if any of you Bill have any experience with that. I don't know of any feeling worse than the sign coming up out of doping money. I got 50 holes in my arms down, down in liquor trying, trying to pass out. So I won't find a way to get more money and get more dope. But that was at a pretty young age. If that was happening to me. I would get good jobs. And I am keeping this a pretty G-rated version of my story. To keep the opiate chain going, I would manipulate doctors to get drugs. I would go to several of them. Then I got busted for forging prescriptions. And that let me off pretty easy the first time. You would think that would have been enough. But I got caught again with forging prescriptions. I remember they took me into this little interrogation room. And there was a list, two cops were in there with me. They had a list of like a page and a third of names of people in town that were doing the same thing, getting opiates prescribed to them illegally. I looked at that list, and I promise you, I was every one of them. Every name was one of my aliases. Every one of them. I said, boy, I guess I better speak to a lawyer. I went on and on. I'm sure you all know the desperation of promising yourself all day that you're not going to drink. Promising everybody in your life that you're not going to drink. And then all of a sudden, that switch gets flipped on. And you're making a beeline to the liquor store. And you can't stop yourself, no matter what. Can't stop. That was me, for sure. Can't stop. Can't stop. Can't stop. And I know there's probably a whole lot of people in this room that have the same issue going on. So, again, I hated myself. And I hated that I could not stop. It was nonstop lying, conning, cheating, stealing, manipulating, whatever I could do to further my addiction. And it was hard work. That was every waking moment. Every waking moment of my life, I was pursuing drugs and alcohol. Working because I had to. Working when I had a job. I was in jail multiple times. I remember one time I got so desperate and so down that I decided to be in my life. And this was a very serious attempt. And I'm living at my parents', of course, my sorry ass, living there. And so I decided to take a bottle of pain pills, a whole bottle of nerve pills, and a bottle of sleeping pills. And then I proceeded to drink. And I took myself to death with as much alcohol as I could drink until I passed out. Which I did. And this wasn't a cry for help. I did it way before my parents would get home. I did it before they could rescue me and get me to a hospital in time. My mother woke me up about 7.30 and said I had a phone call. I got up and I was fine. I didn't even have a buzz. Did not even have a buzz. I wonder. I wonder if me standing here tonight is one of the reasons why. I hope so. I hope y'all hear something that you can use in this. Two nights later, or two evenings later, before my parents' home. And I'm high as a kite. I took a garden hose to my diesel Volvo, landed up through the trunk, into the interior of the car. And drove myself to a park. It was closed for the winter. They had a yellow bar across the road where nobody could get in. You know, the big yellow bars. I drove up on the bank around that bar and went back there to die. And I was sitting in my car drinking, drinking, I was drinking wine. I was drinking my last bit of wine before I was gone. Next thing I know, EMT had opened. Opened the door and was asking me if I wanted to go with him to the hospital. And I knew I couldn't say no. So I went there to the hospital. And for my second trip, I didn't tell you that already, I went first trip. But for my second trip, I went to Georgia Mental Health Institute on Briar Cliff Road down here. Anybody here old enough to know about Georgia Mental Health 10 back there? I went back there. It was crazy as hell. People go. I mean, I was crazy enough. But you get there, they're really crazy. Jail. Went to the state boot camp. And then they finally sent me to Kickstart. Kickstart is a residential treatment center in Gainesville. And those people were fantastic there. But I did not want to be there. I did not. And so I knew I was about to go. I had a couple of days. And my sister, because of course I'm staying at my parents'. My sister had the flu. I said, well, I've got something for them. So she ate some ice cream. I took her ice cream bowl and I licked it. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. And then about three days, I had like a 104 degree fever. I said, y'all have to take me to the doctor. So they did. They took me to the emergency room. I'm well studied in symptoms. So I managed to convince that doctor. I had appendicitis. Y'all want to see my scar? They took my appendix out. They did. As a matter of fact, one of my ninth steps was going to that doctor. And I didn't actually speak to the doctor, but I did tell his assistant, you know, what had taken place. And the fact that I had gotten dope from them. And I apologize for that because that was one of my ninth steps. of my nine-step things, but I went, oh, then my last DUI, if you can believe this, the guy who did my appendix, Dr. Fullenweider, my last DUI, I was going over to try to find my girlfriend at the time, a stripper, trying to find her to get to this house where I knew she was actually at her girlfriend's house, but there I am, I drank, I think, four or five Lung Island teas at the bar, I'm on intensive probation, and wasn't even supposed to be at or drinking. And sure enough, the cop gets behind me, and I said, well, my thinking is, I am going to just get away from him, get down to the end of the road, jump out and run, and go report my car stolen, because, you know, I was full of brilliant ideas at the time. And so I took off anyway, and there I am going through a residential 30-mile-an-hour neighborhood doing 86 is what he clocked me out. I finally ended up in this cul-de-sac, hitting. The cul-de-sac, and whose yard do I land in, but the parents of the doctor that took out my appendix, that landed in a four-water's yard, go ripping their grass up through there, and go to the bank, hit a tree, and they said, I got out, and tried to run away, ran into a tree, and knocked myself out. Sure enough. And I had this car, then the bark in my head. I had to prove it. Been on many adventures. I got sent back to Kickstart, the