Fronting the Program Means Wanting the Results of Step 9 Before You Do Step 1 – Larry T.

About This Speaker Tape

Larry T. from Long Beach shares his story with over ten years of sobriety, tracing his journey from a chaotic childhood in Southern California to the depths of alcoholism and back. He describes growing up with a speed-addicted mother who stayed up all night needlepointing and edging the neighbors' yard, an alcoholic father who climbed through bedroom windows because he didn't have keys to his own house, and a grandfather who secretly drank peach brandy after saying his rosary. Larry found his first sense of belonging with the Lowriders, cruising Hawthorne Boulevard on reds and gin, and took his first drink of Four Roses whiskey at age twelve in a garage across the street.

His drinking and drug use escalated through high school, where he ran over a Jack-in-the-Box drive-through speaker while high on barbiturates during driver's education class, losing his license until age thirty. He turned down an all-expenses-paid family trip to Sao Paulo, Brazil because he couldn't imagine leaving his liquor and drug connections behind, opting instead for a solo move to Phoenix where he began forging prescriptions. By twenty-one, alcohol stopped working entirely, and he spent the next decade chasing a drunk he would never find again, cycling through Camarillo State Hospital, jails, missions, and the streets of Wilmington.

From 1975 to 1982, Larry drifted in and out of AA meetings without ever working the program, treating the rooms as shelter rather than a way of life. His sponsor Don kept showing up, and during one visit to Larry's hotel room, Don brought a newcomer named Herbie to show him what active alcoholism looked like. When Larry finally called central office on May 2, 1982, Don refused to pick him up, telling him to walk there himself. Larry walked twelve miles from Wilmington to the TLC Club, shook out his last drunk with the help of members Frank and Lucille, and never drank again.

In sobriety, Larry found a permanent sponsor named Johnny at the Big Book Group of Bellflower, became a plumber, made amends with his parents, and watched his alcoholic father eventually reach out to him for help getting sober. He speaks with raw emotion about his father finally putting an arm on his shoulder and saying he loved him after forty years of distance. Larry closes by urging newcomers to learn to swim in crowded beaches, to take the action before expecting results, and to find desperation deep enough to try things they don't believe will work.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Larry introduces himself with ten years sober, talks about trained feet carrying him to meetings when his mind says no
• 5:00 Learn to swim in crowded beaches metaphor — warns about the riptide of complacency pulling you away from the program
• 9:00 Five years sober, elevator mugging scare at the Dunbar Hotel renovation in downtown LA turns out to be elevator workers testing cables
• 13:00 Childhood home — speed-addicted mother needlepointing all night, alcoholic father climbing through bedroom windows, grandfather grinding bunions after secret peach brandy
• 20:00 Baby brother dies, Larry hits his father for the first time, crosses an invisible line of respect and becomes a window climber himself
• 23:00 First drink at twelve — Four Roses whiskey in a garage, discovers the deadly connection between alcohol and the happiness he could never find elsewhere
• 28:00 The Lowriders era — cruising Hawthorne Boulevard on reds and gin, driver's ed disaster running over the Jack-in-the-Box speaker on barbiturates
• 35:00 Turns down family trip to Brazil, moves to Phoenix, forges prescriptions, goes to prison — at twenty-one alcohol stops working entirely
• 43:00 Sponsor Don visits his room at the Don Hotel with newcomer Herbie, Larry says he doesn't want what AA has — the phrase let me do what I want to do echoes through every disaster
• 52:00 May 2, 1982 — calls central office, Don refuses to pick him up, Larry walks twelve miles to the TLC Club and gets sober for good. Makes amends with his father, who finally says I love you