residential treatment center, and I really wanted to stop getting drugs and alcohol. I just didn't think it was possible. I really didn't. But I did get a good sponsor, and he pronounced himself my sponsor, and I felt like that I actually had a chance. There was a possibility, because I wanted it. I had a great sponsor, and he took me through the steps. Every one of them. Five a book. Like I do with my sponsees now. I tell them, we are going to cover the steps, and we do. And, you know, it was about three or four months into that program, and I'm walking down the street, coming back to the residential treatment center, and it's about 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and I realized I had gone the entire day without wanting to use drugs or alcohol. That was impossible. That was impossible. The miracle was there for me, and I was receiving it. I was receiving that miracle. I was elated. I was just absolutely elated, because I knew I stood a chance of getting some long-term sobriety, maybe even quitting for life. And going through that program, it taught me also how to live life on life's terms, and how to apply these steps to my life for almost any situation. Okay. listen to other people in the program and learn how to live life on life's terms not only did I catch up my multiple probations the fines went away I've caught up 40 over $40,000 in child support which I didn't mean to tell you about the child I do have a 40 year old child that he turned 40 this week and I've got two amazing grandsons I'm very proud of after I got out of kickstart I continued where I was working because they didn't want me doing my own business or anything they had me working in this place called Georgia chair and I was a wood placement specialist y'all know what a wood placement specialist is I took wood from here and put it here all day long I was with a team that was on the heck out of wood and it was super loud and I hated it but I continued there for like three more months and then me and my brother-in-law opened up my first business our first business and I was still on a bicycle at the time I still had nine suspensions for addressing the driver's license from there on I have been I've gone to different business but I've been fed every day had a roof over my head every day been able to pay the rent or mortgage every month had amazing beautiful wife come into my life and I'm so very grateful to have her and we have two wonderful dogs you know I want to make it clear about something must find 15 years ago this little over 15 years ago I had an opiate slip after a bunch of surgeries and that's because I got complacent I felt like I had the program booked and you heard in here the meeting makers make it okay well I got complacent didn't go to meetings and I didn't even tell my doctors because I was having all these surgeons I didn't tell my doctors that I had an opiate addiction how do you think that went so I ended up using for several months thank God I didn't drink and I didn't pick up I mean I picked up a white chip for that and finally when I got close to 30 years my sponsor told me and he said and he'd made a check with the New York office and everything and he said this is how our sponsor would want because we had a mutual sponsor he said son you need to pick up a a a chip for that and so I did but I always like to explain the fact that I had the opiate slip and I don't try to get around it or try to make it sound like I'm not an opiate addict and didn't have the slip 15 years ago because I did right now I mean I can tell you that that opiate slip was one of the best things that ever happened to me because I had severe depression after that just severe depression I'm telling you, taking a breath was laborious to me. It was so bad I could not make myself do anything. But I got myself to a meeting. And the only time I could get relief from the depression was in a meeting. And it's like God gave me this slip to get me back in the meetings because I was going to meetings three times a day. And now I still do four or five meetings a week. I sponsor people. And I started doing something in March that I swore I would never do because I didn't want to be back in jail. I'd go every week to a meeting inside in the jails. And probably one of the best things I've ever done in this program. And those guys were at such a low. And I've been there. I know. They were such a low. And you see those big guys come in there and alcohol and drugs has ruined their life. And they're sharing from their heart. And they cheer up and they're crying. And they're so glad that we came. I tell them I'm so glad that they came to our meeting. And it's so cool that when we see one come into the hot tub where we have meetings, it's so cool to see them show up. I mean, that's payday. That's money in the bank right there. I promise you it is for me. But I do go to at least four or five meetings a week. And I am very wealthy. And not because of any money. I'm wealthy because I have you all in my life. I'm wealthy because I have a wonderful wife and family. I'm wealthy because I have genuine love in my life. I have real friendship in my life. I'm nothing without that. I'm nothing without you people and without this program in my life. I did my meeting with my spectacular wife. All right. Thirteen years ago, we just had our 11th anniversary. She has managed to put up with it any this long. And y'all come congratulate her. And she has about one drink every two months. And I'm looking at her and I'm saying, are you going to finish that thing? She's a cheat day. I want you to know, if you haven't received the miracle of not wanting to use drugs, and alcohol anymore, it's here. I promise you it's here. You keep coming. You work these very simple steps with a sponsor, and you're going to lose that desire to drink and do drugs. You're going to lose that compulsion that makes you want to go to the liquor store no matter what. It's going to leave you. It's here for you. It's free. It doesn't cost a damn thing. It's the best bargain in the world. This is the best deal going anywhere. Give up one thing to have everything. Give up one thing to have everything. Tell me where you can beat that. I hope you all will keep coming back. I want to give credit to Jesus, my sponsor, and to you people. Thanks for this miracle. Thanks for the surprise.